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Nairaland General › Re: How Do I Stop Caring About What People Say About Me by Hamachi(f): 5:20pm On Jul 26, 2025
How to Stop Letting People’s Opinions Weigh You Down

1. People will judge no matter what – so live on your own terms.
2. Not all opinions matter – only value feedback from people who genuinely care about you.
3. Pause before reacting – remind yourself their opinion is not fact.
4. Limit exposure – reduce time with negative people or social media.
5. Affirm yourself daily – speak positivity into your mind every morning.
6. Even great people get dragged – you’re not alone.
7. It’s a process – you get stronger with time and practice.

Take back control. Don’t hand people the remote to your peace.
Christianoir:
I see people saying you shouldn’t care about what people say but I’ve been trying it not working because people might say bad thing about me and I will start thinking about it for days

How do I get that I don’t care attitude
I know inot possible not to care but at least I don’t want people opinions to weigh we down

How do you guys do it
Please suggest guys
It weighing me down embarassed
Romance › Re: Lady Tells Men What To Do When Women Display Their Bodies On Social Media by Hamachi(f): 5:17pm On Jul 26, 2025
7upnigeria:
You took your time to write all of these?

They are building "BRANDS!". Shey na yansh be the brand?

Anybody using shaking of body/ yansh to build a brand will need that body or yansh to sustain it WHICH IS EQUAL TO PROSTITUTION.
First of all, calm down — not every woman shaking yansh is selling it.

Yes, some women build brands with their bodies — just like some men build theirs with fake flex, rented cars, and empty motivational quotes. Everyone’s marketing something these days — but don’t confuse visibility with prostitution.

When a fitness coach posts body content, is she selling sex or promoting health?
When a dancer posts moves online, is that prostitution or talent?

You see yansh, we see audience. You see seduction, we see strategy.
That’s the difference between people who think with sense and those who react with insecurity.

Let’s be real: If shaking body automatically equals prostitution, then strip clubs and Instagram are the same thing — and they’re not.

Some of your faves in entertainment, Nollywood, and even politics used charm, body, and charisma to rise. Are they all prostitutes too?

Bottom line: If you think every confident, body-positive woman is selling herself, maybe the problem isn’t her brand — maybe it’s the poverty of your mindset
Romance › Re: Lady Tells Men What To Do When Women Display Their Bodies On Social Media by Hamachi(f): 5:12pm On Jul 26, 2025
Ah, so now women shaking waist online are the downfall of society? Please.

Let’s not pretend like the "good old days" were heaven on earth. That so-called “age of moral responsibility” you’re romanticizing?
That was the era where women were seen but not heard, married off at 14, and told to stay with cheating husbands "for the children." You call that honour? That was oppression with better packaging.

You say women today are "brands" — but who’s doing the buying and selling? It’s the same men pretending to be victims of modern times while jumping from woman to woman like they’re shopping on Jumia.

Don’t drag women for being visible and expressive in the digital age when it’s men like FFK that treat marriage like a subscription plan — cancel anytime, no refund.

And by the way, peace of mind didn’t come from women being silenced. It came from them being afraid to speak up.
This generation is not morally bankrupt — it's just no longer afraid to expose double standards.

So if you miss the old days so much, maybe go back there — but don’t expect applause when you do.
7upnigeria:
Ms logic, I don't really belong to this age of moral decadence where women BEHAVE and are THEREFORE TREATED as commodities for money exchange. And thats why its easy for a guy to "FALL IN LOVE" with a waist-shaking BRAND online today and throw her away latest 5 years after that meeting, and then move on to the NEXT BRAND that money can buy, which is the practice of people like FFK, Frank Edoho etc. I belong and still believe in that age of moral responsibility that brought peace of mind to our local societies which also gave MORE HONOUR to women
Respectfully, your nostalgia is selective and misleading.
You speak of a so-called “age of moral responsibility” that supposedly gave “more honour to women,” but history doesn’t support this fantasy.

In that “honourable” age:

- Women were often denied education and basic rights.
- Many were married off as teenagers — not out of love, but as part of family bargains.
- Domestic violence was tolerated, even normalized.
- Men cheated freely while women were expected to “endure.”

So, what exactly was honourable about that?

The truth is: the problem isn’t waist-shaking or social media. It’s how people choose to view and treat others.
Women shaking their bodies online are not the problem — the mindset that reduces them to mere brands or transactions is.

As for FFK or Frank Edoho — their relationship choices are personal, not moral yardsticks.
If a man discards a woman after five years, that says more about his character than about her waist.

And finally, moral responsibility isn’t tied to any era. It lives in individuals — both in 1965 and in 2025. There are honourable women and men today, just as there were wicked ones in the past. The difference is, today women have the voice to call it out.
Romance › Re: Ladies Have You Almost Dated Married Man Who Acted Single? How Did You Discover? by Hamachi(f): 5:02pm On Jul 26, 2025
Wow! What a thread!
Romance › Re: Lady Tells Men What To Do When Women Display Their Bodies On Social Media by Hamachi(f): 5:00pm On Jul 26, 2025
7upnigeria:
You took your time to write all of these?

