₦airaland Forum

TooNoisy:
May you live long ma.

The question itself is a very foolish question. Even if the man will choose the wife, he will never tell her. When he married the wife, it was in the presence and with the support of his mother, so he cannot denounce his mother to win the wife. Any sane man wants his wife and his mother at the same time and would never denounce one for the other.

We all know our parents sometimes can be troublesome just like anyone else, but that does not mean your husband has to throw his mother away even if the mother has offended the wife (depending on the offense). There are more mature ways of solving any problem without asking the husband to choose.

So I agree with you ma, that it is a nonsensical question that should never be answered.

thanks and God bless you too.


See in some exceptional cases, where the mother was highly irresponsible and all the man had was his wife before the mother comes to beg his son for forgiveness. The man may prefer the wife to his mother, but i still maintain that the question should not be asked by the woman. And also, if the man's action confirms that the man prefer his wife t his mother, the wife should be careful not to be carried away with the euphoria, because, table can turn around o.
It is well.

SAMBARRY:
You can bet the end time girls are on their way




ahen back to you madam great god if mother inlaws respect themselves and plant their a55es where they were married the issue of mil versus dil issues won't arise. You remember the yoruba proverb that says ati okere lore ti ma niyin.not only friends too but family learning like mils. If mils just see their dil from a distance and respecting boundaries mil vs dil won't arise. Ok take for instance if I come to your house without informing you first that I will come. You can let it go the first and second time but if it's recurring disrespect will start to creep in because built up resentment will start and like 7up locked up and vigorously shaken after some time will explode and all hell will be let loose



another issue is omo mummy. Has the body of an adult but the brain of an 8year old. My mummy said we should do this, my mummy said we should go here. Cannot put his home in order and set boundaries. Instead of trying to settle the issue in such a way sanity and mutual respect will be restored he will be taking sides because his brain is under his mother's armpit. The man is the one who knows the mother better than the wife so he should not allow such questions to arise by not even leaving room for it




on a lighter note you have been scarce o.you go just pass me waka on nl you cannot say hi. This pride is too mush o

lol@ end time girls.


See, my sister, wisdom is profitable in all things. No matter how the mother tries to familiarise herself in the house, some messages are better conveyed silently than silly questions such as this. Even in a situation when the mother seems to iverstep her boundary, let the wife leave the talking for the man. On no occassion should any woman ask such question, because it's childish. No man, i repeat, no man can denounce his mother for his wife, except the man is no longer sane.


On the second issue, if the man is not mature, let the wife show it that he is more matured than him by not asking such silly question. A mummy's boy's reaction to such question will even be the worst. Let the wife deal with both the man and his mother maturely and with wisdom, and if she can't cope, she is free to take a walk.


Sambarry my sister........i'm truly scarce, and for not asking after you is nt igberaga o, who born me, who be me....it's just that, we've not being meeting on threads because of my scarcity, and you know, out of sight is usually out of mind. I'm sorry ma...... Oya take........muah....muah.

Lol......Is she the first virgin Mary or the second one.




I just ask o, even though, i don't understand the story.

Good day my fellow forumites. It's been a while opening thread on this forum. Happy sunday to us all.


This thread was borne out of a quarrel between a couple i tried to settle two days ago.
A colleague of mine approached me for advice on what is happening in her marriage, and at the end of narrating her ordeal, i pointed her fault to her as being the architech of her problems. I deduced that the bone of contention is that each time there is disagreement, he would ask her husband to choose between her and and his mother, and as it is expected, the man would choose his mother, and yawa go gas!

Please, my fellow women and wives (though some men are guilty of this too, but it's more rampant with women), let's stop this nonsense, let's stop asking silly questions, if there is an issue between you and your spouse, communicate with maturity, without raising voice, without setiments and without blackmail and most importantly, without silly questions such as, "then, you will have to choose between me and your mother" it's childish, silly, disrespectful and out of security and envy.
Let me tell us, no sane man will choose his wife over his mother, because the wife was not there when his mother conceived him, gave birth to him, breasfed him, trained him, have so many sleepless nighs because of him, sent him to school to become who he is now for you to see, admire and marry. No wife was there when the mother was washing the man's dirty clothes, even using bare hands to wash faeces with which he soiled himself, when the mother spent days in hospital when sick to make sure the man is in good health and shape. No wife was there when the mother wakes in the middle of the night to talk and advise his son on ways of life, on how to be a good child to her parents, a good person in the society, a good employee to his employer, a good employer to his employees, a good father to his children and a good husband to his wife. Now, it's the mother that the wife is now waging war against. Nooooo wayyyyyy.
Honestly, i don't know reason why there is usually rancour between DILs and MILs, if for anything, these old women deserves our respect, appreciation and to be made happy, at least for making these our husbands marriageable, abi, if they were not born, can we get married to them.

So, my fellow women, if you don't want to sadden yourself, stop asking your men to choose between you and his mother, because he would definately choose his mother. And for those who usually say, "then let him take his mother to bed", abeg, everything is not only about bed in marriage. For those who will say, "then let his mother prepare him food, remember, he has been eating his mother's food before meeting and marrying you. For those who will say, "then, let his mother bare him children", remember, the children are not only his, they're yours as well.

