₦airaland Forum

escom: Asking her to come home u said? You mean the man is walking the street a free man? A lunatic on the loose? Omg..

You are so right, a person like that should be held down by the law. He can kill and maim again
You see why I don't agree that woman getting beat up and abused should hang around there. She should disappear fast from such a man as soon as the bullying starts before it gets to murderous stage.

Oh my God! I am still shivering after looking at that picture?
Is she still alive?
How could he do that?
I keep shivering. Jesus Christ!

How can I forget to greet the honourable Kabiyesi on entering his thread?

Kabiyesi o-o-o, Epele o-o, Oshe o-o Baba ----- how do you say it again Oga Biola.
Abeg help me greet---yes Baba Oyo. O daaro(Goodnight) everybody.

Viewing this topic: jidegirl12, ileobatojo, biolabee(m) and 1 guest(s)


Oh my gosh, they are all here. Ivynwa runs away

ileobatojo: Honestly I'm not offended and I don't feel bad. I just knew this was a misunderstanding because I certainly did not mean my comment the way you took it and I really wanted to clarify what I was trying to say. I hope you now see what I really meant to say. If not, you can still ask for more clarification. Never mind the drama in that other thread. It's not a big deal to me really. I'm just trying to see if peace can be achieved there, but I'm fine with war too if that's where it's headed.

Okay dearie. If you want me to delete my posts on that I will okay.

Jide sweet sweet,
Please don't be hard on my friend Ileobatojo.
Chill abeg.

Oh gosh Biolabee please let's let up on this, I'm seeing another thread of some going ons at the same time as this and I don't want the lady Ileobatojo feeling terrible with one,two,three persons arguing with her over NL posts.

Please Nne make we no argue too much, I 've already decided not to comment anymore but my heart went out to you and I'm typing this.
I didn't mean to offend you even though I felt you went overboard. I'm sorry if I made you feel bad. I still consider you mature and still respects you okay Baby.

ileobatojo: Actually, Ivy, I think she understands exactly what we are talking about and she and I seem to be in agreement.

Don't go hiding the point we are talking about with another view this other lady has.

Your post saying that people that think they need space/separate bedrooms have mental issues is what I was referring to as your not finding it funny that these persons disagreed with you and saying that they have mental issues. You are referring to other posters herein and I was only saying that there was no need for you to go that extent.I'm sorry but I'm done talking about this. Thanks.

[quote author=baby_123]You honestly think the OP's husband doesn't have some obvious mental issues or something he is hiding? You think with the extreme requests someone wrote down here, something is not off? Can you live with rules, regulations and commandments? Especially such outrageous commandments? I don't think anyone objected a couple sleeping separetely. The issue is, an extremist on any issue may likely have mental problems or issues which need to be treated or addressed. That's a fact. I don't see anything wrong with what she wrote. Except you can live under such conditions, then more power to you. You must be a rare breed. [/quote]If you read my two posts so far, you won't be asking all that already knowing that I also did not in any way support the way the man treats the lady disgustingly after enjoying himself lol . I didn't in any way support for anybody to be treated with such selfishness and insensibilities, my posts made that very clear.

You also don't understand clearly what I and lady Ileobatojo are talking about, you know. You are going on another different tangent.

Why do some music stars married to other music stars wake up sometimes to remind all that they made themselves what they are? Do they feel unhappy under the wings of such men and fear that their men are covering their stardom from the eyes of others. Faye Ann Alvarez lyons was always quick to remind whoever cares that she made herself and wasn't made by her husband Bunji Garlin. Mrs Beyonce even wants to be bowed down to, how did she ever conceive telling people to bow down for her? What's happening Lady B my lady? Did Jay-z get on her nerves and she got unhappy cursing out like that? Lol

Kaleni: [b][/b]

Bro what happen is dat my brother won't allow me to seek for an accomodation in d outside cos we are just two male child in d hand of our parent. He's insisting that until I finished my master and be earning enough money to cater for my needs, he won't let me go out of his house and our mother is strongly behind his back.. I'm confused!!!