Not enough original content
Yes, I took my time, because critical thinking deserves more than recycled hot takes and emotional outbursts. If you’re looking for originality, try facts mixed with logic. That’s rare these days, especially from those who only know how to sound loud, not sound right. Have a wonderful weekend!
Romance › Re: What Old-time Pre-marital And Extra-marital Sex May Cause You Today. by Hamachi(f): 4:57pm On Jul 26, 2025
Nappsy:
Continue dey defend

Lawyer ikpama
"Oga Lawyer Ikpama, calm down. Nobody is dragging wig with you. You're just intimidated by facts presented with intelligence, not emotions. If truth sounds like an attack to you, maybe you should question the strength of your argument—not the person presenting it."
Romance › Re: Lady Tells Men What To Do When Women Display Their Bodies On Social Media by Hamachi(f): 4:53pm On Jul 26, 2025
While @Arianacrush949 may be expressing frustration with certain online behaviors, reducing every woman who dances or "shakes yansh" on social media to a commodity "for sale" is a harmful generalization, rooted in misogyny and lack of understanding of digital culture, self-expression, and economics.

1. Dancing or expressing sexuality online ≠ prostitution
Fact: A 2022 Pew Research study on digital expression shows that over 60% of women who post dance or fashion videos do so as a form of self-expression, fitness, entertainment, or influencer branding — not solicitation. TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook Reels are platforms built around performance, and dance content ranks among the top 3 most-watched categories globally (Statista, 2023).

Many popular female influencers from Nigeria (e.g., Janemena, Liquorose) are dancers or entertainers, not sex workers. They're building brands, not selling bodies.


2. Respecting bodily autonomy is basic human decency
Saying “price her” because she dances implies women lose their right to dignity because of how they dress or move. That’s like saying a man showing abs is automatically a gigolo.

UN Women reports that sexual objectification leads to increased gender-based violence and online harassment, especially in Africa where cultural norms are often misinterpreted.


3. Not all attention is sexual – many men and women admire, without desiring
Surveys by YouGov (2021) show that over 70% of social media users follow creators for content — not for sexual interest or solicitation. A man asking "have you eaten?" may genuinely care. Assuming that kindness is misplaced because of how someone dances reduces human interaction to transactions, which is unhealthy.

4. Economically, female influencers earn more from partnerships than “pricing”
Influencers like Papaya Ex, Priscilla Ojo, or Nancy Isime make millions of naira monthly through ads, shoutouts, affiliate links, and brand deals — not from selling sex. Suggesting that women on social media are “for sale” ignores their entrepreneurial power in Nigeria’s growing creator economy (worth over ₦20 billion annually).

Instead of labeling and demeaning women who express themselves freely online, we should acknowledge the diversity of intent behind social media behavior. Some dance for fun, some for money, some for art — but none deserve to be automatically dehumanized or priced.

Let’s move away from judgment and toward understanding and mutual respect.

ediko5:
A Nigerian lady @Arianacrush949 have adviced men on social media not to waste their time to ask ladies who shake their bum bum on social media questions.

According to her;
Any yansh wey dey shake for social media Na for sale, price am.
No go ask am have you eaten o.
Price am straight up
Romance › Re: What Old-time Pre-marital And Extra-marital Sex May Cause You Today. by Hamachi(f): 4:48pm On Jul 26, 2025
Actually, there’s no biblical record or historical evidence that King Solomon died at age 50. The Bible never states Solomon’s exact age at death — that’s speculation passed down through tradition, not fact.

Here’s what we do know:

Solomon reigned for 40 years (1 Kings 11:42).

He became king as a young adult, likely around age 20 (based on 1 Kings 3:7 where he refers to himself as "a little child" in experience, not age). That means he likely died around age 60 or older, which was a respectable lifespan in ancient times.

Also, regarding God “leaving him” — yes, the Bible says Solomon turned to foreign gods in his later years (1 Kings 11:4-10), and God became displeased. But it never says God struck him down or that his death was punishment. In fact:

God allowed Solomon to live out his reign in peace. Judgment was postponed until after Solomon’s death — the kingdom was divided during his son Rehoboam's time (1 Kings 11:12).

So saying “he died at 50” or “God left him and he ended in waste” is not supported by facts.

Solomon’s story is complex. He made mistakes, but he also left behind Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and the Song of Songs — texts full of wisdom. His life wasn’t a waste; it was a mirror of human imperfection, power, and the consequences of choices — like many of us today.
ZombieDredd:
You do realize Solomon died at 55, very very premature.
God left him...

What's the point of all that money and wisdom only to die at 55..

