Travelista:

You know what? I shouldn't have been so harsh. Your aunt is obviously hiding something and that should be a red flag to her husband. As for you, stay out of it. If the couple is able to work things out on their own, they will turn on you the interloper; seems like you want her cast out going by the two options you posted. Let them deal with their issues on their own.

And here I was thinking that Nairaland had run out of sensible posts. Good for u  o jare.

@ Topic ;  The title of the thread is misleading in itself . She hasnt gone for the test yet, so how do you know that she has lied? What do you think she has lied about?

It seems to me that you don't like her very much.

Time will tell what the problem is. In the meantine . . . .  Mind Your Business!

TERRY G  ; Can someone please explain to me the meaning of  the phrase " Make I sangolo your sangolo . . .  " . It defies all logic as far as I'm concerned.

SLAM ; Whoever convinced him that he could sing is not his friend. Unfortunately music  nowadays is not really about who sings best. That would probably explain why he is still allowed to sing.

AFRO CANDY ;   " Ehn!!! Show me what you're walking with  . . .  Abi I no fine reach ?"  No you are not fine at all!!! Now this woman just makes me laugh. All of my friends here in the UK know her just because her music is THAT bad. One of them gets angry whenever we say that she and Afro are from the same tribe. Not to mention her video that seemed to be her own version of Beyonce's Single Ladies. Watch ;
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m8I4H65garU

GOLDIE ; It was obvious from the beginning that she was never going to succeed. (At least not until she changes her stage name and gets rid of that yellow  goat hair.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cg9_p5CQfxU. If you think I'm just hating , then watch this cos it says all.

WANDE COAL remains the only male artiste who can actually sing. Oh, and Chuddy K. Lynnx is kinda cool as well .But the above mentioned should be booted out without further delay.

pro01:

**shrieks in absolute horror, and suffers a stroke**

****Dies of laughter****

Let's hope he recovered from the stroke sha . . . .

remioshy:

i know f a woman here in naija with two kids, whose husband is in uk and wanted to marry a white woman for papers, begged the naija ( for the benefit of the family)woman to get a death certificate of herself which will make him a widower, and for "love" she did that, and the man was able to marry the white woman, after few year, th mn divorced the white woman after getting his papers, he now came to nigeria with another naja lady to get married in ibadan without the other woman ( who is supposed to have did) knowing about this. The woman was really traumatized , but God proved himself that oftr few years this woman met a man from america and got married, she now lives in florida, u.s.a

Now that is REALLY messed up. If this is true , then may that man forever remain in one place.

LAKANYE~:

[size=36pt]SOME MEN FIND IT HARD TO GET "DUMPED" BY ANY WOMAN. HOW CAN ANY MAN THINKS HE IS STILL DATING A WOMAN WHO HAD NOT SPOKEN TO HIM IN THREE YEARS.
DID YOU SAY THREE YEARS?
I DUMP WOMEN WHO DIDN'T SPEAK WITH ME IN THREE MINUTES.[/size]

Clap For Yourself!!!!

hbabe:

I agree it's stretching it too far but people do all kinds of things to get papers. I actually met a young handsome Naija guy in his early twenties who is married to a white lady of over 50 years. The lady was fat, not so easy on the eyes and had thinning blonde hair. When he introduced her as his wife I was taken aback but realised he was in it for a purpose.
For the couple with target, having their husband hanging around another lady is fine as long as target is met. But really the wife could have done better by disappearing for the duration of husband and 'iyawo's visit. Everybody with their strategy!

Is it?
So we are actually okay with letting our husbands deceive white women , sleep with them, and them leave them hanging after getting what they want ?

I know this comment may not be supported by anyone on this forum but I really don't care. For reasons like this a man will cheat on you later with another NIGERIAN woman and then you will have to bite your tongue because you supported it in the first place when he did it with a white woman.
And is anyone considering the impact this has on the lives of these women/ girls? Is this really fair on them considering that they are using their money, their bodies and potentially damaging their hearts?

