₦airaland Forum

johnmattew:
the dog fine pass the owner

simplexvi:
any thing that happens, happen for a reason

SocialJustice:
Nice. More food items should be banned and produced locally especially wheat.

aylive02:
it doesn't answer the question.
in a simple sentence, I repeat, what did he achieve? we're not taking about skills here.

aylive02:
what did he achieve?

Orestino:
Patients whey we no see na audio !

efighter:
Anyone that says Abba Kyari is dangerous should not be taken serious. Such an idiot is a miscreant nincompoop.

longetivity:
stay at home

Fastestmanalive:
Stay at home, stay at home they won't hear

Everyone please stay at home ooo

It's for your own safety

Esanboy111:
Mikel na player? Mtcheew abeg shift

tiredoflife:
.
Oga u need to be yahoo to bring oyinbo down
Its called dating format

Donhezzy:
I immediately dropped my books and was curious to know were she was heading to. So I followed er, she was far ahead of me and I didn't want to run after er so dat I won't look needy or desperate like a wu33y a77 nigga

God so good she stopped along d hallway and decided to go read under one of the trees, on knowing I went back to take some of the vital things from my bag so as to prevent stories dat touch ( I hope u know wat I meant, if u don't niether do I ) well i gave my bag to a friend of mine to keep an eye on it.

so I decided to go get a table water to cool my system( why rush a meal dats der for the taking) and perhaps I was really thirsty. So I bought d water and took a note wit me and off I went

I finally got to were she was, sat close to er and brought out d table water n started drinking. Wen I was done I relaxed and viewed d nice serene environment b4 I opened my note, pretending like i was reading wereas i was flipping tru d pages
NB : I didn't even look at er for a sec during dose while, well u may ask y, well heres the reason one
1) I didn't want er to get d memo dat I chased er all d way from d class down here bcuz i wanted to collect er digit in which she will read as ( here comes anoda peacock on heat can't just do wit anything under skirt. probably anoda one of dose nice wu33y average guyz ) , bottom line, neva let a gurl know ur true intentions towards er

2) sendless; make er less important trust me ladies love attention alot especially d hot Chic's and they get annoyed easily n obsessed wen a guy do d opposite
why don't u DARE to be DIFFERENT

So I was busy reading my note while she was well God knows wat she was doing i neva cared to know. she got bored reading and went on doing all sort of things to get my attention which I didn't budge. wen she noticed I wasn't getting any of it, she took er handbag brought out er phone and started pressing while she sheepishly stare at me wit one side of d eyes ( sleek move). Lol, dis continued for several minutes and i neva gave a flinch nor did i look at er for a sec. in my mind i was just laughing


Wen i saw all sort of stunt she was pulling trying to get my attention. I den brought out my phone n took a grimpse look at d time b4 i came to reality dat if i dont strike a convo sooner rather later, I'm going to end up not engrossing n spuring entangling fun out of er boring life. i quickly took a grimpse look at er n found out she was having hard time understanding a course cuz she was just staring at d book like it wants to choke d hell outa er. On seeing this i decided to strike a convo


Me: Are those words in ur book written in flames or cud my eyes be deceiving me? ( said it putting on a serious face)

She: *smiled*....I don't get


Me: ur head is oozing out of smoke, now I'm beginning to worry this tree might just catch fire

She: *laughed*....I'm just finding hard time wit dis course(phy301) ooo its giving me tough time


Me: is dat y u pondering urself over it, lucky 4 u I happen to know it

She: Omg! really?


Me: easy gurl yeah, buh u should know my service ain't free

Her: hmmm...so wats it for me den


Me: well heres not the time and place to discuss dat..........(took er phone, input my hotline n told er to call me to find out. stood up n told er I've gtg)

Her: oh so quick? btw wic side are u heading to cuz I'm already tired of reading let's just go togeda


Me: you tired just now, hmm i might just change my mind about d tutor stuff, how I'm I sure u not going to fall in love wit me d instance we start n 4get u came to learn
(smiled at er) inshort I'm not tutoring u again don't wanna break dose tiny little heart of urs n make u make u still fail ur exam

Her: (laughing so hard, she was stunned)..., imma big gurl n besides I don't fall dat easy.....let's go joor ( drag my hands and was forcing me to go)


Me: I must warn u my heart is too big for one girl too carry oo, if u fall for me its at ur own risk...btw I don't think u can handle the heat

Her: *laughing hard*.....sha be feeling urself by d way I ve a boyfriend


(in my mind i was like, so dis gal thinks she can throw me off balance wit dis word, well she gat to do beta dan dat to get me. only if she knew wat she has just done.. using er own words to hurt herself)
Me: wait! did she just try to play a fast one on me (i did it as if I was talking to myself wit a low tone), well u ve do beta Dan dat to get me

She: for real I have a bf n I love him dearly


Me: oh poor guy! It wud ve bin beta if u dint meet me cuz from now henceforth he's gonna be in a very long queue

She: Lol, wat makes u think I'm gonna leave my bf more or less for u....... I love him ok


Me: *laughed out* why is ur conscience judging u already, lol, no nid to feel guilty cuz I'm not about taking u away from him, perphaps i don't want to break d poor guy tinys heart n besides I don't ve a thing for dark gurls, u might just go staining me soft skin (mind u she is chocolate, got dat perfect blend of color admonished by nature. oh! forgot to mention shes a 9ner...hmm)

Her: see ur head, Do u know thousands of people ( guyz most especially) dat drool over my color I guess u dont know....do u know anything at all self


Me: Lol wat do u expect to hear from dose guyz dats tryna impress u..... of course they would go. waxing lyrically how blooming, glooming n enchanting ur skin is. they wouldn't wanna tell u d truth would they??

