₦airaland Forum

Scash: There no biggie joor... Lots of guys might be asking her out and she just doesn't want you to see it. I have a friend that coded her fone cos of her bf, said he'l get an heart attack if he gets to read her inbox... But shez very devoted to him
So if shez actually planning to marry u... Put ur body on d ground, diaz no problem.
Its when you start suspectin shady bizness u shld worry

African mentality, so while she admits she has something good going on for her, she still gives out her number to would be chykers' for what exactly?
are the number give outs work related? and if they are, why would a client or colleague or school mate or neighbor or church group member be sending messages that will give her boyfriend heart attack?
the way girls think make me laugh, you want to keep the guy u want but at the same time give room for distractions, sooner or later you end up "confused" .
what happened to total commitment to your relationship?


obviously, men like me must be few. If i were the so called boyfriend, i will surely lead you on till your 35th birthday after which i will call off the engagement 2 days to the wedding after you must have bought your bridal gown,and make sure i stay closer to you either with your younger sister or cousin.

what arrogance!!!

werepeLeri: Stop talking like a chicken. Have you ever entered a church and you see people being forced to part with their money or the pastor puts a gun in their head and ordered them to part with their money? Your comparison of BH members to Christians is an affront to Christianity and your chicken brain will soon explode without any BH lifting a finger. Whatever religion you follow - you must be mentally dead as well, and if you pronounce yourself an atheist, you are as mentally dead as you think most Nigerians are.

crackhouse: hmm this man looks like a sadist. Just watch the first pic and u will understand.

nubian22: He losted his wife some years back

boomssey: What's hapening to this lady now can happen to any1 at anytime.there's no such thing as perfect when it comes to humans.she has put down this story jst cos she needs help not some sort of interogative lessons.

harakiri: You definitely have very good memory. Do you still remember how ESBS was announcing the "scores" every hour? I was listening to "updates" on "score reports" almost every hour. It was really bad. Those were the days of BomBom,Eke Nkwa Ofia and phucking, etc

Too bad!

njazra: U r right. Even in schools like Mapoly, Ojeere. Fed Poly Ilaro, Kwara Poly. Ire Poly, Tasued, frat boys do slaughter themselves regularly but you wont hear most of it in the news.

ismhab: ANOTHER VERSION OF BOKO HARAM.

i have no doubt boko haram will be crushed on first attempt in the south east.
i still maintain that nobody has the monopoly of violence, alone is enough to give boko haram a run for their money, let alone Vikings and the most revered great tigers (2,2)

i cant forget the reign of lumbado and chabro in a hurry, more brutal than what boko haram can fathom.

quazim: @Turbocharged:I repeat; des BH boys are neither a Mumeen nor ff d preaching of ISLAM.No where in d Quran or Hadith dat u shuld kil pple takless of innocent pple.Infact it is a BIG SIN even in war to kil Children,women,Old men talkles of innocent pple.ISLAM against d killin of pple. Be inform dat d word 'JIHAD' has been misinterpretd by many pple. All des pple cal demselfs Jihadist are not. D prophet Muhammed(S.A.W) never wage WAR against any tribe nor religious grp. Des guys are sponsored by grp of pple wit specific Agenda creating des tensions hiding under disguis of religious Crisis which is d only dey can achieve deir aim & can only be executed in d North.

rabzy01: Damaturu, capital of Yobe State presently under gun and bomb attacks. More details soon.

brito: Do u go to church? Meet your Pastor for counselling and prayers.
Its not proper to get married to a divorcee, its not scriptural. seek proper advice
before jumping in. You may regret later in your life. "LATE" is better than "TOO LATE"

moffy2: My case is a bit similar to this Story, that's why i decided to start a new thread. In my own case am a single mum.

My boyfriend left for US last year when i was 3 months pregnant. I sold my investment in the money market and one of my plots to send him abroad. He promised to get in touch as soon as he settled down, he got in touch few times and that's all.

After he left, i discovered that he took 6 pieces of my jewelries and sold them. I got to know this through the chats he had with his friend on my blackberry before he traveled.i asked him when i discovered and he couldn't deny it. My family is totally against him.

He has not been responsible for our child. I have been the one taking care of all responsibilities even before he traveled and up till now

i met this divorcee in January 2010, though i was hoping to get a single guy , but the single guy i got along the line was the father of my child who irresponsible. He filed for me last year not knowing that i was pregnant. When he sent the forms for me to fill, i refused and he was angry that i made him waste money.

i didn't really like this man because he is 20yrs older than me. I Am in my mid 30s, he loves me so much that when he head that i gave birth this year and heard what i was going through he felt bad and he still wants to marry me.

