₦airaland Forum

save some of the money for baby stuff just in case you need them

IYA NGBALI:
from tipper garage in nyanyan abuja[b] this is gew reporting for nairaland [/b]

are u a client of the place?

Realtors:
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call; 07056406550

`great NL getting better

wbb

demoly:
(a) A Filling station at Olorunsogo area along Ibadan/Lagos express way asking price N60m Negotiable (b) A Filling station at Iwo road area along Ibadan/Lagos express way asking price N60m Negotiable (c) An uncompleted bungalow building at Boluwaji area, very close to Lagos/Ibadan expressway asking price N2m. Call 08060121301

60m for a petrol station in naija?

yeye fowl

Seun:
You are doubly unqualified to run a business in Nigeria:
1) You don't have enough experience of surviving in Nigeria
2) You don't have any experience of running a business

Your money is probably safer in the country where you earned it.

is this papa arugbo talking? seun don old o.

nice advice though.

3doorsdown:
@Saridon
Seun is correct. DO NOT under any circumstance part with your money, especially to these people on this forum telling you to call them or to buy an ebook from them. DO NOT give them a cent of your money. To come and start a business in Naija is a good idea, but in your case, you need to come back to Naija and spend sometime,look around, get a feel of the place and the people. Trust me, a lot has changed since you left. Then find a field you have passion for, begin to study it in the nigerian context. See if you can work in that field for a few months to learn the ropes properly. At this point you'll begin to see where to put your money, but do not invest all your money in anything all at once. And btw, if and when you come back, DO NOT tell anybody that you have any money to invest, keep that info to yourself. DO NOT trust anyone. I'm speaking from personal experience. I too lived in US for 15 years before I came back. Unfortunately for me, I learnt the hard way. PLEASE dont make the same mistake. Good Luck!

nice one.

oge4real:
A power couple comprise of those who have contirbuted to the lives of those around them, and are rich or famous independent of thier spouse.
Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt (Brangelina) for instance,are seen as America's power couple.
Since most of our famous people marry less famous spouses, can we then say we do not have power couples in Nigeria?
I think Fela and Tara Durotoye; Joke Silva and Olu Jacobs;Sonni and Betty Irahbor are examples of Nigerian power couples.
What do you think?

it would be nice if you credit source cos i have seen this some where last week.

[quote author=~Sissy~ link=topic=322736.msg4532847#msg4532847 date=1252791931]at least no more beatings and pounding [/quote]should be beating himself in hell now

nellaluv:
Why would dy arrest her. She didn't kill d man, He killed himself b'cos of 50 box.

that is nigeria for you. the NPF must collect bribe from her

how can you let your bros miss a great sexpert like her? why not arrange to keep her in the family.

Ebonyeyes:
There you go, your bro aint that innocent himself. Both as bad as eachother IMO. Hope you tell your future sister inlaw your bro used to pay for sex

there is no excuse for the battalion of hookers that most nigerian girls have become. lets not talk about the men today becos you dont expect anything different from people whose brains are between their legs.

[quote author=frank3.16 link=topic=322656.msg4529826#msg4529826 date=1252752805]do you still like the cloths u bought 6months ago now the way u love them when u bought them?

your girlfriend should better think of way to rekindle her husband's love instead of worrying about some stupid condum[/quote]u will sing same song if it was the woman?

[size=21pt]Life, so cheap[/size] [size=15pt]Man dies fighting wife over N50[/size]
[size=17pt]senseless anger[/size]
•
By Vincent Ukpong Kalu
Saturday, September 12, 2009

The high poverty level and excruciating hardship in the country re-echoed last Saturday at Iyankatan Street, Kuje Amuwo, when a young man of 28, Austin Anthony, died while beating his wife, Grace over N50 feeding money.

Austin was a factory hand at a sachet water producing company. He lost his job when the company closed shop because of unfavourable business climate. Austin recently got another job as security guard in one company at Monkey Village, Kirikiri.

Grace is nursing a baby of about four month old.
The anaemic frames of Grace and her baby reveal that they are passing through unbearable hardship.

Her marriage with Austin is what is called 'Lagos marriage', that is, a relationship between two consenting male and female adults who because of accommodation or other social pressures start living together as husband and wife and procreate. The marriage is usually for convenience and the strings of love may not be attached to it.

In this case of Austin and Grace, neither of the couple knew the relations of the other.
The deepest they knew about each other was that the late husband knew his wife is from Ishan in Edo State while the wife knew that her husband was from Agbor in Delta State.

