₦airaland Forum

Some people think that its alright for women to act daft and stupid and blame guys who take advantage of their stupidity. As long as we have women who keep telling the girls that its alright for them to be stupid, there will be boys to take advantage of them.

Rather than telling them them what they have done stupidly, you all go out and tell the man (as long as he is Nigerian) that he is a devil. If someone knows that there are burglars on the prowl and leaves his door open, would you not say he was foolish to have left his doors open in the knowledge that burglars are on the prowl?

queenTG:
JUSTBAD U AGAIN I THINK U DONT KNOW WHAT UR GUYS CAN DO. LET ME TELL WHAT NIJI GUY DID TO MY FREIND, AFTER 4 YEARS LEFT THE GIRL TO NIJI HE SOPPOSE TO STAY FOR 1MTH BUT DID MOOR 5 GOOD MTH LET THE GIRL SEND HIM MONEY COSE THIS COSE THAT AND IN THE END THE MONEY WAS USED TO MARRY NIJI GIRL OVER THERE SOMEONE HOW CARE FOR U U WILL TREAT THAT PERSON THAT WAY THEN U ARE BEN LADIN'S BROS WHY DON' WANNA UNDERSTAND ARE U HAOUSA MAN ,

MumuTG,

I will lay it down for you. If you are so stupid that any man can decieve you with claims of love, you probably deserve what you get.
Is there no man in your country? Why dont you marry men from your country if Nigerian men are so bad?

Both parties are to blame jare.

Why should I not blame the woman?

@poster, what a wonderful thing it is to fall in love. . . enjoy it

na today?

dayokanu:
That is the dress code in the corporate world. Have you seen execs with Baggy jeans and singlets or why does Koffi Annan wear suit and not wrapper from Kente Material?

Who defines the dress code for which corporate world?

Is there no corporate world inparts of the world where they are mainly dressed in their tarditional attires?

KB1:
Davidif and JustGood, shut your lying an or simple in-informed asses up. I don't know who in the hell you think your successfully fooling around hear, but I'm getting a good laugh out of your buffoonery non the less.

I know right now here in the US many Nigerian men and women who aren't married to their child's other parent. Now some were married when the child was born, though it wasn't long after that the DIVORCE came, mostly upon the insistence of the mother do to the father's cheating around on her. Statistics show that here in the US marriage within the Nigerian community and overall African community at large is rising rapidly to within overall National averages.

Now as for how the situation in Nigeria stands, well I remember seeing on Nigeriaworld.com a report printed last year talking about how divorce in Nigeria was rapidly becoming a more common occurrence, especially in the Southern part of the nation, though there were yet to be adapted any sound statistics in the nation to show just how rapidly it was becoming an common occurrence.

And as for out of wedlock births; perhaps you should google up "Nigerian child birthing depots" and see what comes up. In Nigeria on many occasions birthing depots where young girls just sit around and get paid to have babies for what whatever reasons have been shut down by the police. Take a trip to any major city in Nigeria and see the loads of young kids who just roam the the streets parentless and aimlessly; you telling me these kids parents were or are married when they were conceived? I highly doubt it.

Most of them are the product of one night stands and young girls who got knocked up by some Hot customer, and simply dumped their child off on the streets. All over Lagos, Benin City, Port Harcourt, Enugu and even various location throughout Abuja, it was an uncommon thing to see street whores wondering about pregnant. You fools are only fooling your damn selves, in a simply attempt to get one up on somebody, impress yourselves by painting falsified rosy pictures of a very present problematic situation.

KB has spoken, holla back if you've got something sensible to comment about it.

The fact that you are from a dysfunctional background and are surrounded by dysfunctional people does not make everyone else dysfunctional.

JustGood:
We dont have electricity anyway. . .
so why dont we just scrap the poribund outfit and save the billions being spent on it and its impactless employees

where the friggin modify button?

I want to change the above to moribund. . .

The fact that you're in contact with a girl back home says a lot. You're not giving your relationship what you should be giving it. . . you wont be the first, neither will you be the last who does this with oyinbo girls. We are completely different culturally and no amount of love can paper over certain differences when friction arise in marriage.

Nothing wey person no go hear from these foreign women.

You married on the spur of the moment?  

haba. . .

small time dem go say the guy no treat dem right. How guy go treat you right when he no marry you right?

You are turning gay. . .

Thats how they start and then they turn round to say they were born that way.

biina:
A lot of girls only think about what they need or want in a relationship or the kind of guy they desire. They don't spend enough time contemplating what such a guy would want or need, and consequently don't have enough to offer such that the guy considers them for the long haul. I always advice my single female friends that knowing what you want in a man is half of the solution, the other half is making sure you have what he wants as well. Relationships are two-way streets, be prepared to bring something to the table.

The attitude of I don't need a man does not help. Do not point the gun if you have no intentions of shooting. Everyone likes a relationship in which they are needed. We are all born into the world as a single, and could probably survive without the opposite sex, but it is also well known that the right partner makes you a better being. If either does not need the other, then there is much less incentive to put ones best effort into the relationship. There is no shame (for either gender) in being dependent on your spouse/partner. It does not say you couldn't make it on your own, but rather that having that person take care of it makes you better person. My mathematical view of marriage is that 1+1 =1 spiritually, and 1+1 > 2 physically and materially.

Some big girls are still single from no fault of theirs, but just for the simple fact that that is the card life has dealt them

Very well said indeed.

4 Play:
Women and this their first love syndrome. Reality is, the affection she has for the first love is based on fantasy.

But she wont know it until they both REALLY get together

We dont have electricity anyway. . .
so why dont we just scrap the poribund outfit and save the billions being spent on it and its impactless employees

strangleyo:
So if its a white created problem why are we suffering? Are we that DUMB to allow whites to rule over us without even coming to Africa.

