₦airaland Forum

This question does not need a predictive answer.
He won't marry her. You can take that from me.
Just advise your cousin to look for someone else.

@drag on
Do you have anything else to say is this all ?
We have heard such stories before from people seeking attention or just trying to spew spurious and baseless arguments.
Please try another method. This is no longer a popular way to be famous

There is no big deal about being unmarried at 39. In my tribe alot of men get married well into their 30's
I have a cousin who recently got married at about 45. Another got married around 36 or so. They had no previous wives or kids
Just let them be.

One thing is clear,Charles Taylor will be found and arrested.He has no place to hide.The world has become too small and there are too many satellites,radios and informants around. It is only a matter of very short time.
This should be a lesson to those who insist of plunging their countries into crisis.One day they will be called to answer for their crimes.

Folks lets face it,there is no way Charles Taylor could have escaped without government knowledge unless we are declaring that there is no more Military Intelligence and Security Service in Nigeria,then I will ask what the SSS,DMI,NIA and Police are doing ?
When you agree to hand over a criminal common sense,not even military sense,demands that you put the person in confinement so he does not escape.If a "military" government in cvillian uniform does not know this then, either something funny is going on or we simply have  absolutely ignorant and clueless people ruling our country. I think it is more of the former than later.

Just fold your hands and watch.The movies has only just begun.It is going to be interesting,thrilling and action packed.Don't miss an episode.

It seems he has escaped .
To my mind it seems the government does not really want to give him up so they can easily him allow to escape.
I am not saying they helped him to escape,but that would be a good way of not giving him up. I simpy don't trust this government.

@Shanon
I like your reponses. You sound like a nice girl.Truly if ladies will reason this way I think marriage will be alot  more fun instead of it becoming a yoke.

I have always believed that because you are married does not mean you should lose your individuality.
I have a female friend back in Nigeria. We are not in a relationship but we are pretty close. I advised her before I left the country to take time to make friends and open up to decent interactions with other males.The reason being that I did not want her to lose her individual nature because of me and moreover,there is no assurance that I will marry her,so why tie her down.
That is how I think we ought to live.The ability to have a good,intimate,faithful relationship and still be ourselves.Still keep your nice friends and still do those things you love.
Of course,when married somethings will have to be given up(and you know those things) but nobody should make the other partner feel like they are in bondage.It makes marriege scary.Married or not,you are still human being with your own life,soul,spirit and body.

@QueenB

Hey yo Mr.Giddy or whatever, better watch your tongue aight. I'm a Ghanian and im very hoot.

Can we see some Pictures as proof ?

Welcome to the land of funloving Nigerians and friends of Nigeria.
Feel free to speak your mind.

We have a Chief Priest,he is High Chief Seun. Try not to offend him. His good hours are few,maybe twenty-three and half hours everyday 
He is the administrator hence I call him the Chief Priest.

One more thing,people here are harmless though they may say some things that may offend or irritate you.Just take it in your stride.Nothing personal.
Also, some posts get laced with  our local English(Pidgin).If you don't understand what we have said feel free to ask for the English translation

When you see an open mouthed smiley at the end of a statement it oftens means the statement should be taken as a joke or taken lightly.

Okay NL members I have tried to perform an unofficial initiation for this cute lady in our midst (I hope I have not incurred the wrath of some elders in the forum).Others who have some more initaition rites to perform should please do so.

Maybe that is why I am still skeptical of marriage because most people change from what they used to do before the wedding ceremony 

It doesn't have to be so though. Back in Nigeria I had these three married ladies in my office-two of them with kids.You need to see these women dress cute and good.if you ain't told they were married you would almost go for them.

Ladies should understand that certain things  attract us to them,such as their looks and dressing,romantic tendencies,etc.If you drop all those thing after the wedding ceremony you start to loose the qualities that once attracted us and although I do not support infedelity,but these are the things that drive the men out.Please ladies maintain the standard.

As for men,be nice to your women because you really want to be nice not because you want to her to marry you.After the wedding ceremony let your love for her continue.

There should also be communication.If your spouse is beginning to do something  you dislike gently,nicely,politely but firmly call his/her attention to it and if there is true love changes will be made.

I do not support divorce but we should be aware that in these days of liberality, if one partner is fed up with the marriege he/she will head for the courts and a broken marriage is never a good thing.

Blacknbold what sort of advice do you want from us.

If you are enjoying a bowl of fufu and I come and tell you that it contains hydrogen Cyanide(a very potent poison that kils fast) will you continue to eat that food simply bacause you are  enjoying it ?

You already know the way out and that is through the open door.

It doesn't take anything to walk out of a relationship.Just know that you are on the wrong lane and get  out of there or else you will be kicked out and then you will be seriously bruised !

