₦airaland Forum

temigracie: ..hmmm....@OP...Tanks for sharing this useful and valuable information....

I am richly blessed to be Miss Grace....I'm blessed to be raised by my loving and sweet parents....

SOme of this values our parent imparted in us are fading....Children of nowadays are growing faster....They dont want to even hear about culture and values talkless of doing it....

I think parents should do and try all their possible best to impart this into their children....Like one yoruba proverb that says 'Ati kekere latin paka iroko'....It means foundation matters alot....We should not wait till when our children becomes dried fish before we try to bend them to do our wish...

my dear, just last week, i was at my SIL place, his son just gained admission into higher institution, his dad gave him his school fees, he just collected it, without saying anything, it was as if i wanted to explode, but i tried to control myself. As if that was not enough, she(SIL) asked me to accompany her to go do shopping for his son, so along the way, i discussed the attitude of ungratefulness i observed with her son and can you guess what she said? She said in yoruba and i quote.........haaaa, awon omo aye isinyi ko leko, meaning children of nowadays lack good manners, i said no ma, point of correction, you're the one that never taught him to be well mannered, if you have instilled the sense of gratitude in him, he would have been used to it. So after we came back from shopping, the mother bought him 5 trousers, 5 shirts, underwears, shoes, sandals, slippers and varieties of provisions. To my utter amazement, he just collected those stuffs without saying anything, i had to call him back and asked him why he didn't appreciate all they did for him, surprisingly, he said.......it's their duty now, why will i thank them for performing their duties. I then asked that what if they refuse to perform their duties, will you kill them, so, i tried to educate him on the importance of being appreciative. Atleast, for that day, he went to them and thank them after my "sermons on the mountain".
What am i saying? It is the way we train these children that they will carry to adulthood.
Once again, may God help us all parents.

glimpse: bookmarked. when I have my kids I'd teach them.

may God help you and all of us. Amen

Hello lovely Nairalanders.
I'm gradually resuming back to NL after my unofficial vacation.
I want us to learn from one another as regards what affects every family, which is...............training of our children, whether biological, adopted or live-ins(i mean relative kids who are living with us temporarily, for one reason or the other), therefore, i will be coming up mostly on threads that have to do with child/ren upbringing and today, we want to start with "teaching our children to always be appreciative, no matter how small or little the favour shown by whoever, be it parents, relatives, friends, visitors, employees/employers, or even strangers.


First, what is gratitude?
Gratitude is the appreciation for a favour given or shown to someone. It is the act of thankfulness. It is being grateful for favour or kindness.



How can we show gratitude?

Personally, the best way to show appreciation is by saying it out............by saying thank you each and everytime a kind of favour is given or shown to someone, without saying it out, the person doing the favour may think his/her favour/kindness is not appreciated, so, the best way to let the person know that you appreciate is by telling the person that you appreciate his good gesture towards you.
Another way is by leading as example, what you don't have, you can't give, if you're the type that's always grateful, they will always copy you. For example, when any of my kids do something nice, i thank them. It means you're indirectly training them to be likewise.
Why showing appreciation?
A yoruba adage says "eni to ba dupe ore ana, a ri emii gba" i.e if you say thank you for a kindness, it is an avenue for you to get another one". However, personally, the reason for being appreciative is not basically to get another one but to show that YOU ARE WELL AND PROPERLY BROUGTH UP. I use to say this, there is no bad elder, it is a bad child that grows to become bad adult, if one does not know how to say thank you for a good deed, then such should not complain when wickedness is shown to him. If somene can go out of his way to assist in one way or the other and the mouth seems to be too heavy to utter just "thank you, such a person should not use the same heavy mouth to complain when a prospective helper refuses to help. This is in support of yoruba adage that says......."eni ti a ba se oore fun, ti ko ba dupe, ti a ba se ika fun, ko ma binu".




When do you start teaching your kids the sense of gratitude?

As early as possible, teaching our kids to be appreciative should start from when they are toddlers, so that they will get used to it. Infact, all my children's first words are...."tan tu" (thank you). They are so used to it now that it makes people , almost everyone that come across them to fall in love with them instantly. They are taught to say "thank you Lord" first thing in the morning, and that also is already part of them that no one can take away from them. Saying thank you by kids make people to conclude that, such kid is well-mannered, even though as kids, they have their flaws, but the sense of gratitude they possess has so much covered their other areas of weakness to the people outside.



