@ Poster ; Oh shut up. Like you are any better. Olodo.

debosky:

post the video here for us to verify, then after that inform him.

I can't believe that Debosky actually typed this and pressed the reply button. So just HOW do you expect to verify the doings of a girl you don't even know?

seyibrown:

Sledge406, In talking to the girl, he might be able to convince her to tell her man the truth! He would have helped a liar tell the truth and helped reveal the truth to the one who has been deceived. [/b]I don't condone her lying about being a virgin but[b] I still maintain that men do not tell their girlfriends/wives that they were serial rapists and have changed! If men wait till they get married for sex or stay faithful to their wives, most women will be come into marriage untouched.

It's hypocritical that the OP did not complain when his friends were 'doing' the girl back at school and passing videos around. He is now not happy that his friend will end up with their object of fun and ridicule!

VERY VERY TRUE. This was exactly what I said but some idiot called "like me" used it as a pretext to twist my meaning into something else. Any way it seems like the poster only saw the advice he wanted to see. You can do the right thing but it's very obvious he himself is not a very nice person. The last time he replied he said he found the video and was going to mail it to his friend. And that's just really nasty of him. He can tell his friend everything without showing him the video.

Inked_Nerd:

Kind of?? It is awkward!!!

ROFL!!!!!

I was a little . . . disturbed to find out that this was actually a poem. I wonder how they figured out what it was meant to be.

So basically, morals define ethics but ethics are not necessarily moral. Right?

Sorry but what's the difference between ethics and morals? Aren't they kind of the same thing?

A question;

How do we know the guy doesn't know already?
He might you know.
He might just not have wanted to tell the poster that she was going for a re- virgin operation. I am just guessing ooo cos after all he funded the check up itself.

seyibrown:

Poster said he told the girl to 'minimize'  and she complied. He did not tell her to stop coming!

A sensible woman would have noticed that the visits decreased but that still does not warrant her cutting the girl on her FACE . . .

dancewith:

@Poster

There is enough here for me to believe this is a bunch of lies. The poster obviously made up this silly story and wants to hear opinions. It is a wonder so many people are falling for this.

So humour me for a moment: (1) She came for a re virgin operation  - my foot. This is something that is so new it takes weeks to get appointments to do. How she has suddenly discovered this and hopped around to the UK for this surgery is a great deal. Your so called suspicion is arrant baldadash

(2) Her unclothed video is passed around and still around - Izdatso? Try a better line boy!

This form of story has been around for years. It is wearing thin. Pls be more imaginative next time

Actually the re- virginization thing started even before 2007. Its ONLY for those who have the money. lol

Your second query I agree with. It doesn't make sense for a video of supposedly several years ago to still exist, although it might be possible.

likeme:

It's not about destroying the girl's happiness, It all about NOT DESTROYING my friends happiniess. Whether I tell him now or not, The secret is out there, He is going to know soon., May be he is even reading this posts.

Do you need anothe BIG LIE to cover a lie in the name of remorse?, If you are remorse, come out clean and tell your guy that i have done it before (kini big deal?) you might spare him the 'horrific' details  instead of lie ingggg and still puting another lie lie (virgin operation).

somebody like the girl can lie to get herself a certificate then she need another lie to get herself a job, then another set of lies to get herself promotion and somebody like IYABSIRA is saying she is a good girl because she has a pure heart.

if she has a pure heart come out clean and stop deceieving the man. If the man loves you, he can still go ahead and marry you and stay beside you whenever anybody want to use your past to haunt you. Instaed of cajoling him to marry you at ALL COST

Poster say the truth and Let the devil be ashamed and be free from guilty conscience.

Dude . . . is it so difficult to read and comprehend what another person says?

I was making a comment on the poster's own thoughts when I mentioned that no one is truly "good".
There is a difference between giving advice and giving your own opinion based on what someone else has said. I did both. And if you cannot differentiate between the two, then you need to polish up your reading skills.

Have your own opinion but don't address mine in an insulting manner.

You truly are an evil person.
Let me guess. So she dumped you and now you posted the pics seeking revenge, eh? Clap for yourself.

Hauler , are you male or female?

Please don't tell me you actually paid any sort of attention to that buffoon.

He isn't confronting her. He is just telling her to be honest. It's against every rule of decency to know something that would affect your friend and NOT tell them.
If she does it herself, he won't have to be the evil friend who ruined things.

swiftyc00l:

A great worth of wisdom and sense coming 4rm u lot! lilkeme, yr last two posts and those of a number of peeps on here helped me make up my mind. Am gonna call him up this weekend and let him know the truth, ill do it at weekend just so it doesnt mess him up at work. This guy is a very hardworking, nice, upright and selfless guy. He has looked out for his guys and we have been thru thick and thin over issues 2getha in whateva situations in the past. He is very honest and faithful as well as innocently trusting even when it cant be proved this i know 4 a fact. I believe he deserves a whole lot better than her!

