₦airaland Forum

How did I miss thís?

Clear win for Teddy.

That opener was a DON DEMARCO moment.

teddybiyasi:
sir ibime thanks for that single bar

You must be referring to thís bar I used back in 2008 Nairalands Finest tourney.

Sauron FOLDED YOU OVER/ but you gave the judges more 'kickbacks' than 'LOADED HOLSTERS'/
I hope u bribed again . . . 'cus you couldn’t 'win free'. . . if you hosted SHOWS WITH 'OPRAH'!/


Thank you! Thank you!

ELYMAXiimus:
From experience, i've noticed that the longer the multis the weaker the punch.
In a battle it's best you keep it not too long. Just keep it moderate.

Different people with different taste.
Some judge the rhyme crit based on how long the multis are, while some focus on how technically perfect they are.

For me, i think if a nigga can do a 4syllabic rhyme scheme nd keep it clean, it's okay.
The rhyme crit is just to maintain rhythm.
What's the point of you rhyming 10syllables nd your punches are weak?


I look forward to a time when battles will be judged based on only PUNCHLINES n DELIVERY


PUNCHLINES : consisting wordplay, metaphors, similies nd personals

DELIVERY : consisting, rhymes, flow nd set-ups..




I wonder why we give seperate points for wordplay, for mets, nd for personals. And after these we still go ahead to give points for PUNCHLINES.
After all, w/p, mets, nd personals are what make up these punchlines.

I think we should have just PUNCHLINES nd DELIVERY as our battles decider...


This will give any battler the freedom to punch how he or she wishes.
It shouldn't be by force to wordplay, it shouldnt be by force to use personals. Nd so on.
Every individual have their specialty.

All i'm just tryna say is that, a punch is a punch. Be it wordplay, mets, pers.

E.g, if a Wordplay = a punchline
what's the point of awarding points for them seperately?
What's the point of awarding points for wordplay, then award for punchline again when you know they're the same?


There are times when one has so many punchlines. But you can't complete ur verse just cos you need to put some wordplays in it, or some pers. Nd so on. Nd this shouldnt be so.

I've also got an idea of battling that should be fun.


I have a lot to say. maybe i should take this to the lecture thread?

Actually, reading this again, you are correct. I misread

I can show you a thousand punchlines that don't use wordplay or metas.

The best punchline in the last tourney had none of the above:

KSslib on his relief shoe/ met a fine dame on a road he briefed through/
He said "I walked a thousand miles just to meet you"/ By the look of his kicks, she replied "I believe you"/

Sidd a member of your crew, I bet you thought him tasteful/
I ain't talking racial/ but any dog that survived around a Calabar man this long should be more than grateful/

I beat Prince beyond recognition. . . till he scream "WHO AM I!!"


No metas, no wordplay.


Then you have punchlines that use idioms eg:

Ibime is nothing to write home about. . . .but I'll make sure news of his death reaches his moms/

And most of Mikuz punchlines use idioms also

Ksslib:
I don't know why base is still arguing that ish.

Duc (tive) Or-- Gans
Struck (by) Gor-- Gons

Is 4syllabic rhyming. And no, it didn't fall out.

Oh well!

There's no fallout here.

The only difference is the tive and by which is neither here nor there

Nihilist:
You said Sterling is a better number 10, we disproved that.

Then you said Sterling doesn't play 10, no problem we showed that Oscar has better stats overall.

I just dey look you. . . . na you dey pull stats up and down the place, claiming you "disproved something", then later claim that:

Nihilist:
They produce at a similar rate and trying to distinguish who is better is like splitting hairs.

I no dey interested in your stats from day one as there's nothing to compare on. You just dey form ITK since. All I want to see if the certificate that allows you to wield and interprete stats.

Hehehehe. . . thís ninja is getting desperate.

Sterling is a better no10 than Oscar. That's correct.

Sterling has not played no10 thís season. That's correct.

Am I the one pulling no10 stats to prove anything?

Hazard is also a better no10 than Oscar even though they barely plays there but has done so in the past.

Don't pull me stats to argue otherwise. I cannot be held responsible for your stùpidity.

