₦airaland Forum

constance500:
Don't mind the op.. He just be decided to pick some of the good ones that even the present governor didn't do.. He no show you the real deal.. Nothing dey akure

I swear

Parenting can be quite an arduous adventure. It is hard enough with a committed partner, but when you are doing it alone, especially in Nigeria, the difficulty rises to a whole new level. It can be tricky, maintaining good mental health, thriving as an individual and nurturing your children in the best possible manner.

There are quite a number of women in the country who are single parents through the death of a spouse, divorce, abandonment or choice. While some of these women often feel like they have got it really rough, or that they are doing just about everything wrong; there are others who are successfully and joyfully raising children by themselves.

Wondering how they are scaling through? Jumia travel, Africa’s No.1 online hotel booking portal, shares a few suggestions to help smooth the journey of any single mother in Nigeria.

HAVE A SOLID FINANCIAL BUDGET

A majority of problems faced by single mothers in Nigeria is financially related and most times, it results from improper financial planning. As a single mother, it is essential that you draw up a financial budget per time and stick to it. Calculate how much you earn, what your main expenses are and figure out what is left over for saving and plan accordingly. This ensures that you live according to your means per time and you are do not always run into debt.

PLAN AHEAD FOR EMERGENCIES

Life is full of uncertainties and so it is important that as a single mother you have solid plans for emergencies. Aside from putting money aside for urgent situations, ensure you have you medicine cupboard filled with relevant medication for cases or allergy or infections. Look for emergency babysitting service in your area that can often provide help fairly quickly in situations where you are incapacitated and need care for your child. Also, create an “emergency list” of friends and family members you know you can call on for help in dire situations.

ADJUST YOUR PRIORITIES
A number of single mothers in Nigeria tend to fall into the superwoman trap, assuming they can pull off combining a 9-5 job with house cleaning, cooking meals, and tending to their children’s needs. As a single mother, it is important that they stay realistic about what you can and can’t accomplish in a day and set priorities. Lower your expectations and give yourself time for a break. You do not even have to do everything on your own, free up some personal time by hiring help from time to time.

AVOID “COUPLE ENVY”
This might seem trivial but is a major cause of depression for many single mothers in Nigeria. You are a single parent, things are extra difficult and you most times get lonely; it is normal to feel envious of friends who have kind, involved husbands, men who actually want to be with them and pitch in, but it is important to avoid getting caught up in the illusion that everything would be perfect if you just had a partner.

Remind yourself that everyone has problems, even married people. Constant envy breeds resentment and bitterness, which eventually drains your energy and causes you enough stress to ensure your situation gets even extra difficult.

BUILD A COMMUNITY
Do not be too proud or shy to rely on people around you when you need help or support. Forge a strong community around you, people who can provide emotional support and a sense of belonging – the perfect antidote to the isolation brought on by solo parenting. Even if you are in a city like Abuja where social life is not over active, you can push yourself into social situations, join a church or a club, and attend events in your location.

Do not be afraid to open yourself up to others. Just because you are a single mom, does not mean you or your child should not have other people to go to. Have a diverse social circle and keep a positive outlook on life. If you sit around and play victim to your circumstances things will just keep being difficult for you

goodness8:
Good evening all. I am a single mother of one though I lost my husband years back and I find it difficult to be in love again. It's almost 2 years I broke up with the guy I was with because he wasn't reciprocating. I am just 38yrs and I would like to have one more kid, mostly need a companion

What age range are you looking for?
Qualities?
Genotype
Blood Group
Location
I know of someone but he would need to have the above I mentioned

Nacoss25:
My marriage of 10 months is gradually craching.
I and my wife some issues 2 weeks ago and ran away from the house to her parents and now the parents are denying seeing her while from my investigation and information gathered she connived with her family to go into hiding.

I had like to hear from your wife because from findings you have not been providing for her, you abuse her and you are always arguing with her over little things

abbeYhart:
Marriage bring good things...but I noticed there are more people from the married folks begging for financial assistance today.

I am telling you, they will be like, what are you using money? You don't have any responsibilities, and when they borrow they never pay back

Cutehector:
Never believe any human being even your brothers when they tell you they will support you in marriage.

Why?

DaemoLee:
33k incoming... Who go teach me futures bayi Hopefully we bounce this time. If not, the whole market would b in a very bad shape.

join m y c r y p t o n g on telegram

annass227:
Please Help me understand
If I operate 3 account in 1 Bank, but I'm only using 2 account to trade crypto. Will all the account get affected? ( I'm asking if the bank will ban all 3 account including the account that I never trade crypto with)

I want to fully calculate the risk.

They will ban all 3 and you will be arrested

How exactly do you guys manage marriage pressure from family members?

