₦airaland Forum

Durchess: wts he saying?

lemmeknow: many people say it is not of a naija or (in fact) African babe to approach d opposite sex wen it comes to relationship!

But when it comes to a time wen everything u c is him, y do u ladies still relent?

Durchess: Lolzzzzzz , am missing u naa nd I wntd u 2 comment hia too u kw ur d chief spokesman of NL.

khristology: Create amazing images and designs with this free
selection of the most creative, useful, time-saving and powerful Photoshop plugins available.

Photoshop is an amazing tool - capable of producing sublime images, high-quality video and even create very passable 3D renders. All this power offers a world of possibilities - but occasionally it's worth adding a few optional extras to get the most out of your investment.

1. Virtual Photographer (Good for Designers & Photographers)

If you're a designer in a hurry, or you're not yet confident using Photoshop to create stylised images,virtual Photographer is a quick and effective way to get some sophisticated looks in a hurry.

2. WebZap (Good for Web Designers)

Although many web designers advocate designing in the browser,many designers remain wedded to Photoshop when creating interfaces. The problem is,photoshop was initially designed as a retouching tool,and although it’s taken on features for working with layout,it’s still a frequently clunky tool for dealing with web design. Aimed specifically at web designers,photoshop plugin WebZap enables you to create layouts based on a 960 grid system, with a web page broken up into three areas: navigation, feature and fold. In addition,the plug-in provides the means to quickly add form buttons, create text, and style text across an entire layout.

3. Flaticon (Good for Designers)

If you want to download free icons, Freepik has launched a tool entirely dedicated to this end: Flaticon.com. The largest database of free vector icons,it enables you to download all of its thousands of icons in .svg, .psd or .png format. And this free plugin for Photoshop lets you quickly find all the icons without leaving your working environment.

4. CSS3PS (Good for Web Designers)

This free plugin uses the cloud to perform †he calculations required to convert your Photoshop layers into CSS3 layers, complete with live-rendered effects where these are achievable with CSS. So, drop- shadows, strokes, outer glows, text and rounded corners are all converted to CSS3 automatically. Well worth a try to see if it could save you valuable coding time.

5. Perfect Effects 3 FREE (Good for Designers & photographers)

Perfect Effects 3 FREE is a handy tool for getting a quick effect on an image, whether that's a colour treatment, addition of texture and noise, or creative borders. The plugin features an effects library (a bit like the filter gallery in Photoshop) and allows you to stack multiple effects to achieve interesting new results.

6. SuperPNG (Good for Designers)


If you're a regular user of the PNG format, you'll know that Photoshop can sometimes struggle a bit to render PNGs quickly. SuperPNG aims to fix this by offering more control over your PNG output, allowing for a balance between speed and file size, control over the alpha channel and meta data. SuperPNG's a handy tool for taking control of your image export.

7. Wire Worm (Good for Photographers)

Wire Worm is a free plugin with a single, simple purpose that may save you a lot of time removing telephone wires, fences and similar obstructions in your images. The interface is simple, allowing you to select an area around a wire or other obstruction and have the tool automatically remove it. Results are surprisingly good.

8. GuideGuide (Good for Print & Designers)

This simple Photoshop plugin makes it easy to create a grid system in your Photoshop document, hijacking the built-in guides system to create a pinpoint accurate grid according to your chosen settings. You can use negative margins for special hanging columns, separately define individual margins and gutters, and save your preferred options for quick access in the future. Perfect for anyone using a grid to help them create their layouts.

9. Cut&Slice Me (Good for Web Designers)

This super-handy CS6-only plugin makes it easy to export your designs from Photoshop to the web. Rather than rely on Photoshop's outdated export for web functionality, Cut&Slice me offers a new way of doing things; allowing overlapping slices, multiple button states and even exporting different resolutions of the same assets to cater for different screen sizes and devices.