Thís is why I keep asking to see certificate.

AirborneLacer:
And you must be GEJ, the slowpoke whose promise of fresh air is only seen circulating in his closet?

Ibime your jokes are not funny.

I'd rather pay a busy geek like Seun of Nairaland to humor me with programming codes

Leave me dey laugh dey go jare.

Nihilist knows the origin of the jibe. Na inside joke.


#NihilistShowYourCertificate

AirborneLacer:
What's with this incessant rant for a certificate?

The other day it was a polythecnic student jibe.

Cant Ibime argue without being plain childish?

It's phucking nauseating.

Do you see the ninja complaining? We all jesting, you dey carry matter for head. I know you are Nihilist biggest fan on thís forum but slow your role ogbeni.

Nihilist is the Buhari of thís section. All his statistics and claims of intellligence won't move us until we #seehiscertificate.

TreQuartista:
2 years later, we are still waiting for Capoue, Sandro and Paulinho to beast the EPL.

Man City did win the league though as promised with Fernandinho.

BTW, ma Tottenham comment was made long before they sold Gareth Bale. I was clear enough that with Capoue, Dembele and co providing platform behind platform behind Gareth Bale, Spurs should beast. But Spurs are a crisis club. . . so I take the loss on that one.


Compare with a nigga who told us Torres failing is down to the midfielders, who led campaign against Jose on Mata issue. Who told us we don't need to replace Mikel and Ramires and that defence is our problem. A ninja now telling us he's not sure anymore if Oscar is better than Sterling.

If knowledge of footie was requisite for commenting on EPL threads, Nihilist would have long been sent to rugby thread where I'm sure he's very knowledgeable.

A ninja claiming he's proved with stats that apply to a no10 that Oscar has better stats, forgetting that Sterling hasn't played a single game at no10 thís season.

Thís is what happens when a ninja has access to information and no education to use it properly.

#NihilistShowYourCertificate

Nihilist:
The funny thing is that through out this discussion, I have never once said once said that Oscar is better than Sterling.

They produce at a similar rate and trying to distinguish who is better is like splitting hairs.

After all your yarns, you go take style dey change mouth. I thought you just said Sterling is another SWP, now you can't decide if Oscar is better than SWP.


See as mouth dey change? Na small small. Better position yourself well to make a full backtrack. And trust me, you will backtrack, just like you did on Torres, Mata, Mikel and Ramires. No be matter of time?

At season start you told us Oscar is one of the top 5 Under-23 players in the world, now you can't say for certain if he's better than Sterling.


As with every debate, the passing of time brings all truth to light. At season start when I said Sterling is better than Oscar, most people jumped on me to criticise. . .they couldn't believe I would say şuch a thing. Oya make time pass. . . today, most of those people will not consider that a crazy statement.

But no, pride must make Nihilist form stronghead. He must argue the matter. But just incase, he will put disclaimer that "I am not saying Oscar is better than Sterling" cos it's obvious that as the season progresses, he finds himself increasingly on the wrong side of the argument.

Abi you no know your mind? Wayo man. I know my own mind o. Sterling is better than Oscar 100%. No need for disclaimer.


#NihilistShowYourCertificate

I just dey humour you Nihilist.

Just in the last few hours, you've been pulling statistics out your àss in a classic case of a ninja with little head for numbers trying to feel smart.

You started with quoting no of tackles which means nothing e.g. Oscar made 1.7 tackles per game whilst Zouma only made 1.2. WTF would someone do with şuch data.

Then you tell us Oscar has more passes and passing accuracy. Of course Xabi Alonso is supposed to have better passing stats than Hazard. One is a central midfielder, the other is a winger/forward who is more interested in dribbles and crosses. You can't tell us in one breath that Sterling has been playing striker then next minute start comparing no of touches with a central midfielder. Abi you no hear say Van Persie only had 14 touches in a match?

Then you tell us Oscar has more goals and assists. Yes, one more goal in the league, but less goals and assists in all competitions. Oscar should even double Sterlings productivity seeing that he plays for a better team.