I and a family members had a function together some weeks back and out of the blues my elder sis asked if men don't want to get married.
I told her they want to, but they need to have a confirmed source of income....That how does she expect them to get married when some are still struggling to even feed.

My in-laws (brother's wife, sister's husband) joined in the discussion. They said I'm coming of age and I need to get married and start having kids so i can train them when I'm still strong and agile, not when I'm much older and weak!
They even opted to support financially when I'm ready! They said marriage brings good things....that i will surely get a job or business when I marry.

They said a whole lot.........like telling me marriage is not when you have it all. My elder brother even said he had nothing when he married his wife.

All talks from left to right was just ringing in my head and making me feel bad, like I purposely don't want to marry. I have no job nor business, not even a gf! The thoughts alone is just tearing me apart! The worse of it all is the pressure from my mom!

So bachelors in the house, how do you suggest I handle this?

Matured responses pls.

BigBashiru:
Females always do what's convenient for them. There's nothing like love.... they stay only so long as it suits them....

This is generalization

HiideaConsole:
Why is the lady and the family saying no to get helping her husband?

Because she cannot be the only match

toujurs:
For a white man to open his mouth like this out of pain, if it was an African man, he would have killed her. This man is really in pains. He should express himself it will help ease the pain. She should let it all out

Do you have that girl number you met at the lounge? If yes, drop it

toujurs:
Wow its so sexy, i came like 6 times over night, where the drive came from i didn't even know, ...i had to pay for another 12 hour hotel room. Just for satisfaction. Crazy sha.

Most girls in Unilag are prostitutes. I recall my final year back in school, Jane always sleeping when we are going to class and going to read when we are sleeping her results are always clean

petiteee:
hey guys! i'm new to all these. which is better? bamboo, passfolio(saw bad reviews online though), throve, please advise on the best app to use in Nigeria to buy stocks, ETFs...

Trove

toujurs:
Female students don't like to date their fellow guys, i met one at unilag, i didn't even ask her, she was the one that opened her mouth waaa, to say she can't date her fellow students, i told her okay no wahala, her choice, the next week. She started begging me for money, to make her hair, buy text books, household items and food. I told her to meet at a lounge, we met, and i got freaky with her, only for me to observe this girl wore a rope as an underpants to come and meet me. Omo ..

it called thongs

Freelane33:
Because they don’t have anything to offer more than headache . Financially most of them are parasites .

Aaaaah?!!!! Easy na

Digital Fraud!

He left Nigeria to UK early last year.

He maintained his Nigeria bank accounts both domiciliary and Naira accounts.

As a Nigerian hustling over there, he works and saves his money in both Naira and dollar in his accounts. Late last months, he noticed there were several debit in his accounts.

He kept receiving debit alert bia email.

Alerts of different transfers and recharge cards. He called his brother in Nigeria to help him visit his bank to make complaint about his issues but the bank told his brother that he can't make complaint on behalf of the account holder because it is against the bank's policy.

His brother was given a phone number and email where the account holder could forward his complaints to.

In this process, several transfers has been made in the account. The account owner contacted the bank and the account was restricted.

Aftet that, he wrote a long legal content to sue the bank for illegal deduction of his money while he was away. The bank as usual carried out her investigation and the outcome was shocking.

After the account holder left the country, he didnt deactivate hus number from his account.

His phone number was inactive for several months so his network provider assumed he had lost or stopped using it, they sold it to another person.

Anytime he makes any transaction on his account, the new owner of the number gets alert and could also see the balance in the account.

The new owner went ahead to start recharging the line on the account. This is a level where no authentication pin was needed since it was the same number on the account.

The person didn't stop at that, he created a cardless pin just to make transfer into another bank. He started recharging and transferring money to his accounts in other banks. He transfered to friends, families.

If he goes to buy clothes, he would transfer to them and a whole lot of people.

After this,the bank started sending mails to all the banks he transfered money to to notify them of the fraudulent transactions that came into those accounts.

The banks restricted all the accounts that received inflow from the subject accounts with a text restriction. " fraudulent transactions, apprehend customer on sight"

So when these account owners were unable to withdraw from their accounts, they go into the bank to make complaint and when the bank workers sees the text restrictions, they consult the law enforcement agents and the account holders gets arrested and taken into custody.

With this action, everyone that received money from the account including his parents and brothers were all arrested.

He had transfered almost 300k in a month and recharged almost 10k.

He was arrested too.

They bank made sure the total amount debited from the account was returned before they allow him and others to be bailed on a huge amount of money.

There are two big lessons from this story.

1. If you are leaving the country, deactivate your sms alert on all your banks and leave only email because when your service provider sees that your number is inactive for a long time, it will be sold to another person and it is very dangerous if the number lands on a wrong hand.