Yes, based on Nikky's story, many good guys get hooked to bad girls which they come to regret at the end and this is probably due to people like their friends keeping silent about it when they see them heading 4 disaster. There are some good girls out there better deserving of him than her, one of them ought to be blessed with a quality guy like him, NOT her. In following up with the karma story peeps, has it crossed yr mind that i could also end up in a similar position and cos i was silent now, my best pals also end up silent about stuff that would affect important life decisions. God forbid. Am o go ahead and tell him if he doubts then ill release the videos secretly to him in batches till he's doubtfree. His fiance can plan to do what she likes, i asure u, ill be READY!

Any objectors?

I hope this gets to you before you spill the beans but I just wanted to give you my advice.

To be honest, the re- virgin operation thing is not new. But it doesn't mean she is a bad person. She may have found a guy she really loves and theres something you said earlier that pained me. You said and I quote , There are some good girls out there better deserving of him than her, one of them ought to be blessed with a quality guy like him, NOT her. What exactly is a good girl? Is it one who has never slept with a man or is it a girl whose heart is truly pure? People say that God chose Mary because she was a virgin and its not true. It was because she had a pure heart and a sound mind. So in the world we live in today, who is truly good? It all depends on your definition.
She may have done awful things but please don't be so quick to judge. My suggestion is that you speak to HER . Be very honest and straightforward with her. Her doing the re- virgin operation might not necessarily be that she is capable of murder as someone said earlier. That is a girl trying to fix a mistake she once made. She probably feels that her virginity ( which is now gone)  was the only thing she could have given to her guy and she's not going to tell anyone how messed up she feels inside. You know how Nigerians are , they'll say "OH! Didn't you know when you were doing it ?"
Everyone tells you to move on but no one explains to you how to forgive yourself. You might see the whole re- virgin things as an act but I see it as a girl admitting that she messed up - not to her bf because she is just too scared. She is definitely not going about it the right way but thats why I said please speak to her first. And depending on how you structure your words, she might have a change of heart, who knows.
I am not justifying her actions in any way, however.
If you can convince her to come clean then no harm done. But be sure to ask your friend how things are going with her a while later. If you are really good friends then he will tell you about her coming clean (if she has). If she hasn't then feel free to tell him.

And please, please, I beg of you, do NOT show him the videos,  Put his feelings into consideration. Showing him will just traumatize him for life and this will just make things extremely difficult for the next girl who comes along. You said he already has trust issues and the video will not help matters. I know you want to look out for your friend but please follow my advice.

A

HOTLIL@sa:

Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.

Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.

Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.

Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.

Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.

Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.

Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.

Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e, don't want him hanging with his friends and family).
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.

Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.

Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.

Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.

Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.      

Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and smile.

I concur with the above bolded segments.

I feel very sorry for you. It's obvious from what you've told us that he doesn't love you any more. Please pack your bags and leave.
Please do so before death knocks on your door.

chukxy:

In as much I am not supporting the police for their brutality on innocent Nigerians;in this particular scenario, I would blame the Beauty Queen
for what happened to her. In her story, she gave excuses or justifications why she should move out from the main traffic to the shortest root.
But what she forgot was that every other person in the traffic at that point in time has a justifiable excuse to obstruct the traffic or take a shortest root. Just imagine everybody doing that at that point in time, is better imagined what chaos would haven taken place at that point in time.

I know quite well that if she had considered the possible challenge she would face to accomplish the task she had at hand on time and made a proper plan, she could have left her house on time, probably she may not have met the traffic jam; even if she met the traffic jam, she could have been patient enough to follow the main traffic and saved herself from this embarrassment.

Anyway I am sorry to what happened to her. It is lesson to her and all of us to imbibe the habit of meeting appointment before schedule so we can always compensate for any eventuality like this.

The word is  ROUTE , not root.
She DID leave early , and if you had read her story properly you would have noticed that she was already driving at 10.45am while the appointment was due to start at 11.30. Also, any Nigerian knows that if something is said to start by 11.30, it will ACTUALLY begin at 12.30.

Jumping lanes is wrong, yes. But if her car was over heating she had a concrete excuse for leaving her lane . Some people jump lanes without better reasons. Even if she did jump her lane, she cannot be blamed for the policewomen's unreasonable behaviour. In her situation you would not have moved to a faster lane? She even asked and we all know some people just butt in in front of your car and you have to wait for them to go in first.

tpiah:

i dont think he did, considering the ease with which he hopped from one woman to another for different reasons.

some people are seriously handicapped when it comes to love and relationships.

they're their own worst enemy.

