₦airaland Forum

That's too easy to give up na.

Give us more context to help you. Ladies no too deep like that.

Besides 4 na very small number. I can go out now and talk to more than 10 ladies today.

Rearealki:
So I have spoken to 4 ladies now. They all don’t pick my calls neither respond to my chats
I give up

If men with car lined up to date her, she will not be dating you.

Trust me on this bro.

She's not with you because she loves you too much. She's with you because at this point in time, you're the "best" she can do.

So, no too trouble yourself. If she is not ready then move on let her wait for the man with car.

And just so you know, you're waiting with her at the moment so she can find a man with car.

If ever such a man comes along as she is praying for him to come, she'll dump you without a second thought.

I her secret place, she's not praying for you to make it, she's praying for God to bring a replacement with a car.

How do I know this? Because if indeed she's with you and hoping to spend the future with you, then she should have been supportive and not caring what anyone else thinks or you don't think you deserve such kind of love?

Danlami223:
Hello great people of nairaland, please I need your advice on this. There is the girl of mine we have been dating for almost 5years now she know all my family even to those one that’s in abroad anytime they call they always ask often if her sometimes she even talk to them.. now my problem is I haven’t talk to any of her family except her sister that stay with her. She have one brother that one is in the UK the guy know both of us are dating but I haven’t speak to him before. Recently I told her how far let me know your mum or dad she said NO because her mum want her to date a man that’s driving but me I don’t have a car. And this year I plan of meeting her parents. Please I need your advice maybe I should continue with this relationship.

Makes you wanna ask what it is about marriage (people seating, Eating and drinking) that makes it purify sex.

gohf:
was there really a "marriage" between Adam and Eve or they just found each other and procreated. Not sure they are the "best" examples of when to have sex for the first time, you can as well say the first time a boy meets a girl, they should have sex the moment they are out of their homes.

It's quite annoying to read feminist nónsense here on NL

amosnaira:
You finished this topic. Thank you for taking time to put up this write-up

[quote author=Kwinesther post=138324436][/quote]

Imagine a lady, no skill, no education. No handwork.

All waiting for a man to come save her from the gutter she called her father's house.

After you pick her and give her small hope, she go come dey call you misogynists.

That's how those smelling feminists are o. They are all here on nairaland creating threads upandan.

Nothing good is going on or will ever go on in their lives until a man shows up

Then you hear I am a strong and independent woman

You're the one saying you gain nothing from marriage why do you pray, cry, roll on the floor, weep, gnash your teeth and fast for it?

Doesn't it defeat logic to go willingly to men to slave for them?

cococandy:
You’re the ones saying you gain nothing from marriage. Why do you still do it? It defeats logic !

Mtcheew

Kwinesther:
lol, pain is that you?

You no add the classic "can I wear my clothes now?"

Feminist can't relate because no man dey even gree marry them

Lolz.

You speak as though the men carry gun and are forcing the women to get married.

My dear women are getting married voluntarily. So where is this "forced" narrative of "leave us alone" coming from?

Na women dey attend shiloh and do hallelujah challenge looking for husbands not men.

So, if you feel the world will be awesome, you can literally tell yourself not to get married. No man is forcing you to get married.

cococandy:
Like literally leave us alone.

Imagine how awesome the world would be if the men who think they don’t benefit anything from marriage choose not to get married ever?

In a world where 2-3 women are sharing one man, fighting over one man, you're here boosting your ego that it is the men who should leave you alone

Delulu

Mtcheew

Kwinesther:
So how does a woman being an ashawo make her inherently selfish and terrible compared to your gender that are mostly murderers, kidnappers, rapist, bandits, terrorist and armed robbers? And which gender sleeps and pays for the service rendered by the ashawos?

I don't see you countering my points in any way.

CHoccolaTE:
First of all, gay men don't experience less domestic violence, they only report it less. Secondly, there are less gay divorces because a lot of gay marriages are open marriages.

You have been all over the thread complaining about women. Haba calm down, nobody is forcing you to be with them, avoid women if you dislike them so much, all this bitterness isn't necessary.