The answer to your question is YES.

Some among us will sell us for anything. We should have positioned ourselves to take advantage of this current recession but we were stupidly following everything such that when the ones we follow enter a pit, we enter with them.

Pathetic

Where are the parents to the boys and girls?

So much mouth running here with half (even quarter) of a story. The woman has left without telling exactly what she did to the man.

I have never been violent in my life but there are certain things that will produce evil in any humn being. The guy has absolutely no right to slap his wife but the wife has not told us EXACTLY what happened before the slaps

May God spare our lives to see what becomes of most of us

tiffcisco:
No I have lived in South Africa before, but my fiance will never live there. He only goes occationally for business. I dont think I will have a problem living in Nigeria. I love west African and of all my friends there i have never heard such nonsense of women staying with an abusive husband. All my friends (who are west african and married) have wonderful husband who love them and treat them with respect. I had one friend (who is like a sister to me) who did marry and later found that it was a mistake this man abused her, and while it is shameful in Ghana to divorce she did! I (and her family) totally support her and I'd rather have my sister be alive and divorced than miserable and later dead for trying to stick it out with a man who doesnt love her. And no, any man who would beat his wife doesnt love her. She is not his child, and he should not be slapping her. I have had wonderful examples of marriage in my family, but I have friends who were not so lucky. My best friend had a horrible father who beat her mother and her sisters all the time. She has told me the sadest stories. Being 13 years old and holding her mother in her arms as she was bleeding from her ears and worse. Finally the lady got the stregth to leave, but it wasnt easy. Shis is now doing better, but i wouldnt want to see this happen to this woman or anyone else,

Now I understand why you are that way. Many girls who have seen such violence or experienced traumatic upbringings have that same way of thinking. . .I cant blame you

I still would prefer the woman to come and tell it ALL. The husband who has never been violent just suddenly became a beast Please spare me!

@tiffcisco, I take it when you said you are going to live in Afriaca, you were refering to South Africa.

With your attitude, you're better off away from Nigeria because you will leave in disappointment and go away slandering us.

I pray that those who are unmarried here dont get the wrong things from the wrong people and turn their future family lives into miseries.

Some would rather have every woman single and every man playing around with them than to have stable family units  

Have you ever heard of British comedy? Its based on nothing but insulting other people, races and nationalities.

Go to predominantly white places and REALLY mix with them to understand that its a human thing.

Isn't most people here have accepted that the man is a brute simply becos the wife said something to us. If the man is a brute, why should she stay with him? She should move out fast!

The fact that the woman is still trying to find some advise is enough to tell me that the man was not a brute and something must have happened that the woman has not spilled yet.

@david, its not about the violence. That's unacceptable

Its about the "if it was in America, bla bla bla. . ."

[quote author=~Sauron~ link=topic=254174.msg3651718#msg3651718 date=1238169674]In AFRICA, that is how it works. . . . .
It's a tad folly when people say in America reh reh reh or blah blah blah woulda happened.
This is AFRICA. Live with it.[/quote]Thank you

Many of these people just want us to jump in every boat that has America written on it

From what I have read here, it's better for most on here to stay single than to get married. You can even have children without getting married and going through all the trouble of the divorce.

I still find it hard to believe the story. If the guy was so good that wanted to marry him, he could not have been a brute. If he is a brute and you married him, then you deserve what you got.

If however he is not a brute, there's something you're not telling anyone here.

A man does not just slap his wife because she said he should get in the shower/bath.

My wife tells me that on any saturday that I dont go out cos I wont have a shower till very late. I have never considered getting angry over it. . . I get in the shower when I'm ready and I leave her to keep reminding me.

This woman should tell a complete picture rather than demonising her husband because she wants some online sympathy.

KnowAll:
I think Virginity for some women could easily lead to ignorance, and I beleive this is a case of complete and utter ignorance and stupidity. I think there is a tedency for jane to see the act commited as keeping it within the family and therby reserving her supposed woman of virtue status. In her confused mind set she is at least not doing it with strangers or people she dosent know. But the fact is the act is wrong but for her ignorance she cannot fathom why it is wrong. I will suggets a remedy for her she should go find herself a boy friend then she will be able to come to terms of the gravity of her offence and probably change for good. I think she might also come to realise her husband's brother is just taking advantage of her confuse and disorientated state of mind.

Please tell me you are having a laugh here

Women need to understand that the make up of man is such that he wants to know that he has authority and he doesn't like to be made to feel unimportant or to feel that he has no authority.

Very interesting.

No man has a right to hit a woman. . . in fact, nobody has a right to assault any other person.

However, I am absolutely certain that this story is incomplete. The guy doesn't seem to have a history of violence so, for him to react violently, something more serious than is being revealed here must have pushed him.

This one na real mumu o

You get oyinbo woman wey be "good wife" and you no happy. She is actually a rare exception for an oyinbo woman. I was expecting you to land the blow about how she goes partying and getting drunk with her friends, which is what most others like her would do.

Ol boy, make you leave am and see whether another man no go thank God say him get the woman.

Married man wey dey go out every weekend. . . wonders shall never end.
Whence cometh these irresponsible men?

So, na the one wey get prostitution degree you dey find.

ENGLISH NAMES
If you have your child on the motorway, call him/her Highway.
If you have your child at home, its Homer
If you have your child in Brooklyn, it's Brooklyn
If you have your child in Ikeja, its Ikeja
If you fancy your neighbour who is a caterer, you call your child Caterer
If you fancy a neighbouring plumber, call your child Plummer
If you hit a stone on the day you're having your child, call the child Stone
If you have strong connections to a garden, call your child Gardener

Get the drift?

The fact that this discussion is taking place is enough evidence of their abnormality.