What a waste!
Romance › Re: What Old-time Pre-marital And Extra-marital Sex May Cause You Today. by Hamachi(f): 4:46pm On Jul 26, 2025
asiga:
It is even people who engaged in premarital and extramarital sex that makes it bigger these days and even in the days of old.

King Solomon is my witness. Them plenty.
True, people have always engaged in premarital and extramarital sex — even in the Bible. King Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines, so yes, it’s nothing new. But here’s the twist: it’s often the same people who indulge in it that later start preaching the loudest about the “consequences.”

They make sex seem heavier than it is, turning personal choices into community panic. They spiritualize everything, even when the real issue is just poor decisions or lack of self-control. Let’s be honest — it’s not sex that ruins lives; it’s hypocrisy, silence, and judgment.

Sex is not the problem — it's how people react to it. If society normalized honest conversations over fear and guilt, many wouldn't fall into unnecessary shame or secret struggles.
Romance › Re: What Old-time Pre-marital And Extra-marital Sex May Cause You Today. by Hamachi(f): 4:44pm On Jul 26, 2025
cutecommend:
Hope you are not trying to console yourself. Avoid sexual consequences.
Let’s be real — sex isn’t the sacred, untouchable topic it once was. In today’s Nigeria, it's not just happening behind closed doors; it’s practically on display. From the streets of Lagos to the corners of TikTok and Instagram, it’s obvious that sex has become casual, even transactional. You can literally buy it in broad daylight — it’s no longer a mystery or something rare.

Social media mirrors the society we live in. From influencers flaunting seductive content to open conversations about hookup culture, it’s clear that times have changed. Whether you like it or not, sex has been normalized, commercialized, and even glamorized. So painting it as this deeply consequential act for everyone might be out of touch with the reality most young people are living today.
Science/Technology › Re: This Joke Might Be True In The Future If We Allow GMO Take Over Our Soil by Hamachi(f): 4:42pm On Jul 26, 2025
ScamDemicEra:
... of course a rag tag Boko Haram existed long ago but do you think late Yussuf's Boko Haram have anything to do with the 2014+ sophisticated Boko Haram ??

The powers that be do this all the time to fool the gullible.
Yes, Boko Haram under Mohammed Yusuf started as a local radical group. But suggesting the group's later sophistication (post-2014) was purely staged by “powers that be” to push a GMO agenda oversimplifies a complex crisis and shifts focus from real, urgent issues.

1. Terrorism in the North isn’t about GMOs — it’s about power, poverty, and failed governance.

The insurgency grew because of poverty, poor governance, ethnic tensions, and weak state institutions, not to push biotech crops. Boko Haram has targeted schools, markets, farms, and infrastructure, causing widespread displacement and hunger. The conflict’s impact on food security is real — but not proof of a GMO conspiracy.

2. GMOs were being developed in Nigeria before the insurgency escalated.
Research on Bt cotton and Bt cowpea began in the 2000s — long before the insurgency intensified in 2014. These were developed by local institutions like the Institute for Agricultural Research (IAR), not Western companies. Claiming terror is used to push GMOs ignores decades of local effort to solve food insecurity through science.

3. If there's a real plan, it’s to weaken Nigeria via food insecurity — but rejecting GMO worsens that.

Over 1.3 million hectares of farmland in the North can’t be used due to insecurity. That's the real danger. GMOs like drought-resistant maize or insect-resistant cowpea are tools that can help rebuild local food production, reduce imports, and cut hunger. Resisting all GMO tech based on fear plays right into the hands of those who benefit from our hunger and dependency.

Yes, Boko Haram evolved — but linking that evolution to a secret GMO agenda ignores real facts and delays solutions. We should focus on restoring security and embracing safe, local innovations that secure Nigeria’s food future — not push fear-based theories.
Science/Technology › Re: This Joke Might Be True In The Future If We Allow GMO Take Over Our Soil by Hamachi(f): 4:39pm On Jul 26, 2025
CyracksMrBlogger:
here is the truth nobody cares to know. We are so dull in this part of the world
We’re not dull — we’re underserved, misrepresented, and often let down by poor systems, not lack of intelligence.

Africans have produced world-class thinkers, innovators, and leaders. What we need isn’t more shame — it’s better opportunities, stronger systems, and belief in ourselves.

Insulting ourselves solves nothing. Empowering each other does.
Science/Technology › Re: This Joke Might Be True In The Future If We Allow GMO Take Over Our Soil by Hamachi(f): 4:37pm On Jul 26, 2025
1. GMOs are not banned in Europe — they are strictly regulated. Many EU countries import and consume GMOs, especially for animal feed.

2. Scientific consensus says GMOs are safe — top bodies like WHO, EFSA, and the US National Academy of Sciences agree there's no credible evidence GMOs are harmful.

3. GMOs benefit food security — they increase yields, reduce pesticide use, and support drought-resistant farming, especially in Africa.