There are more female ashåwo, more female onlyfåns.

But then again, how does this relate to this thread or whatever I talked about earlier on?

CHoccolaTE:
Really?
Is that why there are more male criminals and more male murderers and kidnappers?

Kukutente23:
You write as if only Nigerian marriages are destroyed in UK.
Even the UK citizens themselves, men now marry men and women marry women in a bid to escape the frustration that the so-called battle for equality brings
But even that has not cured the destruction of UK marriages

and you know the funniest part of this discussion. when men marry men, they tend to have less problem. Their divorce rate is almost zero, domestic violence is almost zero.

But when women marry other women, guess what, their divorce rate is higher than when a man marries a woman and the domestic violence is higher than gay marriage and heterosexual marriages.

Yet, these women want us to see them as the saints and the partner that is always without faults.

Yet marriages between two women results in the highest divorce and highest domestic violence.

Again, i stand by my earlier truths: women are inherently selfish and terrible as humans

Honestly every young man needs to start having that conversation with himself.

Every young man needs to start learning to put themselves first and stop sacrificing.

If the relationship wan spoil make e spoil

SonOfZeus:
You really hit the nail in the head! I always tell my brothers, be ruthless to women! If they were in your shoe, they wouldn’t even have anything to do with you.

Women are always plotting and when it’s time to attack, they do with without looking back.


I’ve said to myself, even if I find the one for me, I am still prepared whatever may happen.

Most women in the UK today or America talking about women's rights and feminism never ever in their life imagine they would cross Nigerian border in their lifetime.

Some never even knew they will ever travel out their village till a man came along.

Look at them typing stuff here forming woke and feminists.

Yet, a man made that dream possible. Y'all should worship such men who took you from nothin.

Who took you from the drainage you call your father's house and set you high in a Whiteman's man.

Something none of your family has never achieved in their lifetime and probably will never have amounted to if not for the man that dreamt big.

You tagged along with your selfishness and when he gave you that life, you betrayed him.

And now you're here forming strong woman. You make me laugh. And then you irrîtate me with your talk of strength and wokeness

If you knew you were strong and brave and your man was maltreating you and was not good, why didn't you divorce him here and work your way to the UK by yourself?

Of course not, you're a cōward who must hide under the pretense of loving him and deception and once he gets you across, like the devil, you spring up the surprise accusations of domestic violence and abuse.

Leeches forming posh

Yeye talk.

These women that depends on men for everything.

Some of them don't even get trained in school by their parents. Except a man comes around with his large hearts and wants to marry her.

Go to any of nursing school around you. Most of those girls are sponsored by men intending to marry them.

Men polish these women and make them anything they are or will be tomorrow.

What do these men get in return? An entitled wig wearing brăt talking about rights and oppression

Yet you stand here and talk about marriage not benefiting them.

How many single women are able to complete their masters and PhDs in their father's house?

Una dey annoy me with these una woke cappings.

We are all in the same society and we all can see who will not survive without marriage

SpaceX:
I strongly advocate for women to stop getting married, marriages doesn't benefit women in anyways.

Jail striking worker as how na?

Stop oozing stůpîdïty bro.

What do you mean you can cheat on her and turn it into a reason?

Do you think there are no consequences if you cheat on your spouse during divorce?

You see a problem staring at you right in the face, instead of solving it, you're running around in circles.

So you would rather cheat on your spouse Just to be able to divorce her and face harsher consequences or have a law that actually makes room for you to divorce her based on the actual problem?

This una wokeness dey irritate me

budaatum:
Dude please, mr not naive, you can very easily create reasons why you want to divorce your wife!

You can cheat on her for instance, and that could be your reason. You can just abandon her, if cheating don't work. And if you are really really desperate and can't reason better, you can beat the shït out of her and say that's why you want to divorce her, though I strongly suggest you find much less vicious reasons!

How is this the man's fault? The man when he was young had a money problem.

He was treated like trash because he has no money. But he didn't suddenly become a thief.

A woman can choose to do herself instead of the society. It's her choice and a man should not be punished for it.