How do you instill sense of gratitude into your kids?
Very simple; instist that they say thank you for whatever you do for them at home, even though, it is our duty to take care of our kids, but it's also their right to appreciate it.

Let us learn from one another, if there is any other point to add or modify, please, let's do and learn from one another.
May God help us all parents.

Nice and insightful!

Guykhena: Exactly,that was why I made mention of "Manipulating Words"...


But parents should be careful and not take it too far. Cus some might end up passing a 'pointless phobia' into the kid young mind,,and some grow up to be introverts,,take this conversation b/w an average African Parent and her kid..

Mum: Don't near any boy,they're devilish,don't let any boy touch any part of your body or even get close,keep away,if you see a boy coming right run left and keep running bla bla bla


Imagine the above ^^^ going into a 6years old mind,growing up 'most' end up getting a phobia of men(I don't need to tell you the consequence) ...

I mean if parents are to indulge in such conversations it should be when the kid mind is a bit developed and able to take it in,,,,



Parents should be strategic when bringing up such conversations(best bet,when their kids is getting to the stage of puberty,,,,let's say as from age 13,,,, but before then the 'School' comes into play to keep things in check)

Don't get me wrong sir, not that they shouldn't be touched, but their private parts. Thanks.

ephee: my dad is very much alive and i living in isolation and regret.pride and stubborness made him not to look for me because he blived since my mum left wit me then he has no business catering for my upkeep except i leave my mum and relocate to live wit one of his siblings who he belived wil take good care of me.staying wit a relative was a no go area coz my dad's sister s hubby was alredy eyeing me nd gave me a condition on a note that i slept wit him befor funding any expenses which i refused.
my dad is also heaping blames on me for not leaving my mum to live wit him.

sorry about this.
It is well.
God will see you through.
I wonder why God allow some people to become parents, imagine a mother transferring aggression to her first child because of unnecessary bitterness.
May you get your dream job and move out for good.

I really don't want to limit myself to the roles only meant for females, so that in case there comes a role peculiar to males probably occurs when males are unavailabe, i won't be totally helpless.

The same way i'm training my kids, no particular role is meant for males or females, all of them performs all the roles together. It has so many advantages. It promtes self-sufficiency to some extent. For example, if i dont learn how to fix bulbs, it means i will always have to wait for my man to come back to fix it, even if i have to stay in darkness. The same with generators.

It's this type of mentality that makes some women to think that children's school fees and house rent dues are mainly fathers' role, which to some of us is wrong, it has to be who gets the money first.

bjhere2009: Thank you jare. To die is a very hard decision to make. I will actually choose to do it and heal the traumatic effect later. After all it will be a family secret.

another question just occured to me now.............. How do you intend to heal the traumatic effect later?

My dear sister, sorry about what you're passing through.



Is your dad still alive? If yes, go look for him and let him know what you're passing through because of their failed marriage.

Secndly, stop trying hard to make your mum liike you, instead, try to love yourself first, build yourself and determine to succeed so that she will have every reason to want to relate with you later in life.
May God help and strenghten you.

Guykhena: where did I mention it being wrong? A bit confused here,,,, cus I know "Not-Comfortable" is different from the word "Wrong"... And at bolded am pretty sure there's a thing in school called "Biology"(just pointing out)..
A survey carried out in 2012 showed a 'large' percentage of parents shy away from sex education when it comes to talking to their kids,,and when they do get into the conversation they always tend to manipulate words(which leaves the kids confused) instead going in raw(its uneasy for most,and an "Awkward Moment" fills the room)....

But when it comes to School,there's no string attached,they give it to the kids as it is,, and kids grow up with mindset that they go to school to learn,and what the teachers give to them,its more easier for kids to grab it in, than what parents give to them(hardly pay attention)..

You would agree with me that there are some instructions a teacher may pass unto a kid(in this case student),and the kid won't hesitate in carrying it out ,but when it comes to parents its an another ball game entirely...

yes, you're right to some extent, and that is also where i am also going, do you know some parents don't tell their kids the real names of their private parts, they feel shy and uncomfortable to mention the real names, you'll be hearing things like........"totoros", "toitoi", "kokoro", "your thing", and all other funny names. These things are wrong and it has to be corrected, the very first step to giving se-x education is to get your kids get familiar with the real names of their privates.

............continues.....


