₦airaland Forum

Tiredwify:
Uhmmm....

Just like some of you suggested, i went on my knees to beg him. I apologised for locking up his shirt and every of my action that might have gotten him upset. Meanwhile, he stopped eating my food and sleeping in our room.

He said he knew my intentions were right but my approach was wrong. I told him that if he had answered my question that night maybe there wouldn't have been need for quarrels.

He apologised for beating me and that he didn't mean to.

Okay! Quarrel settled. I have resolved to do the following:

1. Speak to my pastor to arrange counselling classes for us
2. I will ask him for monthly upkeep and whatever he says becomes the rule for that month.
3. I will never ask him how he spends his salary again.
4. I will start saving on my own (massively)
5. I will ask him for every need in the house, i will assist in meeting the ones he cant meet.


Please chip in one or two things concerning these resolutions of mine.

Thanks for being there always!!!

Please, make sure the pastor is matured and can act not only as a pastor but as a real father. Do not take your husband to a pastor he does not have regards or respect for. It won't work!! Take him to a man of God he genuinely respects. finally do not make it a habit of running to your pastor anytime you have disagreements. If you do, the pastor may not only run your home for you, your husband will lose respect and may begin to suspect both of you.

Tiredwify:
In as much as I know that I shouldn't have locked his shirt, he shouted on me, we had an heated argument, and it got physical. I am not trying to justify my acts.

I have been supportive of this man even before we got married. Like SapeleDon said, I have brought up discussions several times on how he wants me to help in offsetting his debts. Still, he didnt tell me how much debts he had and who he is owing. I wouldn't have raised an eyebrow if my salary has been paid, but I was saddened by the fact that he collected salary and didnt give me a dime for home upkeep. All he did was to buy the baby's diaper and food. No explanation, no discussion whatsoever. I am a woman that believes in communication so much, that is why I ask questions when I am displeased or unclear about issues. I dont assume and I dont pretend. But I have noticed that anytime we have discussions bordering on finances, it usually ends in quarrel or fight. For how long do I continue this? I am not even saying he should foot bills in the home, I am capable of doing all, just that I am cash strapped at the moment because our salary was delayed. All I needed was an explanation of how he spent his last income that we dont even have a penny in the house, and it has been like calling him to buy baby's food, bring money home from work to source for dinner etc. Even the weekly allowances I get from the office, I use it to organise meals (breakfast and dinner). It is when I don't have that I ask him for money and I all I get is "I don't have money". That got me wondering.

I know that our foundation is shaky, I don't know who to talk to about it, I am tired of boring my elder siblings with my story. My dad is old, I don't want to bother him too. His mum...that is another story for another day; Our pastors...we started attending the church when we got married and I am not sure I can trust my issues with them, I don't want anyone to be discussing my family on the pulpit. I have recommended to him severally that we need to see a marriage counselor, he said we don't need it.

I am dutiful wife and mother, and I believe in supporting my husband in all areas. I even went as far as seeking another job so as to have increased income for the family. Thank God he answered my prayers and I will be resuming in the new place very soon. All I ask for and I am still asking for is for him to let me into his financial life.

Unlike someone commented in this forum whether I have high taste, no I don't. But I do have taste. I can't say that we should go and live in far places like iyana ipaja, alimosho or any other area where rent is cheap when I go to school every evening after work (undergoing my Masters Prog). It is very commonsensical to get a place that has direct access to our places of work and my school.

I don't ask for what I cannot afford. I don't believe in saving when we have a need to be met (that has been my principle, maybe it is time for me to change it). I am not an impulsive buyer. I have only done cloth shopping twice this year (in January and when I resumed from maternity leave cos my size increased). I cant even remember the last time I changed my make up kit. I do my hair once in a month. I can go on and on and on.

If you know any independent marriage counselor we can visit, please I don't mind. I will still try and talk him into it.