I think that you should stand up for yourself and distance yourself from that situation before something happens and you blame on the "alcohol". lol

Strongly speak for yourself and find your own place and move or stay there and keep getting touched up, never forget Joseph and Potiphar's wife. I mean you can fall into that temptation and she may tell all that you r*ped her. This is the second time we are reading this kind of tales of, what manner of women wants to sleep with two brothers? How do you look your husband in the face after that? Mi ogbo.

ileobatojo: Ivy, I'm not sure if you were referring to me but I will respond because I had also mentioned mental issues.

Contrary to what you seem to have gotten from that post, I did not say that because of emotions. I am dead serious when I say I suspect Rooneyboy and possibly Van bonatel (the two posters I had in mind when I made that comment) of having some mild mental issues. Note, I never said all posters that want to have separate rooms have mental issues, I said I wonder if some do. That is because I have seen some red flags that piqued my psychiatric interests in their posts. For your information, extreme need for personal space can be a sign of aspergers disease, autism spectrum disease or some anxiety disorders. These are all mental problems but none cause stark raving madness if that's what you're thinking.

There is a vast difference between what you said here
and some comments Rooneyboy has made on this subject. Your statement is well within the boundaries of normal social behavior. Some of his comments are seriously stretching that boundary.

So my statement is not emotional but educated. And I stand by it.

Now I am not saying 100% that he has anything, but I'm saying it's possible. Does that mean he needs to be committed to a psych ward? No. He may not need to do anything at all about it. Doesn't mean he may not have 'something'.

There's no need to go justifying your posts name dropping medical terms upon medical terms. You can add more stuffs to your list, that does not change the fact that you went overboard to consider people that disagreed with your point of view as having problems, you are normal and perfect for having your view and I am happy for you. None of us is a saint and perfect, there's no need for that.

biolabee: Please note some guys have said no to the joint account suggestion at least for the time being

Also if it's important for the man to sleep alone, he should have engaged his wife adequately.
These have been said in as many words by both male and female commentators

The guys that said no to joint accounts are entitled to their opinion. This is not my first post in the thread, I already said my views concerning these two points in my first post. I am of the opinion that a couple can have as many accounts as they want but should have a special one for both to contribute to the upkeep of their family. I disagree with a man mandating his wife to put ALL her money in one account she's sharing with him because she may have other things she may plan to achieve and do. I commented that separate rooms is not such a bad idea but that it shouldn't be enforced down the throat the way this man in question spoilt it with some selfishness and insensibilities.

Tell your momma to chill a bit for you that you understand how she feels, you have to be ready to take care of your family and do it when you really want to.

van bonattel: There is no place in the story where the man commanded her to her room, well you are right the woman should walk away if she is not comfy wif the sleeping arrangement. Another divorce, we are counting how many homes you people have broken with your advice.

Rooneyboy: May God bless u a thousand times for this.

Rooney boy, you opened a thread to get advice from people and you turned around to agree with the person that declared that Nairalanders are breaking marriages, na waa for you -o-o. What advice do you want from people that are breaking marriages again? There are some that get good pieces of advice from the forum so you guys shouldn't be using that line, nobody sets out to break homes even if they think that a woman shouldn't be getting certain treatments as being complained most times in NL.

Some of us get too caught up with threads and begin to quarrel with others that don't agree with our point of view. I just got disappointed to hear a person (I thought is mature) get so emotional as to accuse others that see nothing wrong with living in separate rooms of having mental issues. The same persons that call others immature and deem themselves mature. Jeez! Is there a need to abuse others or even fight because he/she is not viewing something from your own point of view. Somebody like me will love very much to have my feminine things, clothings and stuffs in my own room even while sharing a special room with the husband man but if he chooses otherwise we can find a way round it. Another cousin of mine has her own room with her stuffs in it but still shares her husband's room with him.

I was searching online last night to see what other countries of the world think about this issue, I read of couples doing it for "snoring" sake, "getting good rest" sake, privacy sake etc. A couple even added that having to tip toe to each other's room in the night added some degree of "naughtiness" to their marriage that kept things young and spicy. We can't all view this from the same angle as we are different beings. If you think that husband and wife should not live in separate rooms, that should not have you abusing others that see no problem with it and go quarrelling with some too. Na wa o.

