₦airaland Forum

This is terrible. Netflix always producing garbage woke movies

Kobojunkie:
The free benefits that a man gains from being married. For the average married Nigerian man, marriage provides him with his personal housemaid/chef/nanny/sex-worker/laundry woman/therapist/assistant/house manager, etc.— all of this out of a woman desperate to cling to the Mrs badge from which she finds her worth — all at a cost that is next to free when compared to the market value. It is not easy to give all of that up, even when he has sidechicks who he knows can leave him at the drop of a kobo.

I think that's a big assumption on your party.

Most men run their homes/apartment effectively and efficiently before bringing home any woman.

Most men live fairly comfortably, no need for therapy, housemaid or a sex worker before they got married.

In fact, they have no reason to get married because they were already getting the sex and whatever "imaginary" benefits you think they are getting from the woman before the marriage.

Instead, they wanna build a family and this is why they always get married.

The woman on the other hand is not so much interested in this family in most cases. All she want is to cling to a man for survival.

This I say is almost 90% of the cases.

Hence once they get a little money, the family is no longer their problem. Instead they want out because they want "happiness"

For someone who is not happy but staying in the marriage shows her happiness is hinged ontop the resources and not love for the man

dollyjoy:
I am certain that more women in Nigeria would leave their husbands if they were economically independent.

and yet we turn around and blame the men.

Yet we all know women are the problem. Just as you pointed out.

When a man is economically stable, he wants to provide and protect his family.

But once a woman is stable, she wants out of the marriage.

So, how's that the fault of the man?

And then you hear them telling the man, "go for therapy", "take her more on dates" "do the dishes"

And all the other nōnsense.

Yet behind our mind we know exactly what the problem is: the selfish nature of a woman.

One that made her marry a man simply because he can provide more and not because she care about him.

This same selfish nature let her abandon her family as soon as she can provide for herself without a care about how the separation will affect the husband or her kids.

Then you hear things like: "do what makes you happy", "she's chasing her happiness"

A woman's happiness does not involve the happiness of her kids or husbands or the family.

Just hers.

This selfish nature is what every law in the UK favors. It's what every influencers focus on in the UK.

Once she gets there she's bombarded with a daily dose of "happing without a husband or kids or living on child support"

And suddenly divorce becomes a shining medal for her.

Omalicious1:
The African mentality and tradition about marriage, can never work in an environment of western tradition and mentality. They will need to unlearn, learn and relearn the new ways.

no.

It's not the african idea of marriage. It's the toxic nature the women over there have built where they rather walk out instead of figuring things out when issues comes up.

I say this because, the white people over there are facing the same high divorce rate.

So much so that they are 1. Leaving their women behind and going to Asia as passport bros to get married

2. There are numerous podcasts blowing up encouraging the men not to get married.

So, your theory of African men mentality causing the problem does not hold water.

The problem is uncontrolled freedom one partner has over the other. And that uncontrolled partner is the female.

Hence they end up filing for divorce at any slightest provocation.

They know they will always win.

When you know you'll alway win in a game regardless of how you play, you stop working on yourself. You ignore redflags. You don't care about the algorithm no more. Even when a woman cheats, she will still win in court. Get the kids and child support while takin over the house you built.

How exactly do you expect them to put in the energy to make the relationship work? When leaving you is more lucrative than staying?

This is the problem.

Kobojunkie:
The laws in Nigeria also do same. No be general tradition for Nigeria say if a man gets tired of a woman, all he needs is to send her packing? Problem is religion and society makes it harder for me women to walk out of marriages in Nigeria.

so what keeps the Nigerian man in marriage despite the laws favoring him divorcing and yet can't keep the Nigerian woman in the UK once the law favours her divorce?

okomile:
If marriage is not working,better to separate
Nothing like have your mental health intact

Good luck to both of them

the problem nowadays is not mental health.

People are plain lazy at working out their problems.

Rather than sit down and talk things and look for ways to solve issues. They want to prove point that they can do without you.

It's a toxic thing we've done to ourselves.

PapaNnamdi:
Women live longer than men because "they" don't have a wife.

Your principal died because 😷
He lived longer when he was single don't you agree?

this is senseless so I won't bother debating on it.

Average life expectancy in Nigeria is 54 years old.

A Nigerian man on average is expected to live up to 54.3 years old before dieing.

Op, you're 45 years old. On average, you still have 9 years ahead of you.

This is on average. You could still make it up to 100 years old.