For example, my almost 6-years old daughter knows her privates parts and also know that nobody has the right to touch any of it, like her bottom, breast(chest area), vagina, nobody, not even her brother or any other person for that matter, if anybody tries to touch her in any of those arears, the action is called "harassment" and such action should be reported immediately, even if she has to shout if she suspect that the person seems more powerful.



And again, what could be uncomfortable in telling my 9+ years old that anytime from now she would start to experience certain developmental changes in her and that the changes means she is growing from childhood to mid-adulthood and that such changes may include monthly shedding of blood through the va-gina which is an indication that she can be put into the family way which would definately lead to disruption of her wonderful dreams of her life.

Also, what is uncomfortable in telling the the beauty of getting legally married before moving around with protruding bellly.


Abeg, i can't be shy or feel uncomfortable to discuss sex educatin with my children, it will go a long way to help them avoid avoidable mistakes.


The same goes with my male children too.


Parenthod is more than feeding and clothing children, it is an all-encompassing status that is based on choice.
May God help us all parents.

Guykhena: Umm I think the school...
Cus parents aren't always comfortable bringing such topics up to their kids(there's always an awkward moment),,,,

So for me,I think the School is the safest bet...

Not trying to condemn your opinion, but you know we're here to share ideas, to learn from one another.

Why should the school be the best bet, when the kids spend at most nine hours in the school out of the 24 hours we have daily, when those there do not understand the peculiarity of induvidual kids in their care?


And why will responsible parents not be comfortable discussing sex education with their children.....what is wrong in letting your kids know the real names of their sex organs and their functions?

lalasticlala: Many schools in the country don't really give comprehensive sex-education. And, unfortunately, most parents are uncomfortable to talk to their kids about sex. Hence, youngsters end up getting partial or even incorrect information from the internet.
Some also get misleading information from peers and the wrong people.

In my opinion, teenagers MUST receive proper information about safe sex practices before they engage in sexual practices.

But, who's responsibility is it to give it to them?

both the parents and the school but it has to start from the parents. Also, parents do the largest part.


And BTW, sex education shouldn't be delayed till teenage years, it actually starts earlier in simple terms that they can easily understand.

bjhere2009: Thank you jare. To die is a very hard decision to make. I will actually choose to do it and heal the traumatic effect later. After all it will be a family secret.

smh for you!
Are you one of the people that believes that death is always evil?
.......answer me this............
What is the joyfulness in life when it only brings about perpetual grief
And what is the evil in death when it takes you away from perpetual grief


God forbid, but sometimes, death seems to be the best option in some circumstances, example is the scenario posted here.

If you too bars your phone with codes, then, she has every right to do likewise. Afterall what is good for the goose is also good for the gander.

A real man/father knows that he has to be involved in his child/ren's upbringing.


#Fact

Question........ Why do some pastors' kids misbehave?


Answers........
1. People expect too much from them, forgetting that they are also humans, even the pastors themselves errs, just to confirm their human nature, not to talk of their kids.

2. Very many pastors rarely have time for their kids, they get away with the wealth, fame and connections attached to their work/ministry, hence, their children's rebellious actions.

3. Some pastors think that it is automatic for their kids to always be well-behaved because they are pastor's kids, forgetting that, God will not do that which we are supposed to do, it is our duty to train our kids in the way of the Lord, any parents who expect God to do that for him is living in illusion and will definately reap his negligence just like Eli the prophet in the bible.
May God help us all.

LMAyedun: Noted Sir!

its never too late, the title can still be modified.

UnknownT: OP, next time Viewers Discretion is advised!!!!

1stdeolaw: I cried when I saw the first pic online where people actually stood and took pics of her with their phone. O God why did you bring me here among horrible people!

can you imagine
And some people will be running their mouth anyhow about the insensitivity of the govt............what other level of insensitivity can be higher than this
They're not even afraid if an unexpected happens.......i wonder what those taking the pics really want to use it for..........prolly for facebook upload.....mtchew...........heartless people.

watchthisposter: Chai, poor woman. Why couldn't she like just move to another neighboorhood where nobody knows she's Liberian?

Na wa 4 Naija O! Even though the woman is dead, they are all still afraid to touch her corpse!! Nobody can even dare bring her corpse down from the tree!!

EBOLA! I salute you!! The name above every other name(xcept Jesus of course ). At the mention of that name every man must run.

Even that hypocritical punch correspondent sef, what did he/she do to get that unsightly mess properly taken care of? Na to rush off go write article make punch sell newspaper make money naim he sabi



Yeah, quick call the police!!

i dey tell you, if the way we fear ebola is the way we fear and reference God, this country would have been a better place for all of us.