I am very happy for them, it's good make we get things to celebrate but wetin make me dey wonder be say Tuface don tell all man say why he went and did a quiet court wedding was because he doesn't wantto make his other babymammas unhappy. Is it that he changed his mind the next day and decided to have a wedding after all? Anyway sha, we can't wait to see the wedding dress

Happy for you!
I just read your other unhappy thread where you were being unhappy about it and out of pity sent you a friend's invite and even sent a mail just to say a few words of consolation. Seeing this thread made me very happy for you. You can leave out replying the NL request/mail, just know that I 'm happy for you.

Ivynwa: The joke thing shouldn't be done in such a way as to bring unhappiness to his family. The man is only being an average Nigerian speaking his broken English and you can't blame a person if he is not computer literate enough to know how website addresses goes.

If the man harms himself or any of his children who are being embarrassed or even his wife harm themselves in anyway out of the unhappiness and embarrassment, we will all start going "Oh gosh, sorry, rippy and stuff". Anyway I just hope that out of it will come blessings and lifting for the man because sometimes all things work together for good even if it embarrassed you and made you cry at first.

Truckpusher: You actually stayed awake to write this?...are you trying to whip up sentiment and pity that he doesn't deserve because he wasn't the target here,but the corrupt system that we value and cherish.My dear catch some sleep because if he commits suicide then he's on his own unless you want to tell me that our President's wife has a shock absorber after committing blunders after blunders during public address.

If i was in his shoes i'll simply tell my children to tutor me for one month and i'll demand for another interview and laff over it, simple .After all mistakes like this one doesn't even equal to death.

@truckpusher

Whatever, dude!

Glad that i saw a thread today where his boss is speaking out for him telling everybody that the man helped to alleviate corruption in his organisation. All of you talking down on the man and laughing at him are all here blowing terrible English. When did it become an abomination for a Nigerian to speak "broken English" or not be computer literate. The fact that you are exposed to the internet technology doesn't make others that are not exposed to that dumb. One can still be talented at other things even if they can't type away at a computer's keyboard.

One more thing, dude please quit circulating that picture of a suicide noose that I see you sending to people in the thread. You don't make fun with such things. If I see you post it out again , i will tell the moderators to stop you from doing that. Have a good sunday.

Abrantie: Yes, there's just something about not being "connected" with one's own biological offspring that is so unsettling for most males.

What I have noticed in my few relationships is, women think we guys are non-feeling, robotic, know-it-all, mind-reading, nothing-bothers-us machines.

We may not be able to incubate a baby for nine months in our belly but damn, the parental bond is surely as strong.

Yeah, I think there is something spiritual about that bond you know. It's a strong bond, when I see some men after a long separation hug their children and cry or cry on losing their children to death. I realize how strong that father and child bond is.

Pastor Bimbo Odukoya comes to my mind but she is no more. She was one good counsellor I know.
You can check the "House on the rock" church lagos, I'm sure you will find an amazing person to counsel you in one of the departments of the church.
Pull yourself together and take care of yourself while you look for a counsellor, okay?

Jejeola, hope you are doing good and that everything is working out fine for you?

Apart from instances the man shooshooed her out of the room after lovemaking and his being selfish and insensitive to his wife's s*exual needs, having separate rooms isn't such a bad idea. It gives a man and a woman some tiny degree of privacy and personal space but it shouldn't be the way this man in question is being selfish and insensitive about it. A woman that just made love to her husband should not be treated disgustingly by telling her to "go to your room, now I want my space", she will need to stay wrapped in the euphoria of the moment and dream away till the morning comes. The good part of having separate rooms is that you get to have your personal feminine stuffs and get to handle some feminine "timing thinz" with some privacy. I will prefer that separate rooms scenario and that doesn't mean that I and hussy can't lime all night long till the morning comes on my bed or on his or can't be with each other any time of the day on any of the two rooms we find ourselves. When I was young and visits a cousin of mine, I noticed that she has separate bedroom from her husband and they are still very happy.

