₦airaland Forum

She was so pretty!!!!!!!

But her elder sister sounds suspicious. Why would her own sister ask her to collect 20, 000 Naira from an unknown man at 9 pm the day before the incident happened
And then after that, she decided to sleep over in the man's house

Completely weird.

I think it's the light for some reason . . . There's tooooo much of it in those pictures.
I thought she looked nice overall , but i have to admit, when I saw the first picture the first thought that ran through my head was " I think Genevieve is getting old, ".

kitty kat:
I laff at your posts. I'm not trying to scoff or anything but u guys are talking like ppl who do not understand whats happens in this part of the world. Its not just the husband and woman wanting to adopt. Inlaws can make you live hell on earth. I am talking from personal experience. There is no extent they would not go to make u miserable as long as they don't have what they want. Even the most educated of them.

Women go through a lot all in the name of marriage. The one I hate most is their belief that when a woman marries, she marries the whole family. So with that behind their mind they decide to get involved with every single affair of the family. Even when the married couples try to hide it. They go to the extent of making their son look like a fool for standing by his wife.

In my case, I have been labelled a witch, wicked woman, desperate woman, intending husband-murderer, family divider because their son stood by me. And also been accused of using charms on him. My life has been threatened.

In-laws  . I don't blame the woman for saying her life depended on it.

Yes, they threatened you. Yes, they labelled you a witch and a wicked woman. But did you faint and break your head on the toilet seat because you thought you were not pregnant?
Some things are very important, yes, but not to the extent that you lose total control of yourself because you did not get pregnant. The woman in this story was ready to kill herself if she did not have a child. She had only been married for 3 years.
Some people are married for more than that without children and they would look very foolish if they said their life depended on them having a child, because it means they have no reason to still be alive.
Laugh if you want, but bear in mind that even the Bible says "Children are a gift from the Lord". Did you hear that? A gift! Which means that no matter how often you pray, it is up to him and it is in HIS time! So there was no need for her to give herself so much unnecessary headache.

The story is ok.

I initially enjoyed the story until she said that her life depended on her having a child. That was when i switched off.

Can I ask a question? Why? Just why?

Why should having a child become the be - all and end- all of her existence? When will women WAKE UP?!
What happened to adopting a child? "Oh no, I don't want to adopt another man's child / adopted children always turn out to be bad" is what some of these foolish women say. If every barren couple in the world adopted a child each, maybe the world would be a better place by now. But you expect God to give you your own child with such a selfish mindset?
What happened to improving herself so she achieves something with the life that was given to her, so that when she eventually gets a child, she's a better mother than she would have been if she had wasted 3 years crying? (which is what she eventually did , anyway.)

It's not fantastic , just another Nigerian woman letting her mother-in-law bully her. Where's the originality in that?

omega25red:
poster

you shouldn't blame your so called friend for not telling you because she is not the person who hurt you. your boyfriend hurt you and not her. she is not obligated to tell you anything because there has been lots of situations when a friend opens their mouth and tell but then the woman would stay with the cheating guy anyway and eventually blame that friend for trying to break them up.
Anyway the new rule of the day is stay outta grown folks bussiness and that goes for you too. Let her find out when she does about her own man cheating on her then she would be able to relate and dont you dare tell her that you knew either.

as for your boyfriend snatching friend i hope you cut her outta your life and get some new friends and next time keep your man away from the vultures you call friends

I don't blame my friend. I never blamed her for what happened and I know where the fault lies. But thanks for your input anyway.


[quote author=Missy ★ B link=topic=546526.msg7090803#msg7090803 date=1289057407]Yes!

She made it clear to you that She didn't see you as a  friend [at that time] and, as a result didn't owe you any explanation of what's going on. Her duty is to be on her friend's side and there, she was. The friend just wasn't you but the other girl.


