₦airaland Forum

Since this is when you feel you should carry out research on your hubby, if that is what will give you happiness, please, do and dig very well but at the same time, be prepared to move on, paradventure your digging brings about heart breaking result.
Life is too short.

However, I must be sincere with you...... It seems it is too late.
May God help you.

Please, do away with alcohol completely, if possible.
It usually have adverse effect on babies.
Babies have very immature liver and hence, alcohol consumption by the breastfeeding mother is likely going to affect babies more than their mothers.
Thanks.


http://www.google.com/url?q=http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/alcohol.html&sa=U&ei=p6_3UdTKKcrUsgaf4YHwDQ&ved=0CCsQFjAB&usg=AFQjCNHowsaOpzX8RUAqFBwxjKmrTZwb3Q

@op, congrats on your delivery, may the arrival of the LO come along with your heart desires.


Well. Personally, I believe all these pressing of stomach with hot water and tying of wrapper on your tummy are all unnecessary.

Practise exclusive breastfeeding. bath with warm/hot water every morning and evening, take hot foods and drinks always,after 6 weeks start simple exercises like walking and going up and down of staircase, and you will be ok.

Childbirth is painful on its own, and after it, I will still have to be punishing myself by being pressed with hot water, mba!

Btw, I'm a mother of 3 and I've never done all this but you need to see how fit I am.

Let me tell you one secret sef.......exclusive breastfeeding alone sef does the magic.
Take care of the wonderful baby for me o.

One fact still remains and that is.................they are exploiters.

Nosu: I was really shock.we been together for like 4 years now and i tot i knew so much abt her but after that incident, its suddenly done on me that there are still a lot l don't know abt her.

That is why questioning is good during courtship, don't just assume, ask questions, no question should be regarded as stup I'd as far as marriage is concerned and questions are never too many when marriage is concerned.

If you had asked this question before, it won't surprise you now and you would have quit or continued the relationship, depending on whichever you can live with.

May God help you o

I admire this guy!
He has passion for his career and he's pursuing it, not allowing politics to kill his passion.
Kudos and may God be with you in your endeavour and in ours too.

@op, thanks a million.

Too much of anything is bad!
And come to think of it, we are very used to using paracetamol, even when one only need to relax, its paracetamol, paracetamol.
Many people don't realise that using drugs that aren't prescibed by doctors is also DRUG ABUSE.
May God help us all.

Its my hubby and my mum at the same time.
Laye pinging yii, no need to worry, as I'll be pinging my hubby, I'll be calling my mum with the other hand at the same time.


Goodnews is our portion always. Amen

taryour: I used to ask same questions and more myself untill I started watching the programme "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC channel 172. I tell you some realy do have flat tummy all tru and go about drinking,smoking,gyming and all sorts without know they are pregnant till when they start having labour pain. Have actually watched a lady unknowingly had her baby in the toilet, not until her baby poped out did she know she was pregnant,I was shocked and in tears o. A lot happen in this world o my sis.


How you and family?

God is wonderful
And you know what? No antenatal, and their babies do well. And here you are, some women start ante natal immediately they discover they are preggy, but some still turn out bad. May God comfort such people.




I'm fine and yours too, especially Tinuke.

Sometimes, when one is very big or huge as this, it may happen, at least I've heard of a fat woman like that who got to know she was preggy when the preggy is already 5 months already. But what I usually wonder is how far about monthly flow.

Anyway, congrats to them, may the arrival of the LO mark the beginning of a new thing in their lives. Amen.

How do you know a person you've never known before if you don't ask questions?

Asking questions does not necessarily mean you have to be with a writing note and be ticking which is which, but when opportunity comes, you just ship in your question as to his view on what is happening currently, for example, maybe you are running helter skelter because of your younger brother's school fees and your intended spouse is discouraging you, you can ask him his own view on the issue, from there, you got to know his relationship with his siblings.
Please, no one should misquote me, asking question does not necessarily means sitting on a round table like a meeting, its like a casual thing, just in order to know the other person better.
Well, as for me, I did ask a lot of question and I thank God I'm able to know him very well before we tied the knot.
Differnt strokes, they say.

Continued



YOUR SEXUALITY........... This aspect can never be over emphasized in any marriage and it has been one of the causes of many problems in many marriages. Therefore, discuss it extensively while courting, some people use to shy away from it and after marriage, it raises its ugly head in such a way that if care is not taken, it can scatter the marriage.
Question that may be asked here include..........
~how sexually active are you
~are you a virgin
~do you believe in s ex before marriage
~are you sexually attracted to a certain physique, for example, anyone who is sexually attracted to a slim person has no business dating a fat person and vice versar
~do you prefer a particular complexion in the other person, for example, I don't like a fair complexion man and I've never dated one in my life. If you are sexually attracted to a fair complexion person, you don't have any business with a dark complexion person.