But let's be sincere with ourselves. Now is the time to really settle down.

I'm not saying spend your 2 million on a woman in marriage or wedding.

You can impregnate one and start living together. Start a family.

This is the best course of action I'll suggest.

Then proceed to learning a skill.

Business is risky right now but a skill will actually help you a lot.

I don't have an idea of the skill to learn but learning a skill will ensure regular food for the family.

Forget the hustling now. Focus on how to grow a family.

Forget "chasing money now" or the idea "making it big".

Focus on family and how to provide for the family you want to start.

I'm not saying family will attract blessings. But if the big dreams will not come at least work on the smaller dream of family before you loose both the small and big dreams.

Some people come into wealth very late in life and you might be the same but how will you enjoy your wife and children when you're 60 something and they are so little?

Please be strategic o.

PapaNnamdi:
If you have these type of friends, you will die of depression and poverty,

lolz.

I think some of you have decided to serve money all your lives without anything else.

And worst still, you'll die a pauper after all the money chasing.

It's almost laughable.

Money is not the be all of life. Most people will never have the lump sum of money in their bank account.

Heck, more than 90% of people will live paycheck to paycheck all their lives regardless of how hard or smart they hustle.

If you can sustain a family living paycheck to paycheck, do it.

If you want to wait until you have it all figured out, you'll miss out on the pleasures of having a family.

I have a principal then in high school. He waited until he was almost 50 before starting his family.

He rose from being a mere secondary school teacher until he became a vice principal and then the principal of the school before he started his family.

That was either in his 51 or 55 years of age. His wife gave birth to two boys.

She was a younger woman. I think about 6 or 7 years after his marriage, then we were already out of secondary when he died.

I remember this vividly because we contributed money to support the family at the time.

His first son was barely out of primary school. Now he has left all that hustling and family as a burden to someone else.

Did all that hustling payoff? Was he a rich man? Of course not.

This will be the reality of most people. Either they make it too late without much to show for it or they make it too late and won't enjoy the family they started.

The average life expectancy in Nigeria is 56 years at the upper limit.

On average, not wishing the op bad but a man in his 45 years is expected to have a life of 10 or 11 years ahead of him with all things being equal.

If op should marry today, his first child will be 15 years Old when he dies on average.

At 15, that Child will still be in secondary school with the younger ones following closely.

Now, assuming the op continues his hustle. He has been on earth for 45 years and has saved 2 million in his 45th year.

Now do the maths, do you think he'll suddenly amass a billion dollars in the next 15 years or he'll become super wealthy?

I understand that anything can happen. But let's be realistic.

Op you have been hustling. And you need to keep hustling. Never give up.

But if you've done something for 45 years, maybe try something new.

No one is saying Starting a family will attract blessings.

All I'm saying is starting a family now will put you in the best position to enjoy them and help them enjoy you too.

Because you'll have a longer time to spend with with them, take care of them and actually train your children in way you want and live a legacy.

Thank you.

lilsmart:
Please can you highlight the Rubbish

everything he posted is highlighted

Fiscus105:
If someone ask you, if you have robbed in the past won't you angry? Or you want to tell me, you are type which everyone can throw every insult on and still not angry.

no.

I won't get angry instead I'll want to know why or what prompt them to ask the question in the first place

And then make Changes.

It's not accusations for your loved one to ask you questions. What's important is why they are asking such questions.

Something prompted them. And it's good to know such because others might be thinking the same thing.

Again two people starting a relationship require trust. Trust is earned not given.

The man has done nothing wrong. If my woman is receiving calls from numerous guys I'll ask questions.

If one guy keeps calling her, I'll ask questions. If a lot of guys are hailing her on the street I'll ask questions.

If e reach your turn, no ask.

buttlover:
2m not bad. Try give girl belle na

I support this though.

45 you suppose don start family o. Not like there's a time line but from personal point of view I'll start a family.

If you won't die rich, at least let a family come from you.

Because na rubbish him dey post

64kent:
so i stared talking with this babe i liked and we seem to be doing well ......but i noticed that she gets different calls from different guys and the tone in which they speak often gets me worried and i had to ask this question ??
but no she is angry and not wanting to talk to me
help what do i do ?

na normal gaslightin tactics from them.

If she has not done it before she won't be getting angry

All these boastings mean nothing if all your political nonsense don't translate to solving real life issues.

I'm this. I'm that politically but are we enjoying anything from you?