He is not based in Nigeria, and he has decided to file for me and my child, if am really interested to marry him.In the case of his children, they are based in the States and the first child has been calling to ask about my baby,because her father told her about us. She is even planning to come to Nigeria for summer and asked if she could stay with me.

Their mother has remarried since and they were divorced over 10yrs ago. He told me that he brought a woman in some years back only for the woman to dump him and bring her husband/bf in later. So he is trying to be careful again.

i still hope i will get a single guy but am scared of falling into wrong hands.
I find it hard to love this man. People tell me i will grow to love him, but my worry is, what if a single guy comes along, will i not break his heart?

Gospella: @Our Naija!There was no hint about his previous marriage. Moreover he lives in UK while the victim lived in the eastern part of Nigeria. Background check was done but maybe not properly and there was no much time for courtship since he did not stay in Nigeria. You do not need to believe the story for it to be true.

Willzkid: Farouk, OYO 4 U...bear ur papa name- Lawan

FXKing2012: Some senior police officers would face the police disciplinary panel for allegedly allowing former chairman of the House of Representatives ad hoc committee on fuel subsidy Farouk Lawan who was detained over alleged $620, 000 bribery scandals to sneak out of the police detention facility and go home.
Lawan sneaked out of the police headquarters on Thursday night while in detention with the aid of some policemen and went home. He took bath at home and ate dinner before returning to his cell. Already three policemen were being questioned over the matter.

A source said about two senior officers apart from those being investigated who were found to have a hand in the matter, will face disciplinary panel.

He said Forouk was illegally allowed to go home while in detention.

The police Special Task Force investigating the matter are yet to retrieve the bribe money.

http://dailytrust.com.ng/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=165482:farouk-top-police-officers-face-disciplinary-panel&catid=1:news&Itemid=2

PHfinest: Unfortunately, nepotism has erased the smallest trace of reasoning in some people's head.
I find myself following this gist like I followed the E.tteh saga, the H.embe saga till they all died the natural death.
How I wish F.arouk will fly to UK and get judged there afterall that is the only place justice catches Nigerian looters.

My not so common sense tells me the story goes like this:

2012:
April 18: Date of House Fuel Subsidy Report (Zenon and Synopsis Indicted)
Zenon could be guilty of this (like other companies both mentioned and not mentioned in the report)
Zenon inteligently finds out what needed to be done to remove name OR Farouk gets Zenon to play ball

April 21: Date of Delivery of First Bribe Money to Farouk Lawan ($250,000)

April 23: Date of Delivery of Second Bribe Money to Farouk Lawan ($250,000)

April 24 (early morning) Date of Delivery of Third Bribe Money to Farouk Lawan’s Aide ($100,000)
Part of the agreed amount paid. Farouk is happy while Otedola carries on with his plan not to pay the full bribe.

April 24: (late morning) Date of House Plenary Discussion on Subsidy Report (Zenon and Synopsis Delisted)
Agreed action taken

April 24: Lawan writes to Chairman of the House Committee on Financial Crimes of Otedola’s persistence to offer him bribe to influencethe outcome of the investigation
Persistence? to Offer Bribe? or Statement of Bribe Offered and Received? (My sense tells me to ignore this one)

April 24: Clerk of the committee, Mr Boniface Emenalo, writes to Lawan that Otedola offered him $100,000
Did he say he received it? Offered? or offered and received?

April 24: Lawan discloses in another letter to the House leadership that the clerk of the committee, Mr Boniface Emenalo, wrote to him that Otedola offered him $100,000
Same Question: Did he say he received it? Offered? or offered and received?

April 28: Farouk Lawan grants an Interview revealing pressures on him.
Otedola refuses to pay the remaining, Farouk threatens to divulge.

May 9: The IGP, in a letter with reference number CR:3000/IGP.SEC/STF/FHQ/ABJ/ VOL 2/309, calls Lawan’s attention to an interview he granted a national newspaper on April 28,2012 and directed, “a discreet investigation into the matter.”
May 16: Letter reference CR:3000/IGP.SEC/STF/ FHQ/ABJ/VOL 2/319, signed by Amodu, the IGP requested money exhibit, names of witnesses and other material evidence from Lawan
Police Matter! Anything can happen, I no fit talk, I avoid them as much as possible!

