Welcome, Guest: Register On Nairaland / LOGIN! / Trending / Recent / New
Stats: 3,156,705 members, 7,831,208 topics. Date: Friday, 17 May 2024 at 03:33 PM

Gnexplore's Posts

Nairaland Forum / Gnexplore's Profile / Gnexplore's Posts

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (of 8 pages)

Jokes Etc / Subject: 3: Hope They Make Ur Day! by Gnexplore: 2:35pm On Nov 03, 2010
Subject: 3, hope they make ur day!
A man out on the golf course takes a high-speed ball right to the crotch. Writhing in agony, he's taken to a doctor. "Can you fix it, Doc?" he asks. "I'm getting married on Friday. Can you give me something to get me through the ceremony?" The doctor tells him not to worry. He prescribes some painkillers, then makes a splint out of four tongue depressors, which he wires together to form a protective cage. Later that week the man gets married and he and his bride end up in the honeymoon suite. "You do realize I'm a virgin," says the girl. She opens her dress and exposes her breasts. "You'll be the first, no man has ever touched these before." "You think that's something?" replies the man, taking off his pants, "Look at this, it's still in its crate!"


A son from a poor family wins a million dollars in the lottery. He goes home and gives his old dad $100. The old man takes the cash and says, "Thanks, son. This money will mean a lot to me - we've never really had much in this family; we've always been poor, i couldn't even afford to marry your mother."
"What?" exclaims the son. "You mean, I'm a bastard?" "Yes," his father replies. "And a fucking cheap one, too!"


A doctor, an accountant and a biker are discussing anniversary presents. The doctor says, "I bought my wife a diamond ring and a new car. I figured if she didn't like the ring, she'd love the car. The accountant says, "I bought my wife a pendant and a speedboat. I figured if she didn't like the pendant, she'd love the speedboat." the biker says, "I bought my chick a T-shirt and a Love Machine. I figured if she didn't like the T-shirt, she could go Bleep herself!"
Jokes Etc / Subject: Fitness Center! by Gnexplore: 2:22pm On Nov 03, 2010
A man went to a fitness center because he is over weight he entered the place and met the information counter,

"good morning " the man said,
"good morning , how can i help you ? " replied the counter guy

" I've problem in my weight, i need to get rid of it so i came to your center " replied the man

" oh, you have came to the right place, we have two kinds of loosing weight, fast way and slowly way, which one you want to try?" said the counter

"well, i am not in a hurry so i will start with slow way" replied the man

he was taken to a room and locked inside, then a hot naked girl came after lights went on, the girl said " welcome to the slow way, take off your clothes please. and soon he became naked.
then the girl said,

the slowly way is, " i will run and if u catch me, you can screw me!" said the girl

he said " nice idea " then he started running after her inside the room, after 30 min he was tired and couldn't move neither catch the girl.
he went back to the counter saying, " that's doesn't worth it, I'm going to change to the fast way " the man said

he was taken naked to a room again and locked inside it, a dark room, then light went on, he saw a Huge naked bodybuilder guy with 12" cock naked in front of him.

the bodybuilder said " welcome to the fast way, you have to run and if i catch you am going to screw you, so RUN!!! "
Jokes Etc / Just One Victory & A Lift To Town! by Gnexplore: 4:41pm On Oct 28, 2010
Everyone who does not want to be part of joke therapy anymore please look at the bottom left corner on the group's page there's an option to leave the group please don't post it on the wall rather inbox me a request to leave.
Now that that is done hope you like this evening's entertainment!

Just one victory
A certain couple loved to compete with each other, comparing their achievements in every aspect of their lives: salaries, athletic abilities, social accomplishments, and so on. Everything was a contest, and the husband sank into a deep depression because he had yet to win a single one.

Finally he sought professional counsel, explaining to the shrink that while he wouldn't mind losing once in a while, his unbroken string of defeats had gotten him pretty down. "Simple enough. All we have to do is devise a game which you can't possibly lose."

The shrink thought for a moment, then proposed a pissing contest. "Whoever can pee higher on the wall wins- and how could any woman win?"