I'm sorry, but for stuff like that, I really don't care what what the reasons are. How can I watch you do that to someone else? And with her probably thinking that I am the housemaid, only to later find out that I'm his wife! These women sometimes come to Nairaland and wail about some Nigerian man who they love and who is acting funny once the papers came through.

I've noticed something about men and women. Men seem to understand the saying " United We Stand " better than women do. With guys there's this sense of solidarity cos they always support each other. But women just don't seem to get it. We do a lot of terrible things to each other in the name of LOVE and it's like someone sowed a seed of discord between us from day one.

The Oracle

Widows cot (even though it's not really a classic)

And can anyone remember the old "Binta My Daughter?"

Suicide Mission.

Osama10:

Why do women disgrace themselves by sleeping with multiple boys before marriage?

I wasnt asking you. The question was for the poster who doesn't seem to know that the situation goes both ways.

Why do men disgrace themselves by sleeping with multiple girls before marriage?

zebra543:

no one gets too old to play petty games with a polygamous husband! one is automatically a ho when shes fooling atround to make her husband jealous, there is a specific age to stop trickin and at that age you should realise that when you marry a king in yorubaland he can and will marry younger thinner and better women after you!!!
Go sit somewhere

violent:

you are a goat! ----{no offense to all goats}

If you are going to sound dáft, at least be funny while at it----a boring dáft person does the world no good!

so in your own words, if you have a daughter and she came home with second degree burns cos her husband is a king in yorubaland, you'd send the husband a cow and a thank you note for a job well done?

Of course now. That is what tradition demands and of course a King of Yorubaland is always right, even if he is blatantly wrong. (Didn't you know?)

Cantaloop:

Just read the whole story from the beginning and am at cross roads here. Why is nobody seeing the role Nairaland played to destroy Sia fuller's relationship. I was in shock to see christians condemn a person almost to death when he didnt do anything wrong apart from that he was an athiest in principle but he treated her like a queen more than most xtian brothers would do. His reaction was really deep felt and i could feel his pains coming to terms with how he was throughly abused by some christians here. Am sure if they had guns, they could kill him because he is not a xtian. Why would Sia now bring her problems to Nairaland knowing fully well that she is not going to get any intelligent answer and when labake advised her, she should have taken heed to her advise but now she has lost her family, lost her fiancee, lost her friend all because she exposed her private life to Nairaland. I dont blame Labake one bit for reporting her but labake should have been a forgiving type to allow her wallowin her mistake and learn from it. Maybe Labake had eyes on Funaya all the while and Sia gave her enough reasons and the opening to step in.

The moral of the story is for us to keep our relationship issues to ourselves and not expose it to online forums because it could lead to the destruction of a perfectly good relationship.

Meanwhile where are all the christian brothers that were bashing the guy and encouraging Sia to leave him because he was a devil?? You see life and human beings? They destroyed a perfectly good relationship and when the problems came, they left Sia all alone to face the music and they cant lift a finger to help. Labake is truely the beneficiary of this story and kudos to her for being smart! I dont buy the idea that Funaya might leave Labake at the end because he sounds like a decent guy and only got upset when Sia allowed her relationship to be taken public and he probably got more upset reading all the insults hurled at him. If Labake learns to understand him, they could be happy together.

just my 2pence sha o!!!

You made some good points but we have to remember that her religion was too big an issue for her to let go of. Let's face facts here. The Bible itself says that someone who is born again shall not " yoke themselves unequally with unbelievers". Obviously she loves her God but theres also one problem. She loves her bf as well. I think all she wanted was some advice. I personally did not contribute to the topic she posted because I thought she knew what she had to do but was too scared to face it.
But the truth is this. Any marriage or relationship built without God as its center will not stand. That is the bitter truth. If you think I am lying, then take
this relationship as an example. Look at what happened. As soon as it hit the rocks, her ex- bf ran to Labake . God has actually given her an answer in the best way possible and he has been very kind to her in doing so. If she is smart, she will realize that this means that God is either saying an outright No, or that It is Not yet time for this relationship to blossom. All she needs to do now is keep praying two points ;

a) That God reveals her soulmate to her
b) That whether ex- bf is her her soulmate or not, that God reveals himself to him.