You're under obligation to tell her because you say she is your closest friend. . . . . You prolly even would have told her so. It's your duty to protect your friends, if you say you see her as a friend, closest one at that, you owe it to her. The only reason she doesn't owe it to you is because she never said anything about being on your side or you being her [closest] friend. She gave it to you as it is -  I was on that girl's side- and she protected ''her own''.
The problem lies here -  You consider her a friend, She doesn't think so of you. It's like a triangle, while you consider her 'your own', she considers someone else 'her own'.
It's not compulsory that I must be friends with everyone that sees me as a friends. Just like it's not compulsory for me to like everyone that likes me.

If I were in your shoes, I prolly would pay evil with evil- I wouldn't tell her- but, that doesn't make it a nice thing to do.[/quote]She is still my friend but no longer can i call her a close friend because I don't feel that close towards her any more.

The time when I considered her to be my closest friend was before she made the statement of not having any obligations towards me. I prefer to read between the lines of what people say so I still talk to her, we still gist about stuff but I'm not stupid. I don't expect anything from her any more.

[quote author=Missy ★ B link=topic=546526.msg7090567#msg7090567 date=1289054636]Cool!
Even though she didn't handle the situation well, I think I understand her point.
Again, I think she has a point, here.
Your 'Closest friend' said she felt closer to the other girl. Therefore, the other girl, at that time, was her own , and her own, she's under obligation to protect.
Yes, you are.[/quote]You ignored my main question. Which was this :

[b]After all, it's only friends that have obligations towards each other, right?
[/b]

Yorisb:
Is it me or does this story exhibits constructional homonymity?

[size=2pt]She is, she said, her friend's friend, her other friend, her closest friend. . .na wao![/size]

Did you want me to write the names of everyone involved?

[quote author=D-sense link=topic=546526.msg7090652#msg7090652 date=1289055693]OP
Can't get your point still.Sorrry[/quote]You are a guy, right? Cool. You have a girlfriend who is cheating on you and your best friend chooses not to tell you. Later you discover that your best friend's girl is cheating on him.
Would you tell him?

Hi People!


Ok, so I have a burning question to put before the Honourable Panel of Nairaland.

The issue is that once I was going out with someone who eventually started toasting one of my friends. All of my other friends knew, but none of them told me. I didn't really expect them to do so because they were closer to her than to me. But there was one person who i considered my closest friend of the lot , mainly because i had met her at the beginning of the year and introduced her to the girl who started going out with my bf without my knowledge.

So anyway, the main point is this. As I said, I considered her my closest friend so when the gist came out, I asked her why she didnt tell me. She had a lot of reasons, such as that we were quarrelling a lot, she felt closer to the other girl as a friend and so on, but the main reason she gave , and I quote , was " I'm not under any obligation to tell you anything."

So one issue is that if she can say something like that, then doesn't that mean that we are not really friends? After all, it's only friends that have obligations towards each other, right?

She is still my friend but no longer can i call her a close friend because I don't feel that close towards her any more.

The other issue is, this same "closest friend" has a boyfriend. And in an ironic twist , he is cheating on her. And I know about it because a reliable source told me.

Am I under an obligation to tell her this?

harakiri:
This story seems a lil far fetched but all the same, things like these do happen and there are a lot of sick individuals like the poster who somehow derive some weird joy from causing harm and destruction in other people's lives.They feel accomplished when they either sleep with their best friend's wife,snatch another man's girlfriend,sleep with their sisters friends,impregnate their landlord's wife. . . that kinda thing.

It's people like the poster that force people to do strange things they ordinarily wouldn't consider e.g committing murder.

@Poster

I have a confession to tell you. If i knew you in person and i saw you tied to a surgical table by this woman's husband and gutting your intestines slowly with a switch blade, i would NEVER lift a finger to help you. I would watch as you died a slow death and even contribute ideas to keep you alive for as long as possible so you suffer a slow excruciating death.

Sick people should die sickening deaths!

Sick thread! ! !

AMEN to that.

@ Harakiri; I am pleasantly surprised! You always seemed like the Anti-women type so I kind of expected you to say it serves her right. Or something along that line.

johndoe200:
This is just the usual Nigerian scare tactics,[b][b] I am married,[/b][/b] have been for many years. If anyone I know had her problem, they would go and get help.