4. Many countries accept GMOs — over 70 nations grow or import them, including Nigeria, Brazil, USA, and South Africa.

5. Not all GMOs are corporate-owned — public institutions in Nigeria and across Africa also develop local GMO crops like Bt cowpea.

6. Food sovereignty comes from self-reliance, not rejecting science. Growing GMO crops locally reduces dependency on imports.

Bottom line: GMOs are regulated, not banned globally, and they can help African nations grow more food with fewer resources when responsibly used.
jadyclem:
You're being deceptive. GMOs are banned in most European countries. Countries that previously accepted the GMO have all reversed their pro GMO laws and banned it.
Y'all should research of the dangers of GMOs before you ignorantly sell yourself and generations back into slavery.
Whoever controls your food controls your health, survival and existence. This is not a joking matter
Science/Technology › Re: This Joke Might Be True In The Future If We Allow GMO Take Over Our Soil by Hamachi(f): 4:35pm On Jul 26, 2025
ednut1:
we are already eating GMO food, the cassava, corn and tomatoes we eat in nigeria has been modified to be resitant to insects/diseases and improve yield. The issue is GMO seeds which cannot be replanted and you need to keep buying from specific companies
Is that the reason when you finish washing beans before cooking , the beans water 💦 no dey smell like before again?
Science/Technology › Re: This Joke Might Be True In The Future If We Allow GMO Take Over Our Soil by Hamachi(f): 4:32pm On Jul 26, 2025
Here’s grounded in facts & data

🔍 1. Security Crisis in Benue Is Rooted in Local, Not Foreign, Factors
Historical Context: The farmer-herder clashes in Benue date back decades and are driven primarily by climate change, land pressure, population growth, and weak security architecture—not foreign intervention.

According to the International Crisis Group (ICG) and Amnesty International, the violence is often triggered by competition over dwindling land and water resources, worsened by open grazing and desertification in the North. Nigeria’s own failure to implement a consistent grazing policy (like ranching) has deepened the crisis. In 2021, over 3,600 Nigerians were killed in farmer-herder conflicts. Most of these killings occurred in the Middle Belt and were intragroup disputes, not acts of foreign sabotage.
(Source: SBM Intelligence, 2021)


2. Food Supply Decline Not Exclusive to Benue
Nigeria's overall agricultural production has declined due to:

1. Insecurity (banditry in Zamfara, terrorism in Borno, kidnappings in Niger/Kaduna)

2. Flooding (2022 floods destroyed over 500,000 hectares of farmland nationwide)

3. Inflation and subsidy removal, not just events in Benue.
The National Bureau of Statistics (NBS) reports that Nigeria’s agriculture GDP declined from 2.05% growth in Q1 2023 to -0.90% in Q2 2023, driven by broader national challenges. So it’s incorrect to isolate Benue as the singular domino threatening national food security.

3. GMO Introduction Is a Nigerian Policy Debate, Not a Western Imposition

Nigeria, through the National Biosafety Management Agency (NBMA), approved the commercial release of GMOs like Bt Cotton (2018) and Bt Cowpea (Beans) (2019) after local trials by Nigerian scientists—not under duress from the West. Nigerian institutions such as IAR (Institute for Agricultural Research) and NABDA (National Biotechnology Development Agency) lead these efforts.
GMO cowpea was developed in Nigeria by Nigerians in collaboration with African and international researchers under the African Agricultural Technology Foundation (AATF), not Western corporations.

4. Many African Countries Reject GMO, Yet Still Face Food Crisis
Countries like Tanzania, Zambia, and Ethiopia have banned GMOs, yet still struggle with food insecurity and inflation. GMO use does not correlate with increased Western control. In fact, nations like India, Brazil, and Argentina use GMOs extensively while maintaining strong food sovereignty.

5. The Real Threat Is Not GMO – It’s Policy Failure and Poor Governance

Nigeria’s food insecurity is driven by:

- Lack of storage infrastructure (over 40% of crops perish post-harvest)
- Poor rural roads and market access
- Limited credit to smallholder farmers
- Continued insecurity across food-producing zones

Nigeria invests less than 2% of its budget on agriculture, far below the Maputo Declaration target of 10% agreed by African Union members.

While suspicion toward foreign motives is understandable, the claim that the West is orchestrating the killings in Benue to introduce GMOs lacks evidence. It distracts from the true culprits: poor governance, climate pressures, and internal security failures. We don’t need fearmongering about GMOs—we need data-driven agriculture policies, investments in rural security, and support for local farming innovations.

Let’s blame the right problems—and solve them.
IyaTola:
How the West is Using Killings in Benue to Destroy Nigeria’s Food Supply and Introduce GMO

Deep in the heart of Nigeria lies Benue State, often referred to as the “Food Basket of the Nation.” From yam to cassava, rice to vegetables, Benue has long been the agricultural backbone of the country. But what if the relentless killings in this region weren’t just random acts of violence or farmer-herder clashes? What if they are part of a deliberate, international plot?

