₦airaland Forum

@op, please the soner you go home and confess to your wife, the better for you and your family. She and your children are in the mess you caused them, ot the one they caused for themselves, i wonder how you would have handled it if it was the other way round. Now that said, don't involve any of your in-laws now, involve her alone and show true repentance and regret.
Let me give you a clue on how to start..............are you interested

Unfortunately, men are very good at it, even if not better than women, but they like feighing innocense.


As for me, i listen to it very well, especially at my place of work, it makes me know the kind of every individuals involved in it, and when i want to do mine, i make sure the concerned person is present there, that way, there won't be "she said, they said", thereby adding to or reducing what is said or even changing the whole concept entirely.


Nobody should claim perfectionist here jare.

Abeg, make this law no reach here now o, because the last time our borehole got faulty, we resorted to collecting of rainwater......opelope rainwater o, if it's in USA now, that means i for dey in jail now........na wa o.

Since what is good for the goose is also good for the gander, i'm therefore waiting for........"HOW TO KEEP YOUR WIFE/WOMAN INTERESTED IN YOU-TIPS AND ADVICE".
Thank you.

uboma: I will advise that you report the matter to his mum, especially that part that he's punishing you for refusing to abort his child. Your man is something else, cant even get the appropriate word/phrase to describe him.

you want her to face another form of punishment, probably going physical this time around, since he has already punished her with infidelity.
Mtchew.........useless.........i don't want to finish it, i'm really pissed at the man.

cancerlib: I just don't want all the stress to cause me miscarriage, have suffered enough already.
Have decided I won't report him to anybody, I'll give him the silent treatment, if he'll come back to his senses, I want it to be him without d interference of anyone

yes, i understand that you have suffered enough already, while REAL men pamper their pregnant wives, yours decided to traumatised you and punished you with unfaithfulness which might lead to infection, and then come back to tell you that your wahala too much, what a wicked man
Anyway, i don't think silent treatment, which means bottling-up is good for you at this delicate stage, you still need to trash it out with him, let him know how he has really hurt you, let him know how he has made you suffer for what he should have been happy for, talk extensively with him, not with raised voice but out of your mind, then, watch his body language and what he would say thereafter, from what he'd say and his body language, you will know whether he's truly repentant, you will know whether he's the type you can go on and spend the rest of your life with or to face the reality and move on, because you can't continue being "punished" each time you get pregnant for him.
Please, no silent treatment at this stage, break the silence and speak your mind, don't be fraid, what will be will be.
It is well.

How did i find myself here

Very unfortunate, the deed has already been done before you realise how mean, unfaithful and selfish you are.
Now, first of all, forgive yourself, so that you can save yourself from further destruction of mind, soul and body.
Then, confess to your wife, she may or may not forgive you, (that is irrelevant now) but atleast confessing to her will give you the inner peace you need.
Thirdly, confess to the other woman and let her also be aware that you have confessed to your wife also.
Next, get tested with your wife and children, infact, involve your kids too, go for comprehensive medical check-up with your household, if your wife refuses to go to hospital, pay for home service and get tested thoroughly.
I wish some other men and even unfaithful women will learn from your story.
It is well.

And please, don't ask me what i would have done if i'm in your shoe, because i'm a person with zero tolarance for nonsense.

Wishing you goodluck.

cancerlib: Hmmm, my story took a different turn.....
When we first got married, we made a decision to wait a bit before procreating (he wanted to be more balanced) asked him how long is a bit, and he said few months. But when months rolled into a year and over a year, his family got on my case especially his mom. When I told them its their son that isn't ready they refuse to accept, after all am d woman, if I want a baby I know how to go about it.
I tried reasoning with him we should try for a baby now but he was adamant, he doesn't want stress for me andhe needs to put some things in place before we talk about babies.
Fast-forward to some months later and I got pregnant. He went really mad, how could I betray him so? Blah blah.
He told me point blank he wants an abortion to which I refused, his family heard about it and told him his callous , ,shouldnt he be happy about it.
This went on for days but he eventually accept and apologise for his actions ans and we movedd on.
When I saw his chat with the lady, this situation crossed my mind , could it be related? That's y I was dazed and confused at first.
When we talked , he went all macho with me and actually confirmed it that hes punishing me cos I tried to prove smart by getting pregnant, and that upon his tears and pleads to abort I was adamant. All d fight in me fled, I just told him hes not even the father of that child ans I told him we have nothing further to discuss.
I went to bed, this morning he asked for food and I told him am never cooking for him again.
He said I like unnecessary wahala, he didn't sleep with anyone, I wasn't even interested and just left

so, your husband said he was punishing you for getting pregnant for him by flirting around and planning to infect you with STDs...........na wa o.


Madam, now you know the kind of man you're married to.
It's a pity, the child many are spending fortunes to get is what someone gets without stress and still have to punish his wife for it........"eni to ni ori, ko ni fila, eni to ni fila, ko ri'bi de si".
In my own opinion, this man is mean, very mean for him to have done this,to subject you to this type of harshiness during this delicate period of yours, did he even realise the harm he might cause you and the unborn baby with his unfaithfulness?
Honestly, i don't know what to advise you, but that "i wasn't sleeping with anyone" statement of his is just a hoax......he is.....oh no, let me not say it.

Ok, what is your next line of action now?
It is well.

edwife: This frustration called MARRIAGE will kill our girls.

There is nothing enjoyable again for a young woman in this generation except marriage.

No dreams,no ambitions,no distractions,no fun.........