Thanks for the advice but the question was how to extract her from her marriage, not what should she do.


Female solidarity is it?

Am I the only person who saw that?

So you have been married for many years and getting another man's wife drunk so u and your friends can sleep with her is how you catch your trips.

So what they say is true !!! Age doesn't signify maturity at ALL!

On the other hand . . . thousands of johndoe's are here just like you on Nl looking for their piece of the spotlight. E.g , Mr. Cork, and many others. Enjoy your time in the limelight, you hear?

[quote author=mama-gee link=topic=544728.msg7074718#msg7074718 date=1288831839][color=deeppink]Onyeka Onwenu shouldn't have gotten involved in this issue.

Toni Payne doesn't have dignity and respect for herself in any way, shape and form, so anyone involved in her case is just like her.[/color][/quote]Such are the rantings of a bonehead.
I assume you have met Ms. Payne and therefore you know all she is and all there is to her, right?

mbulela:
I am not a fan of onyeka but i think she should have ignored this girl.
The girl is a glory hunter seeking for attention.
I wonder how these sorts are called journalists?
the standard has so falling that it is appalling.
This response will not achieve much but only serve her insatiable hunger for attention.
Her (Azuka) write up or articles are so unprofessional and do not warrant the attention of any serious person.

You cannot ignore everything that comes to your attention. This  Ms. Payne has had a lot of bad press. And even at the beginning of her letter, Onyeka said that it was only a very serious matter that would make her write a letter to that Azuka woman. That should tell you that she isn't just writing because she has nothing left to do with her time.

Depends on the state of her heart and how greedy she is.

If she loves her bf , let her say no. If she fancies the other guy, let her say yes.

Besides, the players excuse doesnt make sense. I mean where he tells her not to tell her bf that he has multiple gf's because of trust. What has trust got to do with it? Its his life and however many girls he dates is his business.

Ofido:
She still cannot understand what He meant but i think its very very simple and its even the best thing to do this days,
'Hello sweetheart,i love you so much but plz i dont do marriage thing,can you please have my 1st child for me?' make a choice of the country you want to go to deliver the baby.
This was the exact word my cousin's boyfriend of six months told her yesternigth.
Reason's is dat He doesn't like the stress & trouble of women in the name of Wife.
But sincerely,i have been thinking about this since morning and am like this is the best option if some1 really wants to live long.
For we Men,Whatz even good about marriage after hearing the turmoil of those who are in it?,
After all the wahala we have to go thru to make money,you bring her in and the next thing she starts dictating to you.
[b]Two of my closest pals that got married last december confided in me that immediately after the wedding ther went to a babalawo to break ther wifes wings so that she cannot fly away.[/b]
But the question is,if your guy(well to do with all the good things of life) asked you for only a child what will be your reaction?

Well this situation is very simple.

If she wants to get married, then she needs to break up with him pronto.

If she wants to be a baby mama, then she should stay with him and bear as many kids as she can.


As for the second bolded part, all I have to say is; Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. In my opinion ,your friends are sick. They need deliverance.

And from the looks of it, you may need it as well.

Outstrip:
This shows that you cannot put a price on common sense

Bingo.

Wait . . . you mean things like this still happen?

oisehumen:
@ IyaBasira

You post has shown how matured and objective u are
I guess u are happily married

More power supply to your laptop.

Thanks . . .  But I'm not close to getting married at all, I'm afraid. I'm just 19. Lol.