@ OP, God will bless and help you.
I'm a bit bothered by some of the things you revealed on your husband's financial status.
You said, he is indebted but you do not know how much and who he is owing! He earns his salary and told you he has used everything to offset debts - debts you don't know who he owes and how much more to offset in the future and how the debts came about!!
This is strange and I hope he is not being blackmailed and that something or someone is not ripping him off financially.
If you do not know of any genuine marriage counsellor, I will suggest both of you go into counselling and prayers with a genuine and sincere Man of God who both of you respect.

Please, this is your marriage...don't ever think of divorce. It is unbiblical and the children in the marriage are worse off for it.

gazilion:
.

I don't know who is the new aviation minister NOW

mercylicious:
What works for okeke might not work for okafor. For me, u wont see shishi under such conditions. The full story will nt be far from the wife earning more than the guy, the guy then develops inferior complex making him over react in certain issues. He then pegs every disagreement they have on dt d wife isnt submissive cos of money. If you are a man- be a man. Dont feel intimidated. Whether u are short, handicap , unemployed etc should make you less of a man.

A colleague in my office had d same issue. Their pastor preached it in the church that the woman shld submit every including salary. The husband saw it as opportunity and demanded dt she submit her money. They opened a joint acnt in another bank and he was sole signatory to the acnt. It was like jazz. She lost her phone and the husband did not replace it for her. She will beg for phone from other staff to call 'honey.'

Her family abandoned her cos anyone dt asks for anything, she wil tell the person ,'Go to the right source' and when they go to 'honey' its one story or the other.

The girl bought a car before the handover things, it was part of the things dt were handed over to the guy. The girl will fly okada to and fro work not minding she was heavily pregnant. 'honey' does not see the importance of bringing his pregnant wife to work.

To crown the story , each time my colleagues sees honey in his place of work ( 'honey is a business man) , they see him playing draft. This thing come dey vex everybody but no one could say it out . Then, one day, this babe came back from mkting and was feeling very weak. She needed to drink malt and was begging for who will buy malt for her. All hell broke loose. It was started by a guy dt hardly talks in the office. Ppl joined the guy and finished the babe . I dont think she would sleep that night cos they really shred
.
Fast forward,two years later, i dont know how she broke loose from her marital bondage. She bought another car and takes care of herself. She buys things herself, atleast ive seen her buy abacha for herself.

I hate lies! I stopped reading your story when I saw the bolded above! It is not a joint account if there is only one signatory!!

exebi:
Her bad behavior has been long-standing and I have brought it to her attention several times. She even "promised" almost a year ago to change. Within one week of that promise, she did something horrible I would never have expected from her (an entirely different story) and indignantly used rudeness and disrespect to "defend" herself. Frankly, if I must be honest with myself, she just lacks the ability to behave properly towards me - no respect, no care, no love. The irony is that she is exceedingly respectful, loving and caring of her parents and siblings. She is also generally respectful of elders. I frequently tell her, "you speak to me and act in ways you would never speak to your youngest sibling or to even a stranger on the street, yet this is what you give 'your husband' " . her response is that I should not mention her "family". Indeed, she even says that my mentioning of her family to make that point is "disrespectful" of her family.

I just followed this through. I am seriously concerned for you. However, I have 3 questions for you but please understand that my question is out of concern and to find a way of helping if I can.
1. Do you still have regular intimacy with her?
2. Although, you are into a personal business and facing hard times, are you interested in working in organisations (I can help if you have the right qualification in my sector). If it works, this may help solve your financial problems. I HATE DISHONESTY!
3. You sound like a genuine believer in distress - ARE YOU BORN AGAIN?

Gazilion

kokolet007:
Thanks bro! Really appreciate ur post, its really inspiring and I will keep the advices to heart!

I pray God opens your heart to find out THE TRUTH before it's too late!

Caracta:
My Dad decided to teach my mum after pleading with him for a long time. They went out together with the intention of having an INTENSE training session. In fact, they packed lunch and drinks. Only for my dad to come back after two hours without my mum. We asked him where she was. He paused for few minutes, then said, "She ran out of the car...that woman! She can't learn. She was screaming as she drove...making sounds like she was playing a video game."

Now my mum is a good driver. My brother did a good job afterwards.

I almost woke up my entire family while laughing...this got me laughing so hard....God bless you.

