Delightsome2023:
what happened at first attempt?

Namaster very Apt:
People in serious relationships with pornstars remind me of rough meat.

Specifically, imagine a tough meat that someone has chewed on with all the violence his jaws can muster. After chewing for 8 minutes, he drops it on an empty plate.

Another man comes along, picks up the chewed up meat and proceeds to mangle it further. Then, he drops it on another empty plate.

Then another man picks it up. And the cycle continues until finally a SIMPLE man comes along. Picks up the violently abused blob of tissue that bears no resemblance to meat. Neither does it taste like one. In fact, it's so tasteless that a sheet of cardboard is a caviar compared to it.

YET this man picks it up and say to it "you are the fairest of them all" and proceeds to treat it like royalty.

The simple man makes it the main course of his dish.

That's what men who date or marry pornstars look like to me.

Acekidc4:
Alcoholism is Bad, I have been Sober for 3 year 7 Month Now. I drink for this life oooo!! Too much of a Thing is Bad.

Lyrics269:

Masturbation is not a vice, it is your body and you are not offending or begging anyone

kosiebe:

Yes ooo. I never regretted voting him. I believe and trust him

Faber:
Date night with boo boo...

boo boo said I should pepper them with another clothes this night...

boo boo, you requested, I should wear this, you can have it...

I am going for a small party this night...

Las las , na sugar daddies she dey offer her strong, smelly Abakaliki kpekus to pay her bills. She no get anybody to stand for her
Let the boo boo come out now and help her get out, ordinary bail sef, she no fit secure for herself. She go chop stony beans for detention

Pikin way get one clothes no supposed follow other pikin dem, play inside rain

sukkot:
There used to be a time wheN the UK was very sweet. i would not even lie to you and that era was the pre- internet days. you see the beauty of the UK back theN was that

1 The world was not yet commercialized. it was strictly about culture and fun aNd having a great time. nobody was worried about money or making lots of it because everything was cheap. and also back in those days you could find like five of us naija guys sharing a flat and it was just fun and party all throughout and like all of us were british citizens back then ( yeah those who used to come pre-internet were mostly british citizens ) so we used to get all kinds of benefits so we didnt really have bills lol. just party life

2 Also what made the UK sweet back then was because there was no internet to tell you what it looked like, so you enjoyed it so much more because its like you are stepping into a world that you have never experienced before. there were no pictures of what to expect and so it wasnt cheapened ( no see finish ). it was all a mystery. now everything is on the internet

3 The caliber of naijas in the uk back then was quality guys and girls. now na every tom dick and harry oooo lol

4 Also the fact that the nigerian market was not open back then and so there was no uk goods in naija and so when we went to naija with our uk clothes everyone looked at us like celebrities. like peoppple would be admiring your uk baffs. of course today there is even no need to go to the uk because everything in the uk can be bought in nigeria now so that aspect of it has also being cheapened. like there are levis and nikes and every shop in the uk in any mall in naija now. like you can be in naija and baff better than someone in the uk now. and so there is no need to go to the uk again. Just buy your baffs in naija and flex

5 Like i said earlier the uk was not commercialized heavily back then but now its all about money. now they can even tax you for the air you breath if they can get away with it. its like the fun has been sucked out of the country and it is now all about survival

6 It has become overpopulated by immigrants from all over the world. its like that unique britishness has being lost.

AND SO BROTHER THE UK WAS ONCE A SWEET PLACE BUT ITS NOW A SHITTY PLACE. LOL. I NEED TO TURN THIS INTO A THREAD LOL AND SO TO ANSWER YOUR QUESTION BRO THERE IS NO POINT IN BEING IN THE UK AGAIN IF YOU CAN FIGURE OUT HOW TO LIVE WELL IN NAIJA BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS IN NAIJA. EVERYTHING THAT IS IN THE UK IS IN NAIJA EVEN KFC AND DOMINOS AND NIKE AND APPLE AND POSCHE AND SKETCHERS ETC ETC ETC . SO IF YOU CAN DEVISE A WAY TO EARN POUNDS IN NAIJA, ITS THE PLACE TO BE

Rubyjade:
Good morning, I have discussed with him, he wouldn't mind but the problem would be accomodation.
Ok noted. He can send his CV. You can Pm me
Happy Sunday.

Rubyjade:
Please help my man, he got retrenched today and it been heartbreaking for him.

His a graduate of accountancy with 4yrs experience in accounting. He can use excel, Ms word and Sage 50 and QuickBooks very well.

