₦airaland Forum

I don't really see anything wrong with him calling you the kids mum, obviously they know you are his wife. Then the sisiters age on facebook is nothing, my brother put his date of birth on facebook as 1979 meanwhile he was born in 1986. To me these are not issues or else you have noticed someother things you are not comfortable with . Try to learn how not to read meaning into everything, it will help you a lot.

The reason u still feel this way is because u are still in contact with him. Stop being his friend, cut all ties and contact with him. It will be a lot easier to forget him. Try to go out as much as possible, hang out with your friends. U are probably lonely.

@ poster , correct guy. Tell them oh.

I guess it should be your appearance, u should probably tone it down a little bit. Maybe dress a little bit conservative not too sexy during daytime. Then tone down d makeup . There are are some girls when u see them runs and aristo is written over them. They might not be that way but their appearance sends that mesage. If u are very curvy and busty maybe u will wear less hugging and revealing clothes. Hmm na wah, d problem be say these Nigerian married men have xray eyes, they can see curves through agbada sef.

so are u justifying him butchering his wife?

There is nothing wrong with u , its everywhere PH, Lagos, Abuja and even UK. I have heard of a lot of single girls complaining of the same problem. You just have to be patient.

For your information there are a lot of nice, hardworking, decent and homely Nigerians girls in the UK. You are probablynot searching in the right place. But goodluck with your search.

You said she is on your payroll so i guess she is not working, she needs something to keep her busy , like a job or small business venture or if she is a student, she should try and distract herself a little bit with her studies. I think she has too much time on her hands and it is actually not healthy for a relationship. Lets be realistic you have a business its not possible for you to see her everyday. You might be very busy some days , so it might not possible for you guys to talk 5 times a day. Her life is obviously centered around you. Its gud and its also bad. Little things like this can cause problems in relationships, i guess you started the relationship like this and she has gotten used to it . Maybe you try and send text messages very often, i think it will reduce her wanting to talk to you all the time cause she knows you are thinking of her. Then explain to her what you do, how your day is like so she gets to understand your work properly ,so when you tell her that i can't make it today she will understand. Then make sure you spend enough time with her when ever you are free. I think you should be fine.

@ poster , you should really listen to beknown , all other people are telling you about rankings of other universities. Yes masters petroleum engineering just started three years ago in London southbank university but the programme is very good as well. I know several Nigerians that graduated from there with masters in petroleum engineering that have gotten good oil and gas jobs in the UK. Life is all about risk , you just have to be  very optimistic and take the risk. everybodys destiny is different just because some people came to UK to do masters and have not gotten jobs does not mean yours will be the same. You are an Engineer working in a bank  and you are obviously not happy were you are. If you stay too long in the bank u will end up not having any job experience in the engineering field. A good masters degree will always benefit you.

Is it the girls father your friend is getting married to. The girl is not ready to get married, the church both of them are to attend is suppose to be ur friend and the girls decision . And people wonder y they have problems in marriage when they have parents deciding for them. What is the big deal about church, is it not the same God we are worshipping? Is it the church changing that will make your friend a good husband. If you date someone of a different faith, try and respect the persons faith or better still date someone that has the same faith with you , there is no where in the bible that states that a particular church is the best.

My sister just graduated from London Southbank University with Masters in Petroleum Engineering . She did not complain of the programme at all. I know several of her friends that were her course mates that have gotten graduate jobs in oil companies in the UK here with their southbank degrees, even as it is very difficult to get a graduate job in the UK. Its not about the universiyt ranking but how you sell yourself on your CV and job interviews. I can tell you of people that studied the same courses in high ranked universities in the UK and have still not gotten jobs, so its not about the rankings. This is actually not the best time to come to UK to study because you will have to leave after your studies and cannot really look for a job here. But if you want to study and go back to Nigeria yes southbank university petroleum engineering is good.

Men complaining about women that leave them because they did not have money . OK, how about the girls that stood by their men when they had nothing , only to be dumped when the guy starts making money.

Right now UK is very tight. Even for the UK citizens thanks to the conservative government with all their cuts and VAT and NI increase. If you are going on scholarship its not so bad to study in the UK . If you are self sponsored ,paid half of your fees with the hope of working and completing the fees and saving upkeep money then u should prepare yourself for first class suffer. If you have a job in Nigeria , please don't reisgn to go and do masters, instead keep your job and do your masters in Nigeria. If you don't have a job then you can leave and go for masters. Right now 60% of masters graduate are jobless. If you complete your masters and do not have family or friends to leave with in the UK, try and come home. Doing part time jobs and paying your rent and bills and even trying to care of your self will be not be easy at all but if you can cope with the suffer no problem.

The kids are his but not from patience, he does not have any child with patience. He had a girl friend when he was the deputy governor of Bayelsa state, she is the mother of the children.

