Family / Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by IyaBasira: 3:20pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
seyibrown:
Abi o! They quote submission and condole adultery!
How sad. Sometimes it seems like there is just no way out. Women are damned whatever they do. Oba234:
since you nairalanders love to quote bible scriptures so much, let me help you out with one. Fornication and adultery is a sin o. I am surprise that the same person that says women must submit according to the bible is now saying the men is not at fault after commiting adultery and probably fornication.
Heb 13:4 "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
(Matthew 5:27-28) 27 “You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery;’ 28 but I tell you that everyone who gazes at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart.
(Matthew 19:9) 9 I tell you that whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and he who marries her when she is divorced commits adultery.”"
Galatians 5:21) 21 envyings, murders, drunkenness, sin assemblies, and things like these; of which I forewarn you, even as I also forewarned you, that those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God.
Ephesians 5:3-5) 3 But sexual immorality, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not even be mentioned among you, as becomes saints; 4 nor filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not appropriate; but rather giving of thanks. 5[b] Know this for sure, that no sexually immoral person, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the Kingdom of Christ and God. [/b]
[b][b][b]stop picking and choosing what part of the bible you want to hear. What that man did to his wife according to the bible is wrong and he will be judged by God because of that. [/b][/b][/b]
We human beings always think we can outdo God. But his standards are like between two mountains and there is NO MIDDLE GROUND! There isn't, and should never be, any excuse for a married man to take another wife while his first is still alive. If his wife was in his shoes, everyone would say " Well, he is a man, he is working hard to provide for you and your family so you cannot divorce him and say you are feeling unloved. You also must NOT take another husband. " I mean, come on. |
Family / Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by IyaBasira: 2:25pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
chaircover:
Iya Basira, logically and not in too many words, why do you think that the man choose to abandon the "big money" wifey who lives in Abuja and marry another woman.
Because he was selfish and ungrateful. There is no excuse for taking another wife or cheating. None. |
Romance / Re: Do You Consider Kissing Someone Else As Cheating? by IyaBasira: 2:12pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
Vquest:
This topic seems to have degenerated into something, better.
As for the OP: First of all how old are you? You sound very young. "living it up"? how? phone sx sometimes? yeah, that's living it up,
Is your girl's name Virginia? In my boyhood we used to have this saying about girls named Virginia: Virgin for short, but not for long.
What does that mean? I dont get it. And yes, it is cheating. Just on a smaller scale. |
Family / Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by IyaBasira: 12:55pm On Aug 09, 2010 |
chaircover:
Actually she was wrong & this is the mistake many women make. Its the You and me syndrome rather than the "us" syndrome.
She didn't have to pack her load & go to Abuja before she made an impact even if the man was lagging behind. She could have sat down with her husband and both worked out ways of making things better for the family.
You dont just barge off on your own tangent and expect everyone to fall in line. An example of leading from behind would have been to make the connections (I wonder how she made them but that is a story for another day) and put her husband in the right place to get those contracts himself; and unless he is a stup.id fellow (who she married by the way) then he would have done the job, fended for his family & everyone remains in thier assigned roles.
She was sending big money to the husband, forgetting that life is not all about money, her money could not buy warmth, cook, be there for her family, provide companionship, pamper the man or sooth the children when they were sick and so on, so the man went and found someone who could.
Remember she was away for 2 years. After contract number 1 or 2, she could have easily introduced her husband to the powers that be to put him in line for contracts or even a job, she could have relocated the family to abuja & have all lived together and so on. She probably made the man feel like a begger each time she came back to Lagos & dropping huge sums for his feeding allowance.
If the women were my junior sister, I would have given her a big slap if she comes crying to me that her husband left her for the housegirl.
You are making assumptions. It's not like she just went off at dead of night. Did she not have his consent before she went to work? If she was there for a whole 2 years then doesn't that mean that he ALLOWED her to go? Your second assumption is that the man did not have a job or that she didn't introduce her husband to the 'powers' that be. Isn't it possible that he might have done so and it just never worked out? Thirdly, how do YOU know she made him feel like a beggar? Even Invisible, who told us this story , never said so. Why jump to conclusions about someone you don't even know? Lastly, when you said that "She was sending big money to the husband, forgetting that life is not all about money, her money could not buy warmth, cook, be there for her family, provide companionship, pamper the man or sooth the children when they were sick and so on, so the man went and found someone who could."That statement is wrong on soooooooooo many levels. She was DOING HER BEST! Was she AWOL or something ? No. She sent the money and when you do that you are saying " Please take this . I know I cannot be here but I am trying my best." Despite that, he found someone who he could stay with and spend the money he was sending right? chaircover:
@uju
Yes – Because 2 wrongs don’t make a right.