Has a very good understanding of LIRS, FIRS, ITF, NSTIF


Please help him, his a good man

Thank you in anticipation

jaelz:
So in the Nigerian context, the guys always do all the spendings in a relationship and that leaves us wondering what the ladies do with their money, although many atimes I have always heard that women have more money that men in the real sense, I didn't believe until it happened to me, see my story below:

So I have been dating this girl for like a year plus now, and I always do all the spendings, bills, outings spendings and so on, but just last week she gave me her ATM and told me to help her witdthraw 80,000 from her account for her while coming back from work, on my way back I stopped at an ATM to withdraw for her, but one mind prompted me to check her account balance, when I did guys guess what I saw? This my babe wey dey always do like say she no get one Naira had close to 3.1 Million Naira in her account lying there breathing.

Omo I almost fainted at the ATM queue. Many ladies have money guys o, please guys kindly share how you found out your girlfriend had more money than she has been revealing.

DelTel:
So sad about the experience. You didn't commit any offence to be detained and locked up!

The police guys just scammed you using the excuse of FRSC, JTB and licensing offices inefficiency. The truth is that number plates are not updated on the FRSC portal for months i.e most Lagos numbers with G are not yet uploaded, last update was for F numbers likewise any other state number newly issued.

You should report to relevant (higher) authorities to bringing the police officers to book for their behaviour. Of cos, the DPO is not ignorant of the payment!

For those eager and desirous to know the link to check the plate numbers, here it is: https://nvis.frsc.gov.ng/VehicleManagement/VerifyPlateNo

MrBrownJay1:
a French proverb says:" c'est en jouant que Toto a baisé sa mère"... aka its through play-play that Toto bleeped his own mother.

continue this "boyfriend" this and "boyfriend" that... we all know how it will end.

chatinent:

Are you?

chatinent:
A teacher's experience with a co-teacher. Share yours.

Yes, I know we teachers should be weary, yes I know we should be ripping our inner garments for the gory nature of the economicsphere but it shouldn't stop us from putting on that big smile sometimes and yet illuminating our life.
.
Was there a time you taught in a school? Share some of your OMG moments.
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Here's mine: I remember a day I caught a co-teacher eating from a pupil's lunchbox. I was like a deer caught on headlamps. She was dumbfounded and at the same time beseeching me already through her eyes (I could read that).
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Here was a teacher I really didn't like because of her numerous flirtatious stories even retold and used as a singsong by students to their peers for listening pleasure. Second reason I didn't fancy her presence was an experience I witnessed between she and another co-staff which I wouldn't want to retell.
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I was the Dean of Studies and also not sb who dances to the date-me-flirt tunes of co-workers so she felt she was done and dusted. How did I handle the matter?
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I could never justify her actions but rather than reporting and she losing her job, I decided to ponder over what to do so I wouldn't let my bias preside over matters. I could have just queried and boom! she's gone..but I thought about thinking it over.
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During this period I was still thinking it over, she came with the stereotypical 'woman-power' seductive approach to ensnare me for a fling or whatever the plans were (probably to shut my mouth).
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Once she noticed I weren't a sort who shrunk bank from my principles and beliefs, she apologized and I had her document and sign never to repeat such.
Yeah, as for the food part, we entered into a contract where she signed. I also warned her against it as it was very bad.
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I know it really didn't make a difference but I really didn't want it seem overlooked. Well, she was queried still and punishments given after she still went behind doors eating a well-garnished poisoned food by a parent. Craizily, the parent must have noticed.
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Good for her the poison was not to kill but for unstoppable farting, vomiting and stooling.
.
What a world!

It was a very funny yet serious experience. Hanty couldn't stop farting, pooing and vomiting. Share your experiences too please, be it a student gist or a teacher palaver.

noakchukibadan:
Hello,

Please no ethnic banters. One of us is from Ekiti, and the other is from Benue. I am married for 8 years with 2 kids. It has been one problem to another.

I must be very frank, before marriage, my wife had many very questionable characters, but unfortunately we did the marriage counseling in a church were the pastor happened to be her family member. Many of the issues would have been resolved, but when I raised those issues about her character the pastor promised me that everything will be fine after the marriage.
Although this is not an excuse, but looking back now I would have been more patient and taken my decision myself instead of rushing into the marriage. For this I HOLD MYSELF ACCOUNTABLE

There is hardly nothing we do not quarrel about, I have always been the one to initiate settlement. The only way I ensure that there is peace in the house is for me not to complain about anything. Even at that, there is always trouble. If the children do anything wrong, she always says those characters the children are exhibiting are not from her and that she is not surprised that they inherited such characters from me.