If she no like the man and she goes ahead to marry him because of her own selfishness (trying to look less bad because of what society will say or her age) then the evil is from her not the man.

Philosopher1979:
i THINK THE PROBLEM IS THAT MOST NIGERIAN WOMEN DO NOT MARRY WHO THEY LOVE.
THEY MARRY DUE TO 2 REASONS 1. SOCIETAL PRESSURE 2. FINANCIAL REASONS.
I THINK THE ISSUE IS THAT IF YOU TELL A LADY TO MARRY ON TIME THE USUAL THING IS THAT THE MAN
SHE IS ATTRACTED TO AND FEELS LIKE HAVING SEX WITH IS NOT FINANCIALL READY.
WHEN CLOSE TO 30 OR DUE TO SOCIETAL PRESSURE OR BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE THEY SETTLE FOR MR AVAILABLE
AND NOT MR RIGHT
THIS MAY BE WHY PATERNITY FRAUD HAPPENS.
WHEN THEY GO ABROAD THEY HAVE MORE RIGHTS AS THE LAW AND CULTURE OF THE WESTERN WORLD EMPOWERS THEM
AND THEN THEY CAN DO WHAT IS IN THEIR MIND

let's stop trying to explain away the evil and selfish nature of these women with unreasonable reasons.

Everyone is controlled/criticized by the society both men and women at different stages and for different things in their lives.

Personally I'm a young student at a hustling stage in my life. All the time you're brokeshamed.

So many have turned to yahoo boys. A few weeks ago, my youngest cousin was talking about yahoo. A boy of 16 just barely out of secondary school.

He's already feeling the pressure of society on his brokenness.

So if he picks a girl and use her for ritual would you explain this away and say it's because of society.?

So stop making excuses for them when they choose to be terrible just to appear right

I'll write again.

You don't know a person's true nature unless they are the ones with power.

You can't tell if a man is humble when he's in poverty because then he cannot be anything but humble.

You cant tell if a man is a good man unless he has the means to be both good and evil.

In Nigeria, men have the power. They earn more, yet they marry women with nothing and love these women.

They take her across the border because they feel that's what's best for the family.

In the UK, the same woman who professed love for the man and her family is suddenly given power

And remember, power shows one's true nature.

Suddenly, the family that loved and protected her, she suddenly strikes it back and divides it into two.

Power showed her true nature which have laid dormant because she never had the power.

So, the broken homes you see in the UK have very little to do with men being terrible people but with women being terrible human beings.

Who choose themselves over others especially the ones they claim they love.

This is the hallmark of selfishness: choosing oneself above everyone else regardless of how close or how much they have sacrificed for you in the past.

Look around you: all they talk about is excuses like how these men want to be treated like kings because they don't do house chores.

Forgetting that these men never cared for them to bring a kobo for the 10 or 15 years they were married in Nigeria.

These men never cared that these women never contributed one kobo to their own wedding expenses.

Yet these men never said "she wanted to be treated like a queen". In fact these men treats their women like queens and want to see her like their queen.

But suddenly a year in the UK, she faults him for domestic chores and break their homes.

Ah! terrible humans and yet not realizing how terrible they are.

I think the UK exposes women for the leeches they are in marriage rather than men being the problem.

For one, a man marries a woman because he loves and cared about her.

When she had nothing he married her, gave her his own money, feeds and clothes her as much as he could.

And when he has hustled enough, he saves and saves and deny himself a lot of things so that he'll be able to cater to this woman and the child she'll later born.

But that's still not enough. He wants to improve their overall quality of life. He wants more for them.

So he saves even more and then travel to the UK.

In the UK, he picks up odd jobs and even though he's stressed, he works harder to ensure his family could join him one day.

Then finally his wife and kids are able to join him in the UK.

Suddenly on getting there, she found that she could now work and earn as much as the husband.

He's happy. She's happy. He's happy that finally his loved ones are with him now and they could continue building the home they started.

She's happy she's here now and could finally get rid of her husband and her family.

