₦airaland Forum

NiRfreak:
Funny thing is we men are quick to generalize that any woman above 26/27 should not be considered again, I used to be so, but on a closer reflection, if I meet any lady of my ladies age, habit, character, financial discipline and job, I will marry her even if she's 30
The reality of my sisters now make me understand that not all 29 or 30 year old are Bad or Ashana...... But to know 29/30 year old who are still okay is the problem.... unless you talk and relate to understand their psyche

I personally won't marry any lady who is above 25years old. I'll rather marry an illiterate girl between 18 and 25 yo than marry any old lady. I have my marital goals clearly spelt out and I don't need a lady above 25 to achieve those goals regardless how rich or educated she is

Honestly, at 29/30 yo, their chances of finding good husbands have become limited as no decent young man with his masculinity intact would want to wife any lady above 27yo.

Their best baits is to search from among widowers, single dads and polygamous men. That's the consequences of not setting one's priorities right and hooking up a decent man when they were much younger. They must have been deceiving themselves that they could get a man whenever they want to marry

Since youths of this generation started marrying for 'love', the noble institution of marriage became a nightmare and uninteresting.

Diamond098454:
not every man cheat? Hmmmmmm this is the first time I'm hearing this.

My dear, not every man cheats! What I think is that many men end up not marrying the kind of ladies they desire but marry anyone who is available at the time they want to get married and thereafter they start cheating with the ladies they really desire. Sometimes, they marry the ladies they don't really desire but who has the potentials to help them gain economic empowerment. Once they become economically buoyant, they'll start cheating with those kinds of ladies they desire.

tunjijones:
Almost every man wants to cheat.

Listed below are what stops men from cheating from my own perspective:
1. The fear of God
2. The fear of your wife
3. Poverty.

There are men who are naturally designed to love and be with only one woman. I'm an example of such men. Once I'm in love with one girl, I find it very difficult to love another girl. I wonder how some of you manage to date multiple women at the same time.

You made it seem like though narcissism is only found in men. There are also narcissistic women who display all the characteristics you listed above, including domestic violence on their husbands. So, the advice should be for both genders to avoid narcissistic people.

Enugu state used to be one of the most affordable cities to live until Peter Mbah came with his heavy taxes which resulted in increase in the cost of everything... especially house rents which has become too expensive and unbearable for many people in the state.

joseph1832:
Well. This will be the perfect time for that Ogala woman to sue this pastor. She shouldn't be a social media noise maker. Let her sue him. Period.

I've often said it, social media isn't the courts. It's never prudent to bring your woes, trials and tribulations here. The courts is the appropriate place to take such matters to.

Why should she sue him? Should men also sue women who dump them after milking them of their resources? Or is it only when a lady is at the receiving end that y'all remember that someone who breaches marriage agreement should be sued and made to pay damages?

Imagine if guys start suing women who dump them after promising them marriage!

saphiere:
God puniiishe u. u didn't read that part he duped her of her N45m.

He did well. God used the so called pastor to punish the lady for abandoning her husband. She served her husband breakfast and expected nature not to dish out her own karma

essentialone:
A wise man once said, if God only intended sex for Marriage only, he would have given humans genitals only on their wedding day.

Reference me on this brother

Foodqueen:
It's always the same. The grass isn't greener on the other side.

Stop generalising men! Not every man cheats! It is you ladies who leave your genuine lovers for some playboys then turn around and start crying when the guy man shows his true colour after the initial emotional feelings.

dollytino4real:
e don late so wat is the way forward

Talk to him and make him understand that he's affecting your mental health. If afterwards he doesn't change then you can file for divorce. Verbal abuse from someone you love is more painful than physical abuse.

This is what many of you ladies get when you leave the men God ordained for you and marry rubbish because of some useless emotion. Op, your right man would not be abusive to you but would shower you with endless love.

pansophist:
Because a woman doesn’t like you doesn’t mean your attention, money, physical strength, and having her interest in your heart is not useful to her.

That's the height of selfishness!

Pupanchie:
In other words, did he go back to the woman who rejected him earlier ?

No, he didn't go back to her because he's already with the other girl, but the first girl is now making it look like he was never serious about his feelings for her.