See how everyone is looking serious like they don't know they are just going to loot the money.

It's too comical this country and to see they don't even laugh makes it funnier.

The state is expected to earn a total of 1.6 trillion.

The state will spend exactly that in the new budget.

No savings from it. Even more so, the state will borrow in the next year because it's typical that we will always spend above budget when executing the proposed project.

danvon:
If 2baba was American he would have been cancelled long time ago

do you need red pen?

Mirasteel:
Her choice, her life.

She can do whatever she likes.

she cannot do whatever she likes o.

No one can

kpankpangolo:
Nothing new. If dating the opposite gender fails repeatedly, try your gender.

or work on yourself

If you're in a public space, anyone can snap or video you.

It's not against the law as long as its not your private property.

She can't arrest her.

Gotocourt:
Who I go invite come today for cabling

you be NEPA? why you Wan wire?

HIV is not a death sentence. More people die from diabetes and malaria.

Malaria and typhoid kill faster and more people than HIV.

HIV is scary because we have made it so. But there are more deadly disease out there.

However, it comes with a burden: the constant need to take drugs everyday for life.

Gotocourt:
Rawww raww rawww

Lemme fire down

please don't go raw.

I'm quoting this because of other people who might be naive enough to take this seriously.

It's not a cure for HIV. It helps prevent you from contracting HIV.

It doesn't cure HIV.

Please continue using condoms if you cannot abstain

Besides, it's not available in Nigeria yet until 2027 and might cost around N60k per year.

Bullhari:
Any vaccine that must be taken yearly is not worth it

it's twice a year.

Better than taking pills everyday if you ask me

NOETHNICITY:
My guys will throw away their cartons of condoms and starts going in raw

it's for prevention not cure o.

Besides it'll take a while to achieve herd immunity so everyone should continue using condoms abeg.

Goodmarlian:
The real giant of Africa South Africa the most outspoken black nation on earth competing with the whites no wonder they hate other African countries because they are not ready to grow.

lolz.

You didn't read the article though.

It's countries with highest numbers of infected people that they are starting with.

Nigeria'a battle with HIV has been a huge success until the recent Trump administration started cutting aids to the country.

It's almost as though we won the battle against aids.

So much so that doctors don't see HIV cases as much as a whole week in the hospital unlike before.

always247:
there was time without pampers and humans survived

it's something that amazed me a lot.

These companies have marketed their products so much that people are killing themselves to buy it and use instead of the cheaper alternatives.

Most of us didn't grow with pampers but napkin.

Most of us never tasted SMA gold or the other milk. But we are thriving.

Today parents buy all these even when they know they cant afford it. It's more like fashion now.

I remember when my step mum gave birth a few years back. Nothing she didn't buy. Most ended up not getting used.

Especially the milk, the baby won't even drink this milk o. Na my uncle come even dey pity my father dey advice am.

Dey tell am say as him dey struggle him like am? Say na how dem train am be this?

We've made the baby process so expensive just as we have made marriage very expensive.

How do you do the same thing 3 times? We do traditional, do court, do church and then add reception.

The same marriage o. And in all these we'll follow procedures and conditions laid out by who?

"oh this is just how people do it".

It's a painful reality really

MONEY247:
The marriage would end up a mirrage...
#100,000 is not feasible financially for a man or woman who wants to marry and live comfortably with their spouse....
Imagine the kids
Imagine the food expense...
Transportation...
Other financial obligations and commitments

You gonna be choked......

people wey dey earn millions shey all their marriages dey stable?

DMerciful:
Why are they not serious about state police? What's the meaning of renewed advocacy for state police? Who are they advocating to? The president?

these guys are in power physically but mentally they don't feel powerful or the extent of the power.

Except it's to oppress individuals. They are incapable of effecting systemic changes.

If all governors come together and say they are advocating for state police what would citizens do when they come together to protest?

These are people who are supposed to almost make a statement and start working towards making it a reality.

But in their heads, they must advocate to "higher power"?

Same with the president. He's also always appealing to someone

There's no farmer-herders conflicts.

There are herders moving about killing innocent farmers on their farms

Thanks to those that called. I feel lifted

Makinaki:
No one has said rail has no economic benefits. My beef is with the route. I still contend that rail travel to a neighbouring country like Cameroon is more beneficial economically than Maradi in Niger. God knows our unmanned border with Niger is a major cause of our banditry problem in this country

what exactly are we even sourcing from Niger that would warrant the rail route to that place?