On the one hand, when he had everything, he gave her everything and brought her over.

On the other hand, when she had everything, she wants to give him nothing and to send him away.

So, no, the UK does not expose how terrible men are but how terrible and ungrateful women are to the men who gave them everything.

On her own, she'll never have dreamt of a day she'll cross the Nigerian border. It was the man who gave her wings.

But the very moment she felt the air, she turned around and call him a misogynistic bastąrd who had been maltreating her all along.

He was maltreating her yet he brought her over to the good life. He was maltreating her, yet he married her and gave her the wedding of her dreams.

He was maltreating her, yet he helped her find a job, helped her complete her course or paid for her schooling.

What did he get in return? Or more put what did she give him in return?

It's like God after giving you air and life and suddenly you say now you have the freedom to say God was evil.

Nah, Nigerian women are selfish, self-centered and ungrateful and the UK exposes their true nature.

And save me the excuse of this women getting married to men they don't like because they need to survive.

Isn't that the selfishness we are talking about? You married someone you don't like because you wanted your own survival not caring about the man's survival.

@image. Yet this same hopeless and poor, starving-to-death girl, whose own parents could not help her situation, the moment you take her over there and she gets good work, you, suddenly you're a misogynistic băstård who has been maltreating her

This came from a place of fōōlishness.

There's something called dignity, respect and consideration.

It's not being afraid.

Lovelink1991:
Is the girlfriend afraid that the ex may take the guy back or why did she has to act that way?

So oral sexxing someone who is not in the mood for sexx is not răpïng?

This guy na complete műmű. You talk about tapping your wife's buttocks without her permission as an offense but oral sexxing her is not an offense.

And here you are parading yourself on a moral high ground

And should we talk about heavy petting her vs tapping her buttocks?

Kukutente23:
What about making her get in the mood by say eating her out or heavy petting? Is it OK to tap your wife's ass without permission?

When you ask questions like, why would you marry someone you don't want to sleep with, it shows how naive you are.

Would you ask a műrderer why kill someone you know did nothing to you?

People do things.

They do things they themselves don't even know they are doing.

Like people do things they themselves don't even understand.

And you as a person do not have a single control over this. We've seen people getting married and later saying they don't want to have kids.

And then you move on to ask another very naive question again, saying what did you do or not do to make your partner not want to sleep with you.

Chai.

You think it's by something you are doing or not doing that will make a person who doesn't want to sleep with you will suddenly want to?

Oga, you have no idea how humans work at all.

Let me give you example. Sometimes you meet someone or something and you jst don't like the person at all.

Regardless of what they do or how much they try. In fact the more they try, the more they just irritate you.

It's a hard fact.

These things are beyond your control. Someone choosing to sleep with you is beyond your control. Especially when they already made up their mind not to.

But more importantly, would you advise the man not to provide for the family if he's not getting the sěx in return?

And yes, you cannot divorce your wife because divorcing requires a reason. You can walk to the court to say you don't want your wife anymore and since you can't cite lack of intimacy as a reason, suddenly you cannot provide why.

Guess who's then at fault and will receive the greater punishment? The one divorcing for no reason at all.

So no this law does not make room for the one lacking intimacy.

budaatum:
This is not true! You can divorce them. You just can't divorce them on the basis that they don't let you sex them. You can always divorce them because you don't want to be with that person anymore!

But the question is, why would the person you married have no intention of sleeping with you?

What did you do or not do to make that person not want to sleep with you?

This is not about being in the mood.

This is something far more serious.

Imagine getting married to someone. But they have no intentions of sleeping with you.

Now by this law, you cannot divorce them. So you can get married to someone and their intentions for the marriage is not to have sex but to live together with you essentially as roommates.

And now that's valid.

So, it's not about being in the mood. It's about choice.

You could be getting married to start a family while your spouse may just be getting married to live with you or off you without the intention of ever consumating such marriage.

The law says this difference doesn't matter as marriage is not a contract involving sex.

Tohsynetita1:
I think they should just find a way to balance it. Why if wife is in the mood and husband isn’t also? What should wife do?