We cant blame her for other people's reactions to her topic, neither can we blame her for seeking advice. I am sure that if she could see into the future she would have done so but alas, we cannot and that is why we need the opinions of others. If Sia Fuller ever reads this post , I hope she remembers that terrible things happen and sometimes we cause them ourselves but Jesus Loves you no matter what. And is this not better than a marriage which breaks based on differences in religion?

harakiri:

[b]From my observation,this kind of crap happens mostly to guys who are 100% loyal,loving,caring and affectionate to their wives. Their wives know that no matter what happens,the man will never abandon them. . .so they take advantage. The woman's reply to the poster says it all (he is not going anywhere). Imagine that! Why is that women are always whining about not enough good men out there and when they find one,they treat him like crap? She has the balls to do this becoz she believes she has him tied down. If the guy was intolerant and ready to drop her like a hot potato at the slightest provocation,she wouldnt dare do what she is doing. [/b]These are one of the reasons why i'm not keen on marriage anytime soon. I dont need unecessary stress. Marriage sucks. . . BIG TIME.

Normally I avoid Harakiri's posts cos they reek of bitterness against marriage and women in general , but the bolded part of this post is ON POINT!!!! He nailed it. For her to have the audacity to say that "He is not going anywhere . . ." means that the beginning and end of this woman's problem is INGRATITUDE. Finish.

He's a married man?
Find out who his wife is and let her know / threaten to let her know in a way that you won't be detected. That way, he's def gonna leave you alone for a while!
The only problem is that your girl will be exposed but then she took that risk so she deserves it.
Don't beat him up. The girl you are here about is so not worth all that stress. Let her go. Its difficult but still try.

As much as I feel sorry for this guy, he said something that just doesnt sound cool.

FredyP:

I have been married for over 10 years, but recently my wife told me that she does not love me. Even worse, she said she had never loved me and worst of all she said that of all the men she has been intimate with in her life [b](she listed them – and painfully enough I know them too because she double dated with each of them during our courtship) I am the only one who does not satisfy her or give her pleasure. [/b]That in fact I have never given her an heavenly feeling yet all these guys have.
Before you say that she is merely being spiteful, she was saying all this with flood of tears and anguish. As you can imagine, it was equally extremely painful for me to her such words. The anguish can never be expressed in words and I do not wish my worst enemy to hear such words.
Naturally, I asked the following questions:
1. But how did it come to this?
2. But we have been married for over 10 years, when exactly did you begin to feel this way?
3. Why did you proceed to the wedding
4. Why did proceed to have children with me
5. Why didn’t you end it soon enough

,  answers she gave to these questions to follow.

So she was double dating in their courtship, and that was how he found out about the other guys. I'm guessing there are at least 2 guys or more. But he knew she was doing so . . . why didn't he get rid of her?
Not trying to add salt to your wounds . . . but it sounds really weird.

Flashfast1:

Nice story. But where do we come in?

Does she want advice on whether or nor to leave the first bobo for her new school boyfriend? **cos it seems she has already dumbed the brother**

Or Is it whether she should continue asking the school boyfriend to show her he loves her?

if its the latter then I'll say "you can't show what you don't feel". If he loves her believe me whether he likes it or not it will show. So tell your friend to stop making excuses for him (I mean the "he wants 2 be very sure before he finalizes" bull droppings). When and if he is actually in love with her she will know.