10. Mr. Stacks (Goog for Photographers,Designers & Film Markers)

This handy Photoshop script converts layer comps into a storyboard view, compositing your individual comps into a layout that can be easily output as PDF for printing and sharing with others. This turns Photoshop into a great place to create your blockbuster's storyboard, doing away with all the tedious manual positioning and exporting associated with generating your own board manually.

11. Web Font Plugin (Good for Web Designers)

It's frustrating working on mockups where you plan to use web fonts in the final rendered web page, as up until recently it's been impossible to legitimately get those web fonts onto your system. This Photoshop plugin is one of a few solutions that are arriving, allowing you to instantly install and use Google Web Fonts inside Photoshop.

12. Sinedots II (Good for Designers)


If you're looking for a quick way to generate abstract,random wave patterns for use as background art, this Photoshop plugin could be just what you need. It's phenomenally complex, and it’s surprisingly old - having been around for at least a decade - but still does the trick and creates some amazing patterns

13. Pano Warp (Good for Print,Web Design & Photographers)

While Photoshop offers a handy Lens Correction feature, this filter takes an entirely different approach. Use this Photoshop plugin to adjust the focal length, roll and horizon height to correct for panorama distortion easily.

princedoz: No 11. Sorry. What is it by your time?

ksmiles: Nigerians are very creative; they have the ability to create funny chat-up lines in a loving way. You will be surprised at how amusing they can get when they’re interested in someone and need to initiate a conversation. Some could be funny, creative, intriguing or downright annoying but at this point all they’re thinking about is how to create a common ground, approach a stranger without getting embarrassed or rejected. Here are the top ten Nigerian funniest chat-up lines that will make you laugh your heart out:

1. “You look familiar, have we met?”

This seems to be the most popular in Nigeria when it comes to chat-up lines. A guy walks up to you and is like “… Hey. .. You look familiar, have we met?”. ( And you’re staring blankly like …” No, I don’t think so” and he goes …”Oh common don’t tell me you can’t remember me. ..”. So in a bid to defend your memory, you oblige and chat or you really don’t care and tell the person off.

2. “Can I follow you home? ‘Cos my parents told me to always follow my dreams”

When you hear a line like this, you may be too weak to react cos you’re boiling within with laughter. All that runs through your mind could be “what the heck is he (or she as the case may be) thinking?”.

3. “Hey, you are very pretty, you look exactly like my mum”

This sounds awkward because the lady does not know how the person’s mom look. However, some women may feel honoured while some maybe like .. ” What? are you alright? You wish!”

4. “Ooooo Boi! I wish I met you first”

This line is pretty famous in the circles of those who meet someone they think they like when they’re already in a serious relationship. It’s a funny way to break the ice but it works. Sometimes, It has an uncanny feel to it that can soften the other person’s disposition towards you.

5. “You’re the only egg in my roll. Without you I’m just a buns”

Now talk about downright hilarious. Even the meanest or hardest Nigerian mind will break a smile on hearing this. The mere thought of the person trying to talk to you being a “buns” is so funny. Using this is sure to kick start your much needed chat but you’ve got to get creative to keep it going.

6. “I’m not a prophet but I can see you and I together”

When you hear such lines, the first thing that comes to mind will be “hmmmm, the brother’s getting all religious on me” and as funny as it may sound it, works for some people.

7. “I thought happiness starts with letter H, why does mine start with U?”

How creative and smooth, when you hear such lines you just smile because you get carried away by the mind behind those words. It’s funny but cute at the same time, words like this can break any ice cold heart and get a conversation going. Besides, give the brother some credit for the pun.

8. “Does it Hurt? (What?) Falling from heaven”.

I’ve heard men use this line a lot. Its just a sweet way to tell a lady that she is an angel. It’s kind of abstract because it starts with a question – Does it hurt? It’ll definitely trigger some curiosity in the mind of the lady because it’s awkward. And the later part – falling from heaven – creates the opposite reaction because they never saw it coming. It’s an old classic pick up line that still works.

9. “Hi I’m kind of lost. please can you help me find my way to …..?”