Yes – Because all this; “The man must love his wife” or the “woman doesn’t have to submit to him” or vice versa does not work & you will just be spending time fighting unnecessary battles rather than spending time building up your family
You do the best you can do, not looking at whether your partner is carrying out his/her part of the bargain. Eventually you will find that gradually the other person will eventually see the folly of their ways and begin to change for the better.
As Yoruba people say, suuru le se okuta jina. With lots and lots of patience you can cook a stone to it becomes soft (I havent tried this though )
If you don’t believe me, carry out a survey of your own, and you will find that most of the women living in peace & managing to get anything off their husbands are not Hitler type fighting machines but simple peace loving women who know which buttons to press, how to and when. If you have to yell, nag, throw tantrums, lock his shirt etc to get your husband to do something etc then something is not right somewhere, even if he ends up doing it.
Submission doesn’t mean you are silly. Infact to be able to successfully submit (and trust me, I am only human and struggle with this sometimes) is not an easy to possess virtue, however if you do have it, you will almost always have other things added to you such as wisdom, tolerance, patience, politeness, discerning spirit, etc which can only be good attributes which can help you in other areas of your life.
I'm pleased you said it yourself that everyone should do the best they can without looking at the other partner. SHE was doing her best from what we know. He was also doing his part until he decided that another wife was the best option. Taking another wife, because yours is away slaving herself for you is not okay at all. Sometimes we need to look at the motives of people before saying that they are at fault for doing the best they could possibly do. Did she take the job for a selfish reason or because of her family? The truth is that we don't even know. So I really don't see what you mean by saying, she brought it on herself. Judging by the actions of this man, if he had an extremely high paying job and she was the one at home, he would probably have said ; " Well, I'm tired of seeing you in your wrapper every day and variety is the spice of life, so I'm going to take another wife . Also, I'm a big man now and I can afford to have 2 wives. " By the way, I don't see why everyone wants TheBlessed's head on a platter. Her post made a lot of sense to me. |
Family / Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by IyaBasira: 7:08pm On Aug 07, 2010 |
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Family / Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by IyaBasira: 6:59pm On Aug 07, 2010 |
chika98:
Knowing who you are about to get in it with? I'd let that slide is basically all I was saying.
Oh ok then. Thanks for the advice! Sagamite:
Allow her.
She is trying to get me to notice her.
The clue is: Pruriency!
Good.
At least you are gutsy to make a stance unlike that dim goat.
The Royal Highness will take some time to respond to you now. Let me take my royal robe off.
I disagree with you. It is not generalisation, it is a generic statement that applies to most and widely accepted.
It will never make sense for anyone to say Paris (a huge City) is beautiful to imply that ALL parts of Paris is beautiful. It, by generic terms, means "generally" Paris is beautiful.
Except, you append your statement with "All".
Generic statements are used to avoid tedious definitions in a casual conversation, unlike the definitions that one will apply to a legal document. It is a forum, not a legal document where one has to be so detailed.
If one says the UK is an advanced country, believe me, not all parts of UK is advanced.
If I say babies are beautiful, it does not mean ALL babies are beautiful, it is just a generic statement that applies to most and widely accepted.
If one says Germans are good at making cars, that does not mean all Germans know how to make a car, talkless of making a good one. It is just a generic statement that does not need much qualification to get the message across, except some people want to twist it.
Seun has come again. What type of word is Pruriency? First I saw infatuation and now I'm seeing something else. This word changing business is getting too much. Royal robe ke? Don't give yourself airs, my good man. Well in any case, you have made yourself sound a lot clearer than with your previous posts. It seems that what I call a generalization is what you call a generic statement. But we are actually saying the same thing the way I see it. So let's call it a draw. Or you want to put on those boxing gloves and continue? |
Family / Re: Please, Your Advise by IyaBasira: 6:40pm On Aug 07, 2010 |
mutter:
This is the sad reality about Nigeria. Many women in Nigeria are not even privileged to submit to their husbands. They are forced into obedience, because they have no choice
This is ON POINT. Siena:
A cheating man will always cheat - he just becomes more versed in concealing it. I would ditch him, and get some self-respect! It's best to be divorced than be thought a fool by all and sundry, when you choose to remain with a serial cheat, all in the name of remaining "married".
