Nengiraw:
Hello nairalanders, please I need help on this situation. So I’m a lady in her mid 20’s. I’m actually very much set for marriage in the eyes of my family, since society deem it fit to place marriage as an achievement for women, and always bring up your age to remind you to. Anyways, it’s not a priority for me to get married now, as I feel like I’m not ready mentally,and I have a lot of trauma to work on, but I’m also open to it, if it’s in my face and ready. I don’t stay in Nigeria, so my family don’t know if I have a man in my life, so they decided upon themselves to introduce me to a man who is my uncle’s friend that stays in the same country as me. They were more focus on the fact that he comes from a neighboring village from us and that he was a doctor. (Meanwhile he’s actually a nurse, but he told them, that he was a doctor, he also never mentioned to them that he was married and had a child, before they decided to introduce him to me)

So we eventually started talking on WhatsApp, he saw some of my pictures already and he was mesmerized. In fact he was already kind of making me his wife in that moment. So one day he called me and we were just talking,and I heard like a toddler crying so bad and needed his attention, I asked him who was that , he told me it was his daughter, there was this awkward silence for almost five minutes of us not saying anything, so I told him I’ll call him back. I called my mother that day and was mad as hell, that they didn’t disclose such information to me, but from my mother’s reaction she had no idea, and she was also mad and she told me, she will call me back, so she could verify from my uncle, since that’s his friend. Even my uncle too had no idea. To cut the whole story short, he later called me the next day on a video call, and he started telling me about his wife( Yes! She’s still his wife, because I don’t think he has divorced her yet)and how abusive she was, and how he tried to make it work, but she was so crazy and stuff like that. That he’s actually trying to get shared custody of the child. That he’s no longer married to her. I was not really having it, because I just felt like he wasn’t being honest with certain things and on top of that his wife is still in the picture, and I don’t know if I want to settle for that. Also he just turned 40, and I’m 25. So the age gap is too much for me. Also I have not met him in real life, cause he stays in a different state from me, my family still wanted me to be open minded until I see him in person, then I could make a decision if I want him or not. He always sends me pictures of his daughter, and he recently sent me one with his first wife and daughter, I was surprised that he did, and he said he wanted to show me the daughter instead. I still felt like I didn’t need to see a picture of her. I started seeing the red flags of him that I couldn’t settle with. Also the way he talked about the wife was vulgar, and I felt like he didn’t need to tell me about her in that manner.

Now the most recent thing he started doing was sending me random stuff about marriage to my WhatsApp. I usually glance at it,and don’t reply, cause I don’t know why he’s sending me that. The one that gave me a major big red flag from him, is when he sent where Regina daniels( the actress who married Ned nwoko) was talking about marrying her husband a virgin and how it’s important to be a virgin. He then asked me if I was one. Honestly I felt really numb, because I don’t know why he will be asking me stuff like that, when he didn’t really get a respond back from me, he proceeded to send another message telling me, “No mind them sha, virgin no sabi. With a heart eye emoji. I was dumbfounded, I didn’t know how to reply to him anymore. I stopped picking up his calls and I have no intention to meet up with him anymore. Now my family is mad at me, saying that at least I should see him in person, but I don’t want to. In fact I’m no longer interested in him. Please am I wrong for feeling the way I feel? Thanks.

.

Samantha124:
1. Being adviced by a bunch of married old ladies on how to take good care of my husband... Imagine 15 to 20 ladies advising you, on my sister's wedding I dozed off and woke up only to find the ladies still advising her.

2. Being taken to the stream to fetch some water and firewood as a way of showing that I'll be able to be a good homemaker.

3. And lastly, sharing a plate of food with married women as a way of being introduced as a married woman.

I don't think it's all that bad since it all takes place in a day or two right?
The aspect I don't like is when the bride's family or MC begins to extort the groom and his family all in the name of its a lifetime event.

This vehicle has poor fuel economy

AnanseK:

You obviously don’t live in Abuja. Area 2 shopping center is not a mall and not a complex. It is a glorified village market where the early settlers buy their dry fish and okra. Of course there are few patent medicine stores and some tailor shops to mend your torn clothing.

Is it called area 2 Village Market or areas 2 shopping complex

franchasofficia:
Obi Cubana didn't become billionaire overnight.