YOUR HEALTH.............. Under this you discuss some pertinent questions like
~ Are you both ready and willing to undergo a comprehensive medical screening
~what are your views on exercise and fasting
~what are the medical problems you've had in the past
~What are the the medical history in you both family
~who falls ill often and less often between you two,etc.

YOUR RESPECT........... Mutual respect in marriagedetermines to a great extent how a marriage turns out. To regard a person with esteem, you need to have an appreciable level of repect for such a person. Some important question to ask here include
~can you proudly introduce your spouse-to-be to your friends and relatives
~do I relate to this person as my friend
~do I accept his or her friends as ny friends
~is there mutual giving and sharing in this relationship
Do I like the way he or she makes decision
~do we bring out the best from each other
~do I like the way this person makes decision
~am I constantly in conflict with him or her
~will I be drained of my individuality,personality, creativity, dreams and hopes, self respect,dignity and significance if I go on to marriage with this person.


YOUR EDUCATION........ The interpretation of issues and events greatly depend on one's educational background, therefore, it has to be threshed out, in order to prevent unnecessary frictions in your marriage. If you are the type that will want your partner to have at least first degree, you don't have business with anyone below that educational level, except he or she is ready and willing to upgrade him or herseld educationally.


YOUR COMMUNICATION........... Inability to communicate differences and problems out in a marriage put a great danger in such a marriage, therefore, communication, effective and efficient one is beneficial to the success of every marriage.
Right from courtship, examine if
~you interact freely with your intended spouse
~he or she listen to suggestions, ideas, and advices
~if he or she talks down on you
~if he or she listen when you talk
~if he or she discuss issues or avoid issues
~if you are free to disagree with him or her on any issue
~if he maintains healthy communication
Etc


All in all, marriage counsellors will do a wonderful job for you if you seek for their services. But above all, a three-fold cord is not easily broken, invite God and lean on Him and He will direct your path to the right person. However, don't forget to be a right partner in order to attract a right partner, remember. Like attract likes.
May God help us all.

Sorry for seeing this thread late.
@op, this your thread is tasking o, but I will try and simplify it as easy as possible.

First of all, NEVER GO INTO MARRIAGE WITH THE IMPRESSION OR BELIEF THAT YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR PARTNER. WHATEVER YOU THINK YOU CAN'T TAKE IN MARRIAGE SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN IN COURTSHIP, WITH THE AIM OF CHANGING IT AFTER MARRIAGE, ITS EITHER YOU TRASH IT OUT OR IF THE OTHER PERSON REFUSE TO CHANGE, CALL IT OFF. For example, I called my first relationship off with a guy because he's a liar. Laying a good foundation can never be over emphisised in marriage. If you don't takkle any problem you discover from the foundation, I mean from the courtship, don't bother changing the person after marriage.

Now, to what to discuss b4 marriage.............

YOUR BACKGROUND.......... Make your background known to each other, like your race or tribe, your culture, your tradition in your family, etc and ask if both of you are comfortable with each other's background. Also, under this, you also got to speak about your pasts, and ask if you are both comfortable with each other's past.
YOUR TEMPERAMENT.................... Discuss about your temperament, whether extrovert or introvert, whether choleric or sanguine or melancholy or phlegmatic and discuss about how you are going to blend your temperament in such a way that it will be beneficial for both of you in your marriage. Read books on it(I recommend 'why you act the way you do' and opposite attracts' both by Tim Lahaye) and see how you can tackle the weaknesses and tap the strenghts.

YOUR RELIGION............ Talk about your religion, are you both comfortable with your religion, if you are not in the same religion, who will compromise, if you two are going to practise different religion, whose religion will the children practise.

YOUR FAMILY.......... This include your children and your inlaws. How many children do you want to have. Discuss thoroughly on this.
Also, your inlaws, do you love his parents and does he love your parent. Do you love his siblings and does he love your siblings. Does he want to be identified with your people and are you ready to be identified with his people. Pls, don't forget that inlaws are part of determining factors in the success of any marriage.

YOUR FINANCE........... This is very important. Discuss about your source of income. Financial issues are a bone of contention in many marriages. The way funds are appropriated in a marriage should be given serious attention and resolved before tying the knot, in order to avoid bitter arguement and quarrels in the home. Some of the things to ask as far as finances is concerned include
~what is you both view on being extravagant, thrifty or stingy.
~are we going to have a joint account or separate account.
~who will control the family expenditure.
~are we going to share expenditure.
~do you know both income, I mean, do you both know how much each of you earn.
Who is fussy about financial accountability between you both.

To be continued.

In addition to you and big_t's point.......................

Living your own life.

Doing unto others what you want them do unto you.

Doing the right thing at the right time.