Running home, the husband called upstairs, "Darling, I've got a new game!"

"OOOH, I love games," she squealed, running down the stairs. "WHAT IS IT?"

"C'mon out here" he instructed, pulling her around to the patio. "We're going to stand here, piss on the wall, and whoever makes the highest mark wins."

"What fun! I'll go first." The woman proceeded to lift her dress, then her leg, and pee on the wall about six inches from the ground. She turned to him expectantly.

"Okay, now it's my turn," said the husband eagerly. He unzipped his fly, pulled out his penis, and was just about to pee when his wife interrupted.

"Hang on a sec," she cried out. "NO HANDS ALLOWED!"

A LIFT To TOWN!

This English gentleman was driving his Roller through wild Wales,

When all of a sudden this chap called Dai (for it was he) jumps out into the middle of the single-track road brandishing a 12 bore shotgun and pointing it directly at Fotherington-Smythe. F-S screeched to halt. A year's worth of rubber on the Roller's tires burned in a couple of seconds.

Dai gestures with the barrel of the gun that F-S should wind down the window. F-S does not feel like arguing.

"W, w, what do you want?" asks F-S.

"Masturbate!" says Dai.

"What? Here and now?" Asks F-S incredulously.

"Aye, aye, and be quick about it" replies Dai, waving the barrel of the aged shotgun an inch from F-S' right ear.

After F-S had filled his hanky he asked "Now what?"

"Masturbate!" says Dai.

"What? Again?" asks F-S.

"Aye, aye, and be quicker about it" replies Dai, waving the barrel of the aged shotgun closer to F-S' right ear.

Comes the time when F-S asks again "Now what?"

"Masturbate!" says Dai.

"What? Again?" asks F-S.

"Aye, aye, and be quicker again" replies Dai, poking the barrel of the aged shotgun against F-S' earlug.

This went on for quite a while until F-S finally implored "I can't. I can't. I've got nothing more to offer. Anything, anything else, please, don't expect me to do that again for a fortnight, please ask me to do something else".

"Oh. Ok then." says Dai "you can now give my daughter a lift into town, "
Properties / What Could Go Wrong? by Gnexplore: 10:10am On Oct 25, 2010
Please, what is pity falls (could go wrong ) that one can meet in building a house, while living in Europe.
am planning to start building a house in Nigeria and will like to hear from those who have carried out such project successfully.
what could go wrong?
and how can I mitigate against them?
Jokes Etc / Surrogate by Gnexplore: 10:03am On Oct 25, 2010
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate
father to start their family. On the day the surrogate father was to
arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said, "I'm off. The man should be
here soon" Half an hour later, just by chance a door-to-door baby
photographer rang the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning, madam. I've come to, "
"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.
"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good. I've made a speciality of
babies"
"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"

After a moment, she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the
couch and perhaps a couple on the bed. Sometimes the living room floor is
fun too; you can really spread out!"
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me"
"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But, if we
try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different
angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results"
"My, that's a lot of, " gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in
and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure"
"Don't I know it," Mrs. Smith said quietly.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his
baby pictures.
"This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London"
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well, when you consider their
mother was so difficult to work with"
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job
done right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get
a good look"
"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement.
"Yes," the photographer said, "And for more than three hours too. The
mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate.
Then darkness approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the
squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean squirrels actually chewed on your,
um, equipment?"
"That's right. Well, madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so we
can get to work."
"Tripod??"
"Oh yes, I have to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for
me to hold for very long. Madam? Madam? , Good Lord, she's
fainted!!"
Jokes Etc / Wave The Towel! by Gnexplore: 10:02am On Oct 25, 2010
Subject: wave the towel!
An old man marries a much younger woman. However, no matter what he tries, he can never bring her to orgasm.

He goes to a sex therapist and tells him his problem.

"What you've got to do is encourage your wife to fantasize," says the therapist.

"Hire a young man to stand at your bedside and get him to wave a towel while you have sex."

Though puzzled, the old man agrees to give it a go.

He hires a young bodybuilder to stand over the couple the next time they have sex.