Here's the theory:

Step 1: Destabilize the Food Basket
Over the past decade, Benue has witnessed escalating attacks on farmers and rural communities. Entire villages wiped out. Farmlands abandoned. Year after year, the attacks intensify—but strangely, no lasting solution is ever enforced. Why?

Sources suggest that these violent incursions may be orchestrated to systematically wipe out indigenous farming activity, making local food production impossible. If Benue cannot farm, Nigeria will starve—or at least experience severe food shortages.

Step 2: Create a Food Crisis
With Benue in chaos, food prices skyrocket across the nation. Yam becomes gold. Tomatoes become luxury. The masses cry out for relief. The government scrambles. Then—like a well-timed savior—the West steps in.

Western NGOs, biotech corporations, and donor agencies start offering “solutions”:

“We’ll donate seeds.”

“We have high-yield, pest-resistant crops.”

“Our GMO maize and rice can feed 10 times more.”

“We can help you rebuild your agriculture.”

But there's a catch: those seeds are genetically modified, and with them come strings attached.

Step 3: Hook Nigeria on GMOs
Accepting GMO seeds often means:

Dependency on foreign seed companies every planting season.

Loss of native seed sovereignty.

Introduction of patents, where farmers can be sued for saving seeds.

Erosion of local farming knowledge in favor of lab-created agriculture.

Soon, Nigeria becomes hooked on genetically modified food—just like much of the Global South.

Step 4: Control the Food, Control the Nation
If you control a nation’s food supply, you control its people, its policy, and its future. With Nigeria dependent on foreign biotech firms for seeds and food stability, the West gains unprecedented influence over the largest Black nation on earth.

Benue—once the proud heart of Nigeria’s food independence—is turned into a testing ground for lab crops.

Is it coincidence that Benue, of all places, continues to burn while the rest of the world pushes GMO agriculture on Africa? Or is there something deeper—a coordinated economic warfare disguised as humanitarian aid?

Stay woke. Follow the seeds. The truth is buried in the soil.
Romance › Re: What Old-time Pre-marital And Extra-marital Sex May Cause You Today. by Hamachi(f): 4:25pm On Jul 26, 2025
cutecommend:
What Old-time Pre-marital And Extra-marital Sex May Cause You Today.
I disagree
1. Correlation is not Causation
Just because something bad happens after a sexual experience doesn't mean the sex caused it. Life is complex—career stagnation, infertility, relationship delays, and other issues often have scientific, psychological, or social explanations, not supernatural roots.

Failing a visa paternity test isn't about karma—it's about honesty and timing. If there's betrayal, the issue is trust, not "spiritual sex scars." A man who doesn’t progress in life may need upskilling, therapy, or better opportunities—not spiritual deliverance for sex with a married woman.


2. Fertility and Health Have Medical Reasons
Claims that a condom was used for rituals and caused future infertility are baseless medically. Male fertility can be affected by things like:

Low sperm count

Hormonal imbalance

Smoking, alcohol, untreated STIs—not spiritual women or “evil sex.”

Instead of blaming past partners, people should get medical check-ups and adopt healthy lifestyles.

3. No One Can Steal Your Destiny by Sex
The idea that someone can "take your glory or stars" by sleeping with you is rooted in fear, not faith or fact. In truth:

Your choices, faith, mindset, skills, and relationships shape your destiny. Many people who made sexual mistakes have gone on to build great marriages, careers, and lives. No occultic partner has the power to permanently hijack your purpose unless you give up on yourself.

4. Fear-based Morality is Harmful
While it’s wise to be sexually responsible, spreading fear about sex leading to spiritual curses, being unmarriageable, or “ending with one car” causes:

Shame

Anxiety

Poor mental health

It also distracts from the real conversations about consent, STIs, emotional consequences, and self-worth.

5. Faith Encourages Redemption, Not Condemnation
Even in Christianity and other faiths, redemption, forgiveness, and restoration are central. A woman who lost her virginity isn’t barred from greatness. A man who made sexual mistakes isn't cursed forever. God's purpose is not that fragile—and if it was truly divine, no human could “snatch” it away through sex. Sexual mistakes can have consequences—emotional, relational, or medical—but they are not mystical death sentences. What matters is:

Learning from them

Getting help when needed

Making better decisions going forward


Instead of pushing fear and shame, we should teach sexual responsibility, personal growth, and hope for restoration—because everyone deserves a second chance.
Fashion › Re: Your Take On Ladies With Waist Bead by Hamachi(f):
Read this lady's Story https://www.nairaland.com/5207293/story-cult-phase-included/288#91859085
pencillite1:
Is waist bead wearing mere fashion or it has more to it ?
While waist beads have deep cultural roots, their modern usage — especially among younger generations and on social media — has shifted significantly toward fashion and aesthetics, often detaching them from their original meanings.