Skj13777:
So did he go back to the previous lady or continued with this new lady

No, he didn't go back to her. He is now with the new girl but the other girl is making it look like he was never serious with her

A friend of mine was narrating his experience to me yesterday about a girl he was genuinely into and even wanted to marry her. He said perhaps he was showing her too much love and attention, she started taking him for granted. He will call her and she wouldn't pick his calls nor flash him to show she didn't deliberately refuse picking his calls.

He said he was getting attention from other girls but because of how deeply he was into the girl he didn't look the direction of other girls but continued begging and trying to convince the other girl. The guy said he doesn't know how to keep multiple women as he finds it difficult to love more than one lady at the same time and I quite understand him as I have the same issue of not knowing how to divide my attention among different women. I guess some of us are born monogamous or our consciences wouldn't allow us play different women.

So, when it became obvious that the girl wasn't going to give him a chance for a relationship/marriage, he had to advise himself and move on. Then he now met another girl who accepted him and has been bonding with him thereby taking his attention totally off the other girl. He stopped calling nor chatting the other girl since then and would have even blocked her but decided otherwise after a second thought.

Fast forward to a few days ago, the other lady chatted him and started complaining of him abandoning her and that it shows he never really loved her. But that is not true as the guy said he loved her wholeheartedly and was ready to do anything for her happiness. He said even if the girl had given him some conditions he must meet before marrying her, he was very much ready to abide by any condition.

Now, the question is why do you ladies take your genuine lovers for granted until he gets tired and move on and then you start accusing him of not genuinely loving you in the first place. Or is it that when the guy moves on and finds happiness in the arms of another girl you realise that you actually messed up. Perhaps you were busy courting the attention of other guys who never genuinely wanted you but are just there to play games and dump you thereafter. You all need to know that not all the guys begging for your attention in your DM are genuine lovers. Most of them are playboys who only wanted to "score" and put you in their "counts". Being playboys, these guys have mastered the female mindsets and take advantage of that. They know those things you consider attractive in men and would not hesitate to flaunt them before you to get you into bed. On the other hand, your genuine lovers may not be the playboy types and so, they might not know those things that easily sweep you off your feet. It is left for you to sift them out and make them the kind of guys you desire. I can assure you that many of these guys are easy to mould into your kind of guys. So, before you hurriedly reject a guy next time, pause to think critically so you can be sure you're not rejecting the man God made for you. A word is enough..........

Only a man's love can be this genuine! If it were a woman she would have abandoned the man in that condition.

Men are the only true lovers!

We4all:
If your husband misbehaves, get busy, make money and be useful to yourself and the society. Getting yourself a sugar boy is an indication that your life revolves only around sex.

And allowing a sugar boy access to your body as a means to punish your husband is a dumb move. Why? Because women suffer the consequences of sex more than men. Sex gives men pleasure, but brings pain to women. So, using sex as a tool for revenge means you are punishing yourself.

Does sex really bring pains to women? Why then do your fellow ladies complain when their men can't perform very well in the other room? We have seen many cases where women divorced their husbands on account of not being able to satisfy them in bed, so if sex is not pleasurable to women, why then do they refuse to marry men who can't perform in bed?

O

Juoflife1:
Every right thinking person already knows that men benefit more from marriage. There is no benefit in marriage for women except to answer "married woman"

How does marriage benefit men for crying out loud? The whole marriage arrangement is rather a societal set up against men! It places a lot of responsibilities on the man's shoulders! He's responsible for his wife and offsprings! He has to work his azz off to fend for his family. He also caters to the needs of his wife's family as well.

Then just at the time he is done training his children in school, death might take him away while the woman in most cases lives to enjoy all the goodies by their children. Even when the man is not dead, children often shower all the love and attention on their mother while the father is left to die of loneliness in the name of being a man.

The agbaya got pregnant for her boss but decided to hang it on the man. He then discovered and ended the marriage only for the lady to start posting falsehood about the guy on social media.

Ladies and their fullishness sef! Your boss who is married and never ready to marry you is who you allowed to impregnate you and then tried to hang it on the guy who found you worthy of marriage.

She's just talking rubbish! If marriage benefits men more, why don't we see men attending Shilo and crusades just to pray for marriage? Again, why does the society frown at any man of marriageable age who is financially stable but chose to live his life without marriage They use all kinds of derogatory remarks to cajole such men into getting married!

