₦airaland Forum

Rtopzy:
Lwkmd

lmao! that was how he substituted his opponent for Naija politicians.. poor dude.

izzou:
Lol



Sometimes I wonder if we can ever become used to steady power supply

when power is available for more than 48 hrs and unconsciously, one starts getting worried bcz u know it's not normal. Infact u have to keep checking ur account balance if phcn haven't had access to ur account

izzou:
Lol

Sometimes I wonder if we can ever become used to steady power supply

when power is available for more than 48 hrs and unconciosu

Dahkogrin007:
Just thinking out loud shaaa

Imagine BIAFRA​ finally becomes a NATION
Hehehehe O boy I don become FOREIGNER
All these western Nigerian girls go give me some respect they
give Malaysians because am across the Border too
MTN will change our +234 zip code to international like +299​
If I dey Onitsha call my girl for Lagos
I go be like.....
"Hello Bella, How's Nigeria today?
Uhhh.....The weather's been snowy over here in ONIT TOWN
I'm thinking to make the travel as proposed and come see
you. But am yet to book my flight
Bros, whether na bus I use come or na keke, na border we dey
cross, so na flight??
My girl will be like BEMBEE I wanna come spend the summer
vacation with you, Please
Our currency go change. We go dey use Western Union to
transfer money from Aba (now Abadeen​) to Kaduna.
If U graduated from a Nigerian University, U studied abroad....
If u're working in an FGN parastatal, u're working abroad.
NYSC​ will dieee
And we will have BB BIAFRA​
Our National Team will be the Biting Pythons Of the Byte of
BIAFRA
Our New states will be:
BIAFRA MUNICIPAL
Anambra: Anambrol AK​
Enugu: EnuHilton EN​
Imo: Imofreece OW​
Abia: Abioshinghton UM​
Ebonyi: Salt-lake Town ABK​
Edo: Edossey BEN​
BIAFRA SOUTH
Rivers: Riverton PH​
Delta: Deltron Island AS​
AkwaIbom: Santa Aquifer UY​
Cross River: Lakers Cross CAL​
We'll have our own Int'l Passports and national ID
Our own currency fit be the BIFAR
All these Dangote Lorries that transport goods from Northern
Nigeria will stop at our borders for custom check
We'll have our own football clubs and play in the CAF Cup of
Nations.
We'll play our own Classical Anthem when we make
appearances in the World Cup and Olympics.
I don tire for typing.... I'm packing my bags.
Definitely leaving Nigeria and flying to my new country

imagine.. see effect of not puff puff passing, instead u drag everything alone. jonzing unltd

NwaObinkita:
His mom looks so stubborn now,
It is obvious she is a witch And her witchcraft is making I-Go-Dye successful

U just sounded like a jealous witch

tyson98:
He didn't invite Stephanie for sule to pass d night with

u be chaos man

one of his followers commented 'congrat cute'. I'm absolutely sure 'she' was seeing d whip n d packaging.
poverty no get family

alignacademy:
The audio to the 2nd picture would be interesting to listen to.

Shouts from the couple and the assistant best man in the middle...

That uncle backing them was like 'chai these kids wan cast me for here o'

nkwuocha1:
1.I eat the inner part of bread,creating a deep hole and then discarding the rest. My wife gets seriously upset when I do that. Sorry Nne, even my mother gave up on me.

2.Reading in the toilet ,while taking my poo

3.Biting off fingernails

4. Can't look at the opposite sex eye balls for more than 10 seconds without finding a way out!!!

5.Rubber bands on my wrist .Now my son keeps yanking it off my wrist.The pains though.... I think this will be the first habit to drop sincerely.

6. Still pressing and succkin breast. .I love breast ooo. I remember several times madam no go give me her "isi ewu ".I go just dey roll for bed like earthworm wey meet salt. Then in my most sober/helpless voice,i go beg, "Nkem please at least allow me to suck your breeast ,what kind of wickedness is this? "

7. Still licking powdered milk .Yeah, do give a some to my son by pouring some on his palm .Partners in crime

8. Stealing meat from the pot at night. Yes I'm good in creating temporal potholes in soup.

9. Using dirty laundry to clean my shoes. Really don't care the cost of the clothe. Always think since its going to be washed anyway, then it's enough reason I use it to clean my office shoes. I'm the only OGA allowed to do that

10. Can shower with any kind of soap. I don't care to use detergent sef. As for cream, I fit rub anything. On several occasions I don rub relaxer comot .I felt terribly bad the whole of that day.Women!!

11. Putting already wrapped gele on my head
I usually do this as a child whenever my mom comes back from occasion and drops or hang the wrapped gele. I go just put am for my head while walking round the house. Now I dey wear my wife own .She go laugh sotee catarrh and tears go dey comot from her mouth. When I dey beg her that year to marry me she been dey do Shakara ooo

12. Sewing back buttons on my shirts.

13. Separating burnt groundnut from the fresh ones while eating. And the end of the day, I'd found out I ate almost nothing.

14. Tying same pairs of socks together,so as not to loose the other.My mother introduced this act after several beatings whenever I lost my socks. Believe me I can turn the whole house inside out while looking for a single socks.

ur mama really tried mehn.. your wife facing it now

dmltoyin:
If itz Mark zuck Yall gonn say he is a humble man

lol. true

legendte:
Funny thing is that only poor souls ask such questions.

Exactly my thought!
They have all the time and memory to store and analyse another person who doesnt give a shit about them.