The pigsty makeshift one-room plank house on a swampy environment where they live measures less than 6ft by 8ft with a mattress on the floor and clothes hanging on the walls and kitchen utensils on the floor will make one shed tears over the level of hardship in town.

Trouble was said to have started last Saturday morning when Austin started querying his wife on what she did with the N50 he left. His wife's explanation that she used it to buy milk for herself and the baby didn't go down well with Austin and he started beating her.
According to the neighbours, Austin was in the habit of beating his wife over frivolous and little misunderstanding.

On that fateful day, Saturday, he inflicted wounds on his wife while beating her. Her lady ran out to avoid more punishment. The back was lacerated as a result of the beating.
Austin slipped and fell while trying to grab her. At first, neighbours thought he fainted and tried to revive him to avail. He instantly passed on.

From where the wife had gone to take cover, she was said to have sent emissaries to entreat her husband for forgiveness.

The people returned to tell her that the music had changed and her husband had died. Since their relationship was the type made in Lagos, how to get in touch with the relations of the deceased and that of his wife became another tough task.

The police arrested Grace with her four-month-old baby and they are now in the homicide section of the State Criminal Investigation Department, Panti, Yaba.

http://sunnewsonline.com/webpages/features/living/2009/sept/12/living-12-09-2009-001.htm

wbb

Ebonyeyes:
Nope at the moment they should all be shoving the shit they bring out back into their asses

mmmmmmmm SAD

[quote author=frank3.16 link=topic=320518.msg4508824#msg4508824 date=1252486398]I am very much aware of the pain you are going through, infact when i read your post i almost feel your emotions.

sorry to say this, i am still very sure that there is another side to this story. and the solution to your problem for now and in future lies there.

First i dont encourage all this virgin stuff because, weather we like it or not, early (Sexual) experiences help us handle future relationships, especially if one is well guided as he/she indulges in it.
Your ignorance at 26! was where your problem started.

to me, Austin was way much too mean to an innocent inexperienced girl like u and this does not sound reasonable.

i promise you that even people like Hitler had good reasons to why he decided to kill so much jews during his time(i am not justifying his action)

Are you Jesus Christ? Even the treatment you explain he gave u is almost more than what Jesus Christ experienced.

Just like that, out of the blue Austin who loves u and is ready to marry you, denies his own child? Lied to his people about you? and leaves town, oh please.

perhaps u did something very wrong out of ignorance, but may i know what lie he lied about you that led to your dad's death and that led to his people rejecting their unborn baby. why would he go through the stress of cooking up such lie when you are obviously of no threat to him? when u did nothing to deserve it. Please listen to urself

If you are as innocent as you say, then I believe you are destined for something that is far greater than you can imagine [/quote]stop trying to justify the inexcusable. i feel you are either not nigerian or you never lived in nigeria becos you are pretending this is the first time you ever heard a wicked foolish nigerian boy doing this type of thing when we know it is common in every corner of nigeria for people to try avoid responsibilities.

what wrong could she possibly have done done?

i have lived long enough to know that he just bought himself a life of hardship and failure by this single act. he may be religious enough to deceive himself he can pray his way out of wicked acts like this but i can tell you nigeria and the world is littered with failures like him who are not able to show anything for thier existence.

be very sure you reap whatever you sow. watch what you sow. there is always harvest time.

when you go out creating hardship for a defenceless young child be sure his or angels will make it their duty to frustrate you too. you dont know anything that is why you defend wicked acts like this

sweetbee:
@ Gew' im entitled to my opinion

nice one. why do you think jenny is not entitked to her views?

sweetbee:
@ poster im sure u re a matured guy pls act like and u common sense that God gave u.

@ amebo 1 ' u talk too much and i dont agree with ya views anyway your name suits u

frecklesnz:
From living with my husbands family in Nigeria.  I was able to see that my darling husband treated me much better than his brothers treated their wives.   Ha ha ha ha what a naive fool I was.  His father had three wives.  His senior brother cheated on his wife and didn't pay for the children's schooling spending all his money in clubs. But was taken back to the house and the family.  His junior brother had a local wife who lived at the house but wasn't allowed to bring her belongings so it was said they were not married.  But my darling was kind and sweet and helped me to cope with the unusual foods and the excessive heat.   

Now he has his visa he is visiting a Nigerian woman in Auckland who thinks she may be pregnant for him and has more than 20 other girls around the world and in Nigeria all thinking they are the only one. 