His success began over a decade ago. Nigerians only got to know much about him after his mother's talk of the town burial ceremony, and funny enough, he made more money from his mom's burial than he even spent, all thanks to his years of helping others and also paying dues to other bereaved and celebrating people.


In Igbo culture and tradition, almost every man belongs to one or two groups; it could be age grade, community development association, old boys, market union, social clubs, etc. These groups support members during child naming ceremonies, marriage ceremonies, burial ceremonies, etc by raising money for them through members' contribution and sometimes donation.


I belong to like 4, and there is one in particular where we do make huge contributions. This particular club, we are like 83 members, drawn from successful Igbo young men living in different countries of the world and in different works of life.


The last time we did a fundraising for a member who lost his dad of 90yrs, we raised around 26million Naira for him. Some members donated 250k, 1million, 500k, $500, $1,000, and one member donated 5million


Don't ask me how much I donated, but we have a minimum donation which is 200k



Obi Cubana belongs to several of such groups and he is one of those that make good donations to others, so when it was his turn, people, friends turned up for him.


I know how many of such donations I have made over the years, and the more successful you are, the more of such groups and clubs you will belong to, and that makes it easier for you whenever you are hosting an occasion. That's why some rich Igbos even make money from their parents burial, no be juju na based on how many groups or clubs you belong to and active in donating to others also, so you see



So don't think Obi Cubana just suddenly became rich last 2 years or so, he has been making slow and steady progress.


Lastly, one thing about business success is this; once you get it right, you are made for life cos success will become too easy, all you will be doing is diversifying, and some of the great business ideas will come from people freely to you because they believe you are rich and successful and will share wonderful business ideas with you freely

Part of your last statement is 'once you get it right, you are made for life cos success will come too easy'. I think I find this to be true. Cos I know someone that was worth prolly 20M in 2019, but that same perosn now is an 'IDAN'. In just 4 years he has become a Billionaire. In this same Nigeria. Just pure hard work, good connection and Honesty. This is a story that I witnessed the grace to grace story first hand not hearsay. So conclusively, hardwork and smartness pays.

SUPERPACK:
If I am the one I will just tell her to follow me to a filling station, then buy for her as little as I can afford. She might genuinely need help and stranded. Makes me remember the song, Another day in Paradise" by Phil Collins.

Someone driving a big jeep I am sure the latest model has no one on her contact that can genuinely help her instead na passerby she turn to. In a 'Shopping Mall'. Think am Oga, Open yah head.

She has no fuel buh she drove to Area 2 shopping mall, am sure she put on A.C and she now get fuel, still lower the glass dey ask for money?. I won't trust such person though, make e no be say them wan trail person. Next time you go to that shopping mall, watch out if you will see her again. The things happening in Abuja nowadays one need to be careful.

Kobojunkie:
The Law which you quote there literally tells you, the adult, that if the person you have sex with is not 18, you are a rapist. It basically places the onus on you to ensure you are having sex only with non-minors even if it means checking their birth certificates for proof.

So why are you stuck on insisting it the Law has to first state you are to seek evidence before sex? Are you re-tarded?

2. That is all the Law needs to say though.

3. So you never knew before now that minors can tell lies? You think telling an arresting officer that a minor claimed to be 18 means you are in the safe or something? Which good lawyer will take on such an obviously stewpid client?

When people like you have a weak argument,instead of reinforcing your claim, you resort to insults. I am sure you have never been to a court room to witness proceedings, so do have a nice day. Gracias.

Kobojunkie:
What you described happens every day and everywhere on the planet and it is for that reason that laws are made to protect their gullible minds from predators like those married men who are aware of the very reason those kids gravitate towards them.

Well it's time those laws are strengthened and totally enforced. The other say I watched a video clip, a lady was raped and the police officer was blaming her for dressing indecently.

Kobojunkie:
The Law is meant for the adults, not the children. So, instead tell the adults that the Law holds them 100% at fault in such situations. The Law is clear on this so I am not sure what your particular confusion is..

You not still getting it. The law just says you have to be 18 to consent to sex. It didn't ask the adult to seek any sort of evidence for confirmatory purpose. It just says 18 years old shikenah. Trust me if the minor told the adult that she was 18, whereas she wasn't up to,with a good lawyer, the paedophile will walk scot free and nothing will happen. Its high time our laws are explicit, unambiguous and effective. If not na cruise all of us dey for this Naija.