What a lost generation!sight

honestly, i feel you i know what exactly you're talking about, unfortunately, this present generation of girls believe that their route to true happiness and fulfilment is marriage, whereas, marriage doesnt guarantee all these, one has to be happy and fulfilled within herself first, one has to empower herself first, one has to know her worth first, then, marriage, nowonder there are so many horrible news concerning marriages today, may God have mercy with this misplaced priority and distorted orientation of marriage of our ladies.

You said you have sincerely apologized to his father, fine, that is commendable, atleast you knew you have messed up and you made adequate amend, the next thing is for you to move on, not only because of the guy's attitude towards you but also because of his family members, because i'm 80% certain that the dad must have informed his other children how you insulted him and blah,blah,blah.........if you go ahead and marry the guy, are you sure you can cope with that and other unforeseen treatments from him especially?
Think well about it, but honestly, the best bet is for you to move on.
........


But, omo..............honestly....you fvvvcked up big time for texting his dad, it would have been better if you went there physically to beg him to help you talk to his son,rather than that rude message you sent.

I wish you all the best with the next guy.

Jealouzzy: as many time as possible in the past

but now jealous won't just allow me to say "I love you" again

your username says it all.

M I S S



M for money.
I for in-laws.
S for sex.
S for sentiments.

And we can actually MISS all these wahalas if couple are open towards each other through meaningful and effective communication and they respect each other's differences, as well as treat each other the way he/she will like to be treated.


However, personally, no two-way traffic to infidelity and any form of abuse.

Nashville: Well, she just needs to find a new guy to cheat with. But this time she must make sure the new guy is "tried, tested and trusted". TTT.

Abeg that woman will continue cheating for a looong time!

Long time sir!
How are and yours?


I reserve my comment as per the subject matter of this thread.

Send back the screenshot you sent to your phone back to his phone with your own phone.
Believe me, he will call for explaination and from there communication starts.

@op, can you marry me with my "baggages"

OlamiB: So sorry if this will look like generalization, but this is my humble opinion about married people. Things contained here are what I personally see happen among married people,that doesn't mean it will apply to you.
THE WIVES
1) Tends to love and give attention to her kids more than husband; I dnt know why this should be, but its true. This reminds me of when my sister and her husband came for visitation with their little baby girl, I cnt recall how many times she kept on telling her husband not to let the kid fall despite the fact that he was carrying the baby o? A good wife should know how to balance the love between her husband and her baby. She knows the husband first and they both own the child.
2) Some have sex only for making babies; maybe the married men here can attest to it. I have heard enough of 'I will close my vagina for him as soon as am through with having kids' this doesn't make sense at all, I once read in a news paper where a married woman said she only has sex with her hubby for baby making. If Ɣ☺u r in this category pls dnt complain of adultery from ur husband's side
3) Speaking ill of your husband to your kids; please stop if Ɣ☺u r among those turning father's against their kids. No wonder a 14year old boy in my street almost killed his father with cutlass just because of a minor fight between his parents. My mum does this too, but thank God I have a good nature I would have done something bad to him. Dnt tell them about how Ɣ☺u were the one that payed the school fee, how he didn't pay for your Ghana braids some even tell the kids how the dad wanted them to abort the baby in the first instance
4) lack of appreciation; one thing mum has taughtme is to learn to appreciate. Ɣ☺u fail to appreciate him because Ɣ☺u think its his duty to pay for school fee? Pay the house rents? Feed you and the kids? Yeah, its his duty but a little appreciation does wonder sometimes. Learn to say 'thank you' after he must have payed the school fee and every other FEE. Just know that some men are out there who doesn't do up to half of what he's doing
African culture has it that the man is the head of the family, so no sane African woman should get married if she doesn't see a man being her head.

and what aboutTHE HUSBANDS
Or are they not part of the married Nigerians
Or probably, WIVES are only the evil married Nigerians and HUSBANDS are the angels/saints in Nigeria marriages





Wives don suffer...........

fitzmayowa: And the permanent interest is corruption...

.........in Nigeria.

himkers: I would love to know the e-national leaders of Nigeria's two popular parties, the PDP and the APC here on nairaland. Popular politics section posters like Berem, ugeneukwen, barcanista, firefire, sincere9igerian, greatgod2012, chino etal should please indicate their platforms and also present their e-national leaders to us...

i'm not a politician please.
Therefore, not a PDP or an APC member.
Thank you.

YourCoffin: I know it's because of me you opened this thread but your plans won't work. My business is a decent one. I mean it's just a moda fucking furniture! Why fear a goddam furniture! Abeg no dey put sand for my garri oh.

Abeg, i no fit laugh....it's not and can never be because of you......yes, na ordinary furniture.......


and this your moniker.........na wa!

r231: Do sales- buy one get one half off or free

and who will use the extra free one?

Bread and coconut.

I asked a colleague this question, and she said, she would ask the person what he wants her to do about it, infact, will tell him/her never to make such complain to her or even come to her place again, because such person who's into such line of business can't wish one long life.

See as this my colleague fear death reach.

E gbo, se o le to yen ni?
The thing don reach that level?

But his father was once a minister under PDP platform now.


Somebody need to tell/remind the guy that there is no permanent enemy/friend in politics, but permanent interest.

Very sad and pathetic indeed!

Wickedness of the highest height!

HarrveySpecter: What difference does it make?

a lot of difference, my dear, at least he will know the type of person he's competing with, and consequently, decides to engage in rigorous campaign or not.

raumdeuter: Some of these campaigners for Jonathan were probably those who did the Youth Earnestly Ask for Abacha and the Obasanjo for 3rd term campaign
Na their stomach dem dey hustle for, If a goat is president these same people would ask him to run for 7th term

you mean......stomach-structured set of people(SSP).......lol

If it'll increase the value of our currency, then, i'm in support of it.

Atiku
And when he loses, he goes back to PDP again.