I was in Nigerian for 6 months all up and have not seen one marriage where the husband and wife were equals.  Shouting and fists were always flying.   The only peace came when a man was telling and the wife was obeying.  Yet all the woman are hiding money in their wraps and in pots cupboard and squirrelling away money as men are so greedy.

Men are handing out money 100 naira at a time and yelling at children to run and buy tomatoes and peppers.  Buy me drinks do this do that .  My nephew his first words were "Ill beat you."

Well

To all you Naija men out there.  We are all equal before God and if you want a marriage to work learn to SHOW true love as the bible says and its not with words but in deeds.  If you want a woman to obey then show love if she feels safes he will obey.

[size=14pt]Niaija Girls.  Look at the fathers.  Before you marry look very carefully at the father of the man.  If he is kind and gentle to his family then you may have a chance. But if he is shouting at the kids and the wife the son will do likewise in a few years.  [/size]

Leilah I was so relieved to see you had sent him packing.  I wish you luck because you are really going to need it. 

He has bad behaviour deep in his bones.  It will come back again and now you are tied to him financially. 

My heart goes out to you.

thanks pls add naija boys/men to your advice becos sadly some women are heartless and calous as the men we breed. especially the signs and wonders religious ones who are mostly the more you look the less you know.

bridget007:
@ touchmeder, yes it was sad, all true, I tried so hard but when someone cannot see any flaws or wrongdoings in their own behaviour and expectations it is doomed. i have never tried so hard to make it work, but inevitably I was only hurting my children and me, because he didn't care.

I am heartbroken but over it because he doesn't deserve me. I do know though that not all nigerian men are like that because I have met some very honourable and kind nigerian men. It is very easy when you are with someone that is so different to you to generalise and stigmatise all nigerians, I know though that it isn't the case.

Leila, I am sorry, your husband makes you do things you don't want to do, calls you names for losing your job and ultimately has no respect for you. A man who loves you, supports you in good and bad times and would never do or say anything that makes you feel bad or is not encouraging. Your husband has the best of both worlds, you when he wants you and anything he wants outside whenever he feels like it. I've seen this, he starts an argument, blames it on you and then he feels justified doing whatever or whoever outside-in is head its your fault and therefore does not trouble his conscience. That's how it works so any bad he does is your fault-you caused it, you will never ever win with a man like that, I know, don't put up with him, you can do better. No one deserves to be treated so shabbilly.

Wish you well, and in all honesty he does sound gay, with his anal fetish and the bleeding anus. I know what my ex thought of gays, he even said if our son ever turned gay he would immediatley disown him. I bet your husband is a closet homosexual because of attitudes like this. He married you as a cover to prove he is a 'real' man. Leila, it took me a long time to wake up and smell th coffee, WAKE UP GIRL.

I still love my ex, but I'm happy now, I can do what I want, don't have to be knocked down and put down all the time, can see who I want, go where I want, spend my money on whatever I like and don't have to put up with his farting, stinking arm pits, terrible mouth odor due to smoking sh*t, nagging, and having a man around that only talks to criticise and call me, never is romantic or intimate and never takes me anywhere. Ultimately life with him was a boring, uninteresting, unexciting pile of crap. I now have goals and dreams of my own for me and my children and I will meet them. I have many more friends, a better social life, more hobbies, travel more, a better job and look forward to pampering myself without feeling guilty. I have a beautiful home, excellent career prospects that may even take me to move to a part of the country I have always wanted to live in and I am being a little bit selfish for once as I am saving up for Mercedes SLK, which I hope to get next year. I care and support financially for the children (5 children) all myself as their fathers do everything they can not to pay(first husband actually gave up his job rather than pay!!!!). Am I bothered? NO, I am capable and if i have to I will do it alone.

