₦airaland Forum

CrazyQuinn:
Maternity leave

You don’t have to worry about hiding erections at inappropriate times.

Ugly women can get laid, but ugly guys can’t.

A woman can never be sent to jail for slapping her husband.

Strange guys in bars will buy you drinks.

You can sue for sexual harassment and not get made fun of.

You dominate fashion magazine covers.

Artists will cut off their left ear for you.

If you don’t like sports, that’s okay.

If you are sensitive, and no one thinks you’re gay.

Guys will pay for everything.

You don’t have to worry about asking guys out on dates, you can just wait for the guys to come to you.

You smell better.

Society deems you the “gentle gender.”

You aren’t expected to know anything about cars.

You’re allowed to cry.

You’re allowed to have stuffed animals.

You’re allowed to carry a bag with all the stuff you may need for an outing.

Lesbians are more accepted than a guy being gay

Male store clerks rush to your assistance.

Strangers will stop to help you change a flat.

You can walk through the lingerie section of a store and not feel awkward.

Guys think you look good even without makeup or in sweats (really.)

The less you wear, the more popular you become.

You are never challenged with making a guy have an orgasm.

You don’t need a cool car to get laid.

You can stay home all day and live off your spouse without being deemed a lazy bum.

Multiple orgasms.

You never have to fix anything around the house.

If you go to the bathroom in pairs or groups, no one thinks you’re gay.

You can leave your boyfriend for any reason, and everyone will take your side.

Your hormones don’t make your voice crack, just your breasts bigger.

Naked women are beautiful, naked men are hideous.

Women can get drunk and not act like assholes.

You get to blame mood swings on your period no matter what time of the month it is.

57. You never have to worry if the people in your gym locker room are checking you out.

Guys are willing to bury their faces in the most obnoxious, germ-ridden parts of your body.

You can dance with someone of the same sex and not be labeled as gay.

The thought of women masturbating turns guys on.

You can have guy friends and not worry about what people think.

You don’t feel pressured to have sex with every guy on earth.

If you get into a fight your friends will help you.

You can achieve orgasm with thought alone.

Your friends are supportive when you’re single and depressed about it.

Fifty dates equals fifty free dinners and/or movies.

You don’t have to build the courage to ask someone out, plan the evening, pay for it, and call in a few days to hope that person is interested in doing something with you a second time.

You don’t have to play mind games with the person you go out with in order to find out whether he likes you or not - you're a woman, of course he likes you.

You never have to worry about meeting the parents - they will love you no matter what, they're just glad their son's not queer.

You rarely have to worry about saying just the right thing at just the right time in order to prevent a fight you never knew was coming – in short, you plan all the fights: what they are about, when they will start, and when you will forgive him.

You don’t have to keep track of your boyfriend’s haircut.

You’re never expected or asked to move heavy or large objects.

Guys don't care if you're coming out of a relationship - women look at a guy on the rebound like cancer.

You’ll probably know well in advance if your boyfriend is ready to dump you. (i.e. you aren’t dumped quickly and unexpectedly, nor replaced in the same manner)

People don’t think you have an inflated ego if you drive an expensive sports car.

You can look below a guy’s chin and not be perverted.

Every guy on the planet likes it when women check them out – women act like guys checking them out are creeps. Even if they wear v-neck Saran Wrap shirts. Hookers.

Speaking of which, you get to wear skimpy outfits and no one thinks you’re a show-off. It’s just fashion.

You can call a guy a jerk anytime he does something you don’t like.

You can make as many close friends with the opposite sex as you want.

You can put up with small children, if fact, you enjoy them.

You also gain ‘coolness’ points for liking Star Wars, car engines or sports, talking about sex openly (to a degree of course), for asking a guy out

Guys are always willing to give a chick their coat in the cold.

It’s no problem finding someone to dance with you at a club.

You don’t have to wear a condom.

I gat a deek you don't. I fvck u anyhow I like in any style I choose and hold you down for as long as it takes....

Thank God for making me a man.

MDsambo:
Everyone just hate Islam and Muslims

Then change your ways..

Did the Emeka write the blasphemy in Arabic? Reason being that those boys can only recite and scribble in Arabic. They remain otherwise illiterate.

hatbricker:
guys don't just view, say something pls

Your rainbow is talking, make her happy, listen to her.

You are her office abi ATM.....bros pay up.....for services rendered or yet to be rendered.

DeKen:
Is it too difficult to teach these soldiers to swim?



The same locals that they intimidate and harass just for being indigenes of a locality with the curse called oil.

It is not so difficult to teach them, they are just too dumb and lazy to learn

Mimidiva:
He never believed it will be possible, so he is crying he married a white lady, you know what I mean, afterall he can't say he never kissed her from onset

Most sensible explanation. You are brilliant.

That woman looks like she is a bit deranged.

As for the man, may you heal fast.

Your friend needs a strong weed (preferably wet ukwani weed) and a strong good lay. She will come back to her senses and give God all the Glory.

Nonsense and ingredients.

professorgome:
And last time you lost 10m in MMM. LOL.

I did not even read that MMM shiit. I refuse to be fooled again.

I shall return.

If she is happy wearing it, then no ish. It's not like anyone is gonna touch or poke her. They will only watch and salivate down below

Other than the first one with a Love Machine, the other two don't mean a thing. Person sucking deek at the beach or some guy shiiting ain't anyone's problem.

hottest111:
Dry Weed did an excellent job there

The weed is wet from kwale, trust me on this.

ephemm:
I opened with expectations, disappointed though, but the humour is assuage my disappointment.

I knew it was a joke as Buhari does not even know he needs help. In his mind he is doing well, so why need any help from anywhere at all. I just entered to see the complete stupidity of the op.