She can go for months without talking to me, even if I tried to, I have done all I could do, I have begged, cried prayed. I just feel tired and exhausted from trying to make the marriage work or have peace in the home, the sad part is that she often reminds me every time there is misunderstanding that I should remember that she can stay on her own without talking to any body. Just to add, she is very prayerful.

OTHER INFORMATION.
1. I can say conveniently that there is no money problem at home. Finance is okay.
2. I went to see her father 2 years ago, the man said unfortunately he can not do anything. This is true because she was raised away from her Father, she has no contact with any of her fathers family and her father has a zero say in her life.
3. she has 5 elders ones, non of them is in communication with her because of many unresolved issues. Of her 3 younger ones she only maintains a relationship with the last boy who is just 14 years. .
4. Her mum can not talk to her because she simply dares not. However, behind, her mother use to beg me and she kept saying she understands her daughter's character and that she is doing her best by praying and doing deliverance for her.
5. She is not in contact with her maternal uncles and aunt because she said they supported her elder ones when she had problem with them.

So I am stuck with no one to help call the both of us and resolve the issue.

Every year for 5 straight years, she always forgets my birthday, last year, she forgot also, three days later, she bought me a present and I refused to collect the present and I asked her why does she keep forgetting my birthday, year after year for 5 years. She just said sorry, but I left the present in the room, she never bothered to bring the present to me. Another birthday was gone yesterday 2nd May, and as I write, no happy birthday yet.

I literally cook for myself, and all domestic things I do for myself.

I will end this by saying that in fairness to her, her character was not too different before the marriage and courtship, sincerely only once, that was like one year before the marriage I broke up with her, she came to apologize and promised that she will change. Her mother also came to apologize to me also.

This woman has refused to change or allow peace to hold sway, she is right every time, while everybody around is wrong. Sincerely, I do not know what to do anymore.

I am tired and exhausted. I do not know what to do anymore. I am 42, I was diagnosed of high blood pressure 2 years ago.

timothydare:
You can draw close to Jehovah by meditating on what you have learned from his Word.

Contemplate his activities, his advice, and his promises.

Prayerful meditation builds appreciation in our heart for God’s love and wisdom.​ — Read Joshua 1:8; Psalm 1:1-3.

You can be close to God only if you trust in him, if you have faith in him. But faith is like a living thing that needs feeding. You must constantly feed your faith by reviewing the basis for your beliefs.​ — Read Matthew 4:4; Hebrews 11:1, 6.

itsme01:




even if their webmaster failed to proof read, cant staffs do that, this is why i use a proof reading site for all my works


PS: OP you better check your Nairaland previous post and be certain your Name or contacts isnt there, because Nairaland is the 2nd most visited site in nigeria and any school official can trace and fustrate you
Which is the first?


.

drizslim:
It depends on ur choice relating to what u wish doing after nysc, would u like to continue life from the place afterwards.. All those are put into consideration b4 optioning for a state and many more

iaamxavier:



Thanks alot for this piece

I'm I really sounding like a girl?

Help me with Macho write up

GrabHisBalls:
I am now tempted to reply you. What defines a person is character. In Tacha's case, she was kept in a house for 3months and her characters manifested. Though, there are areas they faked some, while there are areas they couldn't. She's boastful, arrogant, lawless, shameless and dirty(all these with body odour). You can now go and kill yourself for all I care.

About me, I am an introvert. At least, not to the extreme. All my life, I have never gone physical on anyone no matter the provocation. If I sense insult/disrespect from people around me, I give them space. That's my own ways of avoiding to fight/quarrel. You have no idea of this Benita you claim to know. Permit me to say, you don't know me. It's not pretending. That's who I truly am. I've known Nairalanders who could tell you what I am capable of. One of my male bestie, I met him here. We've known for 3yrs now.

Don't carry those social media juvenile activities on your head. In my case, it was the opposite of me. Have I corrected that your faulty notion? Bye.
You should have resisted the temptation to reply her

Vincad:
I recently read an anonymous post of a guy who got a six million naira job immediately after service. From 19,800 to 6million. Will you advise that guy to quit his job just to answer to the term 'entrepreneur'?
Sure not everyone will be like him, just like not everyone can be into business.

Chimaokigwe:
Mbaise people are very terrible.

Ihedioha the Mbaise man is simply proving this to be true. The idiot is bent on fighting everyone instead of uplifting Imolites.

Mbaise that fought with the Pope, Imolites are already regretting allowing those evil people produce iGovernor.

datyrone:
strike...the only language Nigerian government understands