The bodybuilder stands by waving a towel but still the wife won't orgasm.

The old man goes back to the therapist, who suggests the old man and the bodybuilder swap positions.

That night the bodybuilder and the wife have sex while the old man stands at the bedside waving the towel.

In a very short time the wife has a series of earth-shattering orgasms.

"Hah!" shouts the old man, slapping the bodybuilder's butt.

"Now THAT'S how you wave a fucking towel!"

1 Like

Jokes Etc / Subject: ☺/captain Experience/☻ by Gnexplore: 10:02am On Oct 25, 2010
Subject: ☺/Captain Experience/☻
The morning after an all-night honeymoon
expert virtuoso performance in bed, the
somewhat amazed but blissfully happy
newlywed wife snuggles up to her new
hubby and says, "Darling, you are just
wonderful. Last night was simply amazing.
May I ask how many others were there
before me?"
After a few moments of silence, the wife
becomes a little testy and says, "Come on, I
know there must have been some - I'm
waiting."
And "Captain Experience" takes a deep
breath and says, "Hang on sweetheart, I'm
still counting."
Hope it made u smile, have a wonderful day
Jokes Etc / Subject: Vasectomy by Gnexplore: 10:00am On Oct 25, 2010
Subject: Vasectomy
After having their 11th child, an Alabama couple decided that was enough (they could not afford a larger doublewide). So, the husband went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more children.

The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the problem. The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10.

The Alabamian said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me."

So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed that they were from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear and count to 10.

Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count.

"1, 2, 3, 4, 5 . . . . ", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand.
Education / Re: How Can I Do A Master's With A 3rd Class ? by Gnexplore: 5:44pm On Oct 21, 2010
it dont matter where you are coming from

only be sure where you are going and be ready to pay the price.

apply for pgd, then masters , before long it will be over!!!
Properties / Re: Cost Of Building A House In Nigeria by Gnexplore: 5:33pm On Oct 21, 2010
Please can some good gentleman, tell me the estimate of building two bed room flat in Enugu.
From foundation to roofing
Family / Re: 1 by Gnexplore: 6:29pm On Oct 20, 2010
Are there kids involve in this marriage?

if yes! , Think very well oooooooooooo!!!

make black gal no turn your head, just like that!!!

if the white chick no do u anything bad, then you most be seeing things thro coloured glass.

meanwhile, look in the mirror and you find who will help u most grin

abi they cook something give U for village grin grin grin grin grin grin
Sports / Re: Nigeria's Amos Adamu Offer To Sell Fifa Hosting Rights For £500,000 by Gnexplore: 2:18pm On Oct 18, 2010
OMG! why , o! Why?

These ABOKIS dey disgrace this country anyhow grin grin angry tongue lipsrsealed lipsrsealed kiss cry smiley

Last year Dec na Farook Abdulmutallab!

Now Amos Adam!

, 9ja BRAND worth is almost zero!  cry cry cry cry cry cry cry cry
Politics / Re: 'In Defence Of Life And Property' - Jonathan's Message On Facebook by Gnexplore: 9:03am On Oct 08, 2010
With due respect sir!

Is it in the best interest of Nigeria BRAND, that you should use FACEBOOK platform!

Is there no website for Jonathan 2011, Aso Rock Villa or what ever??

FGN should have a website where it should communicate Nigerians and the world.

Facebook and youtube are important, but should be secondary medium.
Family / Why Should Somebody Wish His Or Her Marriage Partner Dead, L Am Just Wondering. by Gnexplore: 7:25am On Sep 30, 2010
What on earth could make a man or a woman to wish that his or her marriage partner of many years dead or be carried away by the kidnappers to free her from the marriage.



Few years back, in one local church, the Pastor asked all the widows in that church to stand up for recognition and prayers. One of the sisters who was sitting with the husband also stood up. The husband was surprised and called the attention of the wife to the fact that the Pastor asked only widows to stand up. The wife shrugged him aside and said that she heard the Pastor very well and told the husband to his face that he is a living dead.



In another development, a sister after a heated argument with husband wished the husband dead and prayed that he be carried away by the dare devil kidnappers.