Growing up and remaining up

[quote author=Risky_mallam]As a kid, I used to chew regularly on ice; but I gradually outgrown the habit.

I heard somewhere that brushing for more than three times a day is bad for the teeth.[/quote]And why must you brush your teeth more than 3 times in a day

Sometimes, when something sympathetic like this happens, I usually ask why,why,why


Well,speedy recovery to the little girl.

Abeg, when the movie is finally out, one copy of the disk should be sent to Sen.Yerima, maybe, just maybe, his sense of reasoning as regards underage marriage will be changed

The woman knows what she's doing, its all political gimmicks.




May the mama's soul rest in peace.

This woman I'm seen o is not looking younger than her age. 47 years old? All she need to do if she want to look older is to dress more maturely. Simple.


Meanwhile, I will like to look younger than my age than to look older than my age.


Different strokes they say.

Thanks, I don't even allow spraying in my kitchen at all when cooking. Its dangerous, its already stated on the can that, its highly inflammabe.
May God help us all.

Extra large doing skimpy skimpy thing.
Wishing her goodluck.

Thank God they survived!


If they didnt, i trust my people,they would have credited it to "the handiwork of the opponents".
My people, i hail una o

@debrief, spon on!

You know, the most annoying part is that, when horrible things are happening, people prefer to use their mobiles to take pictures and videos and post it on the internet, instead of using their mobiles to call the police or make emmergency calls that will help to salvage those in problem, for example, the aluu 4.
May God help us o.

This is one of the things i really dont like about we Nigerians, most of us are law-breakers, most of us are always in haste, why?why?why?
The pedestrian bridge was made with tax-payers money and for our conviniency, but because our people are always in haste, they prefer to commit suicide by trying to cross the highway than using the pedestrian bridge. May God help us o.
And when someone is knocked down now, the driver will be charged for manslaughter, the people will be cursing both the driver and the government, the dead man's family will be in sorrow (ara ko ro okun, ara ko ro adie), why cant we save ourselves from all this dillema and be a law-abiding citizens
May God help us all.

I no dey for this o.

May God help them.

@DIGI; i respect your opinion, may God bless you.
The fact is that, if you dont have what it takes to be a parent, like love, care, i mean, the resource that will be used to nurture kids like............;financial resources, emotional resources, time resources,et,al, to take care of kids, its better not to have them, than for you having them, but subjecting or exposing them to life of suffering, as if they come on their own and as if you aint the one who invited them to come.
May God help us all.

Different stroke! dont ever compare marriages, if your friend's hubby cant do it, its their marriage, there might be some other things her hubby can do that your own hubby cant do. And for you that her hubby is doing it, thank God for your own, but i know for sure that, not everything you want him to do that he will always do, thats the uniqueness in marriages. Lets all be appreciative for what we have.
May God help us all.

@ op, is he just starting this attitude or he has been in it before you married him.
What does he stay outside doing for that long? drinking?, womanising?, yahoo-yahoo? What exactly?
Have you informed his parents about this his attitude, if yes, what are their reactions?
Do you know any of his close friends who is exactly like him?, maybe he is being influenced.
What is his relationship with his kids, does he love his children?
Why did you refuse to tell your parents what you are passing through, at least, you should know you need a confidant, so that you dont die in silence.
Are you sure you are not a troublesome woman, may be hes trying to dodge you by keeping late.
If you leave, is he the type that will look for you or the kids?
Can the job you do take care of you and the kids.
Are you a christian, if yes, have you prayed to God concerning it, prayer works, we might not know what we are missing if we fail to pray about certain situation.
All in all, my suggestions...........
i really sympathise with you, but, i believe that, there is still hope. You have complained to him severally, but it seems he refuse to change, why dont you try and make about two or three people that he respect to join you in talking with him, like your parents. When he is around, invite your parents and or his own parents and ask them to help you ask why he stays that long outside, tell them to help you beg, yes, beg him(i know some posters are going to crucify me for this) to always come home early, pour everything out, let them know that he is killing you emotionally, let them know that his attitude is not good for the kids' psychology, ask him if there is anything you have done wrong that is making him behave like that, if there is, apologise.


Now, if after all this, he still continue with his wayward lifestyle, then you can leave with your kids without telling him before or your whereabout, let him come in the midnight and not see anyone to open the door for him, leave a note at where he can easily see it with "since you have refused to change, and i dont want you to kill me and the children, i still love you and im ready to come back if you are ready to change, but if you are not ready to change, dont bother looking for us".
Wherever you might be, be it your parents or his parents or a trusted friend's place, continue to pray for him and God in his infinity mercy will come to your rescue and change his stone heart to animal heart IJN.

You shall have tesimonies and your testimonies shall be permanent over this your boy and every other things you want in Jesus name. Amen.