But you remember that in the end, the girl he got pregnant was a nurse  and she was crying because she knew Tade didn't love her. I felt sorry for her too. But if Tade wasn't in love with her , then it was probably Rosaline he still had feelings for.

190, :

see this as well,

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-30115.128.html#msg5846918

Funny enough I had seen this topic and read it before I even decided to join  Nairaland .

yorke:

NYSC=National Youth Service Corps.

Clever boy . .! Clap for yourself.   

tpiah:

that's right- it was The Hopeful lovers.

And the cheater's name was tade.

i nearly cried when i read that book.

But I could never figure out whether he actually loved her or not.

tpiah:

the whole thing reminds me of one pacesetter book sef- cant recall the name.

exact same scenario- some guy (a medical student i think) spent a lot of time persuading a reluctant lady to date him. She finally agreed, and they got into a serious relationship.

he then cheated on her with one lady, who proceeded to use jazz on him until the jazz no even work again (after marathon # of times having s.ex). The woman's babalawo took a liking to her and fixed it so she stated getting the hots for him (babalawo) instead of the other lady's boyfriend.

The two timing guy then went back to his fiance and all was well.

until youth service, when he panshed a lady (he said he was lonely and missing his fiancee) who quickly got pregnant. He now promised marriage to this other lady.

the ex-fiancee now found out during a visit, and almost ran mad. She then became an SU and even rejected the advances of another guy on campus who wanted to marry her.

i think that's how it went.

I remember that book!!!! I loved those Pace Setters series. The girls name was Rosaline and the guys name was Tade and it was called the Hopeful Lovers. Sick book.

Yeah it looks like it might turn out that way in real life from what I can see. The guy I initially spoke about has already cheated on his gf about twice or so.

Omolola1:

@OP, no i cant do dat, my cousin would know i told her, am the only one dat knows about it apart 4rm his friends

You could just say that you are ONE of the girls he has slept with on the phone when you call her anonymously. Sorry if it seems like I'm badgering you. I just wish she had some way of finding out.

tpiah:

some yoruba guys in particular tend to go haywire during youth service or when they leave home, because many of them arent used to being so unrestricted.

i could be wrong but that's what i observed.

they see so many girls available for the picking, with no strings attached [unlike home], and they just jump on board and "enjoy".

That actually scares me because the guy I was talking about is my friend's boyfriend. But he's a Warri boy and not a yoruba one like you mentioned.

Omolola1:

Not only poo, she is in HOT WATER! She called not too long ago, but am not in the position to tell her what is going on

But that is messed up on so many levels  . . .  what if he gets aids or whatnot? Is there any way you can make an anonymous call to her and tell her what her bf is up to? You don't need to mention your name, of course.

SA Goddess:

LOL, you like drama!

LMAO! ! ! It's just that I'd seen this thread and for some reason I never opened it . . . till today. And I know how frustrating it must have been for you because Mutter has said something similar to me before on the thread about the fight for equality in marriages. Jennykadry even posted one of her replies.

Anyway, no wahala.

Omolola1:

@iya basira, yes he did o! infact am surprised cos when he was in lag, he doesnt look at oda gurls twice. am so surprisd

WOW . . . his fiancee is in deep shyte . . . poor girl.

Just read through the whole thread and I'm like   . . .




How could I miss such a spectacular cat- fight?

Oh well, always a next time. ***Sighs sadly***

Omolola1:

my cousin who is on NYSC in Adamawa state is HAVING FUN! he said he is aving great s3x. nd hs fiance dey hia dey wait~

Honestly? Did he really say so?

I was talking to a guy  one day and he mentioned NYSC and was saying stuff like " Men  . . . I cant wait for NYSC , I just can't ". And I was like " What's so special about it? "  but he just laughed and said  nothing.

Now that may seem extremely irrelevant, but I have since heard that NYSC is merely an avenue for everyone to sleep with as many people as they can.
I don't know much about NYSC myself so I thought I'd ask. If what I heard is true, then what happens to those in relationships who go for it? Do they just go with the flow and sleep with as many people as they like?

Thanks for any future replies.

@ Poster ; If the two of you genuinely love each other, then this shouldn't be a problem. Talk to him and see how he feels. But if you are not comfortable with him coming over, then tell him it has to stop.

Confetti's post completely answered the question. Before that, I was following the back and forth questioning cos it made me laugh. Now I don't know what the argument is about any more.

Godmother:

Some threads just get me boiling. No sense at all.Is it by force to post?

Actually, I think it's a good idea. It enlightens us to the fact that the average guy is nothing more than a slut.