₦airaland Forum

Hp u had a nice time visiting those places. Did u wear any uniform?

A big burly bartender had a contest going. Anyone that could get another drop of juice out of a lemon after he squeezed it would receive $1000. All the stevedores, lumberjacks, oil workers, construction workers every type of strong men tried, but they all failed.

Then, one day a scrawny little man with glasses and a derby hat came in, and asked to try out. Of course all the barflies, etc., laughed their heads off. If those other strong men couldn't do it, how could this small person possibly do it.

So the bartender got a lemon and squeezed with all his might until no more juice was left and handed it to him. He squeezed and squeezed and, by George, not one, but three drops came out!

The bartender couldn't believe it! He exclaimed, "How did you do that? What line of work are you in, mister?"

The answer was "Why, I'm with the Internal Revenue Service."

Like Kirikiri, otta farm, FCID alagbon . . . .

who d heck is eldee?

abi u don dey find favours now he's a MOD?

young woman, where have u been since?

In ur prayers, tell God to allow us meet. OK

We may start another future from there _{(i wont let my other wives know)}

thats technology for you by the year 2020

Na wetin this one mean

Before the end of today, i go bring ur own story

After a day at the beach BenJay asked "Jeovy, how come all the girls are interested in you, and they don't pay any attention to me"?

Jeovy said said," well, if you won't tell anyone I'll tell you my secret. All you have to do is put a potato in your swimming suit. Then they will notice you!"

After the next day at the beach, BenJay said "Jeovy look, I did what you said, and all they did was laugh at me."

Jeovy said" NO,NO,Benjay, Put it in front! Not in back!!

Two Irish brothers Mick and Paddy have made a promise to their uncle. They had an Uncle Seamus who was a seafaring gent all his life and before he passed away, he made the boys promise to bury him at sea.

Of course he did pass away and the "boys" remembered to keep their promise.

So off they set with Uncle Seamus all stitched up in a burial bag and loaded onto their rowing boat. After a while Mick says, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out, Paddy?"

Without a word Paddy slips over the side only to be standing in water up to his knees. "Dis'll never do Mick, let's row some more".

After a bit more rowing Paddy slips over the side again but the water is only up to his belly, so on they row.

Again Mick asks Paddy, "Do yer tink dis is fer enuff out Paddy?" Once again Paddy slips over the side and almost immediately says, "No dis'll neva do". The water was only up to his chest.

So on they row and row and row when finally Paddy slips over the side and disappears!

Quite a bit of time goes by and poor Mick is really getting himself into a state when suddenly Paddy breaks the surface gasping for breath.

"Well is it deep enuff yet, Paddy?"

"Aye it tis! Can yer hand me da shovel."

Crayon

That was because i knew the goat was stolen. Me i no dey chop free food oh

Jeovy in full nativedress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the chemist.

Jeovy opens his wrapper and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandanna, unfolds it to reveal a smaller silk square, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom.

The condom has a number of patches on it. He holds it up, and eyes it critically.

'How much to repair it?' the Jeovy asks the pharmacist.
'Six naira,' says the pharmacist.
'How much for a new one?'
'Ten Naira,' says the pharmacist.

Jeovy folds the condom into the silk square and the cotton bandanna, places it in his sporran and marches out the door of the pharmacy, wrapper swinging.

A moment or two later the pharmacist hears a great shout go up, followed by an even greater shout.

Jeovy walks back into the pharmacy, and again speaks to the pharmacist.

'The Villagers have taken a vote,' Jeovy says. 'We'll have a new one.'

water color

A woman is frustrated with her love life because her husband has a massive crush on Brigitte Bardot.

To win back his attentions, she goes to a tattooist to have the letters 'BB' tattooed on her boobs. The tattooist warns her that age and gravity would probably make this unattractive later in life, and suggests the tattoo on her butt instead. She agrees, and bends over to receive a 'B' on each buttock.

When her husband gets home from work that night, she greets him by turning around, bending over, and lifting her dress to expose the artwork. "What do you think?" the wife says. "Uh, who the hell is Bob?" the husband replies.

Guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, You know I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job."

The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is Excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes, and he'll supply all of your clothes." "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips and you will have to satisfy her sexual urges. You'll be provided a two-bedroom apartment above the garage. The salary is $200,000 a year."

The guy, wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!" The social worker said, "Yeah, well , You started it."

but ur the best qualified quack around

Guilty until proven innocent - Why was this woman on trial?

Schoolboys Get Detention for Refusing to Pray to Allah

Preaching to the Pub

Children to be locked in school to stop them buying junk food

Hot female partner means more sex for men

Never underestimate cheap, easy or stupid in home maintenance

Carjackers' nightmare: intended victims are two cops

Weird looking (mug shot) Man arrested for selling pills to undercover cop

Family Of Robbery Suspect Says Customer Shouldn't Have Pulled Trigger

shenanigan

I wish ya all a smashing weekday

My people, I am saluted all of una today

Emperoh,

I didnt move it. I tink someone is trying to play god here

We need to start from the root to solve the problem

thugs will always be thugs no matter the level of education u give them

Ur the most handsome thug i've seen

Na where u they work?

Thames Bridge? Westminster Alley?

Cos its definitely not Obalende or Ojuelegba bridge

Na tru you yarn there so

Mukina,

U have time to reply some foolish statements oh. U need to maintain order. Any diss shld be deleted. Still surprised that u replied disses and still kept them there

We shld be talking abt Chelsea and not someone's parents. Dont Kitaun n Daps have respect again?

Maybe u need to tighten ur leash on Sports rules. Let jokes be said but any diss thats not healthy shld GET OUT.


I DONT WANNA SEE THIS RUBBISH AGAIN.

I'M BACK TO SPORTS NOW.

I dont need professionals like them

I need quacks like u

. . . to become a White Witch

Yes?

Na vegeterian i be oh.

Look darequam,

U had better put in your best, cos if u flop, dragons and vipers in this forum will make u regret registering here


NB: I'll watch ur back though. Keep the jokes coming

Clap hand for the boy na

U think say e easy to sabi woman anatomy?