You see why I can't argue stats with you, especially since that day you showed us you can't do simple proportional reasoning?

Quoting all these stats is either a show of stupidity, busybody or a ninja trying to feel intelligent. I'm not sure which one is worrying you.

If you continue thís asinine comparison of statistics, I will have reason to question your university certificate.

#NihilistShowYourCertificate

Ninjas with shaky education love quoting stats to make themselves feel intelligent.

Here's a simple fact - Sterling this season has 8 goals, Oscar has 7. One plays for a midtable team whilst the other plays for a top team that score goals left, right and centre.

There is no point telling us Oscar is the third or 4th top scorer in Chelsea. His position on the pitch in a team scoring this many goals should be seeing him on 12 goals + 10 assists by now.

Instead all we're hearing every game on this thread is "Oscar is a fool, Oscar na mumu, Oscar no sabi pass, Oscar is pissing me off".

Mr Nihilist, I can't be arguing Oscar vs Sterling with you. It's an insult. I might as well argue Ronaldo vs Willian. Anybody with an iota of footie intelligence knows who is better.

You go even go dey quote any website wey go tell you say Oscar had better rating and şuch and şuch statistics. I proved my intellligence in the 4 walls of a school mate. I no fit argue foolishness with you.

Who saw Oscar in League Cup clash? We all saw Sterling. If you like go quote any stats to tell us Oscar performed better in that clash, when we all know he was a nonentity, whilst Jose was scrambling all sort of tactics from the coaching manual to nullify Sterling. Sterling even made Liverpool look like Chelsea whilst even Hazard and co were looking like Liverpool players.

We see Sterling every game. Oscar na 'period'. . . we only see him once a month. He will wait till we're playing Burnley or Swansea with Siggy and Carrol as their only midfielders to shine.

Check your calendar. It's almost time for Oscar to shine again. Since Swansea, he disappeared against Liverpool, Bradford and Man City. Aston Villa next, maybe his period would be due.

Sterling has never had a better season than Oscar yet he's having a better season this year, and last year Oscar was nowhere to be seen in Young Player of the year nominees while Sterling was celebrated. Some ninjas should quit footie and become comedians.

Sterling has played 5 games as forward, he is now suddenly a forward all season? The ninja so good, Brendan found a striking solution in him, just like he played him at no10 and right wing-back in the past.

Now, what do you have to say about a no10 who plays virtually as a striker (cos I never see him in the midfield) and has only 7 goals and 5 assists in a team that have scored close to 80 goals this season?

If we list the best players from the League Cup semifinal, Sterling will be no1 while Oscar will not make the top 15.

You can't compare ninjas who carry their team with ninja like Oscar who gets carried by his teammates. Mr weakest link. If he was in a Liverpool team going through crisis, you'll see him counting beans on the bench behind Lallana and Markovic.

In Oscars 3 years at Chelsea, nobody can ever point to a period where Oscar played well when the team was playing poorly. He's the ultimate passenger - a boat that can only be lifted by a rising tide. Sterling on the other hand is the outstanding player for his team whilst they're in crisis.

Thunder fire who say Oscar is better than Sterling.

I no even call anybody name, see as the ninja came running.

His poor footie knowledge was exposed the moment he made that argument and he's spending the rest of the season writing paragraphs to explain his argument. Imagine comparing the 'mover and shaker' of one team with the weakest link in another team. A mover and shaker that had Chelsea on tenterhooks over 2 legs recently while Oscar was his usual 'least influential' man on the pitch.

But what else would you expect from a ninja who was happy with Ramires and Mikel as Chelsea midfield two. Abeg wey the rugby thread? We need to send some people there.

I repeat - Thunder fire who say Oscar is better than Sterling. No long arguments.

See wetin Sterling dey play here against West Ham. Turning Winston Reid into a dummy.

Thunder fire who say that brainless Oscar is better than this kid.

^^^ Oil money talking.

BTW, WTF is this on Sammy Ameobis head? Niggas still frying their hair in 2015. SMH.

Na Sturridge and Sterling start this nonsense, not forgetting French niggas like DD and Saha.

Cracking goal from Sammy Ameobi though.