The joint account issue, she shouldn't refuse blatantly like that or it will start causing a big rift. She can still have her private bank account, there's nothing wrong with a couple having one joint account where they contribute for the upkeep of their family first before all other accounts they may have individually. I have always been of the opinion that a woman should be allowed to have her own thing/her own bank account after the joint family one to enable her do other things she may be dreaming and wanting to achieve as a person.
In this case we are discussing now, the man has spoilt his separate room arrangement with some lil bit of insensitivity and selfishness which has the woman hurting. She should communicate her hurts to her husband, no man shooshoos out a woman after making love to her as if he finds her disgusting the minute he is done taking his pleasure. Having separate bedrooms doesn't mean that his wife is bound out of his room even when she needs him. If they solve these little problems around both issues at hand and structure things in such a way that nobody feels maltreated, they will both be happy. I mean this man doesn't want to be too closeted together in a room with his wife and we can't tell the wife to pack into his room and insist on sharing a room just because that is what she wants. They have to find a better way around it that does not hurt her feelings as the man is getting on with it now.

If I were a man, I will not want to have a child that I don't know of its existence. Even if I ever donate sperm it will be on the condition that I get to know who used it and get to know my offspring even if it is going to grow with a foster father/husband of whoever uses the sperm to get a child. I don't think that it is good for a human to distribute his sperm and have kids in different area codes of the world without knowing about the their existence. It can lead to unconscious i*ncest (whereby such children grow up and may end up with their step brothers and sisters without knowing it), again that natural bond between a human and its offspring is too powerful to go breaking like that. Just my thought.

Alleluiah!

Jeez boy!
It must be hard work going thru all that and sanitizing the thread. Isn't anybody allowed to even cough on the thread.

The joke thing shouldn't be done in such a way as to bring unhappiness to his family. The man is only being an average Nigerian speaking his broken English and you can't blame a person if he is not computer literate enough to know how website addresses goes.

If the man harms himself or any of his children who are being embarrassed or even his wife harm themselves in anyway out of the unhappiness and embarrassment, we will all start going "Oh gosh, sorry, rippy and stuff". Anyway I just hope that out of it will come blessings and lifting for the man because sometimes all things work together for good even if it embarrassed you and made you cry at first.

Jeez, i don't want to see that crawly stuff.
The NYSC change in environment thing is something one needs to be prayerful about.

nwando: Do you live here in the USA
I bought some beans recently with the skin already off
I loved it
Let me take a picture of it
It has made my moi moi making so easy

In my school days I use to remove the chaffs dry it off and blend into powder for quick cooking but it doesn't taste rich and fully natural like the wetty wetty ones.

Ivynwa: ----

I have a good way of quickly getting off chaffs from black eyed peas/beans. I grind it in a blender for a few seconds say 40 seconds to one minute while watching it to make sure that it doesn't blend and get saucy, in other words the blender will break the beans apart thereby tearing out the chaffs. I will pour it out and start removing the chaffs with plenty water poured inside it which makes the chaff to float and can easily run off while draining water from the beans.

You can use a grater to sieve the water if you have the time to pick up some that may want to run off with the chaffs etc. If you have to use this method you have to add additional beans to make up for a little beans that may be blended too fine and run off while sieving. The beans gets blended soft and saucy for the last time after all the chaffs have been removed.

nwando: I soak for an hour and put in batches in the blender at the chop cycle for 4 seconds each
Then put in water And the skin comes off easily
You lose some beans but the washing is a breeze

Thankfully here in the USA the African stores now sell skinless dried beans or chopped beans with skin and all you need to do is soak and the skin floats on top.
-----

Yeah Nwando you and I already figured out that very easy method ourselves. Ivynwa gives Nwando a high five. I thought I invented that method. Lol.
Sometimes I don't even bother soaking. Just have the blender split it up for you with water added in of course and the chaffs are all apart and all over the place for you to drain off floating.

InesQor: @nwando

That your Moin Moin picture is scary o

*runs away*

This InesQor man no well-o-o
Abeg leave the girl make she enjoy her moi moi joor, it will solidify better as it gets colder.
It looks all saucy and softie like that when unwrapped while still very hot.