Do it,

so every marriage should go wrong so they can get their fare share of SLK's?

you are so funny.

leilah, get on with your life. i told u this guy is a jerk but u kept deceiving yourself he is such a lovely arse pumping fool. ok he has got what he wanted you for and behaved like a typical short sighted nigerian that he is. he is likely to be praying now God goes temporarily blind to this wickedness.

someone said here there other day inter racial marriages dont work which i disagree with cos it is people like this jerk using people and dumping them after papers that fuel tthe statistics. thankfully you dont have a child for this wicked soul.

learn your lesson and avoid another man like him like a plague next time so you dont get jilted again.

miracle and healing are possible for those that believes in them. your question should be are there no imams and their healers in nigeria?

the man is a mole so he will never go for any healing meetings organised by any man of God.

deal o dele. that wont stop the people ruining the place and their kids sponsoring ovation would it now?

w

sweetbee:
im actually disappointed with d women who said the husband should disregard the wife nd go for the wedding. having gone thru labour pain i know what difference it makes when the hubby is there,  wat if its her first time in labour, she needs the encouragement of her hubby for her the push d baby out and wat if there was complications and they needed the man to sign papers urgently? i bet most women on this panel would raise hell if they were to be in this situatn.

forget emotions and sentiments for 1 minute and try read  ms yaba right or left, chaircover and ify's write-up on this again.  this lady need more than her husband to run a happy marriage.

sweetbee:
@ poster  im sure u re a matured guy pls act like and u common sense that God gave u.

@ amebo 1 ' u talk too much and i dont agree with ya views anyway your name suits u

dont get personal with this.  she is not an in law here she is only talking for the sane minority. this is a public forum we cant all posibly agree on everything.  try not take somethings here personal. chaircover is one of the safest sensible woman on NL when you see amebo and her singing from the same hymn sheet you better join the choir unless you want to remain the same.  changing our mind set is a very difficult thing to do but change you must unless you like the results you are getting at the moment.

chaircover:
I repeat my question

How did our mothers and grandmothers cope?

How do all those women whose husbands are in military service, widows and other women in varius other circumstances cope without their husbands at their bedside when they go into labour? Lets spare a thought for single 16 & 17 year olds etc who find them selves on thier own after a teenage pregnancy? What about women who were raped and dont know the father of their babies?

Ideally a woman will want her husband at the birth but if he cant make it is it the end of the world?

It works both ways and their should be compromise by both parties; not one happy wife and one resentful husband especially if the wife doesnt eventually deliver on the wedding day.

The compromise on both sides should be the husband attending the wedding but on a day trip returning to his wife ASAP after the wedding.

[quote author=,amebo no1 link=topic=273831.msg3950286#msg3950286 date=1243693460]thats why i sad we should only sacrifice things for people that are only important to us


anyways back to my qstion, if it was an assignment dat will take him out for 1 month, will she and will u advice him to stay back?

thank you, too much sentiments is attached to this thingy silly, dats why i asked if she will allow him go if it is an official assignment

my immediate family comes first after God, but sometimes the immediate family should be fair enough and sacrifice for other people

your husband is your life, someone dat will stay with u till thy kingdom come, sacrificing a day out of 365 days in the calender for a friend who made your wedding a success by being the best man in your time, is not too much to ask


she has a family ,someone can come stay with her for just one day

seriously its a one day thingy not a year

haba women, haba
[/quote]madam jenny, you cant help yourself when you know you are right can you? some people brew trouble and put their head first in it.

[quote author=frank3.16 link=topic=320518.msg4502953#msg4502953 date=1252410283]everyone is pitying you and all that but i dont understand why a man who have gone to the extent of seeing your parents and fixing a date to pay your bride price and even intoducing u to his people should deny his baby. wasnt he expecting to have a child after he marries you.

I am very sorry but i think there is more to this story that you are telling us. Austins action must have been triggered by something you are not telling us. ok, why should his parents support him despite them liking you, seeing you as a' good girl' and all that.

something else must have lead to your dads death, look this story is obviously far deeper that u are telling.

being a virgin does not make u a good girl. Austin to take such an action on u make me question the kind of prson u actually are.[/quote]wickedness is your middle name. this is the kind of things so many callous nigerians like you do daily without thinking of the consequences. you wonder why your educated uncles are in state of pity at 50something. this are the kind of aborminations they did to some young girls and tot they got away with.

i feel you have blue blood running inside you to say something like this. what do people do in nigeria for any one to take advantage of them? this is the first girl you have seen a nigerian fool take advantage of?

i hope you are not busy creating your own sets of more to it victims out there

chic2pimp:
Naija peeps and their obssesion with obama*shakes his head*. Obama dis,Obama dat. Every topic on NL somehow has to be connected to OBAMA. Na wa oo.

will using a clinton make you feel better?

[quote author=Aloy~Emeka link=topic=320076.msg4494132#msg4494132 date=1252279618]Since when? [/quote]

MrCrackles:
I wonder oooo!

will they allow the state govt to count them as part of the state and the federal govt duly compensate the state accordingly?

it is one thing to come to a state, use its facilities then go back when the census time comes as most of these people do in nigeria.

the governor must have his reasons unless he is evil and wicked

topup:
Hi,

I want you to know that you were not singled out, your story is not rare, but it is unique.