Your husband wasn't sorry the first time, he was only sorry he was caught.
mutter:
Easier said than done. Many people think they will never condone it till it happens to them I think it is unfair of people to suggest that the woman called for it. It is one thing having an affair outside and another bringing the woman into the house. That is disrespectful .It is also not easy to leave a marriage,especially after some years have been invested. She forgave him in a bid to save her marriage and bringing family into it was the right thing to do. Most people will just tell you to forgive and even tell you to work on yourself. You loose your self esteem and keep trying harder and harder to make the man satisfied but it does not work out that way sometimes. My first marriage was an eye opener or me. My ex was really into women and he brought them home too. I remember there was this day too ladies rang the bell and walked into the house. The greeted me went to the kitchen took food I had cooked ate and went to lie down on my husbands bed watching videos. When he came back I told him he had guests, he was shocked, those poor girls when he went to his room and came out with them. They apologized, they did not know I was his wife. My ex was smart about it. He told the girls that an officers family was staying with him. My husband was scared could not believe that I never reacted or told the girls that I was his wife. I had made up my mind that the humiliation was enough from his side, I was not going to humiliate myself with any girl by going into any argument etc. I even ended up becoming good friends with some of the women that he was dating and that put an end to the relationship. He actually told me that he was not going to let any woman come there again because they would always sympathizing with me and have no interest in a relationship with him. I wish I could tell you this story had a happy ending- it did not. He finally married a second wife, a childhood friend who was more than ten years older than I was. It was only at this stage that my family finally gave me their blessing to leave the marriage. In the past I had run to them so often because of the abuse,they never saw anything disturbing about it. They did not even want to entertain the girlfriend issue. For them it was normal for a man to have girlfriends. As for the abuse, all they had to say was that educated girls had a problem with respect. I should keep my mouth shut and everything would be okay. In fairness to my family I was even too ashamed to tell them how bad it was. That is why when people think the fault lies with the woman they are also contributing to the abuse that women suffer in Nigeria today. Women keep on tolerating so much because when the leave the marriage the society looks down on them. The family of the woman too is only interested in the good name of the family or the benefits of the inlaw.
Damn! That's messed up. And who told you that it was your fault? I feel like beating the crap out of people sometimes. How can they say that? Thats why I quoted Siena's post. I don't understand sometimes. If he was concealing something doesnt that mean you don't want your partner to know? So why conceal it when you already know? Sometimes we conceal things out of love but for him to marry a second wife and try ' concealing ' all his girlfriends ? I'm sorry to say this but he must have been pure evil. I really hope you are happy now. And as for him . . . |
Family / Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by IyaBasira: 6:27pm On Aug 07, 2010 |
chika98:
If I were you I rather focus my time on other things. Having an argument or some type of back and forth won't get anywhere really.
I would't call this arguing. To me I'm just stating an opinion. It becomes an argument when people get angry or upset and I'm certainly not. |
Family / Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by IyaBasira: 6:20pm On Aug 07, 2010 |
Sagamite:
Don't be daft, I always told you that your intellect is below mine.
Where did you see me generalise?
If I say "Paris is a beautiful city", does that necessarily mean I mean ALL parts of Paris is beautiful?
Does your intellect rise up to that level?
Where did you see me state "What is with ALL women and their shoes?"
Reality is that there are a lot of women obsessed with shoes and have multiple pairs, they even have pairs they never worn. Whilst majority of men are not like that. I rarely know guys that own more than 12 pairs of footwear, whilst women on average have over 30, so it is fair to ask "What is with women and their shoes?"
Comprehend?