Its all about understanding. Switching to the mans church will not make the marriage succesful. Couples that attend the same church still end up in divorce, men still date women in the church even when their wives attend the same church. I have a friend that is still an adventist and her husband attends redeem and they have a very good marriage. So it all boils down to understanding. But it is an issue that should be sorted out before marriage. I have seen men that change to their wives church. Different strokes for different folks.

What were you guys discussing when you were dating. This is not supposed to be an issue, you have already done tradtional marriage and both of you never discuused where you will do your church wedding? Are you getting married to your parents or his parents? Continue listening to people that have lived their lives. Its too late to start being confused, this is something you would have sorted out when courting. Go and marry in the mans church and have a peaceful marriage.

Since the men want the girls to act as wifes cook, clean, wash , sleep with them, go to market. Then they should also act as husbands take care of the girls needs. I am not an advocator for girls that demand( ask or beg) for unneccasry things from men ,i feel its your parents responsibility to take care of you.

15months in a relationship and he has not mentioned marriage. My dear if after one year a guy has not said anything about marriage then he is not serious. My dear start thinking of considering the proposals from other men, maybe when he sees that he is about loosing you, then he will think of marriage.

No pastor, priest, prophetess, babalawo can know who will be your husband except you. I assume you are over 18 , so you are old enough to make your own decisions. Maybe you should check for the qualities you will desire in a husband and compare those qualities to thase of the guys. You can pray to God to give you direction on choosing the right person. What are you even doing with a man that goes to prophetess for vision? Is your ex boyfriend coming to marry you because he loves you and sees you as someone he will like to spend the rest of his life with or he sees you as some kind of good luck charm or he wants to marry you out of obligation to a prophesy.

Its very natural for you to be worried about your friend. She is not a kid, if she feels comfortable with the age, its her life. You just have to support her and be happy for her and pray for her. our worries, she might yAlready people have started mistaking your concern for jealousy. Just let it be, because if you tell your friend about also mistake it for jealousy.

@ raiisaj u should have used your Nigeria address to apply . Shell has 2 centres for their test. Lagos, Warri and Port harcourt.Just keeping hoping they will still contact you. Itis done in batches. There is no interview before the SRD.If you are succesful in the test , u will be called for the SRD.I think you should try and contact shell HR to find out from them.

After the test if you are succesful, then you do the SRD. Shell interview is known as the shell recruitment day exercise. For those that have not been called, they should look for a way to contact shell HR to find out.

You should let him know that you don't want to get married, don't lead him on. Everybody is not supposed to be married. But please since you have decided to stay single, do not go and disturb peoples husbands. Most times i have seen that most ladies that do no want to get married end up dating married men.

Your cousin should try her best to walk away from the relationship. She should know that there is nothing wrong with her but there obviously something wrong with the man she is with. Such men will never change, he will definitely become physically abusive. Such men need very strong women that can stand up 2 them, not your soft cousin, he will just kill her. I know like two women that their husbands have beaten to death. She should not be desperate to get married. She will definitely meet someone that will appreciate her. Y will a lady stay with someone that insults her. The problem with girls is that they will cover up for the men and endure all their insults, just because they want him to look good in front of their family. She should let her parents know let them talk sense into her.

In royal weddings u are not supposed to expose your body. Besides that Kate middleton is an elegant lady.Always dressed properly, well behaved,modest and to think her dad is even a millonaire . And people wonder y the prince fell for her. Nigerian ladies cannot differentiate what is classy and simply tacky. They think being classy is exposing your whole body. There is nothing wrong is wearing a bustier dress but it is simply not for everybody. In Nigeria most girls cannot differentiate between a party outfit, wedding outfit and casual day outfit. What Beyonce will wear on stage to dance is what someone will wear and walk on the road in Nigeria.

This man is forgeting that Nigeria is a cash economy. Most transactions are carried out in cash. Hence the need to withdraw or deposit huge sums of money.

Did your friend see her sleeping in the church? The girl might be using the church as an excuse to go somewher else. It will be very difficult for a priest to keep a girl in the parish house this is because their house is usually in the church and you usually have several priest there. Just my thought.

kemisuga u are 100% correct. These type of girls are the ones that still get married to the gud men. Meanwhile the gud ones are still in their houses praying mad fasting for husbands.

Thats what they always say you will be free to practice your religion. If you want to marry  him then you have to  keep an open mind because after the honeymoon phase there is a possibilty that he will pressure you to change. And also you have to discuss with him the religion your children will practice. I f you are okay with your whatever both of you agree on, then u can marry him.

There is nothing wrong if your wife has male friends. But she has to be able to know were to draw the line. She should have at least some respect for you and your marriage. No sensible guy should call a married woman at that time of the night when he knows the woman will be with her husband , if he has anything 2 talk about he has morning, afternoon and evening not late in the night. And your wife should respect you enough not to have such a long conversation with the guy when you guys are together, even if she is talking with her female friends. You should let her know how you feel about the phone calls.

u said girls that have boyfriends and not married women. we are talking of married men .So there is a big difference.