Ivynwa:
Only Mrbrownjay knows where to hit greedy guys where it hurts em. Oliver twist indeed!
Nigerian guys need to stop maltreating most of these white ladies that humble themselves to help them get a piece of their country, when they need their papers they go to any length seeking the help of the natives of the country they are seeking residence in only to give them poor women all kind of bad behaviour later on. [b]I am not against anybody marrying to get their paper, we are all seeking greener pastures and better life for ourselves [/b]and family but let's not maltreat those that help us because some black Oyoyo or Asian cutie showed up, are we not the same people shouting against racism and stuffs. Some months back, a Nigerian man that married a woman( that has passed her fertile years and is already a grandmother) to get his paper was disgracing the woman when confronted with his infidelity and had the effrontery to tell the woman out of frustration that she should leave him so that he can get children (only because he is yet to get his residence because he sure is counting days to get that residence and divorce her ASAP). It's not good to use people like that without appreciating and being thankful for their help.

I think you are completely wrong with that one.

Why aren't you against anybody marrying to get papers? That is the root of the maltreatment you spoke about in your post. Lets assume that A sees B as a means to an end and not an end in itself. When the means that B can provide are exhausted, the maltreatment begins because there is nothing more to be gained from that union. A man cannot maltreat his wife if he genuinely cherishes her and her presence in his life.
If we can stop people from marrying unsuspecting white women just for papers, then we will be able to get rid of the issues that arise when the white women feel neglected and unloved.
I wonder why you are against maltreatment and not the fact that some people are merely using others for all that they can get. If we look at life from a cynical point of view, then we are actually all using each other. For instance we could say that I am using you to demonstrate my own point of view. But if that hurts you or your well being in the long run, then isnt it better for me not to do it at all? Despite the fact that people say Oyinbos may marry and divorce as much as they like, they are still human beings and if they marry a man it is only because they think he will make them happy. You are right to say that its not fair to maltreat people , but marrying them for reasons other than love is also a different kind of maltreatment. It is deception ,and emotional abuse because you tell a white woman you love her when all you want is papers. That's all it is.

@MrBrownJay; Please don't argue with him any longer. Hopefully he will realize the error of his thoughts before he gets too old to change them.

adagz 01:
Its not a "rubbish" rather than an acustomed act just like the westerners(women in focus) can marry and divorced and re-marry up till 20x in their entire life.

Can we focus on the main problem here which is "NIGERIAN MEN who cheat"and not "WESTERN WOMEN who marry and divorce as many times as they like".

omohwunmmy:
[b]@iyabasira well said.
' the fact dat a dog often runs away from home doesnt mean he isnt a good dog'. Sounds like a logical reasoning. [/b]
@topic:
If my bf cheats,I wont walk out of my relationship if it is a one time thing and it wasn't deliberate. But if d man feels its his right to cheat;then he can go date a hooker.

Ermmmmm . . . I was NOT supporting the blogger's statement. I was being sarcastic when I mentioned it but maybe I didnt make that clear. I personally thought it was a very stupid analogy for the main reason that men are not dogs, even though they seem to have a lot in common with the species. Lol.


[quote author=Inked_Nerd link=topic=528053.msg6914919#msg6914919 date=1286738967]
Wow, interesting. Hmmm, i'm startrting to notice that some girls would let it slide just as long as there was not emotion attached to the cheating partner
.

IyaBasira, you bring up some very interesting points in your comments especially with the part where you mentioned feeling happy when you hear about a girl who has cheated on her boyfriend. It reminds me of an episode on ABC's "20/20" where they were exploring various scenarios in a social setting and how people reacted to it. In episode that you reminded me of, it was an episode about abusive couples. They showed couples in a park arguing and fighting. Every once in a while, they'd switch it up based on race and gender. What I noticed was that when the male actors in the experiment would hit and berate the women, people came to the women's rescue but when roles were reversed and the woman was causing major damage to the men, many people seemed to turn a blind eye. As a matter of fact, there was actually a woman that walked by and kinda egged them woman on with a supportive yet silent gesture. Anyway, please don't let the idiotic ways of some men interfere [in a negative manner] with you how you perceive and interact with men. As for women enabling their sons to think that they're rulers of the world, that one on its own is a whole different issue/discussion. Hmmm, you've given me an idea for my next topic.[/quote]Inked - Nerd ; Thanks. I'm trying not to let it affect me. But its extremely hard. I know its bad to feel that way, especially if the guy was faithful. If he was then I feel sorry for him, but most of the time I'm just glad that there is one less guy to say "African Men, not women are programmed to spread their seed and so it is acceptable when a man cheats but abominable when a woman does."