Let all DILs remember that they are also potential MILs and that whatever they sow as a DIL, they will reap them when they also become MIL.
Let us cultivate the habit of loving our MILs, appreciate them and stop unnecessary rivalry with them. Many of them are becoming old already, so, we need to remember that old age usually make someone to be eccentric. So, let' treat them as if they are our mother, which i believe they are. Atleast, someone who is old enough to be our spouse' mother is also fit to be our mother.
As for me, i have the most wonderful MIL in the whole world. I cherish her, adore her, love her greatly and i get the best of her, even my husband and his siblings do jealous of me.

Anytime there's a cause for all of us, me, hubby and mama, to be in a car, i open the front door for mama myself to sit, this singular act, i have been criticised of so many times, but, is it not for just one or few days, and i see that she usually love it each time i do that. She rains blessings on me as if there is no other day. I pamper her(but truth be said, she pampers me more).
See, my fellow women, this is a secret, if you want the best from your man, love his mother and you will never regret doing so.
God bless us all.
For those who will condemn this, i think i'm no longer a novice in marriage. This is my 10th year of marriage, and it's just like yesterday, we're just starting anyway, and everyday of our marriage has always been better than the previous day.

This also goes to the men who usually asks their wives to choose between them and their mothers.

P. S
DIL....daughter-in-law.
MIL....mother-in-law.

God bless us all.

YES! She can still give birth!

And then, that assurance does not mean you shouldn't visit the hospital for necessary series of tests, including if she's truly and completely okay and free from any form of infection.
However, ask the mods to help you move this thread to health section for more responses.

Build house
Build mosque
From how much gangan na?

Abeg, option 3 please.



@Tehn, Thanks for all your effort, weldone. May you be rewarded accordingly. Amen

CaptPlanet:
You no dey curse or abuse but u had to call him a silly bastard to pass your message.
B/w his first post abt the girl and this post of urs which one's worse?

And u call someone a hypocrite...smh

with due respect, read and re-read that my post again for easy understanding. God forbid i call someone a hypoctite or a bastard. I was only asking why he caiied me those ill names just because i asked him to show empathy.
Just as i said, i'm saying again. I do not abuse or curse, whether online or offline, it does not worth it.

credibleGod:

so, this is all you have to say/do.
Laughing at your own foolishness.
See, you need to know how i'm pitying you. The suffer wey you go suffer for this, ehn, dey do serious press-up.
O maa je moyo iya.
Lazy bone!
You better come and do what i advise you and tender an open/public apology.

sassygal:
I usually wouldn't do this but op, why is the picture of your brother in warri the same as the picture found here http://saharareporters.com/2014/02/26/after-boarding-school-massacre-nigerian-senate-orders-army-north-east

Was he also at the boarding school massacre at yobe?

Na question I ask o! No vex. I follow gboliwe do investigation

Lobatan............
Chai!!!
I'm still going to ask the same question i asked in my first post on this thread........
Has it gotten to this



@op, Just because you are lazy and desperately want to harvest from where you didn't sow, you lied and wish your parents and siblings a terrible death by bomb blast and you stole a 13-14 years old boy picture on the internet to deceive and scam people, you're not even intelligent and smart with it, calling everyone names and raining curses like you're a rain maker, na wa o, how i wish i know you personally and give you a resounding and thunderous dirty slap. Wait o, what if your parents get to know that you did this great evil against them, did you even think about the aftermath of this your action. See, listen, there's dignity in labour, come on, wake up, rise up and hussle, get out and get your hands dirty with legal job. That you see someone who is sick and helpless being financially assisted does not mean you that is able and agile should be entitled to such an assistance. See, you have just pronounced evil on your own head, ask God to forgive you and everyone here, or else, by the time the repercussions come, don't blame your village people for being after you or your progress. Wake up with the same strenght you have used here to work, at least you used 3 different monikers here, just to scam people, use the same strenght and brain to find something meaningful to do, time is going, you're older today that you were yesterday, stop wasting you time, there is no crime and shame in hussling. Very many people here are also husslers, if you hear what some other people are going through just to put food opn the table for their family,you'll pity them, but they never resorted to scamming. I know someone here who is just a pure water seller in a popular motor park, yet, she's happy with her life, everybody respects her for her dignity, she's even one of the people who assists here, claiming that she's using that to thank God...........pure water seller o, but you, you'll rather scam people than to work with all dignity. Honestly, i pity you and generations that will come through you.
Before i go, just come on this thread, and offer a profond apology for trying to scam forumites here with your main and alternative monikers here. Ask them to forgive you and pray for you and promise that you will never resort to such again no matter what.
A word is enough for the wise, provided you wish and desire to be wise.
May God forgive you and lead you aright.

Only in Nigeria!
Imagine, the structure was built in 1955 and new one is not opened because it hasn't been inaugurated.