At the risk of offending His Royal Highness , I beg to differ. When you say " Why do women do this" or "Why do men do this " , you are, in actual fact, making a generalization. There is no need to say " ALL" before people understand your point. If you say " Paris is a beautiful city " you are actually referring to Paris as a whole and disregarding its streets and slums which may not be as polished as the other areas. That is what is termed a generalization. To avoid it, you may have to begin using the words 'some' which takes care of the error you made. e.g Some parts of Paris are beautiful. or Why do some women do this? harakiri:
A lot of people here don't know that the real reason 'gender equality'/feminism/equal rights movement sprang up decades was NOT in the interest of improving womens' lives but i'll leave that statement hanging coz most people here would never understand even when you go through pains explaining. Back to the topic. . .gender equality is not about women's rights. Its about women keeping their natural rights as women and still having rights as 'men'. How this 'logic' remotely makes sense to people never ceases to baffle me. That is why there is always conflict with this issue coz its a disruption of the natural order of things all in the name of being 'civilized'. Aren't women voting and working in all male professions? What more do women want? Everything the women rights groups aimed to get has been achieved BUT are they satisfied? No! And they will not stop until men become extinct. The issue is simple. . . If you want a peaceful marriage, then check your feministic ideas at the door BUT if you prepared to live the rest of your natural life being single or a lesbian, then by all means embrace feminism (you would make the likes of Oprah Winfrey and Ellen DeGeneres proud! ).
First Bolded part ; If you don't mind explaining . . . the reasons for feminist movements? I may not agree with you, but I'm sure I will understand if you explain clearly. I'm not being sarcastic or anything. I'm just interested. And I'm sure not all women want their men extinct. I would be sad! I dont think the problem is feminism. I think the problem is that those who have been through damaging situations tend to take it too far and they forget that some women are actually happy in their marriages. |
Family / Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by IyaBasira: 2:33pm On Aug 07, 2010 |
mutter:
@iyabasira. call it backward. Already in the schools, money and sex is being exchanged for good notes. The hostels are the biggest prostitution centers.
You intend to work hard? What are you studying and tell us what is the starting salary? Now tell me about what kind of job you can get in Nigeria without connections or bottom power, just by hard work that will enable you maintain a good standard of living in Nigeria.
@ jENNYKADRY I know you find it difficult to imagine that a submissive woman can achieve anything. I pray God will help you to achieve your own goals in life, maybe that way you might stop bitching about other peoples own SO tell me how much was or does a lawyer earn in Lagos to maintain a family. I mean a married woman at the beginning of her career. My ex was a military officer and we lived in VI. If I left him without being to care adequately. , Do you know how easy it is to loose child custody as a woman in Nigeria? In fact he would have done what he wanted without even regarding the courts.
Your pessimism speaks volumes. I know that some people will give in to situations like that but I will not do the same. If it comes to setting up my own business, then I will and by the Grace of God, I will make it . I would rather stay at home jobless than engage in that type of prostitution. In life you have to tell yourself that some things are NOT NEGOTIABLE. 'Bottom power' as you call it, is one of those things. Anyway, I am studying law. Don't worry, you will be the first person I'll send a PM to when I get my first job without having to use that type of avenue. God is key and if I have lived all this while in health and happiness. If I have the brains to get the job, keep it, and make money from it and even move on to a higher paying one then why On EARTH would I use that method. 1 Like |
Family / Re: Is The Fight For Equality Ruining Marriages by IyaBasira: 12:13pm On Aug 07, 2010 |
pro01:
Sorry to say, but this is award-winning naivety in full display. Perhaps you people read too many 'how to' books and watch too many surreal movies.
1st bolded statement: that is so untrue. It is precisely for this silly reason that some girls leave their boyfriends and fall for the fake charms of their longstanding 'male friend', later, the girls learn the hard way that ordinary FRIENDSHIP is very different from RELATIONSHIP/MARRIAGE. The same rules/feelings/realities seldom apply. Any daft girl that jeopardizes her firm relationship in search of "camaraderie" will only get her fingers burnt. Years later into the marriage she'll start to lament that 'he wasn't like this before, he has changed'.
2nd Bolded Statement: a woman shouldn't feel she has to submit to her husband? But she'll submit to her boss (anyhow he wants it); she'll submit to armed robbers and suck their corcks at gunpoint; she'll submit to her spiritualist/pastor when she needs spiritual help for whatever. This is supremely obnoxious. What this suggests is that women prefer to submit to all forms of power and force, but to simply and lovingly submit to their husband's gentle demands and massage his ego, they'll squirm, sigh, cuss and utter gibberish like "if you feel like you have to submit to your husband, then you are in the wrong marriage"! No wonder some men use force, power and violence to have their way with women, they ask for it really.