One thing guys hate to hear, a woman who talks like her life depends completely on the man.It makes men feel roped in. Always give a man some space by having some independence of your own. When a guy feels roped in he begins to find a way out.

Another thing,please don't talk too much.Just say enough and leave the rest for later.We easily become bored with too much talk.Thank you very much !

This will interest the ladies,men don't like women who do not communicate.Oh ! how I dislike a lady who will sulk and yet not tell me what troubles her because she expects me to know intuitively.Some men are not as intuitive as women when it comes to emotional/relationship based issues.If something is troubling you please speak up.Don't sulk and expect me to ask you what the matter is because I may not  and you would think I don't care whereas I do.I just don't like a sulking lady !

Most Nigerian "girls" on yahoo are actually male fraudsters looking for money. Forget them when you run into one.The good ones are at home,not on yahoo.

Steal her phone. The number will always be somewhere inside it   

I am already waiting for the next trick these lawmarkers will come up with.
Maybe a trip to the Moon for the great,indefatigable Obasanjo.
Shameless charlatans ! 

_*hisses*

I get so worked up over two kinds of people:
[1]Men who beg women never to leave them and [2]Women who say they want to leave a man but don't how or they are confused.

Love is not a battle you fight day and night.If it not there it is not there.No need dragging it.

I am okay with working out a marriage but why do you have to burst your brains and spill your bowels working out a relationship[not marriage,mind you] that is not working and what is so hard about telling the g.u.y you want out ?
Move on if that is what you want. Tell him gently but firmly that it is not working and move on.

G.u.y.s please stop begging women to love you !! It is not manly and once a man starts doing that he loses his self worth.Such people are 'wussies'(losers,weaklings).
If a girl says she does not want you and has made it clear she does not want you,please move on.

There are some 6.5 billion human beings on planet earth.There is certainly somebody out there for every woman and for every man.
Lets stop this trash about holding on,hanging on,begging on,very confused,suicidal traits and what have you that people cook up when a relationship goes sour.

You are a human being and you have got the power of choice in you.Use it.No body will die,I assure you.

Sorry ,I have been a bit on the harsh side here but I think it is time will learn to live our lives the way God wants and that means,we should not be held in any form of relationship bondage.

Papermoon don hala !!!
Relax babe,what a man can do a woman can do better. Oya time to perform don come.Women to the rescue ! A boy is in need and the babe must provide 

Jokes aside,Tolumi dump the g.u.y if you are sincere in saying he stylishly collects from you but does not give in return but if he genuinely does not have to give and you love him and he is a good man in all other aspects,you may have to tarry with and help build him up.

You just have to discern whether he is sincerely broke or just plain stingy. Stingy people are very difficult to relate with.You don't need that kind of extra stress in an already stressful world.
Wish you luck

Hotstepper:
,  but da truth of the matter is that if I am to change 1 or 2 things about myself it would be 1. to be darked skinned ,

That is very easy. Hang out for two months in the SAHARA DESERT. I assure you,you will get pretty dark 

thelma2:
What you should do is clean up the kitchen and lock it up then they'll be forced to keep trash and dirty dishes in their rooms. Bet they can live with it.

Don't you fellows think that for a post on the 'Family' Section we should take the raw sex and stuff out if it ,especially as an advice to a 15 year old ?
Please g.u.y.s give her genuine advice and leave sex out of this.This is the family section not Romance.
Moreover, teenagers are highly emotional.Lets not be harsh with her or else she will withdraw into a shell and feel she has done wrong for expressing herself.This might make her reluctant to express herself concerning pertinent issues in the future.

Softee,relax on the baby thing and just focus on your academics.When you cross 20 you can start looking for a baby but make sure you first get a husband and also a good education  so you can be independent.

Bunkbobo, I see you just want to keep this argument up so as not to be seen as losing face.It is not necessary.This issue is not  a contest of intellectual wit or a demonstration of argumentative prowess.

Every region of the world has got its tradition and culture and that includes the Western world.For example,it is customary to give a tip when you dine at a restaurant in the US but in Britain that is not the tradition.

Not all African traditions are bad and nobody haggles and bargains over bride price.I think you either made that up or you think it is so.
Anyway,where there is haggling over bride price is one of the few exceptions where a normal thing is being exploited by some people and that happens in every aspect of life,not only bride price paying.In most cases,there is no haggling.At least in my culture there is no haggling.I know what I am saying here.My junior sister is married and there was no haggles or bargaining over her bride price.

Moreover,in India it is the brides family that pays the bride(groom ?) price.Will you now say that they are buying the man ?
The women in the forum whom you say you are trying to defend have said they are okay with it and I know the single ladies look forward to the day a man will come and pay the bride price on them.