I have a friend who is dating this girl he is supposedly in love with. We were talking on yahoo ms gr one day when he told me he had friends with benefits on the side. And I couldn't help telling him how interesting it was that he didn't think that what he was doing was actually cheating.
Now I am what a lot of people call "naive" which tends to mean that I see things only in black and white. So most of the time, I may see something that someone does and label them a bad person while others would try to identify with the person.

Well, because the person I just mentioned is my friend, I didn't go so far as to tell him that he was a bad person , of course, but I was not amused when he called those girls providing him with benefits "bitches".

It showed me a little about a boy's point of view anyway. Firstly they can cheat on the girl and think that it isn't cheating. I also read the thread about the girl who saw condoms in her boyfriends car and how a lot of the guys said it wasn't cheating because they weren't married, and it only made me realize that guys seem to like living in denial. It could also explain why they take it so hard when a woman cheats on them - because they never think the game can turn against them. I once read a blog where a guy tried to explain men cheating as an escapist sort of behaviour, by which he meant that men who cheat try to dissociate themselves from reality. That I agree with.

But then he also said that "The fact that a dog often runs away from home doesn't mean it isn't a good dog". Now if only men would think the same way about women who cheated on them.

Secondly, they cheat on the girl and then begin to hate the other woman. Supposedly for complying to their wish? Like I said, my friend called the other girls he was sleeping with "bitches". Why? Why insult the other woman when you know yourself that if it wasn't her, it would have been someone else? I think it's a form of self- loathing, but in which they refuse to see the part they played and then blame the other woman. A guy may dislike what he has done or is doing but will not admit any fault. It is the fault of his dad, because his dad was always cheating on his mom, or the fault of his friends for influencing him, or the fault of the other woman. Why? Because she was there, she was available, and she took part in it.

I think women are partly to blame for this. Some women spoil their sons rotten, not with clothes or flashy cars, but with lack of moral training which eventually deadens their consciences. They make them believe that they can do no wrong and they grow up with superiority complexes that turn them into their own worst enemies as they grow older.


The effect it has on me;

I read a lot of blogs and stuff so to me this is a never-ending question. It's like the question of "Why is there so much evil in the world?" and we all know that is one question that can't really be answered. This is one of those questions. It's like some sort of unspoken code amongst guys that you don't really become a man in the true sense of the word until you've cheated on at least one of your girlfriends. I cannot count how many guys I know who have cheated on their girlfriends. And it makes me extremely paranoid, to the extent that I have realized that I feel happy when I hear of a girl who cheats on a guy, just because I'm tired of hearing how many guys cheat on their girlfriends.

MrPrsdent:
shocking  

but the daughter is not blameless though.why keep quiet for soooo long.Now she has a boyfriend,she doesnt want her old daddy again

I think you are a beast. How can you say that? Dont say things like that cos its not even funny.

So not only did this get 10 pages of comments, it ALSO made it to the front page.


Nairaland is going to the dogs.

This is painful . . .
How can they give you a curfew at age 27 . . .?!

All you have to do now is get out as fast as you can. I can tell you for a fact that their clutches will be on your neck until you get married and maybe even beyond that. Don't bother arguing anymore. Just find a flat in Abuja, or go back to the US. They say that familiarity breeds contempt. Since that is the case, all you have to do is make yourself an unfamiliar presence.

IBEXY:
Alas this story is mirrored everyday all around us. There are thousands of ladies (and a few men) like this. There are plenty of selfish "men of God" who mislead young people with their fake wisdom. The issue does not only apply to meeting the opposite gender and getting married, it involves you surrendering all your hard earned money as well every sunday to people who intimidate and tell you exactly what you want to hear. The pastor may have even wanted her for himself - who knows. Sheer jealousy could have motivated his actions.