The word ego is being used in two different ways I think. There is ego which is good and which comes from someone who would probably say " I am confident , strong, resourceful and I could probably do this on my own, but you are my other half and I want you to be a part of what I do. " And then There is the other type of ego, which says "I can do this all by myself and I don't need you as anything other than an accessory. Should I need help, don't offer it otherwise there will be TROUBLE! " LOL. The problem is that to most nigerian women, the latter type of ego is the one they recognize better because it is that ego that they are faced with by men who just do not recognize their wife's worth. It is what women are against and therefore its probably what comes to mind most when the word 'ego' is mentioned. I remember when thieves came to our house and stole our tv, vcr and other stuff a long time ago. My mum bought a new tv for us kids to watch after a few days, but my dad said she should return it. What his reasons were I will never know but my guess is that it had to do with pride. On the other hand, most guys actually resonate towards the first type of ego because thats the type of ego they would like to show their wives. They have the good intentions but lack the capacity to actually BE like that .Some guys think they are bring considerate and nice when they are actually being condescending and rude. Sagamite:
You must be havin a laff to say women are not obsessed with shoes but men are obsessed with ego.
You are Chris Rock II.
Mate, I am not an illiterate.
I am not the type you tailor questions that suits your agenda to and constrict him to your parameters to suit your arguments.
Take it as written in stone: My intellect is way beyond that.
Where in your No 1 did you give credit to what the demanding man is doing in return? Nigga, are you insulting my intelligence?
No 2 applies to my stance as much as you try to tailor it to appear not to:
2. The suitor who believes that he and your daughter both have a responsibility of building each other up together in the marriage.
It is his responsibility to identify her feminine ways and nature (e.g. understand her emotions and insecurities) and cater for it. And it is her responsibility to identify his masculine needs (e.g. feeling important and logical thinking) and cater for it.
If she is not willing and can't satisfy his, I see no reason why he should satisfy hers, despite what modern day feminist of L'Oreals (she is worth it) might want us to think that relationship is all about the woman.
Not all women are obsessed with shoes and you just broke your previously proclaimed rule of not generalizing. I like shoes as long as they fit my outfit but I am not obsessed with them. In the same vein , I will also assume that while a guys ego is important to him, he is not obsessed with it. I agree with everything you said from the bolded part downwards but you seem to want to prove your intelligence and on this type of forum, there is really no need. When you type intelligent comments, the level of your intelligence will show. Everything I put in bold on your comment i thought was absolutely right but she was only asking you a hypothetical question. So when you say things like ' Nigga, are you insulting my intelligence ? ' or 'Take it as written in stone ; My intellect is way beyond that ' you exhibit the type of ego most women run away from. Intellect needs no proclamation. mutter:
My point? Let the truth be told finally. Most women in Nigeria that appear from the outside to be independent and self sufficient are nothing more than love-peddlers. Selling their bodies for contracts, deals, favors and money. It is not only the woman that stands on the road that is selling her body.
I just saw this and I was like WTF I plan on being independent and self sufficient when I leave school so that means I'm a future love peddler?! So people still think like this? So women are incapable of supporting themselves without the help of a man , husband or not? Mennnn . . . the kind of ignorance I see on Nairaland no get part 2. 2 Likes |
Romance / Re: I Feel Guilty Both Ways by IyaBasira: 11:48pm On Aug 06, 2010 |
What makes you think you love her? As in, how do you know you love your girl back home? |
Romance / Re: The Wedding Test by IyaBasira: 7:45pm On Aug 04, 2010 |
Basket mouth used this story at one of his shows. I think it was Uncensored something. Anyway. This is more of a tragedy than a comedy. |
Romance / Re: ss by IyaBasira: 7:32pm On Aug 04, 2010 |
@If you are indeed chained to the bed, then how can you even type in the first place? |
Romance / Re: If Boys Went On Strike by IyaBasira: 10:43pm On Aug 01, 2010 |
mama-gee:
Life still goes on. . .