2. Never allow anyone use your account to receive money from an untrusted source, because if it is a fraudulent transaction into your account, you would be accused as an accomplice.

Receive cash instead to avoid story that knocks.

If this is worth sharing , you can pass it on.
Digital Fraud!

He left Nigeria to UK early last year.

He maintained his Nigeria bank accounts both domiciliary and Naira accounts.

As a Nigerian hustling over there, he works and saves his money in both Naira and dollar in his accounts. Late last months, he noticed there were several debit in his accounts.

He kept receiving debit alert bia email.

Alerts of different transfers and recharge cards. He called his brother in Nigeria to help him visit his bank to make complaint about his issues but the bank told his brother that he can't make complaint on behalf of the account holder because it is against the bank's policy.

His brother was given a phone number and email where the account holder could forward his complaints to.

In this process, several transfers has been made in the account. The account owner contacted the bank and the account was restricted.

Aftet that, he wrote a long legal content to sue the bank for illegal deduction of his money while he was away. The bank as usual carried out her investigation and the outcome was shocking.

After the account holder left the country, he didnt deactivate hus number from his account.

His phone number was inactive for several months so his network provider assumed he had lost or stopped using it, they sold it to another person.

Anytime he makes any transaction on his account, the new owner of the number gets alert and could also see the balance in the account.

The new owner went ahead to start recharging the line on the account. This is a level where no authentication pin was needed since it was the same number on the account.

The person didn't stop at that, he created a cardless pin just to make transfer into another bank. He started recharging and transferring money to his accounts in other banks. He transfered to friends, families.

If he goes to buy clothes, he would transfer to them and a whole lot of people.

After this,the bank started sending mails to all the banks he transfered money to to notify them of the fraudulent transactions that came into those accounts.

The banks restricted all the accounts that received inflow from the subject accounts with a text restriction. " fraudulent transactions, apprehend customer on sight"

So when these account owners were unable to withdraw from their accounts, they go into the bank to make complaint and when the bank workers sees the text restrictions, they consult the law enforcement agents and the account holders gets arrested and taken into custody.

With this action, everyone that received money from the account including his parents and brothers were all arrested.

He had transfered almost 300k in a month and recharged almost 10k.

He was arrested too.

They bank made sure the total amount debited from the account was returned before they allow him and others to be bailed on a huge amount of money.

There are two big lessons from this story.

1. If you are leaving the country, deactivate your sms alert on all your banks and leave only email because when your service provider sees that your number is inactive for a long time, it will be sold to another person and it is very dangerous if the number lands on a wrong hand.

2. Never allow anyone use your account to receive money from an untrusted source, because if it is a fraudulent transaction into your account, you would be accused as an accomplice.

Receive cash instead to avoid story that knocks.

If this is worth sharing , you can pass it

Hashabiah:
During her marriage ceremony shebi she took the "for -better- for-worse vow "...abi? If yes, then now's the ideal time to prove it ,or else she just didn't love the guy and was just probably using him to further her cause in life

is there no match in the man's family?

Do you know during pregnancy both kidney needs to function properly?

My cousin who got married last year July is actually thinking of leaving the marriage because the husband was diagnosed of kidney failure and needs a transplant. The summary of the story is that the family of the man is expecting the newly married wife to donate one of her kidney to the man because my cousin is biological match to the husband, she and her family has said LAI LIA O, that his their child and they should find a way to go about it. After dragging this issues for some months, my cousin family are pushing her to file for a divorce

A. Would it be considered wickedness on her part considering, his not only the husband but PARTLY trained her in school too?

B. The marriage is less than a year no much money to even look for a seller, Aunty want to japa and leave the man

What do you think?

It rains everywhere get a good umbrella

Jennyclay:
I created a thread early January this year seeking for an advice about how my boyfriend is keeping malice with his father for over 3 years, even till today without opening up to me about what actually happened. Mind you he's a great guy with good qualities. But I saw that "malice" as a big red flag. But most nairalanders were saying Men are scares, you better continue with the relationship.

What if we had little misunderstanding in marriage will he forgive me or keep malice with me for years? If he can't forgive his father despite I've tried severally to talk to him politely, will he even forgive me? That was a very big red flag for me. I don't want to feel lonely in marriage.

If you're in a potential relationship and he/she is displaying some unwanted characters and you're seeing the signal clearly that it's a red flag but you're hoping he/she is gonna change, hmmm.. Honestly it's not easy to change a full grown man/woman. Don't give yourself false hope he/she will change.

Being in a Relationship is not all about Intercourse But interview. What do you do during an interview? You have a chance to communicate and study each other personality and character, it would be so easy to detect red flags. Don't be carried away by sex, money and gifts.