Ishilove: Jeeze. Can you please tell us?

Ishilove, he said it's from intimate to cruelty! That's all.

OKDnigeria: Object was a dictator, GEJ is a Democrat! That's d difference

I love Jonathan...only if he could develop the heart of a Lion and stop being intimidated but use some people as example of tough leadership...I believe dudes in his govt. will sit up.

Majesty2OA: The best and only legacy of this GEJ's administration is their brazzen and open corruption of the highest order as never seen in any democracy, strikes, unemployment, deceit, insecurity, etc.

I agree there is corruption in this government like any past civilian administration but what I won't take away from the Jonathan's administration is his civility and acceptance of both constructive and abusive criticisms.

Jonathan's personality depicts him as a good gentleman but governing a country like Nigeria requires a leader who will not only bite when it is necessary but who can both bite and tear as an example to would be transgressors.

I remember when I was in primary 4 and my parents had just given their lives to Christ a couple of years earlier in Deeper Life Bible Church. We the children joined them and I basically grew up and was tutored in Deeper Life. I prayed earnestly one night and innocently asked God for 3 things!
The first was that he should wake me up at 4.am in the morning to pray before my parents or any one in the house wakes up.
Secondly, he should tell me who to marry when I am of age to get married (funny) and lastly, he should let me meet the lady in the university. These are 3 innocent and honest requests to God. I was in primary 4!

After the prayer, I slept off. At exactly 4.am, someone came to where I was sleeping, tapped me twice on my legs and asked me to stand up and pray. I woke up and he's become invisible. I didn't see the person and everyone else was deeply asleep. In my little innocent mind, I just knew that God answered my prayers and had woken me up to fellowship with him.

The second requests was also answered cos' something just told me the name of the wife I will marry. I don't know how I knew her name but I just wrote it down without knowing her or seeing her and the name had been on mind as I grew up. Then I got admission into UNN and the name began to ring louder in my mind and heart but I couldn't find any Christian sister in the fellowship who bears that name until I graduated. However, when I went further to do my masters at the Manchester University in the UK. The same year, I told God I was ready to get married and by divine appointment, I met this immaculate and lovely lady whose name is exactly as I've known. The moment I saw her, there was no doubt in my mind...I just knew this is the LADY - MY WIFE.

We got married in Deeper Life Bible church, Ayobo..years ago and it's been very blissful and fruitful. Her testimonies too are very unique.

Lesson:
Teach your children to pray early...the prayers they pray when they are kids, will yield fruit for them in adulthood...Those prayers are prayed in honesty and innocence.

Shalom

gazilion

wizkidayodeji: Portrait painting of Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan by Ayeola Ayodeji.

https://awizzy.net/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/06/president-goodluck-painting-by-ayeola-ayodeji-awizzy-low-res.jpg

Other Artworks by Ayeola Ayodeji.

well done...good artwork...

Ishilove: Hian. Iriri aye.

Ebuetor, you definitely have a very strong gift which God will reveal its purpose, in time to come.

My own experience is something I have NEVER told anyone.

I was about 7 or 8 years old when my folks took me to my aunts place to spend the summer holidays. My aunts husband worked late most nights but when returning home, he always bought pastries for the kids to enjoy. So this particular night when he came home he told us that he didn't buy anything because he was too tired to branch to the shop to get them. I was disappointed, but was also convinced that maybe he was playing games on us (he is a very jovial person) and most likely he had kept the pastries in his car. When we least expect it, he would go to fetch them from the vehicle and surprise us. I watched him as he dropped the car keys on top of the television set and go into the bathroom to bath. Being the impatient pastry lover that I was, I unlocked the door and went downstairs to the car parked outside. The time was around past 10pm.

When I got to the car, a blue coloured Volkswagen passat, I pressed my face on the window and tried to peer into the dark interior to see if I could catch a sight of the pastries. To my eternal befuddlement, I saw a lady inside the vehicle. The interior was dark so I couldn't see her face but I could sense her smiling. She said "How are you, smallie?" I replied, "fine, thank you ma". She now said "Oya go back inside, you are not supposed to be outside by this time."