Best answer so far. Guys, get over yourselves. Lol. |
Romance / Re: Who Should Be Blamed For Betrayal Of Trust by IyaBasira: 10:40pm On Aug 01, 2010 |
Poster ; Is this why you broke up? The truth is that you guys betrayed each other. But the extent of your betrayal is greater. His is not so much because he has the right to keep his own secrets unless its something which would have affected you. I guess at the end of the day it all depends on the secret itself. |
Romance / Re: What Song Would You Request At Your Wedding Day? by IyaBasira: 11:28pm On Jul 31, 2010 |
On the Wings of Love - Jeffery Osbourne |
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Romance / Re: What Song Would You Request At Your Wedding Day? by IyaBasira: 2:56pm On Jul 30, 2010 |
parislomo:
Trad: can't remember the title though. . . . sang by a 'couple' from Benin (Cotonou)
**omo mi baby girl, iwo ti mo feran o, to felo s'ile oko, adura ti mo gba fun o, k'olorun mi ko ma so e lo ooooo. . . though I hate to see you, I know you have your life to live, and I can see love in your eyes, though you cry I see your tears, wipe your eyes my baby girl and be his wife forever more. . . and you can see my joy and pride for you . . . **
Wedding reception: Tuface's IF LOVE IS A CRIME **there's been a lot of toasting, lots of guys have been up to her but she told them she was waiting, for the ONE. . . .
That song is called Baby Girl and i think the singer's name is Ben Oliver . . . Its a classic wedding song. Good Choice! U can look it up on youtube. Forever by Chris Brown is for when its time to dance and we all want to get groovy! But Paul Play's song ( also called Forever) is a definite wedding choice. And I will NOT be doing the Wedding March song for when I'm walking down that aisle. Eurgh. |
Romance / Re: Am In Trouble My Cousin Wants To Sleep With Me by IyaBasira: 6:24pm On Jul 29, 2010 |
Wow. This is awful. Move out as soon as you can! |
Romance / Re: What Led To The Break Up Between You And Your Ex? by IyaBasira: 9:37pm On Jul 28, 2010 |
Pennywise:
I am at peace with all my exs. You see, I never actually break up even when I break up. All except one self-hating girl now married and living with her husband in London. I hope she is happy, because I am.
Could you explain that? I'm not trying to be rude or anything. I just didnt get it. |
Family / Re: My Dad Needs Money Again! Please Help! by IyaBasira: 11:43pm On Jul 25, 2010 |
I am not a fan of anyone voluntarily helping anyone outside of their means. I lived in Nigeria for most of my life and I don't see how being a janded kid would make you see things from a warped point of view. Whether you are from England, Mexico, or Nigeria, if you have common sense, you have it and you will use it accordingly.
When it comes to your parents obviously its more difficult but I'm sure any good parent wouldn't want you to incur debt at such an early point in your career. |
Family / Re: True Life Story by IyaBasira: 6:42pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
bk/babe90:
Wifey was spiteful! I mean, wut was so hard in letting hubby know that she was pregnant and that was the reason why she threw up?!
What was so hard in him being faithful to her even though the relationship was strained? Hubby was spiteful as well. |
Family / Re: My Dad Needs Money Again! Please Help! by IyaBasira: 4:24pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
Okija_juju:
I'm sure when your father was training you through school, feeding your ungrateful behind, clothing you and buying you all those nice barbies and things, he did not ever come on Nairaland to complain to us that your school fees were unaffordable or that he had to almost suck someones nuts to give you pocket money.
How ungrateful can you spoilt kids get. So let me guess, 1 million naira is enough payment for all his troubles so he might as well go to hell abi?!!
Heres an advice, send him a txt msg (I'm guessin you bought him a Blackberry also) and tell him to go to hell. Or go on his facebook profile (assuming he can use the internet), and tell him to go and farm.
RUBBISH!!
I think you misunderstood what the poster was saying. I'm sure its not that he doesn't want to help his dad, but that he has run out of the means to do so! Which child would refuse their parents money if they asked? And besides, he said he was just starting out in life and he hasnt been able to do any of the necessary things yet because of the money he lent to his dad in the past. I'm really sure he's not being ungrateful like you said, and you don't have to talk to him in that manner. If he had the money to give, he wouldn't be here on Nl asking for advice! |
Romance / Re: Relationship With Your Scammer by IyaBasira: 2:18pm On Jul 19, 2010 |
notsure:
no I am not married. I decided to not meet this dude after all. I spoke with one of his college mates and it was not good! She said she used to do his school paperwork while him and a bunch of his friends would be in the internet cafe all night. I guess is he is still a scammer!!