I can bet you this line has been in use for decades and till date it works. It makes you sound vulnerable and in need of help but the aim is to draw attention and start a conversation. This kind of pick of line works better in public places.

10. “Now I know why Solomon had 700 wives… He never met you!”

Talk about religious and funny, this is sure to earn you a smile from that ‘sister’ that’s got your nerves in a twist and your mind all tangled up. This type of lines that have a biblical feel to them are best tried on religious person with a sense of humour.

When it comes to chat-up or pick-up lines, you’ll hear a lot of things. However, in the mouth of the right person, a line that sounds so silly can be said in a way that will charm the other party and culminate in a lasting relationship – be it platonic or romantic. The thing is to adequately access the circumstances and environment under which you’re meeting as well as the person in question otherwise the only thing you maybe picking is a “dirty slap”.

What do you think? Have you got any funny chat-up lines you would like to share

Source: http://www.travelstart.com.ng/blog/top-ten-funniest-nigerian-chat-lines

Durchess: Whz HARDDON?

jmoore:
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because he doesn't understand the meaning of marriage vows.
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because he lacks selfcontrol.
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because he thinks with his di**.
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because he is filled with insatiable lustful and selfish desires.
A man cheats on his beautiful wife because when he was a bachelor, he was busy sampling many women and carried the foolish behaviour into marriage.


"Ugly" or beautiful wife, a man who has a wandering di** will always cheat.

#TeamChastity.

Durchess: nd y wld I wnt 2 b ur secretary?

Durchess: HARDDON.

runnazz: Ade me and u know say if u brave as ur name u go know say na win win situation face u so.. any way if u want my candid advice ask her out and see how it goes.Why fear rejection..its better to love and lost than not to love at all in other words better to try and fail than not to try at all ..cos u will only end up thinking about how it could have been...any ways u go about it she will still respect ur feelings and u can go back to being friends as normal although it might seem awkward if she rejects u at first but things would go back to normal eventually...i have dated a few girls who were once friends with me....and even after breaking up for different reasons we are all still very good friends till now.Ask her out this night

Durchess: HARDDON, adviser general cum spokesman , c anoda thread 4 u

valkaka: Trying to understand men when it comes to cheating is like trying to solve a Chinese puzzle when you cannot read Chinese.

It is always difficult to understand why a man will cheat, especially on a very beautiful woman he has. But it happens all the time.

After speaking to several of my male friends one this topic, I have decided to share some of the reasons they gave as to why most men cheat on their beautiful partners.

If you think you are beautiful and that means your man will be faithful and glued to you alone, then you are up for the big shock. Being exceptionally beautiful does not guarantee faithfulness in the world of men.

This is why so many beautiful women such as Halle Berry have been cheated on and are so insecure in life. These women know that being physically beautiful will attract the men but then it takes more than that to keep them for yourself only.

If a man is cheating on his beautiful woman, then it is one or more of these;

She knows nothing more than looking beautiful

It is true that men love to be with beautiful women, especially those who know how to project glamour and prettiness all the time. However, men quickly get bored with looks and begin to look beyond the physical appearance.

Faithfulness hardly comes from physical attraction, emotional connection is needed to seal a deal on faithfulness.

When a woman is only good to be showcased around in beauty, men begin to look out for the important things that make up a loving relationship. For instance, a man wants to be taken care of and if a beautiful woman won’t bend over to get that done, he will surely look around for where he can find that.

Also, no matter how rich a man is, he will love to see his woman do something with her life. So if a beautiful woman has nothing important going on in her, apart from watching reality TV shows and painting nails, the man is set to look for the ‘woman inspiration’ somewhere…

She is ugly inside

There are several beautiful women out there who will give you a heart attack when they walk pass your man. Despite their beauty, these women are not able to get a man to stay faithful.

Have you ever wondered why that man who has such a beautiful partner won’t stop bothering you? You may think she is far beautiful than you and that is probably a fact. But she is ugly like hell inside.

