₦airaland Forum

Mr Seun I have some questions for you.

Where were the prenups in the decades past when grannies of today still with their fisrt marriages got married ?
Why has prenups become important today ?
We have always had rich men and rich women getting married in the past with no prenups.Why was it not necessary then ?

Can't you see that the problem goes beyond just taking a "marriage insurance",according to you.An insurance I am sure our parents never needed and yet they brought us up well,if we agree that are we are well brought up.

Hey friend,throw the prenonsense out of the window and lets instead work towards having  lasting marriages without the need to set the rules of separtion even before being joined together

Ain't we missing something here.We are using celebrity  and nouve riche marriages as a standard for the proper marriage but history has proved beyond any doubt that this category of peope have the most failed marriages and they can't be used as standard.They are too high and mighty to be humble enough to learn the nitty-gritty of marriage.

The standards for marriages should be those ordinary folks,mostly in the villages,who are well past seventy and have celebrated over thiry years of marriage to just the same first wife or husband.That category includes most of our parents and grandparents.Ordinary simple folks,not celebrities who are damm so materialist and egotistic.(I have a strong dislike for celebrities  )

In the past there were no prenups and marriages survived longer.My parents have been married for 33 years now and are still very much together in love,no prenups.

Lets face it,we have turned relationships into business ventures because the modern society tells us there is an easy way out.
If we stick to the traditional methods,were the couple weather storms together,then there will be no need for the very useless,baseless,stupid prenonsense called prenuptial agreements.

If you don't trust a person enough to spend your life with them,then don't bother to marry them.Better to be single than marry with the knowledge that it ain't gonna last.

Sexy- I love em sexy with a high libido

Beautiful-hmmm, who doesn't want this

Neat--i hate em sloppy and stinky

Faithful---some how it does not bother me.

Why is it that relationships are so hard these days.
Heck ! Pick his call or don't pick it ,what does it matter.
For all I care,I will pick or not pick a call ,depending on my mood.
My girl can pick my call if I am not within reach but she should not do it because she is suspicipous of me,otherwise there is no basis for the relationship.
People have simply messed up this relationship thing.
Now everything is viewed with suspicion and ulterior motives.
Picking a call is a simple thing that should not have called for a discussion.

Nwoke:
Ngozi Okonjo-Iyeala!

It is actually Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala

sleep,browse the internet,watch movies and comedies and then sleep again

If this is true what does it portend for the Third term agenda ?

Chairman of the People's Democratic Party (PDP) Board of Trustees, Chief Tony Anenih, presumed to be at the forefront of the move to extend the tenure of President Olusegun Obasanjo, left the country at the weekend for New York in the United States.
The sudden departure of Anenih, popularly called "Mr. Fix it," has been viewed as a major setback to the third term project as he is believed to be the major strategist of the campaign.
Political watchers also see his departure as a subtle withdrawal from the campaign which appears heading for a failure following the inability of third term forces to garner the required number that will see it through the National Assem-bly.
Although, the reason for his sudden departure was not made public, there were indications that he might not be back until after the National Assembly would have concluded deliberations on the constitution amendment bill.
The development has left the pro-third term campaigners guessing what the fate of the agenda may be as watchers see the exit of Anenih from the country on the verge of the commencement of the debate on the amendment bill as an expression of frustration.
This is against the background of the continued failed attempts by the pro-third term campaigners to get the two-third majority to pass the bill.
THISDAY learnt that Anenih might have foreseen insurmountable mountains as far the pursuit of the agenda is concerned based on his experience from the pursuit thus far.

I generally don't like jewelleries and that include wedding rings. If I can get married without a ring I will do so, it but if for the sake of the wedding ceremony I have to wear a ring I will certainly take it off as soon as the ceremony is over.

Members of Deeper Life Church do not wear wedding rings.That does not make them unfaithful to their spouses.In fact,they are quite faithful.( I am not a Deeper Life Chruch member o !  )

In conclusion, I hope not to wear a wedding ring even when I am married. My wife can wear hers' if she so desires but I won't be bothered,in fact will be glad,if she choses not to wear the ring

twinstaiye prison is probably American style, definitely not what we have in Nigeria 

Truth is that a true born again does not indulge in an intimate relationship with a non-born again. It is the rule of the faith.If you are a true Christian you can't have an intimate boy friend or girl friend who is not born again. There are certain things love alone can not surmount,a person's religious belief or faith is one of such things.

You don't get born again just to get a girl back.It does not work.

My advice:
1] Assess your life and get born again,not because of your girl but because it is the right thing to do.

2]Like all relationships if the passion is gone,you just have to let go.If your girl is saying she wants to leave you,born again or not born again,let her go.No need hanging on to a dying flame.It just won't be as sweet as before.