If it hasn't come out by now, play music loud on the ear with the insect, it will feel uncomfortable and come out on its own



But seriously see an ENT asap

OdikwaRisky:
As bizarre this may seem, na this kind system fit Nigerian politicians. Stealing of money aka "misappropriation" will attract castration and death by hanging.

To my mind, let's swap president with them, politfcians will sit up and very few will even agree to contest

Ezedon:
I pity her next boy friend

Are prisoners allowed to date fellow inmates? Just asking

anonimi:
Na so we see am oh.
No mind the deaf zombies who did not listen to our warnings but were calling us wailers.
So who is wailing now



www.nairaland.com/attachments/3780335_mugabe_jpegb6d6da38e8b22a0fc4198629955fb6f1

I was angry that Buhari could not pass the basic school certificate but had believed he had the natural wisdom associated with growing old, it's now obvious that not only is he academically dull, he is also challenged in every sense of the word.

Here was a man that promised us a dollar to the naira, today businesses are shutting down, people are being thrown out of Jobs, Nigerians are hungry while some of us are being foisted with added loads , knowing the African culture of being your brothers keeper. If i say what I think about this man called buhari. ....

He obviously had no idea from the onset where he was headed or how to manage this contraption called nigeria. No matter how bad the economy that he inherited, a good manager at business turn around would have started making some impacts.

Boko haram was there when goodluck governed, now he will place everything on the doorsteps of the militants.

Crushing BH and militants is not the only reason he was voted in.

I'm tired.

Ibunma:
http://www.vanguardngr.com/2016/09/breaking-another-airline-first-nation-suspends-operations/

Thank God I have booked most of my flights till December on airpeace. I am sure there will be some mad rush for the operating airlines with the accompanying jack up in prices. Arik will now take their braggado to new heights. Not that I will ever touch them with the longest pole

Jeffy1206:
Sighted the moon shinning so bright...

See photos

In formation reaching me is that the eclipse has been postponed. A new date will be announced shortly

delishpot:
Na wa O. Is it with this kind of eye people expect citizens to report suspected militants to the authorities?

Report at your own risk.

ILIDEFI:
Your people are quick to call out banks. We all know banks generate funds from interest on loans, various bank charges, forex trades, sales of shares etc, and yet no bank can pay you up to 10% per annum currently, yet you believe that a system that has no means of generating money can be paying EVERYBODY 30% per month. You guys are funny.

Let me show you how unsustainable your investment programme is.

For all the people that will give help in a month to get help the following month, there has to be an increase in the total amount of help that will be given in the next month of at least 30%. It means that if the total help given in August is 1 billion naira, by September, there must be at least 1.3 billion naira help given for all the August helpers to get paid. By October, it will be 1.69bn. It will keep increasing like this until the total amount gets to multiples of billion. You will agree with me that a time will come when there won't be any further increase in the amount of help to be given. By that time, the system has plateaued. What will happen to the last set of investors?

If the total help given this month is 1 billion, by next month, it must be 1.3 billion for those of this month to be paid up. By the following month, it must be 1.69 billion. It keeps compounding and after 24 months, it will become 542 billion.
In 36 months, that 1 billion becomes 12.6 trillion.
In 48 months, 294 trillion.
In 60 months, 6.8 quadrillion.

Now tell me, does this look to you like a programme that can be sustained?

Dead on point. Not even the early exit option makes any financial sense

mckoolcharming:
as I dey post I just received my pay for
MMM...... mmm is for real I swear

First time I lost N1. 4m and the next time I lost about N1m, both on ponzi scheme. For life is am done with that nonsense. It's a scam in the long run.

Richiy:
Ladies!!!

Don't act like it is not important to you. Don't think that sex is secondary. You will not realize how important it is until you enter the marriage contract. If you are not of the school that samples before marriage, please take your time and ask!!!

Also ask about expertise, so that you can know where to start from and what to expect

As for me....

Why ask when you can taste and see that the rod is good

ekim004:
i think that egytian club should be banned. They lack an atom of ethics, he has aids z it sumtin u gon tell the world......sha wish d guy all the best with his short time on earth

Short time on earth? Because of HIV, with retroviral drugs he will still live a good and decent life and probably die at old age while number of people with clean medical certificate would have died many times over. It is the stigmatisation that he has to deal with.

Bro, it is well

Apelex:
Everything is on the increase now in Nigeria.





Very soon even 1+1 will be=3...

Very sad indeed


This aimless Govt of the APC....

I miss GEJ..a true leader or the people..


Haters can go and eat banana and live in the zoo for all I care...



"CHANGE". Indeed

These guys are scammers. I have been paying the reviewed charge at the local airport since at least last month. I did not know it hadn't come into effect yet.

God punish thieves.

manando1:
I wonder why y'all Africans like to worship crooks from over seas but stone your own African born and bread African brothers for stealing yam , we have more creativity here in Africa more then those white fools I can bet you think Facebook is better then Nairaland , beside I can't give credit to a thief a thief will always remain a thieve whether black or white so stop telling me that nonsense of credit

Sorry but i am struggling to relate with your comment especially since I worship nobody and never drew any contrasts between home and abroad crooks, and definitely not with NL and FB. For the records, i dont even do FB.

Wharisdiz

They been knack?

manando1:
nah bro business man doesn't go across search for other people ideas but the smartest business man is creative he creative he's own thing , the guy has never being creative in his life even facebook idea he stole it from the college

HE creatively 'stole' the idea from the college, if others could, they would have done so before him. So give him some credit.

Nigeria is well represented geographically in the group. WAZOBIA kind of gang.