Someone even said and i quote......."i respect that ebola o" and i asked if he respect himself and his fellow human beings like that........there was no response................na wa for all of us o

BokoHaramInfo1: www...com

www...com

www...com

aint you tired of this, are you happy that BH is tomenting the country abi what
Miserable bloggers!

Chai......see what stigmatisation caused. We Nigerians are very good at it, yet, we are so religious, but obviously ungodly. So because she was a liberian now, she's automatically an ebola victim....na wa o.

RIP to the woman though.

emmachick: I give him normal food like rice, scrambled egg, toast, beans etc he eats them but just tiny bit. He doesnt eat them to fill him up.

I don't think anything is wrong in the cereals I give him coz he eats different types like, weetabix, golden morn, aptamil cereals etc.

Not that he wont eat the food, he just enjoy me chasing him round the house.

For example one day I gave him one spoon of food, he rejected it and walked away, while he was walking he was checking behind him if I will follow him as usual of which I didnt.

He is so much used to me chasing him that he now takes the mick out of me...my issue now is how can I break him of that silly habit?

if this is the case, then.......
Place him on your laps when feeding him, tell him to sit on your laps, then feed him, if he dares jump down while eating, leave him and stop chasing him around the house, if you stop chasing him arund for like 2-3 days, he will get your message and adjust, i tell you........talking from experience.
Secondly, eat together, serve your food and his together, and jokingly insists that you eat simultaneously by putting food in your mouth at the same time, he will enjoy the fun while it last.
Raising toddlers require much patience.

I don't believe it's only girls that complain of being used and dumped, guys too make such complaints. Now depends on why and what exactly the individuals involved are really whinning about.........so, each to his/her own.

OmoAlata1: I don't believe it. It is a hoax. It would have been all over news. It is even physically impossible.

this is exactly what hubby said, but you know, with modern day science, almost all things are possible.

compromise84: AM DYING IN SILENT AS MY HUBBY IS FLIRTING WITH DIFFERENT WOMEN WHEREBY SOME WILL CALL AND SENDING TEXT MESSAGES TO ME, NAGGING AND BEATING ME, INSULTING MY FAMILY. MOST PAINFUL PART OF IT, GIVING WOMEN BELLY AND ABORTING THEM, RIGHT NOW ONE IS PREGNANT FOR HIM WHERE HE'S FOCUSING ALL HE'S ATTENTION TO, WHAT SHOULD I DO?

AM HIS LEGAL WIFE WITH 4 KIDS, DUE TO THIS, HE HAS INFORM ME THAT HE'S NO LONGER HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH ME ANYMORE, I THINK MY HUBBY IS UNDER LOVE SPELL, PLS HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what should you do
You're still here asking what you should do after all you described about him here........if all you wrote above is the truth and nothing but the truth, then i think you don't need to be asking what you should do unless....................you don't love yourself and your children enough.



Brb.......

With God, all things are pssible!



With science, ALMOST all things are possible.

Violence shouldn't be tolerated from any gender, be it from man or woman........nobody has the right to hit anyone, if you hit first, be ready to be hit back. Enough of hiding under one finger of "afterall she's a woman".
Is a man not a human being also?
It's very simple.............IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HIT, DON'T HIT YOUR MAN FIRST.

This is my stand..............


Honestly, it's a show of total disrespect, indiscipline, mannerlessness, rudeness and gross arrogancy on the part of a woman to hit his man first.
Violence should not be caused by anyone, be it man or woman, let there always be mutual respect.
What is good for the goose is also good for the gander.
It is a gross hypocrisy when we say a man should not hit a woman but turn a blind eye when it is the other way round.
Let's be objective please.
Not supporting a man hitting his woman, as well as a woman hitting his man.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HIT, DON'T HIT FIRST.......

Seems Nigeria govt is waking up gradually.
Imagine bags of rice and bags of garri we consume daily in this country. If such can be coming from within the country, i wonder where the hunger, unemployment and poverty would be hiding.

These are animals who doesn't have much sense of reasoning, yet they're faithful with their mates, which some human beings find difficult to be, maybe those people need to be shown this thread to let them know and realise that faithfulness in relationship is a virtue and not difficult to achieve.

Personally and honestly, i can't encourage anyone to study veterinary medicine in this part of the world.

Has human beings been adequately satisfied nutritionally and medically before talking about vets