I didn't argue with her. I quickly went back into the house, locked the door and sat down to wait for my uncle to finish bathing and go downstairs to meet his 'friend' in the car. To my shock, Uncle bathed, had dinner and went straight to bed. I didn't sleep throughout the night, wondering who she was. The following day which was a Saturday, Uncle stayed in bed till late morning without going downstairs to meet his 'friend'. I went back in the morning to check the vehicle but there was nobody there and the vehicle was locked.

Till date, I still wonder at what I saw in that vehicle.

@ Ishilove,
Looks like your uncle is being monitored by a spirit or most likely, spiritual spouse things!! Is he married now?

5minsmadness: When I was younger, I used to pray a lot. One day I was saying my rosary in mother's room. It was quiet and there was nobody around. I was really thinking of the words as I prayed. The next thing I heard a chorus praying along with me. I stopped and the chorus stopped. When I continued it continued again. So I stopped. Then I heard a voice saying that I shouldn't be shy that I was the one leading the prayers together. Then I saw I was kneeling in the centre of a very big corridor so high that I couldn't see the roof. On my left and right were angels, plenty of them standing row after row like you see in a football stadium. Some were smiling and others had their hands together and eyes closed and they were all waiting for me to continue.
I was like 'ah, me, I can't lead these ones in prayer oh! That am not worthy.Then the voice said they were not interested in whether I was worthy or not that I should lead the prayer and thyley would follow. So I finished the prayer and sang and they sang too and it was like my singing wasn't near thiwr own in beauty at all at all but they smiled and encouraged me.
After the prayer they clapped and cheered and suddenly I was back in my mom's room and I had tears running down my eyes.

That was a long time ago, when I remember it I don't know what to think but you can't convince me that there are no spiritual things because that was an awesome experience.

You were praying the ROSARY?

I do not know if this story is true but how come you (peteregwu) are too happy to easily copy and paste stories you have not really verified and know little or nothing about. Should someone else talk about your pastor (Lazarus Muoka) you will take to the sword!

As believers, we should be careful how we disseminate information that can scatter the flock and cast aspersion on the integrity of Men of God.

FYI, I am not a member of Christ Embassy and do not support their dressing or some of their teachings and lifestyle.

Weah96: Who are you?

I'm Gazilion...beyond billions...

Very Demonic!!

Leviticus 19:28- You shall not make any cuts on your body for the dead or tattoo yourselves: I am the LORD.

nora544: where in the bible it is written that you have to pay 20%

Are you a jewish!!!!!

Malachi is not for christians!

Even if I show you where it is written in the book of Leviticus, you still won't believe it. It is not for everyone please...leave those of us who do and are blessed to keep doing...I've never regretted paying my tithes...IT WORKS!

Yes if you must do but you Must pay back with a 20%. Don't make it a habit pls.

These are examples of some nice and great players who never went far...I won't call them a flop...

O Lord help me never to shine and stop but to keep shining till I die...Amen

1. James Obiora
2. Chris Onyemachara
3. Samuel Elijah
4. Garba Lawal
5. Taiwo Enegwea
6. Friday Elaho
7. Tunde Charity
8. Chris Ohenhen
9. Fatai Atere
10. Shola Ameobi - I'm not happy Keshi used Ameobi instead of Mba...Ameobi's patriotism smacks of hypocrisy only after he was rejected by England.
11. Chrisantus
12. Vanzekin
13. Chidi Nwanu - really didn't see much of him except in the US '94 games.
14. Wilson Oruma
15. Mobi Oparaku

Let me think again...

pls.

...And In Hell...He lifted up his eyes..being in torment....

I didn't school in Ife but was surprised one late evening a coaster bus full of OAU students came to the house opposite where we lived to arrest two brothers who were accused of cultism and complicity in the shooting at Ife. The two guys got a tip off earlier and scaled the fence of their house but their parents were caught and dragged into the bus by the students. One of the two brothers (don't want to mention names) read Geology and the other was in engineering. Their parents were a bit connected and their father was luckily released by police men at the Lagos Toll gate that night. That was the last time, we ever saw those two guys. I know they didn't complete their education in Ife. I learnt later they were sent to the US by their parents(can't confirm this pls). Their names were published in the Punch newspaper by police as being wanted for questioning in the cult shooting at Ife. I had finished my BSC then at UNN and came home for my NYSC!!