Her: lol, I receive compliment from girls also if u don't know

Me: so she's a lesby! well let me see ( I looked at er intensively like a doc inspecting one of his patients)
for a start er height is not bad for er body 5.4ft tall (I looked at er again n noticed she was putting on shoes)
oh! u think u can deceive me wit dose shoes abi OK I think 4.5 wud suffice.

She:arrrrrrh! I'm I dat short haba ( she was eager to hear the full analysis about er)

Me: she's got nice lips tho buh aint sure she knows how to use em... n d worst case scenario is, shes a lesby 4 dat mata, too bad cuz I've totally lost interest before she even get d chance to impress

Her: *cant help buh burst out wit laughter* so its me u analysed like dis abi, iyaf do b4 u finish me... wait!, oooo can't bliv ive bin talking to u all dis while and I dont know ur name.
(I guess she joltted back to reality n obviously dis word kept jolting tru er mind, ''can't bliv I'm so free n laughing my ass out wit a guy i dont even know his name''. yeah if I hapn to be d one I wudnt think more or less )


Me: oh so u can go n give it to one baba so u both can go saying my name at night abi......as if wooing me is not enuf buh still u want to use love portion on me. rababa, I'm covered wit da blawd
Arrrh! no way I'm telling u my name

Her:* laughing so hard to the extent she almost fell my bag from me hand...i kinda got embarrassed cuz dis time around, it was loud n obvious. I was like so dis same gurl forming hush n posh not quite long can laugh dis hard in public without giving a damn if anyone is watching er*

Her:U wish.... Pls just tell me ur name b4 u start to feel urself. hmm dont tell me u re dat scared to tell me, dont worry i wont bite.


Me: Nah, I don't want u go saying my name at night while u go hugging ur pillow wishing I was der......i wouldnt want d whole neighbourhood to know my name b4 I get to introduce myself

She:* cracked up big time*.....so wat should I do for u to tell me ur name


Me: why don't u call to find out buh 1st uve gat to impress me For me to pick d call n so far u havent impressed me ....beta start to show me wat u re good at. u can sing nice song for me or rather still dance, let me see if u even know how to use dose gift of urz or dey re just dormant..( brought out my phone n pretend as if i was looking at d time) ur time start now n u got just 10sec

She: u know i cant do dose things u asked of along d road ppl will get to stare at me n btw why don't u just tell me joor it s not a big deal (said it wit a sexy baby voice)

Me: oh dear u havent got to impressed me yet, i gave u d chance to impress me n u dint. oh! well, n besides Ive got alota admirer, u neva can tell if one of dem is keeping tabs on me ryt now, surely don't want any1 to go stalking me on social media (i smiled at er in an annoying way)

She: lol,for ur mind u be James . u ain't even happy I'm curious to know ur name ( she didn't bliv dat a guy can turn a sexy living creature like er down)

Me: ( already out of d school walls) u know wat dear, if u really curious to know my name y don't u call to find out.....* board a bike and took off*


To be continued


P.S: I brought out my life long experience wit em so dat most of u guyz can learn from my experience cuz it pains me to see my fellow niggas run after em ladies go doing every of der biddings just to impress dem to d extent not having a life of der own and get friendzone or rather still turned into a maga/mugu..... some guys really sucks at initiating a convo......it is a disease wen u suck n don't know u suck wit gurls well I just hope ya'll can obviously learn from my experience

brandon180:
Guys pls rate this chat..
She hasn't replied since yesterday..
However I feel I should have played d mystery card a little bit longer..
What do you think?
And another problem I have is I can come up with a perfect opener..and then after she replies usually in a positive manner..I usually don't know how to continue..
Like questions to ask et al.

TheAfricaQueen:
I hope you men realise that 99% of women do not reach orgasm by penetration? Those screams and moans you hear while pounding away are because she is in pain or she wants you to finish up quickly because she is not enjoying it.

The tongue however is a fantastic tool to get a woman to orgasm in less than 10minutes, thank me later.

egopersonified:
You just reminded me of when I threw dirty water at my landlady's goats while I was in school, not knowing that she was outside. She started complaining bitterly and I told her I was sorry. She said I shouldn't tell her sorry, that I should tell the goats sorry. I started telling goats, sorry, other students came out of their rooms and were telling goats, sorry. It was so funny.