1. Loss of Traditional Meaning
Today, many women wear waist beads without any knowledge of their cultural or spiritual significance. For them, it’s purely an accessory — similar to bracelets or anklets. In urban and globalized societies, the ritual or spiritual context is often ignored or forgotten.

2. Commercialization and Trend Culture
Waist beads are now mass-produced and sold in markets, online stores, and fashion shops — often stripped of any symbolic value. Influencers and fashionistas promote them as trendy body jewelry, reducing them to visual appeal rather than cultural artifacts.

3. Cross-Cultural Adoption Without Context
Non-African or diasporic communities increasingly wear waist beads as part of bohemian or exotic fashion trends, often with no link to African spirituality or tradition. This cultural dilution turns a sacred or symbolic practice into a style statement for mass consumption.

4. Sexual Objectification
In some cases, waist beads are worn just to appear sexy or attract attention, especially on social media or in romantic relationships. This oversexualization overshadows the deeper meanings and reduces them to tools of seduction or sensual display.

5. Inconsistency in Usage
People mix and match waist beads of random colors or meanings without understanding their traditional symbolism. This inconsistency shows that for many users, fashion and appearance are the primary motivations — not spirituality, culture, or health.

Though waist beads have historical and cultural significance, their modern-day usage is largely fashion-driven. Most wearers today focus on aesthetics, sensuality, and trendiness — often disconnected from the traditional values they once represented. For many, waist beads have become just another accessory.
Romance › Re: Most Men Can't Stand A Successful Lady by Hamachi(f): 7:35pm On Jul 11, 2025
Dear Men

If you choose a working woman, accept that she cannot be a full time housekeeper, if you choose a house wife accept that you will need to pay for everything, if you choose a submissive woman, accept that she would look to your for leadership and you need to know where you are going and if you choose a *strong woman*, accept that hat sur has her own thoughts, her own ways and she would challenge you, you cannot cherry pick a part of a woman benefits your the most, whilst ignoring the reality that comes with them. Pick your own lane and handle what comes with it
Education › Re: Three Generations In Wigs: Lady Become Lawyer Like Mum & Grandmum by Hamachi(f): 3:05pm On Jul 11, 2025
Dear Men

If you choose a working woman, accept that she cannot be a full time housekeeper, if you choose a *house wife* accept that you will need to pay for everything, if you choose a *submissive woman*, accept that she would look to your for leadership and you need to know where you are going and if you choose a *strong woman*, accept that hat sur has her own thoughts, her own ways and she would challenge you, you cannot cherry pick a part of a woman benefits your the most, whilst ignoring the reality that comes with them. Pick your own lane and handle what comes with it
Family › Re: Is Everything Okay With Me? by Hamachi(op): 2:55pm On Jul 09, 2025
immortalcrown:
An account with a female profile and the picture of a female as the display photo posing as a husband?

But let me respond as if you are real..The economy is harsh. Cost of living is rising everyday. If your family mainly depends on your income, 500k will not go as far as giving you savings, especially if you pay house rent and transport yourself to and fro your workplace.
This was from my DM and so not my story. Thank you IC.
Family › Re: Is Everything Okay With Me? by Hamachi(op): 2:54pm On Jul 09, 2025
Kobojunkie:
. You are a one-income family of 6 living in Nigeria where a family of your size should be making at least Naira 1.5 - 2 million a month to be considered at least OK, not comfortable. What do you expect? undecided
Thank you for your input a d I really do appreciate.
Family › Is Everything Okay With Me? by Hamachi(op): 8:36pm On Jul 08, 2025
Good Evening

Please I earn 400k per month I cannot boost of 5k after the month end. I have four (kids) and I am 32. Wife is a petty trader and nothing much is coming from her business. No investment yet, nothing is really working out for me. Is everything okay with me

Please advise me
Travel › Re: What Is The Worst Country You Have Ever Been To by Hamachi(f): 9:16am On Jun 21, 2025
ComeToJesus:
India - Food preparation there can make you vomit. Their lack of hygiene is organic.

Togo- fetishism reigns there..
Yeah! You are right about the Togo. Most of their population are traditionalist.
Travel › Re: What Is The Worst Country You Have Ever Been To by Hamachi(f): 9:14am On Jun 21, 2025
STENON:
Agadir in Morocco cheesy. Nothing is right in that country, starting from their food to their hotels. Flies just full everywhere and I was thinking even my Naija country better pass this agege Morocco!!!
Na Village you visit for Morocco. I am not sure Agadir is on Google map
Travel › Re: What Is The Worst Country You Have Ever Been To by Hamachi(f): 10:47pm On Jun 20, 2025
Burkina Faso, Papua New Guinea, and Togo.

- Burkina Faso: While it's true that Burkina Faso faces development challenges, it's also a country with rich cultural heritage and natural resources. Efforts are being made to improve infrastructure and living standards.
- Papua New Guinea: PNG is a diverse country with many cultures and traditions. While cannibalism has been practiced in some areas, it's not widespread. Port Moresby is indeed a major city, but there's more to PNG than its capital.
- Togo: Togo has made progress in recent years, but like many countries, it still faces challenges. Infrastructure development is ongoing, and the country has potential for growth.