In my experience I have met at least two ladies who live exactly like this. One eventually married. The other one is still parambulating up and down at nearly 50yrs old. Infact I thought she wrote this story because she is in the same age bracket. What man wants a woman who would call your every move "devilish". I still remember her now:

- She does not watch movies,
- no music is good except gospel songs (only the ones she likes)
- no parties, or eating out
- no sexy clothing (its all garish long skirt and scarves no makeup either)
- She condemns all your clothes as devilish - you should be on suits 24/7
- You must read the bible all the time - get rid of every other books
- Sleep and wake to the sound of a christian chorus.
- Above all, you are not allowed to touch her or any other girl despite you have been dating for nearly a year.
- And then, you must leave every other church and join hers - to worship her pastor as an equal to Christ.
- Contribute a massive chunk of my salary to the church every month

You guessed right, I left her. The pressure was too much. I was becoming an extremist and begining to forget how to enjoy life. Today I met and married a fellow "sinner" and we live happily.  Extremism works out badly in the end. You loose social skills, friends and forget how to live and enjoy life. You cannot spiritualise the physical without suffering the consequance.

The worst part is you will see people coming to this thread to encourage her to keep praying instead of arranging a man for her. What she needs is not more prayers. God already answered those prayers by sending men but her selfish pastor sent them away. What she needs now is a man. Am therefore appealing to any unmarried nairalander to consider this open hearted application in good faith.

Dude, please tell me you are joking. Cos the woman you described seems too extreme to be true. No eating out? No movies (Not even Christian ones?)

This story reminds me of the Christian joke below.

It had been raining for days and days, and a terrible flood had come over the land. The waters rose so high that one man was forced to climb onto the roof of his house.

As the waters rose higher and higher, a man in a rowboat appeared, and told him to get in. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the rowboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and suddenly a speedboat appeared. "Climb in!" shouted a man in the boat. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the man in the speedboat went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.


The waters continued to rise. A helicopter appeared and over the loudspeaker, the pilot announced he would lower a rope to the man on the roof. "No," replied the man on the roof. "I have faith in the Lord; the Lord will save me." So the helicopter went away. The man on the roof prayed for God to save him.

The waters rose higher and higher, and eventually they rose so high that the man on the roof was washed away, and alas, the poor man drowned.

Upon arriving in heaven, the man marched straight over to God. "Heavenly Father," he said, "I had faith in you, I prayed to you to save me, and yet you did nothing. Why?" God gave him a puzzled look, and replied "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what more did you expect?"


Expecting God to come down from heaven to show us the way is never a good thing.

I feel extremely sorry for her sha. If all else fails, then, at least she knows that she is going to heaven just  like the man in the story.

Clap for yourself!

Opotuniti:
Really!!
Forget story baby, I must say u dint luv him as such, or else somtin'll likely draw your memories back to those sweet times.
Check out my experience on d following thread, still experiencing it though. https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-520296.0.html

190 is a Nairaland transsexual.

One day he's a guy, the next day he isn't.

But he has a girlfriend so I'mm pretty sure he's a guy.

tpiah:
OMG.


lord have mercy, because the day judgment starts raining down on Christians, it wont be funny.

Seconded.

The wrath poured upon Sodom and Gomorrah will be nothing compared to that of this generation.

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=516349.msg6788155#msg6788155 date=1285003827]You just changed your position because I know that your previous stance was to helll with men's inability to control their sexual rage and urge and I advised you to chill because it is not as easy as it sounds.
on your second assumption that women always marry men they trust[sexually] in this aspect but I will happily announce to you that your assumption is erroneous. Women mostly marry men they believe they can change. They know he is randy but are ready to tolerate that as long as he is ready to MARRY them.