In another scenario, a brother cursed the day he married the wife and later disappeared, abandoning the wife and relocated to another town.



Why should somebody wish his or her marriage partner dead, l am just wondering.
Foreign Affairs / How Indonesia Overtook Nigeria by Gnexplore: 1:22pm On Sep 28, 2010
How Indonesia overtook Nigeria
By Peter Cunliffe-Jones
Focus on Africa Magazine

A fear of popular revolt has kept Indonesia's leaders, even dictators, aware of the public mood
From the air, the place certainly looked familiar.

I had never before been to Jakarta, the chaotic and teeming capital of the sprawling Indonesian archipelago.

But, as the plane dodged in and out between the clouds, there it lay below. And just as I had been told it would, it looked like my former home - Nigeria.

"Indonesia and Nigeria?" I'd protested to the friend who first suggested the comparison to me some weeks earlier.

"They're 7,000 miles apart. One's Africa, one's Asia. There's no comparison to make."

It was late 2003, and I was flying in from Singapore - a smart, modern Asian city, now two hours behind me to the north. I'd just been appointed Asia editor for the AFP news agency, after four years as its Nigeria bureau chief.

Lagos, my former home, is Africa's megacity, the country's hustling, bustling, trading capital. It is noisy, sometimes violent but pulsing with life.

From its crowded waterfront districts to the low-rise slums inland, it hums with activity; people making deals, making money, taking a chance and just getting by.

Looking down out of the plane's window, I took in the airport below.

"Ok, so it looks like Lagos," I thought.



Then, emerging minutes later from the plane, I settled into my taxi for the long drive into the city centre.

When we stopped at a crossroads, crowds of noisy children emerged as they would in Nigeria to hawk their wares, offering us everything from spicy foods to soft drinks, typewriter covers to newspapers.

Both Indonesia and Nigeria, my guidebook told me, are the giants of their region, home to tens of millions of people. Both were formed as one nation by Europeans around 1900. Both were governed by the colonial system of "indirect rule". Both once made money from palm oil, and later discovered oil and gas.

At independence, the standards of living in the two countries were comparable on most measures. And since independence, both have suffered three decades of military misrule and corruption.

Their first coups were launched within months of each other - in September 1965 in Indonesia and in January 1966 in Nigeria - and their military regimes died within 12 months, in May 1998 and 1999.

It was not only my friend who made the comparisons. But, talking to the editor of an Indonesian magazine the day after I arrived, I was struck by a statistic he mentioned in passing. In Indonesia, he said, the life expectancy of a child at birth had risen from 45 to 70 years since independence.


In 1960, Nigeria produced almost half the world's palm oil, now it covers just 7%
In Nigeria, life expectancy remains stuck just above 45; today it is around 47.

This prompted me to check other figures.

When Indonesia's second president, Haji Muhammad Suharto, took power in 1967 the number of people living in poverty was the same as in Nigeria; around six out of ten. Three decades later, it had fallen from six to two. In Nigeria it had risen from six to seven.

And today, Indonesia lies almost 50 places above Nigeria on the United Nation's Human Development Index. Adult literacy stands at 92%, 20 points better than Nigeria. Per capita income, at close to $4,000, is almost twice that of Nigeria.

Basic healthcare is strikingly better in Indonesia, and the same is true for education. Access to clean water and a good balanced diet are better too.

Divided nation
Certainly, Indonesia has many troubles. But today, for all its problems, Indonesia is holding elections that the world applauds, while Nigeria's last elections, in 2007, were said to be the worst in Africa that year.

So why the discrepancy? The reasons most commonly given for the trouble with Nigeria - for its failure to meet its enormous potential as an African giant - are many and complex. They range from the legacy of colonial rule to the problems of a divided nation, and the impact of the so-called oil curse.

Continue reading the main story
Nigeria and Indonesia in figures

Life expectancy

Nigeria: Men, 47. Women, 48
Indonesia: Men, 69. Women, 73
Gross national income, per capita

Nigeria: $1,160
Indonesia: $2,010
Gross domestic product

Nigeria: $207.12 billion
Indonesia: $510.73 billion
Population below poverty line

Nigeria: 70%
Indonesia: 17.8%
Sources: UN, World Bank, CIA World Factbook

Nigeria was formed by Britain as two separate protectorates in 1900, and brought together as one in 1914.