Brilliantly said.

olayinka.j:

@Iyabasira, i think u should ask Godmother to take u to her house so that u can tell her that ah! sisi ilewe o the guy u are going out with presently is not ready to marry u o, he just want to use u and dump u o so that she can be prepared for hrtbrk rather than attacking ppl here.

Did I attack you?
Who are you anyway? 

Godmother:

Why will a guy actually be movibg with a girl and still claim they are not dating?I mean this guy sleeps with this girl and all that.

My girlfriend's elder brother is "moving" with a girl right now and claims they are just friends.According to him, he asked her out some years back and she turned him down cos she was dating a mutual friend of theirs.That relationship didnt work out and one thing led to another and the said  girl became close to this guy years down the line. They do practically together, but this guy insists that the girl is just wasting her time and that he is never going to marry her since when he was actually interested in her, she turned him down.

And the sad part is that this poor girl is going around town telling the world that she and this guy are an item.The girl and I attended the same sec school and my heart goes out to her anytime I see her around this guy, but I just have to mind my biz and keep mute about the whole affair

@ Godmother ; Please, tell her. I beg of you. Let her leave him while she can. It looks like this guy she is dating is just too immature to get over the fact that she rejected him in the past. If he wasnt interested in her any more, then why was he going out with her?

ik_moore2:

we are like that because girls feels we are fools they can dump and pick up anytime they feel like,

Infact as i type this now I am in the same situation,  she was my 1st teenage love but she refused me bluntly and now I am somebody and her so called prince charming have disappointed her, she is all over me.  Aside  _{She is equally wasting her time like she wasted mine then.}

What comes around comes around.

Apparently you are still in your teens because everything you just said reeks of immaturity.
Would you rather she went out with you even though she didn't like you? Is that what you want?
And since you said she denied you because she had a "Prince Charming", then it doesn't have anything to do with you being a "somebody".
Seriously . . . get a life man.

Flashfast1:

I totally agree.
I have also been in a similar situation and I happily broke her heart ten times over cos when I asked her out she opened her mouth wide and yelled "I can never date you". The embarrassment gave me sleepless nights.    So when she started acting all loving and caring (even though I never opened my mouth to say anything to her) I didn't blink before messing her up. By the time I was through with her she felt the the dose of pain she made me feel ten times more and I felt satisfied.

I think the question should be : why do ladies think they can say no to a guy and come back any time (especially when the guy is doing well) and the guy will still be waiting for them. 

Don't you people get it
She didn't come back because she saw he was doing well . . .  The reason why she didnt go out with him in the first place was due to loyalty to her then boyfriend. It had NOTHING to do with his status then or his status now.
The poster says she and the present guy got close YEARS DOWN THE LINE, after she had broken up with her bf.

harakiri:

If it was a guy a lady was doing this to, all the ladies in the house would have deliriously urged her to kick his arse to the curb, but alas, its one of their own and the poster feels pity due to ticking bio clock forgeting that this same lady turned him down for greener pasture and the only reason she is with him now is becos of disappoint. Talk about insult upon injury. Only a wimp would take such a woman seriously. This is a classic example of how devilishly manipulative women are. And they still have the guts to play the victim when they devious set up fails. Kudos to the guy. He is doing us proud. I wish your friend eternal spinsterhood. . .as well as other ladies like her. Y'all deserve the fruits of your demented delusions.

Why are people acting like this?


She didn't go out with the guy because SHE WAS DATING SOMEONE ELSE! And a mutual friend for that matter!
What did he expect her to do? Dump her boyfriend and start dating him?
If she had done so, the person who was dumped would probably start a topic on NL saying "Why are girls like this?" , and you, Harakiri, would probably unleash tons of hatred on her for generations to come.

oyb:

what i have is worse than light

the voltage  fluctuates WILDLY.

i don't bother using that nepa power, before it scatters my appliances

This is extremely hilarious and also quite sad . . .   .

For some reason that flower reminds me of a bat when its hanging upside down trying to sleep. I'm a big fan of nature . . . but the flower in the picture gives me the creeps.