If your assumption is true, then we wouldn't have polygamists or baby mamas who conceived for married men. It is more sincere to ask women to remove their own speck because they knowingly screw these men and if these men do not get professional women who knowingly screw them and hope he divorce his entire family to marry them, may be, the men will chill out a bit. But west, east, North and south, there abounds many women waiting to embrace any piece of man who has something like money or marriage to offer. I speak the truth irrespective of the consequences.[/quote]I think your problem is that you fail to understand comments before jumping in to defend your kin. When did I change my standpoint? Isn't this what I said in the beginning?

IyaBasira:
I am getting SICK of this daft excuse!

Men are weak! So bleep WHAT?

God gave you eyes in front of your head so you can look, but you can also LOOK AWAY!!! You can use your brain to think about unholy things but you can also CHANGE your train of thought as well! [b][b][b][b]I hate this idea that places all the responsibility on the women and expects them to deal with men's weaknesses themselves. Whatever a guy wants to do, he will do it whether the woman is ugly or beautiful. Some men will hump anything with two legs so the whole "don't hire a beautiful house help" is extremely dumb.[/b][/b][/b][/b]
[/color]
A smart woman doesn't keep a beautiful housemaid, fine. Fair enough. But if the man was smart, he would help the wife so she doesn't need a househelp. Simple!

Can you read it well now?

So how did I change my standpoint?

When you read something, you may be tempted to jump in and defend the other party, but my point was NOT "To hell with men's sexual urges or whatever". My point was that I was sick of that stupid excuse of "Men are weak". My point is that there is such a thing as self- control and men need to exercise it. You can be weak but is it everything that must incite you to cheat? Human beings are weak when it comes to temptation but you don't have to give in to it. That is my point and not that caricature you presented in your last post.
I mean, seriously. He was saying that a man can see his househelp sleeping naked at night, and it sounded like "Oh well, even if the man cheats, he can because MEN ARE WEAK. "
If the househelp is in her own room and sleeping naked, it's her choice! You have to make your own choice yourself and not let something like that affect you!

Another problem with you is your is generalization. Not all women marry men because they believe they can change. Some women actually do marry because the man loves them and vice versa. And if they believe that all other factors are in place such as trust, respect, kindness etc then they decide to get married.
You can blame the women all you want, and say that some women sleep with married men and all that. But you seem to have forgotten that some men also lie about their marital status. Some say they are not married when they are.

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=516349.msg6787913#msg6787913 date=1285001357]I don't know the school of thought you subscribe to but everybody does not have the willpower to resist temptation. If that is the case, then people will be perfect and I don't think you can say that about you. Everything is not about sexx, so because you do not yield to sexual temptation doesn't mean there are no other temptations you yield to.
Again, the essence of getting married varies for people. Some do it for procreation and family building, some do it because others are doing it, some do it because they were forced to while others do it because they fear God and their religion forbids sexx outside wedlock.

Forget your male/female agro fro a second and put yourself in their shoes. Their could be some weakness they have that make them fall for bootay no matter how it will jeopardize their family or career and taking advantage of that weakness of theirs is evil in its entirety. So while I blame men for not making enough efforts to control their randy nature, I also blame women for knowingly tempt them intoo it.

[b]A woman who employs another knowing full well that her employee can put her husband in harms way but ignores it because the man has the option to look away is indeed a fool and a Jezebel.[/b]


Don't rejoice to early, women may have will power over sexx than men but their are other things they have less will power over men. Things like the desire to get married. Men continuously bait women with the promise of marrying them and women continuously fall for it, is it appropriate to tell those women to go to hell?[/quote]This isnt about male or female aggro.
What woman would marry a man she didnt trust?
I would not, and I don't think any woman would employ a housemaid if she knew her husband couldn't handle it.

Seriously I think you are arguing out of context. The issue is that some man will sleep with a househelp regardless of whether she is ugly or beautiful.

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=516349.msg6787703#msg6787703 date=1284998745]What if  they don't have the will power to look away. Are women going to use that weakness of theirs to take advantage of them?. Its like telling a crackhead that he has the option to look away from crack without offering him help to enable him look away knowing full well that he does not have the WILLPOWER to ignore crack.[/quote]EVERYBODY has the will power to resist temptation.