Its close to 150 million people speak numerous languages, follow two major world religions and many more indigenous beliefs.

My own grandfather first arrived in Nigeria in the colonial days in 1928. Over the years, he rose to be part of the team negotiating independence in the 1950s.

The way he and his colleagues framed the constitution probably set the country on the path to civil war. But the comparison with formerly Dutch-ruled Indonesia shows that colonial rule is not reason enough to explain the state of things today.

Nor is a fractured society when a country as diverse as Indonesia can do as well as it has. And nor is oil, for Indonesia has that too but has managed its resource relatively well.

So what explains the difference between them? I asked a friend, Bambang Harymurti, an Indonesian journalist.

"Struggle is the reason," he suggested. Though the regime struck out at those who opposed it, Indonesians had put their leaders under pressure, he said.

Fearing revolt
While lining his pockets handsomely, amassing a family fortune estimated at up to $35 billion, Indonesia's Suharto had tasked his economic advisers with keeping him in power. What he feared most was a popular revolt.

Since the Dutch first colonised Indonesia, popular movements had always pressured their leaders. In the 1920s, a major revolt had broken out against the Dutch. The revolt failed, but it led to change.

Then between 1945 and 1949, the Islamist, communist and nationalist movements that had formed fought a bloody rebellion to force the Japanese and then the Dutch out of the colony. They succeeded.

So when Suharto took power in 1965, and though he ruled brutally, he was still fearful of an uprising and had reason to be so.

For decades, spurred on by Suharto, the economists ensured the economy grew fast enough to lift millions out of poverty.

The army - which bloodily suppressed rebellions in some regions - was used to build roads and bring electricity to the poor in the Indonesian heartlands.

The economy was diversified and oil money was used to build sectors such as agriculture and fisheries, tourism and manufacturing, to provide jobs and income. Indonesia, which was once a minor player, is today the world's largest producer of palm oil.

And these changes were made to provide the poor with jobs and income. Nigeria, which in the 1960s produced almost half the world's palm oil, now accounts for just 7%.

And Suharto was right to be fearful.

When the economy collapsed in the Asian financial crisis of 1997, popular resistance rose and he was forced from power.


Nigeria's last presidential elections in 2007 were heavily criticised
The new rulers took note and the economy is growing again.

And in Nigeria? In Nigeria - feisty, fractious, exhilarating Nigeria - rebels in the Delta have staged attacks on oil wells.

Artists such as Fela Kuti and Wole Soyinka have railed at injustice. Civil rights groups have staged protests.

But if the songs and plays have been popular, the protests have, by and large, been attended by hundreds not tens of thousands.

So in Nigeria, leaders fear being usurped by each other and not ousted by a popular revolt. And they do not make things change.

"What I realised," Chukwudifu Oputa, the retired Supreme Court Justice selected in 1999 to look into human rights abuses under the military, told me one day, "is we have not fought, not really, or not enough. And if you do not fight for your rights, nobody will fight for you."

Nigerians fight every day, of course. They fight for survival, to put food on the table and to get by.

But have they put real pressure on their leaders?

If not, is that the reason, I wonder, that the average Nigerian lives to 47, and the average Indonesian to 70?

My Nigeria: Five decades of independence, by Peter Cunliffe-Jones was published this month by Palgrave Macmillan


Source    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-11399866


IS THIS TRUE?
Dating And Meet-up Zone / Re: What Is Your Date Of Birth? See If U Have A Match by Gnexplore: 11:16pm On Sep 21, 2010
June 12 MKO is our MAN oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Business / Re: Somebody Help! I Am Not Reaping The Benefits Of My Tipper by Gnexplore: 10:59pm On Sep 21, 2010
If this question was asked b4, pardon me.