Emaprince:
With what I've seen so far,I wonder how chelsea will cope against psg.seems the team lacks confidence.smh

We will crush PSG.

They aint so great this season. We beat them last year with Torres and Demba Ba. Now we have Costa and Fabregas.

If all else fails, David Luiz would dash us one goal.

Noah13:
alright.
so the question is - did he get all these honours in his first season?

We ain't hating on either of them, but let it be on record that age is the only reason you would put Courtois ahead of Cech - building for the future.

Nihilist:
What point exactly are you going to make?

That Oscar wasn't bossing in a game we didn't need to win?

Or did you honestly expect Jose to send the boys out to play the same way we played against Swansea?

The fact that Oscar attempted more tackles than Ivanovic, Zouma, and John Terry tells you all you need to know about how Jose set the team up tonight

Ibime go and buy eyedrop abeg.

Don't blame me ninja for Chelsea fans criticising Oscar on thís thread.

The criticisms have been flowing long before Ibime mentioned Oscar today.

He should do his talking on the pitch. I am not the one who claimed at season start that Oscar is in the top 3 Under-23 players in the world. An assertion that would make the person who said it cringe today.

And don't give us büllshit statistics about tackles. One player makes 3 tackles a game, another makes 2, another makes 1. What are we supposed to read into şuch light numbers? Some of us went to school you know.

David Silva had the two Fernandos behind him and the agricultural Milner and Navas beside him, yet he put his foot on the ball and controlled the game. What was Oscar doing? Making 3 tackles according to you?

Nihilist:
Negro please.

Did Oscar tell you that he was a playmaker? You might as well blame Matic and Ramires for not controlling the game too. Afterall Fabregas controls the game from the same deep position they play.

You suffer from jaundice and apollo if you dont realize that Oscar's main task today was to defend from the front.

And if he can't playmake, what's he doing in that position?

Defend from front ke, defend from front ni! Ninjas like Mo Diame can defend from the front, so what makes Oscar special?

Nigga with a football IQ of 50 and the pass of a ràpist.

Lotus-Cheek coming on.

I guess Guapo will use that to tell Nateevs about youth integration.

BTW, Navas showed Azpi pepper all game.

CFCfan:
Right on cue... The NBC commentator has just said Hazard has been quiet

Hazard is a winger who relies on his midfield getting the ball out wide to him to get in the game. Besides, he laid on the assist.

Now what is Oscar's excuse? Better yet, when has he ever taken control of a game in midfield with that his football IQ of 50. He's waiting to play Swansea again when all their midfielders are injured so he can shine again.

Aguero off, we can now afford to play slightly higher up the pitch.

Can Remy hold the right wing defensively?

Tval:
Has anyone seen Oscar?

Have you ever seen Oscar in any big game?

Why won't Chelsea fans applaud Lampard when he's Chelseas greatest ever player?

Noah13:
I think we shouldn't judge anymore since both keepers face times when they concede really poor goals

Cech of Champions league final, I know

Cech of UEF A Cup final, I know

Cech who's won Chelsea many titles I know

The only Courtois I know is the one trying to lose Chelsea the league right now.

There is no big game that Cech has fùcked up Chelseas chances so why shouldn't I judge?

Petr I know, Cech I know, but who is Courtois?

That should put an end to all Cech vs Courtois debate

Darkrebel666:
that's not clean .. quit the flattery and tell him the truth so he can improve

That flow is clean. . . .show me where he was off-beat.

You can say you don't like his Warri accent or lyricism. . . but his flow is clean as phuck


Now, wey your own audio (on beat), lemme check if your flow is clean or discombobulated like Glacierz and co.

Clean flow Warriblood

Some great textcees could learn to flow on beat like you.

But come, your voice never break at 18?

GLACIERZ:
Where is Ibime?
What is that grown man saying? I started from the beginning of every bar nao

The flow fell off from 0:45 badly. . . . wasn't on beat from that point, with no recognition of where the bar ends.

Na God win


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YZDS72ov1rU&feature=youtube_gdata_player

This beating simply follows the laws of physics

Force = Mass x acceleration