Yes temptations are there but it is not mandatory to subscribe to it!

Your analogy of comparing a crackhead to a married man is completely wrong. Cos a crackhead trying to resist drugs is completely starved of drugs so he can get rid of the addiction but a married man is not completely starved of sex. It's just that he can only have sex with one woman. And that's it.

Isn't that the whole essence of getting married? What is the POINT of getting married if you know you cannot resist every Jane, Sylvia and Jumoke that comes along? If you know you cannot control your hunger, don't put yourself on a strict diet!! Simple! 
So I will get married and my husband will tell me he didn't have the WILLPOWER to resist! Save the hogwash for someone else. I'm tired of men saying that they are weak!  Imagine that same man saying that a man can cheat on his wife 2 or 3 times but that doesn't mean he doesn't love her. I disagree with that completely cos it looks like you guys have watered down the definition of love to suit you and only you. Your egos demand that you have one steady girlfriend , but it also demands that you play around every once in a while , right?


This was also why I said that a smart man would help the wife around the house so she would NEVER need a househelp. When men think they are above doing some things because it's a "woman's job". Thats when problems start cos she needs the extra help but you arent willing to provide it. What then is she meant to do? She has to look for it doesn't she?

[quote author=Aloy+Emeka link=topic=516349.msg6786619#msg6786619 date=1284987106]That's why I posted the link. See it in blue below.

So, an intelligent woman would not bring a beautiful young housemaid to live inside the same house with her husband even if that person is her relative or sister.
The man can be tempted any time because [b]men are weak[/b]. If you bring a very attractive young lady into your house as maid, even if you are a saint, there would be a day that may be, the woman has traveled and you are alone in the house or in the middle of the night he has gone to the toilet and he passes in front of the room where the maid is sleeping and sees her lying unclothed on the bed, anything can happen[/quote]I am getting SICK of this daft excuse!

Men are weak! So Bleep WHAT?

God gave you eyes in front of your head so you can look, but you can also LOOK AWAY!!! You can use your brain to think about unholy things but you can also CHANGE your train of thought as well! I hate this idea that places all the responsibility on the women and expects them to deal with men's weaknesses themselves. Whatever a guy wants to do, he will do it whether the woman is ugly or beautiful. Some men will hump anything with two legs so the whole "don't hire a beautiful house help" is extremely dumb.

A smart woman doesn't keep a beautiful housemaid, fine. Fair enough. But if the man was smart, he would help the wife so she doesn't need a househelp. Simple!

^^How are you so sure of that?

Omotola is a hot babe mehn GAWD¬!!!!!

Look at that figure . . . LORD, bless me toooo!!!

chaircover:
Iya Basira, thanks for stopping by, but I think you are in the wrong room. The exit is straight ahead.

John Okafors fan room is next door to the left and Clem Ohamaze's is to the right so please feel free to pick your choice     

Oh My days . . .  See insult. CHEI!


As for all you hating on my love for Van V. (Chaircover and JennyKadry) . . . remember one thing . . .

[img]http://3.bp..com/_1dVcNHSJwbs/TE722OKSacI/AAAAAAAAA80/TVX79v567xA/s320/van_vicker.jpg[/img]

He is happily . . . ***breaks down in tears*** oh God I cant do this.

Anyway am sure all of you are waiting for him to divorce his wife so you can pounce on him . . . you won't leave young men like him for people like myself shey? 

chaircover:
Abeg lets leave mrs Siena alone o. After all she is not our rival and besides she is another customer who should take a day off her busy schedule and go to spec-savers. I mean, how can she even begin to put majido or whatever his name is in the same sentence as van   

[b][b][b][b]Someone should please tell him to have a haircut & stop dribbling mucous from his nose when he cries (which seems to be every 5 minutes in all the films Ive watched him in) its a disgusting habit that he has in common with mercy Johnson & it puts me off eating eba and [b]okro soup[/b][/b][/b][/b] [/b]

I don die!!! LOL!