How much do a sound Tipper cost , average cost?
Politics / Re: Can The North Secede? by Gnexplore: 10:43pm On Sep 21, 2010
are u sure they can survive on groundnuts? , for without Crude oil , there will not likes of IBB,

But the truth is that Western countries via Oil Companies prefer to deal with Northerners , than Southerns , least of which Ibos
as they Might re-negotiate all the NNPC oil contracts with Multinational Oil companies.

Allthough, the activities of Religious Nutheads, are making the West have a second thought,  
Politics / Re: Zoning: Northern Elders Issue 2-week Ultimatum To Pdp by Gnexplore: 7:43pm On Sep 20, 2010
seanet02:

when will this IMPOVERISHED ALMAJIRIS come back to their senses


never , that is why they are never allowed 2 c d 4 walls of skools!!!



Anyway , any southern (Yoruba, Ibo, Ijaw, etc) in the north should temporary relocate to south pending the outcome of this madness,

all these IMPOVERISHED ALMAJIRIS dont value life ,

one wrong info (incitement) from any delusional Imam , and lives will be lost!!!

Why should PDP impose zoning on this country?

After 50yrs of independence, btw north and south who have rule more?

Should IBB, OBJ and others not look at Clinton, Jim Carter, Kori Annan?

This PDP zoning idea, was it ratified by all PDP members or just the UNTOUCHABLES?
Jokes Etc / Wife 1.0(remix) by Gnexplore: 6:59pm On Sep 20, 2010
Wife 1.0(Remix)☻☺

Dear Technical Support,

18 months ago, I upgraded to Girlfriend 1.0 from Drinking-Mates 4.2, which I had used for years without any
trouble. However, there are apparently conflicts between these two products and the only
solution was to try and run Girlfriend 1.0 with the sound turned off.

To make matters worse, Girlfriend 1.0 is incompatible with several other applications,
such as Lads-Night-Out 3.1, Football 4.5, and Playboy 6.9. Successive versions of
Girlfriend proved no better. I tried a shareware program, Slapper 2.1, but it had many bugs and left a virus in my
system, forcing me to shut down completely for several weeks. Eventually, I tried to run[b] Girlfriend
1.2 and Girlfriend 1.0[/b] at the same time, only to discover that when these two systems detected
each other they caused severe damage to my hardware.

I eventually upgraded to Fiance 1.0, only to discover that this product soon had to be
upgraded further to Wife 1.0. [/b]While Wife 1.0 tends to use up all my available resources, it
does come bundled with [b]FreeSexPlus and Cleanhouse2005
. Shortly after this upgrade,
however, I found that Wife 1.0 could be very unstable and costly to run. Any mistakes I made
were automatically stored in Wife 1.0's memory and could not be deleted.


They then resurfaced months later when I had forgotten about them. Wife 1.0 also has an
automatic Diary, Explorer and E-mail filter, and can, without warning, launch TurboStrop and
Multi-Whinge. These latter products have no Help files
, and I have to try to guess what the problem
is.

Additional problems are that Wife 1.0 needs updating regularly, requiring ShoeShop
Browser for new attachments and Hairstyle Express [/b]which needs to be reinstalled every other
week. Also, when Wife 1.0 attaches itself to my Saab 93 Convertible hard drive, it often crashes.
Wife 1.0 also comes with an irritating pop-up called [b]Mother-In-Law
, which can't be turned off.
Recently I've been tempted to install Mistress 2003, but there could be problems.

A friend of mine has alerted me to the fact that if Wife 1.0 detects Mistress 2003 it tends to [b]delete all of
your Money before uninstalling itsel[/b]f. Help requested please
Politics / Re: I Am Running For President Now, Nigeria Can't Wait Till 2015- Nuhu Ribadu by Gnexplore: 8:17pm On Sep 17, 2010
should it be , Nuhu Ribadu, IBB,GEJ or who ever,

all i want is development plans of each candidate, matched with concrete targets and deadlines

2gether with consequence (like resignation) of failure to meet the specified deadlines.

please what are the manifesto of the contestants that have declared so far?       like more are coming
Jokes Etc / Whatever You Give A Woman: by Gnexplore: 2:15am On Sep 17, 2010
Whatever you give a woman, she's going to multiply.