Could it mean that she has an identity crisis? As in that she is African but acts like a white person? That seems like the right meaning to me.

If he uses a secret about something I deeply regret about my life that I told him to win cheap points in an argument.

Forgiving and forgetting and two different things though. I find that I cant really do either of the two. Because I've noticed that if you can forget, you can forgive . But I tend to over- analyse things (Or so my friends tell me) making it difficult to forget and nearly impossible to forgive.

OgidiBoy:

Once is even too much for me, my house belongs to my Mom and if my spouse should ever try it, she'll have to [b]GO[/b]. If she can disrespect my mom in my house only God know what else she can do.

No offence but the emboldened part is just WRONG.
Warning signs of a guy who is still attached to his mothers placenta.

Nairaland's Hottest Couple oOooh. Mba.

Now where will a girl like me find a handsome man like that

Thanks everyone for all your replies . . . I really appreciate all the help.

Will try to forget about it and concentrate on school ( like I should have been doing in the first place . . .lol)
God Bless you all !.

Helllo Nairalanders I need your help please!!!!

I was dating a guy, and I broke up with him on account of the fact that he cheated on me with one of my friends.

When I broke up with him , I stopped talking to him for a while but we became friends again after some time. So later we met up at a park, and got talking, and stuff happened. The problem was that this place was a park and we found this enclosed spot and we had sex.

I know what anyone reading this would think and I know how much it makes me look like a slut but I'm really not that type of girl. He was my first ever boyfriend and i just had a lot of issues at that time that I cannot even go into now.When it was over, I felt really shocked at myself and I even blamed him for it at first because he had texted me some days before we were to meet saying that he was Hot . . . but I never went there with any intention of doing what happened. I really didn't.

But later, I hated myself and him too because I knew it was totally wrong and it shouldn't have happened. I kept getting texts from him all the way back home saying he was sorry for what happened. He knew I was angry with myself and i guess he was trying to make me feel better.

Some weeks later, we were still friends and we still talked and chatted and but one day someone told me that he had been sleeping with some other girl while were going out as well ( meaning that he cheated with 2 girls, not just one) . . . and that he had said some really hurtful stuff about me to others when we first started going out, like that I moan when he kisses me . . . and some other stuff . . .
When I heard all that I ended things with him again and i basically just told him I didn't want anything to do with him any more. I didn't bother to explain cos i felt so humiliated. But later i sent him an email telling him why i said so. I don't know if he actually read it or not cos he didn't reply.

Anyway, fast forward a few months . I found out that after I told him not to talk to me again, he told everyone about what happened at the park. It was so bad that everyone knows the name of the place and all that. I felt so exposed because I've never been the girl chasing guys or doing anything like this . . I'v been in agony ever since cos first of all I lost my virginity to him , that was one of the issues I was dealing with cos I really regretted it ever since. Also, my mom had cancer and for a while i was scared that she was going to die and so many other things were just happening then and he knew that all this was happening to me when the stuff at the park happened. So I dont know why he basically just told all his friends that I was the one who initiated the sex, and even going as far as saying that he didn't want it but that I pressured him into doing it.

I cant say anything for myself except that I was very naive and ignorant and at the time i was also extremely vulnerable.

I feel so humiliated and degraded cos all this happened in the course of 2009 and I feel like my whole life was ruined. I look at 2008 and 2009 and the difference is so sharp. It feels like he ruined my life because I feel like a slut and one of my " friends" used that against me in an argument we had recently.
Also I've noticed that people who never spoke to me before are suddenly talking to me saying my "gist" has spread. But what it is , they wont say.

Can anyone help me with this ? Don't insult me please. I know this post will call for a lot of sarcasm but theres nothing you can call me that I havent called myself already. I just really need to know what to do next cos its been a while and the guy in question even has another girlfriend. I just want to know how to get over this situation. Thanks.