When it comes to beauty, men are confused…One minute they want the woman who looks like a model. The one they can show around to friends and walk around holding her hands whiles every other man gets jealous. The next minute they are looking for the inside beauty, which is the calmness, kindness, support, understanding, softness and love that the not so beautiful girl they know possesses.

At this stage, they start to move back and forth between the not so beautiful woman and their beautiful partner.

The sex is not good

There are some of us women out there that know how to really rock a man’s boat. Being beautiful does not in any way mean you are a boat rocker in bed. For a woman to be able to blow the mind of a man, she must be a person who pays attention to details and responses.

If the woman is good in bed, then the man will keep coming back. No matter how beautiful a woman is, if the man is not getting the satisfaction he thinks he deserves and she is not ready to make improvements, time will catch up on her and he will sneak to get what he is missing from somewhere.

Anytime you meet a couple with one beautiful so cute and the another being just normal, do not ask how it happened, because it all happens when they enter the bedroom.

Why do you think men cheat on their beautiful women?

Durchess: Lyk seriously am done wit ds gist.. Ur sis cld b cheap.am nt

Durchess: Whateva

Durchess: Am glad u said dt one did yanga. Dts whr am driving @ , sm r loosed while sm r not.

Durchess: Bliv me bro u hv trust issues or probably breaking relationships ws ur specialty @ camp.
4 Christ sake u guys kip goin on nd on abt gals sleeping around @ orientation camp we all ain't d same. Someone hs done it b4 or ppl r still doin it doesn't mean d poor gal is doing it.

Durchess: Bliv me bro u hv trust issues or probably breaking relationships ws ur specialty @ camp.
4 Christ sake u guys kip goin on nd on abt gals sleeping around @ orientation camp we all ain't d same. Someone hs done it b4 or ppl r still doin it doesn't mean d poor gal is doing it.

texazzpete: Lmao @ people using 'camp stress' as an excuse.

If there's stress, who is supposed to be the best stress reliever? Is it not the boyfriend that she should be able to talk to to unwind?

There is no level of 'camp stress' that will not leave you with some hours of idle time in mammy market or in the rooms. I'm beginning to have a serious suspicion that most of the people babbling about 'camp stress' haven't yet gone through nysc.

Durchess: Sm guys jz assume its every gal dt open dia legs anyhow for 3wks orientation camp 4 dt matter. Mtshceeeww.
Ur feeling insecure dts y ur crying hia. If thz no trust in d relationship then leave d gal abeg, abi ur babe na fowl

professore: The Op did not follow her to the camp to see with his eyes that she has been gotten,so she might just be reacting based on the stress she's going through at the camp,who knows?u?so let's learn how to give advice properly.

professore: The best thing on earth that u can do is this STOP CALLING HER,if she comes back..good,if she does not come back..better

Note...the more u contact her,the more she hates u and disrespects u and u will lose all ur self esteem that u will not even be able to approach a new girl in ur life if care is not taken.

zoeee: Not all men....

eduxerxes: It is SO true. Before I comment on any thread, I always UNCHECK the follow button so as not to receive notofications from that thread again. and again, any thread I read, it doesn't fill my notification mssgs. Maybe u ain't doing it right. Always Uncheck the follow button b4 commenting. Gracias!

Seun: This only happens if the thread was created by someone you're following

Idrismusty97: You are the one that suppose to look into that flaw. Whenever you are about to summit a comment uncheck the "Follow box" under the comment box. If you have already followed the topic you won't see the box.

freecocoa: I don't think all these really apply in the real world o( not all at least).

Any man who is out to deceive a lady will even go as far as giving her an engagement ring, all to continue shining her Kongo or whatever it is he wants her for besides marriage, one just has to keep hoping/praying not to end up in the wrong hands.

I'm not saying "ignore the signs" no, there are definitely red flags but these articles always make it sound like you can outrightly tell a serious/unserious man by following a guidebook.