Hubeznigeria:

No matter how fast they grow, you still know they are children. Why didn't the man ask her age. Why should she be the one to preinform the man of her age? I guess it convenient for you to sit behind your keyboards and type this because she is not your sister. I just hope it's not even what I am thinking

A typical Nigerian. Yall get too sentimental cum emotional with your reasoning. The burden of consent lies on both the minor and the adult. Aren't you aware that most teenage girls want to feel among in recent times? Children of 14years old now have android phones. You find them on Facebook, WhatsApp, Snapchat,Instagram et al. Why do we act like hypocrites in this country, we watch moral decadence and we do nothing about it, but when it's time to criticise, we sharpen our mouths like razor blade to condemn quickly. Can't you ask yourself why a child of 16 years old will comfortably date a married man and get impregnated by him if not moral decadence?. What role has her parents played from the get go? When the Neighbours or community witnessed this anomaly, what did they do about? Truth is Nigeria has lost its moral compass all round. For your second question, if she was my sister, I will confirm first from her is she made the man aware that she was underage before I take any action.

Kobojunkie:
If you are this confused when realizing the age of the person you are dealing with then maybe it is time the law stipulates age verification before sex then. Making sure this man and others like him are properly prosecuted is also the best way about that.

Yeah other countries, you owe it as a duty to verify. But Nigerian law isn't concise enough. It just states 18 years old. What if a 16 year old or 17 years old tells you that she is 18 years verbally, how are you supposed to investigate on a norms? I have seen children of 16 years hanging out men and they feel cool about it...You cant even advice them, you go explain tire.. It's a norms out here. So laws should be made more explicit if not people will keep getting away with sex with minors.

Mustiboy:
Hey, everyone

News just got to me that my friend's sister, who is barely 16, has been pregnant for the past 5 months. This came as a shock to me as I wasn't aware of any such development, neither was my friend. I've informed him, and he's furious.

His mum had held back to the info from him because she knows he would get angry. He's always lamenting to the mum about how she's ruining the girl's life by allowing her to have her way, but she would even defend her, restraining my friend from disciplining her.

My friend and I grew up in the same area and haven't been home since like a year now. That's why neither of us knew about this pregnancy. Info reaching us confirms that she was impregnated by a married guy whose wife just put to bed.

Now we don't know if he's had any arrangement with the mum or anything, but my friend wants to treat this case as taking advantage of a minor. Yes I agree she foolishly spread her legs, but I strongly believe she was lured with money, given how these young girls are gullible and easily bought with money.

How do we handle this issue? My friend is thinking of reporting the case to the police. This is not North. How do you sleep with and impregnate a minor?

I'll appreciate any helpful suggestions on what to do.

let's not be quick to judge. First of all be certain that the married man is aware of her age before taking any action. Yall should confirm from her if she made the man aware that she was still a minor. Children of nowadays grow so fast and alot of them lie. Nigeria law doesn't stipulate that you must present a birth certificate before sex can be initiated . Its a tad bit tricky. If however, the man is aware, just go to your local government secretariat and report him to social service. It will be taken up from there. Such crime is considered as rape and he might spend his lifetime behind bars.

9jagovernor:
I read a post made by a lady this week on this forum about how she lost a job because she failed their medical but she later got a better job.
I received a rejection mail today with a job I thought I have already secured having passed the first and the second stage of the interview and even did medical in their premises and all hopes were high for me, I was already seeing myself as a staff of the company with lots of preparation from my own end.
Having waited for over 3 weeks without response, I mailed them last week with them telling me they'll respond soon. I received the shocker this afternoon with a rejection mail staring at me in my inbox.... Hot tears rolled down my eyes followed by depression.
I had to reply the HR why I was not selected cos we were 2 jostling for the position and the other person didn't scale through the second interview and subsequently didn't do the medicals which means I was the sole candidate. She just said it was the Management's decision. I guess I failed the medical.
My Single mom was the only person I could text, shared the news with and she was just encouraging me cos it's just the of us...I'm her only child.
Truth be told, I'm tired. I'll be 30 next week, no better job in the table, no investment, no wife, no children, no savings.... I'm just hanging in there.
I shared my previous rejection experience in Lagos not quite long

https://www.nairaland.com/7695372/bitter-job-hunting-experience-yesterday

And facing this one again is heartbreaking. I currently work for a firm where I am paid 50k out of which I'm returning 25k to mum to pay off the loan she took from her teaching job as she took the loan to pay my school fee while in school together with some expenses, transport chunk off larger Percentage of the remaining salary and at the end of the day, I'm left with little or nothing with debts hanging around me. I am even owing someone 30k right now with the promise to pay the person at the end of this month from my salary (I believe in miracles).