I know that I am against abortion and I am sure the baby is very much due soon, since I doubt all this happened a month ago.

I want you to keep hope and faith, both in God and in yourself, never expect God to make all your decisions for you, as he has given you wisdom which you are free to use. From stories like this, I know that I will never sleep with my fiance, never, not until we are married.

I just want to say that this pain is great but believe me, I know women who are married with children to men who threathen their lives and they live unhappily, but for the sake of the children and the pretence of a perfect union.

I want you to accept what has done and not to dwell on the bad choice of mate, after all he 'respected' the fact that you were a virgin, but then slept with you before marriage, I mean, I'm not sure which part you played in that, but that was a sin also, I know you have been a 'good' girl like you said, but being a good person goes far much more beyond keeping your virginity. Becoming one of God's favoured children takes much more than not sleeping around. I am not judging any religious commitments you may or may not have had, I am merely saying that what has happened has happened, your goal should be forgiving yourself.

He was cruel, so cruel he had to run away.

Most people learn their lessons through heartbreak from simple relationships, but it seems to me that this might have been your first major relationship, he took you for a ride.

I mean people are always warning us about how women are so cynical and sceptical of men these days, doesn't this serve as an example? Well, I believe that you will not make the same mistake again.

Okay, the child, it all depends on you, what you believe you should do, you should listen to your heart and use your God given wisdom, after all we are humans and we rarely know the perfect or even right answer.

If you have decided to keep the baby, you might like to move with your family for now, it is so embarassing to our culture how a woman in your position can be looked upon so shamefully yet, all those video women are looked at as being attractive and sexy, independent & modern women. You no longer have anything to be ashamed about, he should be ashamed, maybe it's because he is not there to be ashamed that the emotion has been transfered to you.

If you have the baby, he/she now becomes your priority, and he should not be a child of burden, maybe your mother could help you look after your baby. You are not the only woman who this has happened to, leave justice to God, you needn't place a curse on the guy (considering you are a true believer of justice through the end means - God).

In time, all the awful deeds that man has done will catch up with him.
You're in my prayers. . .

What are your biggest worries right now??

you are a very unique person. i bless God for your life upon remembering you. you are the kind of young girl every woman prays for her son.  may God bless you and the womb that produced you.  always a breath of fresh air and original in this copy cat world.

@ OP, so sorry another idiot did this to you. i dont know why nigerians do things like this and think they can pray or wish the consequenses away. God will catch up with him and probably end up as one the frustrated nigerians abroad. his evil will follow him where ever he goes so dont bother cursing him becos he has already cursed himself trying to produce a fatherless kid.

the child could be the next governor or president of nigeria. just be strong. apologise to yourself and God and accept forgiveness then move on with your life. we all fall but get up again. there are loads of single parents doing well in life. it is never the end of the world. the people you think are laughing have greater battles they are struggling with too so relax.

may God have mercy and help you through and please please whatever you do dont add to your sins by killing a child especially your own child. you dont want to carry the burden all your life. this is a trial hope you let it build you and not destroy you.

catholics must have a counselling service that you can utilise or use any church counselling service. God is ever ready in times of trouble like this.

aysometin:
You are alllowed to hold the 2 passports!!

My British P states my POB as Ibadan and I have a Nigerian Passport as well!!

When u are leaving UK, you use the Nigerian P, on your way back you use the British one!!

It is cheaper to have a Nigerian P, rather than paying for Visas all the time.

you are right. it is always better to keep your naija passport.[quote author=chris_j link=topic=319875.msg4499708#msg4499708 date=1252358517]Thanks for reply. The issue is the place of birth - I was born in the UK and that is on my British passport.

If I go for a dual nationality passport in the UK then it will state that I was born in the UK. However, if I decide to get a Nigerian passport when I travel to Nigeria, I wonder whether I will need to put place of birth as UK. I fear it might complicate things and make getting the passport less straightforward.

It is not an issue of cost but time and the requirements in terms of guarantor that has to be a Nigerian passport holder and the person also has to sign an affidavit and declare wealth status etc. Dealing with the Nigeria High Commission in London is a pain![/quote]they are serious pain. many good for nothing people in that place. i have to take visa there for some people so i know the wahala they create.