All ye snake eaters, I hail o!

princechurchill:
Some people don eat their great grand parents that came in form of snakes for supervision on their grand children

lol.. dem no see lion, dog, n others to come in their form abi. na snake form dem choose. tah!!!

DoNotGiveUp:
Surulere, Sir

how do I contact u? I have got a deal for u

DoNotGiveUp:
RIP Sen. Adeleke


I recently lost my job and have been feeling depressed because I am no longer able to cater for my parents and siblings. I have been searching and applying for a new job but yet to get one.

To survive during this hard times;
Please, I humbly beg you to let me handle your laundry. Trust me, I am very good with washing and ironing clothes because my colleagues usually ask which dry cleaner does my laundry.
If you have a business, please you could also send me to pick up and deliver any parcel within Lagos.

NB: I had to create a new account so I can be anonymous and not feel ashamed to do this. Before you do transaction with me, I am willing to tender a valid national ID.

Please help me.

where in Lagos do u stay bro?

cogbuagu:
I'm am the one responsible for that oi.

to type am well sef dey hard u, talkless of to talk am well with mouth.

JohnXcel:
Hmm...where does one start from ??

To all Firstborns (whether boy or girl); fight like CRAZY!

No matter what circumstances/problems you find yourself, FIGHT, and PREVAIL WITH GOD!

Hustle like you have never hustled before. Believe in yourself and you'll eventually prevail with men.

That's all...

Thank you!

This is how I have been surviving all these years.

dotcomnamename:
I am sorry, but you are M-A-D

Lol. Bros but u harsh!

Omagago:
I don't support sex outside marriage cos that's fornication.
He is indirectly saying that he is a fornicator.

so you playing God has sentenced him to hell already

EXLOVER:
10 years to come, the kind of news when we go dey hear for this naija ehn. You go fear news like


Wizkid took his car to mechanic workshop


Davido just pay for his dstv subscription


Timaya just finish having Sex


Yemi Alade just abort a baby


Psquare snap picture with Mogabe


Tonto Dike is now a lesbian


Blackface sign 2face


Dbanj just finish taking his bath


Patoranking was seen cooking Indomie


Terry g start hawking yam


The only better news will be Me the new president of Nigeria

taaa!!!!! take the blackface sign tubaba back!

Now u can continue....

OlujobaSamuel:
dey wan kill you but na roof bullets dey hit, na bus wey you no fit carry run dem dey spray? i wont say na scam sha

hehehe.. I was actually expecting to see those 'sports cars' of his sprayed with bullets. then I could have believed the story to some extent.
guess it was a low budget film they acted.

TsaTrinity:
Thrice ma nigga since I knew maself...and am still very young....young enough get to the rank of a Field Marshal some day

Lol. Do have a happy married life in advance then Field Marshal.

blovesther:
Though I'm not a man, I wouldn't want my husband to spend more than 500k for just 200 people
I don't want to go hungry and start counting ceiling after my wedding

u sound like an understanding woman , but are you?

TsaTrinity:
Am budgeting #100m

have u ever counted #1m ?

na to go dey invest in whistles sure pass now o.


...if only they can name those behind these crimes, we would believe this trash.
Politicians; Level 1 G boys with mad formats. Those young lads dey learn.

odinga1of:
Bro you mean those Civilians om Mufti looking for any soft boys all in the name of yahoo boys.

Lol. you know right!

You obviously don't sound like one who lectures in a typical Nigerian university. They are all bunch of sadists there.
Some would ask you to come for lecture at 6:30am, you are 5minutes late... you are automatically absent for the day. That's how Carry over piles up, before you know what's up.....
you finish with a 3rd class!

Well said. The hustle continues. #IamMyOwnBoss

Built2last:
Credit Alert: N25,000,000 Ref: BBNaija 2017 - EFE Avail. Bal: N25,001,256

LMAO! imagine that kind credit alert on top previous available balance! Now tell me why your thinking no go change afterwards.

AntiWailer:
Suicide should never be an option. Only a loser should consider suicide.

It can never get worse. You have to keep pushing

You are not the best, you are not the worst.

I have always told people. You don't need to go far to look for hope. I am a living testimony.

I have hawked before and the total amount of good I hawked was 12 Naira and guess what, I don't usually finish selling it after spending all day in the sun.

I have done several menial jobs before.

Trekked a distance several times. The day I told my driver I have trekked this path several times, he smiled and told me it was not possible.

I remember how many people contributed for my Jamb Form. Total amount was less than 1000.

I remembered how it was not easy to pay school fees that is not up to 3K per session back then. The blood pressure and fear of not writing exams on Examination Day.

Parents were once rich but everything went crazy along the line, if they had killed themselves they will not be alive to live in the House I built for them in just 6 months.

I am not rich but I am living my dream live without ever CHEATING ANYBODY, 1 DIME FROM ANY POLITICIAN. Pure Hardwork and Dedication.

If it is a girl, Plenty will come begging for you when you achieve your dream.

If it a guy, plenty will come begging when you finish working on yourself.

I am just typing this to let you know that whatever you are going through. It will soon be history.

Just keep your heads up and believe in yourself.

Have a dream you are chasing and NEVER GIVE UP. NOTHING , I repeat NOTHING is worth 'DIEING' for.


Move close to whatever you believe in and always be hopeful.

Nice one. I'm sure this would restore hope in some people reading this.... including me.

To whom it may concern... I can't upload pictures on NL. Please help!!!

Its unfortunate that even phone addicts still believe the poo despite obvious evidences.