Praise God! It took 5 pages of insults, but it finally happened. She got smart. Poster; There is one way you can know if the scammer ever had genuine love for you if you feel like deceiving yourself again. The assets he got from you. Did he return them? A person genuinely seeking forgiveness will try to undo what he/she has done wrong. And thus, if he had truly changed, he would have tried to make up for it in some way or the other. |
TV/Movies / Re: Your Best Movie Quotes by IyaBasira: 2:14pm On Jul 16, 2010 |
Elizabeth: There will come a time when you have a chance to do the right thing. Jack: I love those moments. I like to wave at them as they pass by.
- Pirates Of The Caribbean (Dead Man's Chest)
Morpheus ; This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back. You take the blue pill - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill - you stay in Wonderland and I show you how deep the rabbit-hole goes.
- The Martix. (BEST MOVIE EVER!!!!) |
Nairaland / General / Re: Visual Tutorials For Nairaland Newbies by IyaBasira: 7:06pm On Jul 14, 2010 |
Can someone help me with how to send a Personal Message? |
Romance / Re: It Hurts So Bad! by IyaBasira: 6:56pm On Jul 14, 2010 |
sevule:
Chei!! See BEEF!! So your ex dumps you to marry someone else and you start badmouthing him? Me thinks you ought to be thankful cos what it means is obviously that he was not meant for you. @ poster I know it would hurt like crazy so here's what you going to do. Cry,cry,cry. It is very therapeutic treatment and best of all it is free. Go see a chic flick in the cinemas, buy something outrageously expensive that you have always wanted and then go for a girls night out.
Yeah . . . why not? I had an ex once who went around telling people that he broke up with me cos he was tired of me. Meanwhile I was the one who set him free. If someone does something like what you said, why not? |
Family / Re: Dirty Past About Your Wife by IyaBasira: 8:56pm On Jul 13, 2010 |
MRbrownJAY:
you got a taste from your own medicine. how can you be mad when YOU CHEATED ON HER TOO?! now you are both on the same page, she knew about your cheating and NOW you know about hers. you have no grounds to win that argument, better go, sit down and swallow it like a man. what are you going to say?! "baby you cheated on me!!!!!!!!" and she will answer: "yes and so did you, now we are even!!!! do not do to others what you wouldnt want people do to you
Wait wait wait . . . Are you saying that there is one sensible male for the tons of sex- crazed animals on Nairaland This calls for celebration! ***Come and join me sing HALLELUJAH . . .(clap clap) Jehovah Jireh has done me well . . . *** |
Family / Re: Baby Sienna's First Birthday Party! by IyaBasira: 8:43pm On Jul 13, 2010 |
OMG!!!!
Congratulations!!!! You must be feeling very proud now but don't forget the trials of baby sitting are yet to come!!! Lol! I hope your wife is okay. She looks so peaceful. |
Romance / Re: My Boyfriend Got A Job And Became A Monster! by IyaBasira: 2:20pm On Jul 13, 2010 |
na2day?:
thank u jare!
maybe u should spend more time reading old threads on how NL girls bashed guys that spent their hard working money on their GFs to send them to school only for the girl to graduate and get a very good job and then dump the guy. the same NL girls here that are bashing this guy were supporting those girls.
Your comment is totally inane. Yes there are guys who have been through such but if the poster wanted to talk about the trials of Nigerian men, she would have done so. You cannot waste your time going through every old thread so that you can justify the actions of one man. Even if the same NL girls are here, how does that equate to her present situation? Nd_Ijezie:
Hey, u girls are spoiling d young minds of young girls. most guys are nt that way, for a guy to trit u that way, one of these must be true, 1. maybe u wia nt really humble den, cos u cn stick to sm1 n yet nt respect him, 2. maybe u wia kind of unfaithful wen he was broke, i.e getting money elsewhere for your upkeep, evn tho u luv him. cos most guys will pretend they were nt seeing dt until d decision tym, wen he is on pay, so check ursef, u must v done smtyn my sista.
How about a third option ; 3) He doesn't know how to relate to her anymore / He's tired of her and too cowardly to say it out. And besides, can people stop saying that she MUST have done something? Yes she MAY have done something but dont say it like the demise of the reationship is all her fault. |
Romance / Re: Should I Still Give Despite His Nonchallancy? by IyaBasira: 12:24pm On Jul 08, 2010 |
@ Poster ; N-O!
You've been giving him gifts all this time. Chill! See how it goes first before sending more presents. |