I need help, I need a better job. The only thing carrying me is my baby face as people hardly believe I'm old.

I am a computer science graduate 2.1, I am proficient in Microsoft office suites, hardware and software maintenance, office administration as I am currently a secretary where I work, I have experience as a Logistic officer too. I currently reside in Ogun but don't mind relocating.

Brotherly before the regrets and self pity, talk first thing first. If you succinctly remember the medical exams that you carried out, kindly run all of them in a reputable lab or hospital. If you suspect that you failed your medical exam, you should be more worried about your health than the rejection. Let me tell you a story, when I Joined the banking sector some years ago, I almost failed my medicals cos my BP was just shooting high for no reason, na God epp me. If I didn't do that medical, I wouldn't know that I was already having pre hypertension. One of my other colleague had to leave the training school and resign cos a week into training, he was discovered to have Tuberculosis. Health is Wealth my brother, address this challenge first before pitying yourself.

specialofficer:
I have been having some issues in my room, I live with my mum and sister , it's a 3 bedroom flat, we pay 1.4m yearly and we've paid 3 times, last payment was in may.


My landlord increased the pressure point of our water in the compound and now water gas been leaking, pipes got burst in the wall and water has been coming out from walls and pop, I started complaining last month but they didn't do anything about it, it got to a point when the water was too much in my room, I wanted to get my landlords attention so I had to spoil our pumping machine and I brought out all the dirts in our dustbin, I acknowledge my mistakes but it was out of anger.



My landlord confronts me and we got into an argument and we insulted each other, I know i was wrong but if I didn't spoil that pumping machine, the landlord wouldn't have called plumber to repair the issues I was having in my room, I even discovered that i wasn't the only one experiencing such thing, my neighbors too were also having that same issues.



According to my landlord, he said he's not the one collecting money from us, we paid money to agent and if we have any issues we should contact the agent, this particular agent is his elder brother but this my landlord is living in our compound with us, though he has numerous houses.



Now my landlord said he doesn't want to see me again in his compound and has threatened my mum with quit notice, he said it's either I leave the house or my family would leave , he instructed the gateman not to open gate for me again or else he'll sack him. My fellow nairalanders I really need your help, how will I go about this?


Modified; The landlord threatened to call police if he ever sees me in his compound, he said he'll win me in court and it's malicious damage to his property, mind you, there's no evidence that I committed the offence, our gateman was the only eye witness.

I don't get. Why did you do such a mean thing? You destroyed his pumping machine and also desecrated his compound. He is right to eject you cos you are a ticking time bomb. Your excuse Is anger but you didn't think that you could have also fixed the anomaly and deduct your expense from the next rent? Or better still reach out to the agent when he wasn't forthcoming? I fear you.

IconicR:
Justice for mohbad

Only if he was related to me in the slightest of ways then by now they would have known why I am iyaebethegreat

Why are you claiming to be the Atta matriarch? Stop impersonating.

WhisperedNoise:
Everybody knows this. Many states in Nigeria have natural resources but government entities collude with illegal miners and they get their share of the profit. Why is Tinubu acting like he discovered the theory of relativity?

He doesn't need to go abroad to amend this. It's not rocket science. Find everybody involved: fire who is meant to be fired, jail who is meant to be jailed. Bring a heavy hand against corruption and watch it die a natural and fast death.

BUT can Tinubu wage an aggressive war against corruption? Sadly, no, because baba himself has stains and a shady past.

All these talking won't solve anything. Nigeria needs a man who DOES more than he talks. Talk is cheap.

It is absolute evil that most states are plundered by miners and government officials and yet these same states are languishing in poverty and pity.