May 31: Lawan explains in a letter to the Inspector General of Police that the matter (bribe offer) had been referred to the relevant committee of the House for legislative actions
Police Matter! Just like me and you, Farouk no like police, prefers in-house settlement with birds of the same feather/father!

June 4: IGP, in a letter to the Speaker of the House, Honourable Aminu Tambuwal, states that a detailed criminal investigation had beenordered into the matter.
Yawa don gass, fowl ny.ash don open, ebelebe don gbuo, kasala don burst: Solution, Confuse the masses


It is that confusion my not so common sense has decided to ignore...but like I said it will die the natural death unless we find a way of sending Farouk, Otedola and Emenalo on a vacation to UK.

Shinatu: Another good one from Ecalos. You used the word 'should' but is that what happens? those who are lacking in these virtues that you have listed desire respect too, so they try to get it by other means i.e Financial manipulation/intimidation, they are the ones who complain that their wives left them shortly after they lost their jobs, the poor woman was probaly hanging around for her kids to get trained, like many of our mothers did that time.


@Ecalos,
I observed that you used the word 'help' to describe your husband washing of the plates in an earlier post,i.e 'he helpes me to.....' but did not use the same word when you mentioned the bills you pay, i.e 'I pay......', you did not say 'I help him pay......',is it that you beleive that house work is mainly your thing and if he does it he is helping you, but financial responsibility is both yours and his?


Why I ask is that, this is the general beleive in Nigeria, people are quick to let you know that if your husband does anything in the house, he is just helping you, you see working mothers with husbands with no
jobs looking for house helps/keeper to manage the home, because you are not expected to'turn your husband into a househelp because he does not have a job/money!'

I love Naija

acidtalk: I am in no where against it.
My major concern was if a woman is made to contribute financially in the running of the home won't she one day start putting up unwarranted ego and attitude? But to be honest, I am impressed with what I have read so far and even willing to learn more as this is certainly going to help young men and women know how to handle financial expences and still remain united in their respective homes.

ur post is the reason why most Nigerians abroad that spent the better part of their lives there don't do well with Nigerian wives.
i find it appalling when i see peeps that have lived abroad for donkey years coming home to take these local champions, the mentalities are light years ahead, and it is a fact.

look at the expose written by that poster that stays abroad, there is a mutual balance in their marriage and i don't need a counselor to tell me their marriage is successful.

Most Nigerian women live in a world of their own.

if they are not competing with Tv, they are competing with magazines, or colleagues or neighbors, or relatives, it is a luxury for most of them to carve a niche for themselves in their marriage, there is always an external influence that the husband has to deal with and that is the warfare, most Nigerian women call marriage.

the lucky ones that got enlightened or mingled with exposed peeps in and outside the country might be different but not when the archaic influence of their parents still has a role to play. they still fall back to the norm.

i was forced to agree with acid talk completely except the point where he misconstrued "loyalty" for "disrespect".
in my presence, a mother inlaw has slapped a husband and father of 39yrs and the man insisted the inlaw must leave the house that day.

i ended up separating the wife and and the husband because the woman insisted that the mother will not leave, temerity sought from the fact that she paid the rent that year, can you imagine?
meanwhile her able bodied husband has received a cataclysmic, thunderous, mazanbula from the overzealous inlaw. all she advocated was " i will talk to my mum" in the face of catastrophe
yet she had no issues enjoying the years the husband was paying the rent.

the guy was s!lly to ask her to pay the rent because he felt the woman was having much money where he shoulders the whole responsibilities, now see what that move has resulted.

if you want to know how people live in Nigeria, come to Nigeria, don't sit behind a PC to assume.
IMHO, if you share responsibilities with your wife, her loyalty is gone with it.
read the comments of most ladies here and get a picture of what im saying.

quote author=Ecalos]

Nigeria or no Nigeria the same concept applies and thats the point I am trying to drive across...I lived in Nigeria for 24 years before moving to the States...My parents have been married for 28 years and what i just described to you is how my parents have been sharing their resources. They still live in Nigeria and still do the same.. There are times where my dad made more and he contributed more and times where my mum made so much more and contributed more than my dad did..At this present moment, my mum makes more than my dad and they still share resources equitably. They both shared in paying school fees and all that. That has and will never stop my mum from respecting my dad because he sure is a man of integrity who treats her right and never let his ego get the best of him..My dad still washes dishes, he still cooks for my mum and all that so Nigeria or no Nigeria, the same rule and concept applies

kinnkw: Women will screw your life when they are breadwinners. But that is different from what we are saying here.
The topic is sharing/ contributing a percentage of what each person makes to run the home.
This women work for crying out loud, don't argue that right?
Now I affore that she should put part of her earnings it into the family, if you are against it then please tell us what she should do with the money she earns?