Regarding electricity, unfortunately, none of these countries has constant electricity. Burkina Faso, PNG, and Togo all face energy challenges, including limited access to electricity and frequent outages.

These countries have unique strengths and challenges, and there's more to each nation than initial experience.
Ibadanfarmroad:
Burkina faso.
I was shocked at the underdevelopment and how kids smoke cigarettes with reckless abandon.

Pappua new guinea.
Spent 1 month and travelled over 10 cities, i needed to live as soon as i met two people that told me how they legit being eaten by cannibal.
Just as everything abouy edo state is benin city everything about png is moresby, the capital city.

Togo.
Dont be fooled by the wide main roads, enter street and see something.

All of the countries above have constant electricity.
Travel › Re: What Is The Worst Country You Have Ever Been To by Hamachi(f): 10:44pm On Jun 20, 2025
Oga you lie
Jamsam:
Benin republic
That place is something else
THE UNDERRATED COTONOU

Since I was born till date, we Nigerians have always looked down on a lot of neighboring countries like Cameroon, Togo, Benin Republic etc.
Well, you are not to be blamed if you are among those who look down on some of these countries, even when we have not had an opportunity to cross border.
Bro I schooled in Benin, that place is a complete mess nothing is cheap there, have you looked at the exchange rate lately Even if you buy a bag of rice for 20k cfa and you convert that money to Naira it’s about 40k Naira, please if you don’t have money don’t near that place please, Benin is a nice place if you’ve made money and your going there to spend it, girls there do hookup and the guys do yahoo, in terms of electricity the have 247 light and water but then, it’s not just worth it plus the scorching sun there Omoh

Well I was one of those people who actually looked down on most of these countries until I had an opportunity to sail round west Africa and the narratives changed.

Meanwhile I was completely marvelled the first time I visited Cotonou, the business hub of Benin Republic about 4 years ago when Patrice Talon newly took office
Two years after I re-visited, after touring round other west African countries. I spent 3 days here and without a waste of time, I concluded to relocate down to this place based on the level of development I saw, the security, serenity etc.

Finally I am now living here and I have no regret so far.

I will say this country is blessed with the best president who is working tirelessly to improve the living conditions of his beloved citizens and I am glad hearing citizens saying positive things about the president.

Things You Don't Know About Benin Republic...

*They have currently have one of the best roads/road network in west Africa
* The maintain law and order
* Security is good
* Security personnels are friendly and don't intimidate anyone. If caught intimidating you, he or she will severely be punished
" If you are caught in a robbery attack which involves gun, forget it, u are gun forever.
* Electricity is 247. No low voltage or unecessarily interruptions.
* Steady clean water supply by the government at an affordable rate
* 247 transport system cos of good security
* Night life is topnotch.. in fact their balling na night with street light almost every nook and cranny of the city.
* Amazing beaches with super duper fun.
* Nice Bilingual schools for your kids
*Stress free movement without traffic jam.
* Policemen scattered at every nook and cranny of the town to maintain law and order and not for stop and search.
* Drugs are only bought or sold at a registered pharmacies and not from quacks or roadside vendors
* Foreigners almost have same right with citizen and can't be treated anyhow
*Women are like egg here. Any maltreatment or mistreatment, you will face the law.
*Public school, go to sch by 7:30am and return home for break by 12noon and return back to school by 3pm to dismiss between 6-7pm Monday- Friday
* You can choose to relocate from your rented apartment after a month or two cos of the privilege of monthly payment plan
* Their money now more valuable than naira in black market
*This is the only safe transit route coming from other African countries to Nigeria. Of course you should know how that helps an economy.
*Internet is steady and fast but a bit expensive
*Pepper body no common here like naija
* ETC

Business Opportunities
From My Findings So Far...

*Tailoring is a place to explore especially when you sew English wears and Nigerian attires
* Sales of any kind of electronics which you can bring from Nigeria and Togo cos they are cheaper over there and expensive here.
* Sales of second hand phones and laptops, not forgetting their accessories too. Very lucrative
* Nigerian foods are in high demand especially areas where Nigerians live more. U go sell tire
* Sales of sewing machines(more of manual)and it's accessories are in high demand cos this is their major skill work with hairdressing.
* Phone and laptop repairs needs serious attention here cos most of the engineers are not competent enough
* Sales of motor parts/bike parts. Both are very good biz here too.
* Bilingual schools are still in high demand in some places including teachers.
* Transportation biz- As a naija man, u will do better plying from border to town, if you are a smart. As an okada rider, concentrate around Tokpa, Misebo and Beach, you will be fine too.
Those who are into okirika(2nd clothes, shoes & bags), it's still very profitable till date but you must have a good contact for you not to be cheated.
Etc


Let me drop my pen here for now. I will be sharing some photos of the places I have been to like the beaches etc . So stay tuned as we will be dropping more information to give you a comprehensive info about the country generally.
Family › "Be Cautious, As Some Mothers May Unconsciously Burden Their Children by Hamachi(op): 1:47pm On Jun 15, 2025
"Be cautious, as some mothers may unconsciously burden their children with unfulfilled dreams, exerting pressure that can impact their lives. Recognize the signs and set boundaries to protect your well-being and pursue your own path."
Family › Re: Drop A Shout-out For Your Dad! Happy Father's Day To All Nairaland Dads by Hamachi(f): 8:53am On Jun 15, 2025
A father is the one friend upon whom we can always rely.