There is no need for the outsider to cry more than the bereaved.
If the women say they are okay with it why are you still calling the practice abominable ?Who are you now defending ?

@idiot


Your name seems to fit your suggestion 
But maybe I should consider it .

Bunkbobo has got a real bashing in this post.I guess he would have wished he did not bring it up 
Almost everybody seem to be defending the custom of paying bride price and I fully support it.It is our culture and we don't need to do away with it simply because the whites don't do it.Afterall,the whites still have their "wedding parties" and compulsory "honeymoon". We must not copy the white in everything.They are not God.

Anyway,in my culture the bride price is twenty-four naira.Certainly cheap enough for any serious man to afford and you certainly won't be buying my sisters because you paid that. Most men come up with more than that though.What the bride's family does is to collect the twenty-four naira out of the money the man comes with and give him the rest to go and use in taking care of his new wife. Beautiful culture if you ask me. 

So Bunkbobo,if you wanna marry an african sister just look for the little bride price and pay it.It is small money to pay for all the pleasure you are going to get from her.
And no,you are not buying the woman.You are only showing you place a great deal of value and love on her.

Beautiful suggestions. I really appreciate them.

No I can't walk out now.It is only a one year program and six months is already gone.Moreover, the accommodation is already paid for.
None of them is too big for me to talk to even though I may not be a giant in size . I just enjoy the "no confrontation" life style.
Seun, recharge cards are not popular here (most people top up online or at the cash machine)  and I don't have spare pounds to use in giving bribes.

Truly the best option is to leave things the way they are.I can also turn a blind eye to dirt if I wish to.When the whole place is in a mess I am sure somebody will get "brain by force" and do some cleaning.

So I am no longer going to lose my cool.It is not worth it.
Thanks folks

thupsie:
But i am still saying Y DO GIRLS search more than the boys?

Because girls are too possessive and some of them feel too insecure. When they come into your life they want to take everything over 

Wetin she day find for my phone abi she follow buy am.
I also noticed it is mostly the ladies that are for searching and the guys are like: No way !

Before the advent of GSM were relationships not being conducted in peace ? In fact we are taking technology and civilisation too far and causing unecessary problems for ourselves.No wonder relationships and marriages no longer last.People have become too suspicious and intolerant of each other.

Personally I don't think it is wise running through each others phones or computers.What are you looking for ? I will keep my phone to myself and let her keep hers.I have nothing to hide but there is no need for her to go searching.I will choose to trust her so I won't bother searching her phone either.If somebody is unfaithful it will come out one day,phone searching or no phone searching.

Checking your partner's phone to sincerely get a piece of information is okay but scrolling through to see what he or she has been up to speaks of distrust and somebody has no business being in that relationship in the first place.

IAH:
I understand it can be annoying because I've been in that kind of situation before and what I learnt is that if you don't like it that way, clean it! If you can't clean it then leave it and enjoy!

In fact this is what I have almost resolved to do. Clean when I want to or better still,leave it.I guess if we all find the kitchen in a mess somebody will sit down and realise it is worth keeping the place tidy.

Seun suggested bribing them. Typical Nigerian. Maybe I should offer them some left over garri,do you think that will appease the fellows ? 

A Nigerian man living in Sweden decided to marry a Swedish woman in order to be legally certified via resident status,  but the woman was not aware of this. She felt he really loved her. Anyway, seeing that Nigerian men had a bad rap in that particular part of Sweden, our chap decided to lie to the lady. He told her he was from Uganda.

After being married a while, the lady came home one day and informed our man that she had just met another Swedish lady who had married a Ugandan and they must all have dinner together.

The Naija man was worried and wondered how he'd get out of this wahala (trouble). He postponed and postponed the dinner until he couldn't find anymore excuses.

Finally, the day came when they were to have dinner. The other Swede came in with her Ugandan husband and they all sat at the table. Our Naija guy was very quiet. "My own don spoil today" was all he could think.

The two Swedish ladies, wanting their husbands to mingle, being from the same homeland, asked them to speak to each other. "Hey! It's not every day you meet people from home.!"

Our Naija man, being a man of great sense, decided that he would just speak Yoruba, and the guy would probably assume he was from some part of Uganda where they spoke a different language. So looking across the table he said: "Egbon Eko ni mi se? Ni bo lo ti ja wa?"( In Yoruba, this means: "I'm a Lagos man. Where do you come from?"

The fellow looked up at our friend. His eyes lit up as he said: "Ah, bobo gan! Omo Eko ni mi Se! Omo Eko gan gan!" (In Yoruba, this means "Hey buddy! I'm a Lagos child. A REAL Lagos child."