If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.

If you give her a house, she'll give you a home.

If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.

If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So--if you give her any crap, you can expect a ton of shit.
Politics / Re: And Jonathan Declares For Presidency On Facebook by Gnexplore: 10:20pm On Sep 16, 2010
this election go dey interesting , even FACEBOOK don become platform.

Just a few things sha,

1. Can 9jas abroad vote 4 9ja Embassies round the world?

2. Cant the Office of the (Job of the) President be Out Sourced 

Jokes Etc / : Biology Teacher: by Gnexplore: 5:54pm On Sep 14, 2010
A biology teacher wished to demonstrate to his students the harmful effects of alcohol on living organisms. For his experiment, he showed them a beaker with pond water in which there was a thriving civilization of worms. When he added some alcohol into the beaker the worms doubled-up and died.
"Now," he said, "what do you learn from this?"
An eager student gave his answer.

"Well the answer is obvious," he said "if you drink alcohol, you'll never have worms."
Jokes Etc / : Lawyer Studying The Bible: by Gnexplore: 3:19am On Sep 09, 2010
Why was the lawyer studying the Bible right before he died?
He was looking for loopholes!
Autos / Re: Fairly Used Hyundai Sonata Gls: by Gnexplore: 4:30am On Sep 04, 2010
Price : N 700, 000
mileage : 19907
Email: chinweub@yahoo.com
year : 1998
Jokes Etc / If You Are Alone, I'll Be Your Shadow: by Gnexplore: 11:24am On Aug 25, 2010
if you are alone, i'll be your shadow. if you want to cry, i'll be your shoulder. if you want a hug, i'll be your pillow. if you need to be happy, i'll be your smile. if you need money, wait for your salary.
Education / Personal Politics 2011 : 1 by Gnexplore: 8:47am On Aug 24, 2010
How to Ruin Your Life

For all those aspiring life-ruiners out there, heres some quick easy way to ruin your life, and the lives of those around you. Maybe if you don't really WANT to be a future life ruiner, and you find yourself doing any of these things, you should seriously reconsider. Otherwise, enjoy.

Difficulty: Moderately Easy
Instructions

1
One word: drugs. Getting involved in drugs is an easy way to ruin your life and the lives of your family members and people who depend on you. The harder the better.
2

Don't pay taxes. Ever. That'll get your finances screwed up real nice.
3
Have lots of kids, with a lot of different people, and don't take care of them. This is sure to earn you the label of life ruiner real fast.
4

Drink and drive. Not only can you get arrested and ruin your own life, you can hit someone else, hurt or kill them, and ruin their lives and the lives of their family members. That's epic life ruining!


more attached ,

http://books.google.com/books?id=9-gOy3dhLm4C&printsec=frontcover&dq=How+to+ruin+your+Life&hl=en&ei=CXhzTNrHM9jPjAfr9tTODw&sa=X&oi=book_result&ct=result&resnum=1&ved=0CCoQ6AEwAA#v=onepage&q&f=false
Autos / Re: Fairly Used Hyundai Sonata Gls For A: by Gnexplore: 8:05am On Aug 10, 2010
Price N750, 0000
Autos / Fairly Used Hyundai Sonata Gls: by Gnexplore: 10:03am On Aug 08, 2010
We have a fairly used Hyundai Sonata Gls shipped from Europe for sale (pics attached).

This is a very good buy at a very very good price, and It's gonna go fast and will be on a first come, first serve.

For more info, you can email back or use the contact details below.

Joy Chinwe
08034939213
Echewe Chris
08035611249

(1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (of 8 pages)

(Go Up)

Sections: politics (1) business autos (1) jobs (1) career education (1) romance computers phones travel sports fashion health
religion celebs tv-movies music-radio literature webmasters programming techmarket

Links: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9) (10)

Nairaland - Copyright © 2005 - 2024 Oluwaseun Osewa. All rights reserved. See How To Advertise. 119
Disclaimer: Every Nairaland member is solely responsible for anything that he/she posts or uploads on Nairaland.