jp philips:

picture this scenario, a former colleague was "contributing" to run their home, it happens that the woman was the one that bought both cars they use, out of the woman's cavalier, she knocked her engine down and told the husband to replace not the engine but the car, the guy said he has to save and till the new car arrived,
the guy never used his car again. she monopolized the husband's car simply because she bought it.
haven't you seen where they pay rent and flood the house with useless relatives while you sit helpless,
guy!! just count yourself lucky for the wife you have and stop showing that alligator muscles.
did i mention that the guy was building the house while the woman was buying the cars?

the moment a Nigerian woman feeds you in Nigeria, "YOU ARE FINISHED"
leave Nairaland internet warriors alone, 80% of the good tales you read here are lies.
please don't tell me its a peculiar case, interview most women you know and hear what majority has to say.

can you imagine Nigerian ladies that find it difficult to come out of their pocket as spinsters will automatically become bread winners with ease? if any man puts a Nigerian woman in that position in marriage where she fends for the family, You will see what Jesus saw in the hands of the jews.

Piedpiper: Hmm, seems I get a pass mark hear as I do all but the pollen filters .
Evidence the items on my Sequioa preorder thread !

Ecalos: We decided before we got married that responsibilities were going to be shared. We were both on the same page with our ideas on finances and that just worked out well for us. Neither of us had that mentality that he had to be the sole provider and i the sole house keeper.

First of all, we both make similar incomes but his is slightly higher than mine since he works overtime a lot and I dont. I prepared a financial schedule for us and on the spreadsheet, i listed our incomes and then broke down all the bills we will have to pay every month. Based on both our earnings, we shared how best we will allocate resources to those bills, how much goes into savings and investments, how much goes into entertainment (datenight, lunch dates etc) and so on. At the end of it all, what worked best for us is as follows:

I pay the internet bill, the netflix bill and my phone bill while he takes care of our rent, our electricity and gas, our auto insurance and some others. We save a certain percentage after paying all these bills and since the bills I take care of are not that many, the savings percentage comes from my check and goes into our joint account and the rest is shared as follows: we both put a certain percentage to our joint checking which takes care of gas, groceries and household items and the rest goes to both our personal checkings which we use for lunch outings with coworkers, manicures, clothing, surprise gifts and so on.

Around the house, I do most of the cooking and he helps me wash the dishes after I have prepared him a wonderful meal. I hate vacuuming but he loves doing that so he vacuums while I dust and arrange all furniture and I wash the bathroom since I love washing bathrooms.

luckgames: Like I told you Nigerian Woman or foreign
I am doing OK for myself, so stop playing
I am a little bit crazy Nigerian that will not any person F??K with me
money or no money

ayox2003: If provision for the family is what makes a woman respect her husband, it clearly shows that the OP is decades away from marriage. What a view?! If you want your woman to respect you, give her room to explore her talents and enterprise, okay?
Just make sure you read Communication, Sex and Money by Edwin Lewis before you get married.

luckgames: Sorry Bro
I am well to do on my own
I have a secure job and things the will always bring me money
She run a small business , I have made more money than her in the past
I pretty well can tell any middle class woman to F off if she fool with me.
And replace her

luckgames: Kid
You can not do that
The goal here is not to insult you
You talk like we are in the 1960 or 1970
I am very bless, the lord is good to me
So I am not a $5 man
My wife make more money than me now
Yes but I have make lot more than her in the past

luckgames: Kid
You can not do that
The goal here is not to insult you
You talk like we are in the 1960 or 1970
I am very bless, the lord is good to me
So I am not a $5 man
My wife make more money than me now
Yes but I have make lot more than her in the past

justwise: Not all, i can't see why you are trying hard to make fun of her, all i see is somebody having issues with himself.

Where did she mention that she lives in Australia?

Nigeria does not have a proper aviation firefighting department so I do not expect you to know what that is. My cousin's husband works for a aviation fire service in australia and I'm sure that they (Australian's) would not call it so if aviation fire does not exist.

lol, ur sweet heart believes that referring to a (cousin's husband)career is an authority to disprove facts

lekzyn: Yeaaaaa,I have been realy waiting for this day to come and it is. Kaduna christain youths well done, i LOVE Your action today keep it up. ONE EYE FOR TWO EYES