Now that my life is taking a good shape financially and I have decided to marry myself for some years and take care of myself before marrying any woman, why have tongues started wagging? Abegii!

Up

Ediko1:
Anyway, you're Igbo so you can never change your mindset about this. But you're very funny if you're still having that mentality and it shows you're still naive. You know the amount of young guys enjoying married women's money? You know how many married I've ran from their free knack offer including the ones I knacked without knowing they're married ?

If you like enter into the mouth of lion to find money all to please your wife or go to Malaysia to push drug to please your wife family thinking say you fit buy emotional connection via that. When a relationship wasn't build on emotional connection you'll remain a simp and you'll simp till you vanish from the earth.

Your wife will be busy thinking about another guy out there not because of money

This is how some of you create false beliefs in your heads and base your lives on them until they come to bite you. Statistics and evidence around has shown that more married women cheat on their husbands because of lack of funds to care for them. If you like, go and marry a slay queen when you don't have money to maintain her, that is when you'll understand what's up. The thing you call "love" or "emotional connection" like you put it is too fleeting to sustain a marriage! It crumbles when poverty and lacks set in in any relationship or marriage! Stop thinking like a small boy and embrace reality from someone who has seen things better than you!

Ediko1:
The above bolded is out of point.
Let me ask you if marriages last based on financial persuasion as the major foundation of the marriage then why are many young Igbo ladies leaving their older odogwu after gathering money they can use to take care of themselves?

Why will an odogwu wife be deeply connected to one struggling young man?

The are many questions but time won't permit me to type all

There are more women cheating on their husbands today due to lack of funds. In fact, the majority of women cheat because their husbands lack funds to care for them. The fact that perhaps a few married women cheat on their wealthy husbands doesn't make that the norm and this cuts across tribes!

When an inexperienced person makes a post, it is always easier to spot.

Igbos actually have the strongest marriages that stand the test of time because such marriages were not just based on mere emotions but on something stronger than emotional feelings! Emotional feelings don't sustain marriages because they're ephemeral and fleeting!

On the other hand, strong family ties, great character and wealth actually sustain marriages as they play longer-lasting roles than mere feelings!

Tonto Dike and Churchill were in love and even went as far as locking their so called love at a certain place far away from Nigeria. Tuface and Annie were also in "love" but we all know how their so called love ended. These are just examples to let you know that what the youths of this generation refer to as "love" doesn't sustain marriages!

The fact that some frustrated feminists gang up against marriages so they can get many young women into having similar fate as them doesn't make it right for you to smear a whole tribe because of the actions of a few ladies.

thesolutions:
Marriage is an agreement. You can either program someone to agree with you or negotiate agreement with someone.
It could be with the older ones or the younger ones.
The older ones mostly seem to be ready to agree with anyone because of time factor. The younger ones can be programmed to agree if they are kept within a consistent environment.

The ones in-between has known life in diverse ways and are more rational. They agree and disagree with anyone as long as dynamic situations hovers around the relationship.

No one truly agrees. They choose to endure. The older ones appears to be enduring more because of societal factor and that is what made scholars assume marriage with older women is easier to maintain.

That assumption is very wrong from what we see on daily basis between married folks. The older woman may agree with you at the time you are still courting her but the moment you marry her, she brings out her true colour and the next thing is to nag the living daylight out of you.

On the other hand, the much younger ones may even be more agreeable since her husband may be more matured and experienced than her. In fact, that is usually the case in most of the marriages here, so I wonder where they got that idea that older ladies are more agreeable from. I guess it's all effort to direct the minds of men towards going for older agbayas

You must have read or heard some people say that older ladies make better marriage partners and all. Even on this forum, I have read such unfounded claims over and over again. All these claims were simply intended to direct the minds of wife-seeking men towards settling for older women as against the younger, more beautiful and fertile girls. There's no truth in such claims! If at all, then it is the other way round.

Age has little or nothing to do with a lady making a better marriage partner or not. Instead, what actually determines a lady's attitude towards marriage is her upbringing. The parental influence, especially the influence of her mother, is what what majorly shapes a girl's attitude towards marriage!

In no distant past, our mothers and foremothers were getting married as early as 15years or even younger. The same mothers had the best of marriage because they were trained to be great wives to their husbands and mothers to their children. But today, the feminist movements want us to start believing that which they conceived in their minds just so that their fellow ladies could still get men in their old ages even after wasting away their youths on things that don't matter.