May the soul of the departed RIP.

I wish to add that the behaviour of the two brothers then, their licentious lifestyle and friends smacks of cultism. There's no way I could vouch for their innocence. When their names and pictures were published on the pages of the punch newspaper, no one on the entire street were surprised.


There is nothing good ...absolutely nothing good comes out of cultism!!

sorry...I just removed my comments..


thread is quite old..

asco15: But wait o, u hvn't given me any biblical verse that will stand against me on dat day if i lived a holy and righteous life as a chosen member.
Will God send me away because i am a chosen [2peter.2:9] even with my salvation in Christ Jesus?. Or will i be judged wit my pastor?.
Hv u ever read Ezek.18:20?
Beside u dn't tell me wat u saw dat made u left d ch, so shut up and work out ur own salvation wit fear and trembling.

@Asco15, God bless you for telling me to shut up! it's because I care but I've shut up sir.
I don't know how old you are but to give you a hint, I did my school cert in 1990!! Even, if you won't behave like a Christian, you can still be a gentleman.

ebuetor: while growing up my family knew i was different, very different. Knowing that i have the ability to see into details things that are and would be, i became ''their eye'', feeling used and experiencing the effect, i made my mind up to stop, ''tuning in'' to get ''information.'' much becos i felt i was being used.

Do most things you foretell come true in the lives of most people ? The part I don't understand is the part you said that you always feel tired and weak and being used after such experiences.

...well if the supreme court has refused to hear your case, please appeal to God!

ebuetor: gazilion thanks for your comment. Hmmmm....that all these things happened in the past, gave me the transformation, maturity , and proper insight i need in my spiritual life, rising to the peak of being a determined follower and believer of jesus christ being a grown man. So yes i am. Thankyou gaz

@Op thank God for your life. Do these experiences run in your family? or did anyone in your lineage had past similar experiences?

Heavensake: u started ur thread with"d unclad truth" and here u r telling pipl to pray 4 truth.
i'm waiting 4 a proof dat dis ur info is true.

Yes, because you don't believe this TRUTH then you pray and seek for it. The only other thing we are doing for our brothers & sisters (including my uncle) who are in the Lords Chosen is to pray for them. They are so zealously ignorant.

@ebuetor, I understand what you are saying. I know the spiritual world is even more real than the physical and most things that manifest physically are mostly a confirmation of spiritual activities. The bible said, "that though we walk in the flesh, we war not after the flesh but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of darkness of this world and against SPIRITUAL WICKEDNESS in heavenly places." I've prayed for people before who had spiritual issues and their experiences sometimes could make a feeble mind afraid.

However, in all these things, as a child of God and because the weapons of our warfare are not carnal..., we are more than conquerors through Jesus Christ. Be very prayerful and always plead the blood of Jesus.

Ebuetor, Are you born-again?

You mean no one sent you to do a work of =N= 200,000? And you took someone else's pictures without his permission, went ahead and did enlargement/framing and blackmail him to pay such amount some days later!! I don't understand how u reason and why you think you should be pitied.

Mind you, I'm not a member of his church but you were wrong. The best thing you should do is to pray, plead and accept whatever is given to you. The pastor cannot be compelled to give you back the pics. It is his pics and he never solicited for it.

We are covered by the blood of Jesus. Though these things exists God has given us victory over them all. We are more than conquerors.

asco15: i wonder how people believe in confessions and revelations more than the bible.
It can only believe in my bible, as long as my pastor's preaching didn't contradict d bible, i will believe him. because God will nt judge me by d words of judith or linda but by His words written in d bible.

The best you guys can do is to also pray fervently and unbiasedly using the name of the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Pray without using the name of the god of Chosen or the god of my pastor's power. God will answer a sincere prayer.