Things are easier said and done on social media. But in reality,it's not always so. You think it's only Nigerian government officials or miners right ? What of the foreign government that sponsor these thieving? Are you aware that Africa's resources is used to sustain France, U.K, U.S and the likes?
This matter has to be taken to the United Nations cos its not a localised matter anymore. Uf these foreign interests don't pull the plug on this stealing, we will keeep chasing shadows. All of us speak about Zamfara, are you aware that mining of gold is going on in Nassarawa and Kogi as we speak? Poaching is going on in our game reserves and shipped directly to Europe and Asia? Till today we haven't still discovered that the reason for Boko Haram activities is due to resources. Even the civil war that was fought was due to resources. Until the white man leaves us to manage our resources which I doubt that we are capable of managing, we will never progress in this part of the world. Take it or leave it. Its high time we tell them that enough is enough. We have seen enough sheep.

Supremos:
I love the energy with which this guy is tackling not just the deplorable states of roads across the nation, but the corrupt contractors draining our lean economy.

Yellow should stop blaming the contractors abeg. Can't you see where they wrote that a whole Director of BPP that absconded for 3 months. Where did he go to? Probably he isn't okay with his cut, so he will delay the entire work.

Bj01:

Life is funny,the lady that was appointed from kogi Atikat Mamman as SSA to d president,we did rems together back then in unilorin,infact we were friends though she was in computer science.after leaving in unilorin sometimes I will see her in abj from long distance I will just pass by, sometimes wave if she noticed me but now I don't have her number see me looking for job and she is already well placed.life no balance,if I did not happy with her appointment definitely my own better things won't come





uote author=Success1930 post=125833641]President Bola Ahmed Tinubu Appoints Dr Aliyu Modibbo As Special Adviser On General Duties

President Tinubu Appoints Abdullahi Tanko Yakasai As SSA On Community Engagement North West Zone.

Funny enough, she is someone I know quite well. Been a year or so that we related though. Try chatting her on FB.

EkelediliBuhari:
Let’s agree this is my story….

Pardon my long write up but I needed to get a perspective from a fresh eye/mind. I’m married for 3 years now with 2infants.

Am I overthinking or does my wife have other plans?

My dad is an established accountant with over 3 decades of experience at the highest level of his occupation in 2 multinationals. He is now retired and consults. Presently, he lives a day at a times cos he barely has plans for his firm (he is over 70 and doesn’t have anybody he’s training his my mom).

I have a good career earning almost a million monthly with side gigs that keeps me liquid (meeting all my family’s basic needs). Monthly upkeep of 200k mainly for feeding while I pay utilities and still bring out cash (no fixed amount) from time to time. Presently am setting up a firm for contracting and consultancy.

My wife is a caterer (she loves cooking and baking) whom I have supported over the years. She has gotten much better and I have invested in her business. Presently she has all the basic requirements for her work and she works from home. We live in a 4 bed and converted one to her studio (fully furnished - AC tables shelves etc).

Over the years I have encouraged her to focus on entrepreneurship. This will give her total control of her time. This way the kids get her attention while she handles business which I hope to one day retire into. I make sure she doesn’t contribute her personal funds to the home as I advise her to save for rain days. I have encouraged her to work closely with my dad to earn experience as they share same profession hopefully take over the firm in time while I groom mine for which she is the major shareholder (I’m not even a shareholder).

Overall, do not look for a 9-5 like me, let’s grow a business.

However, she applies for jobs here and there. Just this morning she woke up as early as 4:30am applying for a customer service position and had to wake me up to correct her cover note.

At this point I feel like giving up on her. I feel she just wants to have a paying Job for whatever reason. But I know know the downsides; no time for the kids, 40-80% of income goes on expenses, work stress, regrets - now you can’t quit because you have to prove you can do it.

Am I being unreasonable telling her not to work and focus on developing her business skills?

NB: I have never discouraged her in her business rather encouraged/ advices and funded.

You son's of Adam keep repeating the same mistake. When a woman is determined to chart a course for her life, let her be. Stop trying to impose your ideas or wishes on her. For if she fails, you Don buy market for that marriage. You can only advice and meeuvve.

Gaskiya this is a shame kowai.

JustSon56:
Hello, please i need some advice and help
I am experiencing reoccurring diarrhoea for over a year now which some times lasts a few days then disappear after a few weeks it comes back.