Wish you the best of luck

It has not happened to me yet but I am certainly going to do it alot when I get married.

Afterall ,na my wife abi 

Must we date ? Did our parents and grand parent date ? Yet they had better relationships and marriages than most of these modern,dating folks are going through today.
Scondy,just be yourself. Be nice,be friendly,know what you want and when Mr.Right comes by,settle down with him.

The problem with most modern homes/marriages  today is that the man and woman have done it all and seen it all before settling down and so there nothing interesting left in the relationship/marriage.
They compare their spouses with previous lovers and are less tolerant and more demanding of each other because each person thinks he/she deserves more, because they have lots of experiences from several past affairs to use for comparison.

Will applicants become prisoners after they are employed 

I agree with folks who say you need education and leagal status(a.k.a papers) to make it in the rich countries but here in the UK, I have met Nigerians who have these things,professionals with legal rights,and they are just surviving.I am not saying they are in abject poverty but,life isn't so wonderful either.They earn their salary,pay tax,bills and mortgage and just live,I mean nothing spectacular,not what you will call rich.

Maybe it is bacause UK is a conservative and expensive country.

Hi folks,

I have been hit by a business brain wave and that is to start a digital photography business when I return to Nigeria.

The idea is to produce instant digital pictures(and videos) with exotic background for people.It will also involve modifying pictures with the relevant software to make people look very beautiful or handsome in their pictures.In fact,I may even provide the Qneen's palace as a backgorund and those looking at your picture will think you were physically there to take it.
I have other novel ideas I will like to inculcate into the business.

The question is,is the digital photogarphy/video business lucrative in Nigeria ?

Before I left country the common thing thing was the conventional Manual Camera using photographic films.The type you take today and collect next week. Mine will be snap now,wait and collect in a few minutes.

Any advice or further idea as well as constructive criticism is fully welcome.

Just wondering, was this babe trying to take off her jeans before taking the pic 

Two months after a break up you are starting a new relationship,hmmm, something does not sound right here 

Do whatever you wish to do.It is your life.

_{Yeah,please try and be a bit more decent with your public dressing next time,it helps}

zatoichi:
Martial arts. Now adays, i train in my mind(busy as hell), strangely enough i sometimes sweat when i do,just visualizing,

What style of martial arts do you practice, Kung-fu ?
I am into karate and Jujitsu

In India the bride pays the grooms family the bride(groom ?) price. So there is no big deal about that.

For me it is  good music,travelling,reading,physical exercises,martial arts,chatting online and watching comedies.

Will love to go on some adventurous stunts like power bike riding, mountain climbing and skiing.

Will also love some cool morning cuddling and sex  but since I am not yet married that is out of the way for now 

So what are your hobbies ?

Friends,the issue is not the fellow's grammar but the fact that here is a brother in need of encouragement.The last thing he needs now is for his 'friends' to attack his English.That can be reserved for another day.You do not ask a woman who has just lost her husband in a road accident why she allowed the man to travel on that particular day.

@Emery
Sorry for what happend. Some people have advised you to pray for God's help.That is true.Go ahead and do it.
Also,go and plead with your head of school.The heart of men is made of flesh and blood,not steel.

If they refuse to accept you back to school and you really want to study,then I advise you plan to take the next JAMB or whatever and start all over.It may seem hard but your dream must never die as long as you are alive.

Wish you all the best and once more,take heart. It is not the end of the world.

Zahymaka:
If she's the kind of woman you wouldn't touch with a sixty-foot pole what happens?

Try a 100 foot pole 

Oasis:  Melancholic .Always detailed,meticulous and planning and never getting in until all the facts add up.But once begun will go all the way

Zahymaka and gentleaura : Cholerics . Rush in and get the job done.Blast out of the way anything standing in the way.Solve the problems as they come.

We need both kinds of people to get things going but they do fight alot if in the same team 

The issue is not really how much you earn in Nigeria but what you do with the money.
N13M per annum and :
you have to sink your own bore hole and build your water purifying plant.
Build you power generating plant
Establish your internet/telephone network
Construct your own road
Establish your own liesure park
Have your own courts where there is real justice which is obeyed by all
Import your own quality food,clothes and shoes
Have your own hospital
Have your police force
Build your own high standard university for your kids
Have your own shopping mall with the quality good you need

And a couple of other things that make life meaningful.

The issue to me is not about earning good money but having the right avenue to spend that money so that this one life time I have will be well lived and not just managed.

Drag_on did you read welborn contribution ? Please go and read it and then you will know where you are wrong

(I don't know if this is the right section to place this.)

While in Nigeria I saw alot of Nigerians living in abject poverty and just barely making ends meet. I felt the problem was with the country and its leadership.