In the hour of need, when all else fails, we remember him upon whose knees we sat when children, and who soothed our sorrows; and even though he may be unable to assist us, his mere presence serves to comfort and strengthen us.

Happy Father's day to all men of this great Forum.


I missed my daddy so much. He died September, 2015
Continue to rest in peace dad.

Family › Re: I Am Tired Of Being Kept Under Pressure From My Family by Hamachi(f): 8:51am On Jun 15, 2025
Exgee:
Sometimes I wish I could switch off my phone or change my line or even block them from reaching me.

I'm getting increasingly frustrated with the whole thing. I'm under intense pressure.

I'm not yet a father to anyone, yet I'm being overwhelmed with responsibilities. Its not like I have. I'm just struggling to survive but no one seems to understand.
I've tried to explain to my mum but it seems she's not getting it. Whenever they call, demands must be made. I hate to hear the unending complaints all the time.
There was a time I decided not to pick their calls for two months and I was reported to other family members, I was severely scolded and I had to repent.
I sincerely don't know if being a first born is a crime. I don't. Probably a curse. At age 26, I'm already now having grey hair, I've gone bald too, due to lofty and enormous responsibilities. Its not I have a good job. My salary can barely sustain me in terms of feeding.
Whenever I see their calls coming in, my heart jumps. God knows I wouldn't have any issues helping my own blood but in a situation where they know I'm still struggling and they seem not to understand simply because I don't complain is what is annoying me.
Anxiety is killing me.
My blood pressure is now higher than it should be.
I'm always having one-corner headache due to overthinking.
I'm just fed up with life completely.
I can't even save. I've deprived myself of everything. Even the basic things that I should have as a young man
It sounds like you're feeling overwhelmed and frustrated with the responsibilities and expectations placed upon you, particularly by your family. Being a firstborn can indeed come with significant pressures, and it’s clear that you’re struggling to manage these demands while dealing with your own challenges.

Understanding Your Frustration
1. Family Expectations: It’s tough when family members don’t seem to understand your situation, especially when they’re making demands that feel unsustainable for you.
2. Financial Strain: Your salary barely covering your needs adds to the stress, making it hard to meet both your own needs and those of others.
3. Mental Health Impact: The anxiety, high blood pressure, and headaches indicate that this stress is taking a toll on your physical and mental health.

Potential Steps to Consider
1. Open Communication: Try to have a calm, honest conversation with your family about your feelings and limitations. Sometimes, people aren’t aware of the impact their demands have.
2. Set Boundaries: It’s essential to establish clear boundaries about what you can realistically help with. This might mean saying no to certain requests or setting limits on how often you can assist.
3. Seek Support: Consider talking to a trusted friend, mentor, or professional counselor who can provide guidance and support. They might offer strategies to manage your stress and improve your communication with your family.
4. Self-Care: Prioritize your health and well-being. Even small acts of self-care, like taking breaks, exercising, or engaging in hobbies, can make a big difference.
5. Financial Planning: Look into budgeting and financial planning resources to help manage your income better. This might give you a bit more breathing room.

Reflecting on Your Situation
Being a firstborn often comes with expectations of leadership and responsibility, but it’s crucial to remember that you also have the right to prioritize your well-being. You might need to redefine what being a supportive family member looks like for you, given your current circumstances.

If you feel like the situation is becoming unmanageable, seeking professional help could provide you with tools and strategies to cope better. Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s necessary for your overall well-being.
Family › Happy Father's Day 2025 by Hamachi(op): 8:49am On Jun 15, 2025
A father is the one friend upon whom we can always rely.

In the hour of need, when all else fails, we remember him upon whose knees we sat when children, and who soothed our sorrows; and even though he may be unable to assist us, his mere presence serves to comfort and strengthen us.

Happy Father's day to all men of this great Forum.

Do well to drop a greeting for your daddy whether dead or alive.

Family › Re: Why Did You Stop Attending Church? by Hamachi(op): 8:46am On Jun 15, 2025
Samantha125:
I needed to have some fun while my age still allowed me... Last thing I want is being a 40 year old and filled with regrets.

But I'm very grateful at how church kept me grounded throughout my university days when my peers were doing the most.
Good to know and many are on the same boat as you are.

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