Symptoms i experience:

1 - Noisy stomach, noise in my stomach like something is talking or moving.
2 - The immediate urge to use the toilet after eating (like 15 to 20 minutes after eating, any kind of food doesn't matter what).

What I've done so far;

I've gone for blood culture test and stool analysis, nothing was found

Been doing HIV test every month with a time frame of over a year plus since this issue started July 2022 (Negative all results).

Taken some prebiotic drugs and prescriptions
to grow my gut bacteria but still the symptoms won't stop. I'm super healthy aside this not losing weight or whatsoever but this is killing me slowly.

Make sure you deworm and test for Hpylori.

frankmoney:
The minimum of contesting a post should be a BSc...

which one is Bsc again? A WAEC holder is educated enough. Someone that has 5 legit credits in WAEC including English and Mathematics is OK. Bsc., Msc. PhD or all that isn't a yardstick. Majority of our thieving politicians are academically grounded. No be by book, na character.

Berlyn1:
Hello lalasticlala hello seun osewa hello old nairalanders 🙈

Welcome Back ooh. Where have thou been?

Bla bla bla sheep.

Realloner:
I'm searching for a male friend in PH between 30-34 years old. I'm 27years old, highly introverted, i barely pick calls but i'm fine with chatting, i'm financially stable and i tend to be very blunt when speaking. I just need a guy that is willing to hang out from time to time, we could go to some places in PH, like SPAR, PH mall, tourist beach(i.e if it still exists) in fact, anywhere fun in PH, sometimes we can just sit and talk about life, The main thing is having a companion and a friend to talk to. You should be single(i dont have strength for wahala), dark and tall because i'm tall, and most importantly, you should be able to take care of yourself financially.

Sorry i have a long list, i'm just trying to state what i want, its not like i'm a perfect person.
If you are interested, you can contact me via email Certifiedloner90s@gmail.com

chai see requirements. Like JAMB

Hi y'all. Who got any vacancy is his/her bank? Experienced Hire. Any branch in Abuja. Any of the big 5 excluding ZB. Relationship Service Manager Role.?

charlesdinho:
good day. i will be going for the nigerian navy screening for batch35. what are they checking during the medical examination/screening? this is my first time going for something like this and my aim is not to fail any medical test. please what test are run during this process?

Drug test, chest x-ray, hepatitis test, HIV test,flat foot, eye test, ear test et al.

John4B:
Apc says Nigeria is a sovereign state that international body cannot detect to us how to run our affairs, cus EU faulted the just concluded general elections. So, Niger republic is a sovereign state as well external bodies including Nigeria should stay off their affairs.

Sovereign? Yet they are collecting our Light, Our Railways, Our Gas pipelines? No one is really sovereign in this world, we are just deceiving ourselves. Tinubu should just fashy them and work on Nigeria. Na them go come beg last last.

SalamRushdie:
Musa Musawa poor? X😅😅😅😅...All Musa Musawa kids I have come across have always been balling so I don't know what poverty this one is talking of...if Musa Musawa kids consider themselves stark poor then what will other Nigerians say 😅😅

Probably she isn't speaking of the aftermath, but the genesis. If my current Oga at the top was told that he will ever be a billionaire in his life time, I am sure he would have doubted it. His family was a struggling one that suffered to send he and his siblings to school. At 27, he graduated form Uni, before 35, he was already a billionaire. Life works in mysterious ways. If my Oga start sayings his sapa and shege story in future, people will then say he is lying. Always believe stories form the horse's mouth atimes.

Ikaeniyan0:
Mumu talk

Heheh which one is mumu talk. So you aren't aware that NYSC members are part of our reserves in case war breaks out at any point in time?
The training used to be more rigorous and intensive. Corper's were even taught weapons handing at a point and other combat techniques. Even the same sort of program happens in Israel after graduation. They are they standing reserve force of the country

Curse777:
That David Hudeyen is really stupid... Who asked him to broadcast that Soldiers are going on a mission

What if Niger Soldiers place bombs and land mines everywhere or they get ambushed

That's the problem of this freedom of information. If he is clipped now, he will start screaming nepotism, tribalism or any ism. There are many saboteurs in the armed forces and security circle that need to be court martialed.