When actually are we going to get anything right in this country

credibleGod:
he is 25 years old
thanks.

and the boy you showed his picture in that your first post on this thread is 25 years old?

he he he, i no fit laugh abeg, just continue.

steppin:
Damn you!
I just aired my fricking opinion!
Why are there so many hypocrites all over NL?
It's her life, not mine. She can sleep around with hundred men, it's none of my business.
You're quick to drag my family into this, but the moment I do the same, you cry foul.
Take your time and stay the hell away from my post.

hypocrite

na wa oh!
upon what now?
Just because I asked you to show love and empathy?
Me I no dey abuse nor curse o.
Online or offline.
It's really uncalled for.
Anyway, I love you with the love of God and will never wish you encounter such with any of your family members.
Though, it's her life but not something to be proud or happy with, hence, the empathy.

steppin:
Seems she just tasted the forbidden truth and she's been giving cheerfully.
God loves a cheerful giver, you know.

And can you say the same that God loves a cheerful giver if your daughter/sister is the one involved?

And where is her mother in all this.

I still maintain that she needs counselling.

@op, you said fearfully made, instead of you to pity her, you said she's fearfully made. The young lady needs a lot counseling and advice.

@op, how many monikers are you going to use on this thread alone?

Activa:
From my observation.

Most married men nowadays have girlfriends
Many young girls nowadays date married men, even when they know

the thread is about those who do not know that the man wooing them is married.

Damitism:
I think it was a mistake coming here again. Accept my apology!!!

A proud person like you may not get any assistance from here. If you want people you don't know and who doesn't know you to assist you with their hard-earned money, you have to be humble and be ready to answer questions.
What the poster you quoted and replied with this your post i'm quoting asked you is not too much and does not at all warrant this type of response, except you believe that once you ask for financial assistance, you should just be given the money without any question or suggestions directed at you, which i don't believe is possible.

@op, it's caused by pregnancy related hormones.
Although, it's not everybody that experience such hormonal changes, it depends on individual metabolim. What she can do to reduce the spitting is to always have raw ginger handy all the time. Chewing the gingers helps to reduce the spitting, it also helps to treat/prevent nausea.
Ginger is not expensive, she can use #50 ginger for 2 weeks, and it does not have any side effect.
Also, tell her to drink more water always to make up for the missed body fluids
You can goggle more on the usefulness of ginger.

Why is the paint put at the reach of the kids

Activa:
There is no point telling us d signs..

Many girls even prefer married men.

Rings no dey scare many girls again.

are you talking from experience as a married man or as a single lady

@op, this one you're exposing these men like this.......diaris God ooooooooo

Honestly, what does it cost some women to dress decently

Why is he ranting?
Is he suffering from inferiority complex

Because he was actually great in that native attire.

MTN is from south africa, right?
See the way they're ridiculing Nigerians. Or isn't this ridiculous......#10 recharge card
God dey!

Happy birthday RR!
Wishing you every good and beautiful things you wish yourself.




Jeffizy......happy birthday to you too.

delishpot:
I ask myself same. and I skipped some o.

pele

Now that you know that those methods are not good, please, don't use it on your kids o.
Thank God we now know better, we now know that kids should not be exposed to violence and abuse.

@op, nails pinching and carrying of grinding stone while kneeling down.

Elsquidme:
really?

really

As far as i'm concerned, there is no harm in his question. I wouldn't have taken it easy on him, if because of his wife's condition, he is or about to do away match. He could be a first time dad, and could as well have high libido, there is no fault of his in all that, his question shows he's not willing to cheat on his wife, regardless of his high libido, which is commendable to some extent. If his wife agrees, i'm still on my first post on this thread.


And for those saying upon what the wife has gone through, what if it's the wife that is demanding for it, at least, i know some couples who resume to bedroom activities faster than what is expected, based on wife's demand. There's even a particular couple who resumed just after 10 days, and it was the wife that initiated it. Does that means the wife doesn't know what she has gone through?
Abeg, each to his own.
No two marriages are the same, let every couple enjoy their marriage the best way they could.
May God help us all.

Sorry for being harsh!

You really don't know what you want, if you do, you wouldn't be here asking which one to marry.

@op, if you're not the same person as jayandy, how were you able to modify his post and removed his transfer details he claims to send to you.


You just exposed yourself big time.


And you know what, instead of being angry with you, at least for all the curses you're raining on good people here, i'm kind of pitying you, because, you don't know the gravity of curses you're heaping on yourself.

I wish you goodluck o and speedy recovery to you/your brother.....whoever it is.

Elsquidme:
After conception, 9months of pregnancy, after childbirth and 2months or so maybe in the process of childbirth, the infant tears her which means no sex for some months to allow it heal. My question goes to Fathers, How do u cope during those times, fullfilling your conjugal rights?

it's not necessary you must insert whenever you want to make love with your wife, explore every other means and use your or her hand for finishing touches.


#hopeyouunderstand

If he didn't dress like that, will you be talking about him and his dressing now?

So to him, you're helping him to accomplish his mission.