I have been in the UK for a while now and I still see alot of Nigerians struggling to make ends meet. I am talking about educated and not so educated Nigerians. Professionals,skilled,semi-skilled,you name them.

They just survive.They can afford their meals and maybe pay rent in one of those run down areas but they are not really well-off.Not affluent.
Even in church dominated by Nigerians a regular prayer is still for God to bless us financially because so many people are just struggling.Just like we used to pray in Nigeria

An Iranian told me Africans are willing to work for as little as £10 a day because they have no jobs.(Don't convert that to Naira.UK is an expensive country and £10 is small money here).He called it slave labour and that is what it is.

The question is,is there something about Nigerians and Africans in general that seems to keep them poor,even when they are in rich countries ?

When we were coming back from church this afternoon somebody mentioned in the car that Nigeria is blessed.My stomach tightened.
Now I can see what blessings we have and how we are using our blessing.

Something is terribly wrong with Nigeria and Nigerians and unless we start finding a solution we are going no where,no amount of rhetoric withstanding.
See what jealousy can do.A young man with something to offer his country and some envious embassy officer is asking him useless questions.

We keep talking about Foreign Direct Investments (FDI).Is this how we plan to have the investment ?

There is nothing wrong with the relationship if there is true love and sex is not part of the bargain.( I disagree with sex before marriage)

If the guy is willing to wait for her to get to 18 or 20,which is only three to five years from now,they can get married.

I know a couple whose husband is 19 years older than the wife. She was 17 when they got married and he was 36.
Today they are still together in love,have seven wonderful kids and their marriage will be 33 years old this year.

15 is still a minor and too young for a committed a relationship so my advice will be to just be friends with the guy and see how things play out as you grow older.

Avoid committments,avoid sex and make friends as well with guys of your age group.
If the feeling is real,it will stand the test of time and the 15 year old will get to 20 in just about five years time.
If the feeling is mere infatuation it will die out naturally.

The 28 year old guy should be mature and not treat this child indecently.That will be evil.if he does not trully love then don't play with her emotions.let her go.And don't go popping her cherry.That is not a reward for masculinity.

I think drag_on just wanted to spark off some arguments from Christians,that was why I decided not join issues with him.

Dear Drag_on stop attacking christianity and just become one.We get enough attacks already from the Agnostics and Atheists but it has not changed anything. Jesus is still Lord and the Bible is still True.There are still miracles and Pastors are still caring.
In my Church in Port Harcourt educational grants are given to indigent students who are members of the church and it is a pentecostal church.

It is not very hard to be a christian,just sign up by accepting Christ as Lord. No need fighting us because you won't win.They have tried it for generations and it has not succeeded

I have followed this thread and realised that most people who are considering going back to Nigeria after their studies are just being sentimentally altruistic. They have some wonderful fantasies of what they could do when they got back to Nigeria. I don't want to scare you but please on issues like this you have to dump mere sentiments or altruism and face hard facts.
1]Businesses are not so easy to start up in Nigeria.
2]Real profits may be difficult to make honestly
3]No professional work ethics
4]No properly co-ordinated and recognised professional bodies
5]Face the harsh reality of no electricity,no water,poor or zero internet connection,poor telephone connection,no security,no good transportation,no health care,etc

I have a good job in Nigeria.I earn very good money and I may go back after my Master's degree here in the UK but it is not because Nigeria is such a wonderful place.It is just because I believe they can't pay me in the UK what I will like to earn,so no need giving up my Nigeria job for a UK job.

Friends,it is good to go back home but don't be too dreamy about what you will do when you get there.Life in Nigeria is tough and that is the plain truth.Go back if you are really convinced but don't go back just because you are fantasising.

You have only one life and in making certain decisions you have to consider yourself first before the nation or the family or whatever.If you die today,the nation will move on.

For those who say they want to contribute to making Nigeria great note, unless the government in a country is well organised NO INDIVIDUAL EFFORT will achieve anything much.There are lots of great and idealistic people in Nigeria.How much have they been able to contribute ?

All the great nations of the world did not become great because one or two individuals worked hard but because they had GOOD GOVERNANCE.One person can't make a great nation that is why the likes of Wole Soyinka,Gani Fawehinmi,Chinua Achebe,Aliko Dangote,Adedoyin,Sunny Odogwu, and so on have not be able to transform the nation.We need a good government for anything tangible to happen.

I am not a pessimist but in what ever you do be logical.Be convinced.Face facts and forget sentiments or fantasies.

If you are convinced to go home go, if not, do not go.

chinani:
@ funloving
45? really? were they any extenuating circumstances around this? just wondering. . .

Well,he had a Nigerian girl friend who later duped and disappointed him when he was in South Korea and the Korean girls do not marry foreigners in their land. He had to go back to Nigeria before he could find another girl to marry. He was in South Korea for a pretty long while.