The truth is that any man who allows himself to be deceived by such ill-conceived thoughts would have only himself to blame. Marriage in this part of the world still places a lot of responsibilities on the shoulders of a man. You're still expected to carry the weights of your wife and children and no one ever listens to any of your excuses when you can't meet up with this responsibility, this is regardless how rich your wife is.

So, given the foregoing, why would you not go for the best of women? If everybody expects you to still carry the responsibility of providing for your wives and children, why not also ensure you marry the younger, more attractive and fertile girls and then cater for her with your full chest? Evidence have shown that women's fertility declines with age, so why marry an older uglier woman only to start struggling to have children with her?

No matter how some people try to deny the obvious facts about women's fertility declining with age, that's the unfortunate truth. We all marry for procreation in this part of the world as no one wants their lineage to close, so why should you deliberately go and put yourself at the disadvantaged position of marrying older woman and start trying to conceive by taking all whatnots and spending millions in hospitals in a bid to have a child. In my opinion, it is not worth it since the society still expects me to provide for my family regardless my wife's age.

I'll rather go for the younger girls who want to get married and then work hard to provide her needs. That way, I stand higher chances of not going through difficulties of struggling to have children with her. Also, being younger and attractive means that I'll remain attracted to her for long and not go through the temptations of cheating with younger side chicks because I no longer find my older wife attractive. Again, the shame of being accused of impotency because your older wife is finding it hard to conceive will not be there.

On a final note, don't let anyone deceive you with the fallacious claims that younger girls are not matured enough for marriage. It is totally untrue and the intentions of those spreading such lies are malicious. A girl from good homes and who grew under the tutelage of a great mom would make great wife at any age. Thanks and let's stop the fallacies!

Nobody pressured her to get married to a tout ! Stop apportioning blames! She must have been approached by responsible men for marriage but chose a tout for all the wrong reasons!

This generation of ladies don't get pressured into marriage anymore. They largely choose aszholes for frivolous reasons and then turn around to blame society for the consequences of their wrong choices

This sort of political judgements by courts need to stop in this country!

Tinubu should have some balls and uphold his earlier decision to pardon the woman. The children need their mother for crying out loud! The did had already been done and killing the woman would not bring the man back to life.

Having spent some years in prison and having shown remorse for her action, I believe that the presidential pardon earlier granted by Tinubu was in order. This current supreme court judgement was clearly political and shouldn't be entertained by the president!

Pardon the woman please!

nairalanda1:
AM sure some obidents will be calling me agbado, and so forth (and will miss the point)

The problem with Nigerian politicans and leaders is that they donate millions to biuild this and that, and we clap for them, and they leave, and no one thinks of how what they built would be funded and maintained.

Tax revenue is very low in nigeria, inasmuch as we like to pretend it isn't. Then state tax revenue is even lower. Then the fees to use the health center would be kept low 'to help the poor' and then the health budget is always low.

That means in ten years time, the place would look abandoned and worthless.

Same thing, be it tinubu, obi, atiku, etc. Donate x amount to the project, no one thinks of the yearly running costs and how that money is to be made

Anyway, Nigerians behave like the woman and man that buys a brand new Hyundai, and expects the car to maintain and fix itself without paying for it.

The primary healthcare centre in question is a project being undertaken by the Anglican church in Enugu state. Obi only contributed towards the success of the project. The centre would be run and maintained by the Anglican church!

Kudos once again to Mr Peter Obi! He has proven himself a worthy leader!

Peter Obi has proven himself a reliable politician who has his goals clearly spelt out and who is ready to deliver quality leadership to Nigerians. He's so passionate about making positive impacts on the lives of the people.

His humility and simplicity even in abundance of wealth really need to be studied. He just entered the community unannounced and made his donation without any cameras. May God continue to bless him for us....Amen!

Btw op, it is Ihuokpara and not "Ihuobala"

missjekyll:
It does sound somehow,doesnt it? At least buy her a fanta just to show willing.

I would have done the same thing in Nigeria

You would have done the same thing in Nigeria but won't try that abroad because nobody would send you abroad. It is only here in Nigeria that women still expect men to spend on them. They still cling to older cultural practices that benefit women but only protest against those ones that favour men. That's double standard abeg