₦airaland Forum

GoTV:
As a born again Christian who is meant to speak the truth at all times, i think this amoketun issue is being hypocritically blown out of proportion to expand hatred for other tribes especially the Fulanis. Why must we Christians be the brain behind the vast support for Amotekun when the Nigerian constitution is clear about the roles of the armed forces and police in the security of the country? Why must we form an ethnic militia to target fellow Nigerians when the constitution guarantees freedom of movement and doing business nationwide as long as we are Nigerians? What we fail to realize is that the south east cheering on Amotekun sees its as a synonym for their biafra agitations and they will rather support anything that will disband the relative peace and unity of Nigeria. The IPOB sympathizers will be the one to cry wolf when Amotekun starts targeting their tribesmen who commits various crimes in the south west. MURIC recently condemned the killing of a CAN pastor and sympathized with we Christians, how many Christians will condemn the killing of an imam or Muslims? Instead we rejoice when tragedy strikes them forgetting we are all humans before religion. Instead of emulating our Muslim brothers who have remained silent on this issue of Amotekun, we Christians are disturbing the cyberspace with hypocritical comments. Amotekun will never see the light of the day as long as we remain one Nigeria. It's a bad policy and a tribalistic security outfit aimed at persecuting other Nigerians. On behalf of we Christians, i condemn Amotekun. Let's learn to live in peace and harmony

Fool either you don't know what christianity is or you are a fool

The Daura du llard will not like this

E pain am. Fulani bigot

TallPck1:
Wow, this movie is getting interesting.


Waiting for Myetti Allah/Muric....

Waiting for Mallami.....


Waiting for FG.....


Waiting for Tinubu.....


Let me get my pop corn!


I've this mifi MTN 4G network unlocked to work with all sim except smile.
Lagos call. +234 815 532 5936

after this your ranting against the owners of Nigeria, you still went ahead to put your contact details. Oga go get small sense

E685:
My wife and I have been together for 8 years now, married for 5. I am 33 and she is 30. We now have our first child, a son who is just turning 1. He is everything to both of us. Before our son, our relationship was strong, although to be honest I’ve always been frustrated with my wife’s way of handling issues. I’m the kind of person who is very hard to get angry, I hear people out, and I talk out my issues. I listen to all sides and I think logically before emotionally. I seek therapy when I’m stuck. My wife is the opposite. She reacts with emotions first. She is very quick to be offended by anything. She will shut down and refuse to communicate until she has had time to process. I do all of the work resolving issues we have. I sometimes wonder if I ever stop taking the high road and work through our issues, if anything would ever resolve itself. So that being said, conflict management aside, we are happy. We are passionate, have similar interests, and make each other laugh.

Then there’s my mother. Where to begin. My mother, while seen as incredibly loving and generous to many people, is also a person who has been shut out of so many relationships in her life that I really just feel bad. My father and her are divorced. She has a genuine phobia of being left out - of gatherings, of relationships, of family. She is extremely smart and knows how to manipulate people into doing what she wants. She also widely seen as a “difficult” person. She is difficult in that she finds great offense to issues many people would not notice or care about. If she feels wronged, she will overwhelm the person who wronged her with incessant questions trying to make them feel her side until they cave in. In her closest relationships, her absolute need for the show of love and inclusion and validation cause the very people she is trying to reel closer in to push her away, a self fulfilling prophecy. My Mom, while I love her, is her own worst enemy.

Needless to say, these two, my wife and my mother, clash. At first they liked each other. The very first issue involved our wedding planning. My wife had a very clear plan for the guest list, and my mom asked for a number of her friends to be included on the list. My wife did not want that, got immediately upset and the situation blew out of control. My mom called me nonstop asking why my wife could be so cold, unwilling to see her side, or give in even an inch. My wife felt my Mom was making the wedding all about her, and could not believe she was called cold. She was “done”. My mom wasn’t paying for a cent of the wedding either so this was another offense. In the end I brokered a compromise, much to the dismay of both women. Each held the grudge for a long time.

Occasionally my mother would do something that my wife disliked, and my wife would be pissed at me for not standing up for her. Admittedly I had never stood up to my mother, I always took the time to listen to her side and find reason behind her otherwise inflammatory ways. My wife and mother had a falling out right before the wedding, and forced me to choose sides. I struggled as I found both of them to be at fault. I chose my wife and my mother hated it. Ever since, basically anything that my mother says or does, whether good or not, offends my wife. Even the most genuine attempts by my mother to reach out to my wife are smacked down. My wife has never made any effort to release the past resentment. Over the years my mother has attempted to take the high road, only to be barely acknowledged by my wife. I have always pleaded with my wife to at least pretend to like my mother. She did a bad job of pretending because my mother would always call me and ask why my wife appears to never care or never let go of past feelings. So both saw through each other, my mother would continue to act happy and loving, while my wife never would.

Anyway now our son came into the picture. He is amazing and being the first grandchild on both sides, the grandparents want to be around him every chance they can get. My mother visit every weekend. I told my wife we have to let her do this. My wife dreaded this. I told my mother that one of the weekends, we wanted her to visit on a Sunday (staying over till Monday morning) instead of a Saturday because we had plans that Saturday. In actuality the day was a birthday celebration for my father in law, being held at her parents house. She just didn’t want my mother involved in everything so she put her foot down. My mother wouldn’t take no for an answer and pulled it out of me what we were doing that day. Well she took great offense to the fact that she was not automatically invited, and couldn’t believe how cold, unChristian, and I loving my wife and her family were.

This stuff affects me greatly so of course I share with my wife, and she exclaims she is done with my mother. No longer wants to be nice or pretend, she is tired of how much my mother always wants it all to be her way and then throws out insulting and hurtful words about my wife to get her way. I get messages from my moms friends telling me how I need to see things my moms way, they would never exclude their mother this way, and that my wife is causing all of this.

And so here we are. I saw my mother the next day, and my wife removed herself from the situation by staying out for the day. It was incredibly uncomfortable. I told my mother how mad I was at her for always being so difficult and never just letting it go. I told her my real feelings about how I wished she could stop needing such inclusion and love. Her response was that she is justified in wanting to be included in everything, and that my wife has never shown her any love or effort and it was obvious, so what could she possibly do? I told her my wife is willing to work on this, perhaps in professional therapy. But in reality my wife wants no part of that and has no desire to mend anything anymore. I think she resents me for trying to mend things.

So what do I do? I’m frustrated with my mom for being difficult, always needing more and never letting things go, and saying inflammatory things when she doesn’t get her way. But I see that all she’s ever wanted was peace and love, and my wife never gave her that. I’m frustrated with my wife for getting so easily offended at everything my mother says or does, and I wish she could make any effort to see the other side and let go of such a grudge. My mother is definitely strong willed and manipulative but I think there is love there if only we could work through it. My wife is extremely assertive and refuses to let anyone wrong her twice. Both think the other has always been dead wrong, the entirety of the blame, and will never change. My wife is ok never seeing my mother again, yet my mother says she wants to let bygones be bygones and attempt to work through it.

What should I do? Forever stuck in the middle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Oga, I am not in your family, but I strongly believe that the main reason that you can not do anything is because their is no one in your wife's family who you can report her to. Most women like this have zero regards foir their own family. If not that, what kind of woman will disrespect another woman that can pass for her own mother.?

Vicyace:
Bros,

In all honesty, you are soft, way too soft. Although you are reasonable, it's important to be decisive and put everyone in their place.

You have been able to thoroughly understand both your mum and your wife. You have solved the puzzle halfway. Now, you have to take some rigid decisions. You have been flexible enough and it's obviously not yielding any positive results. You mum still acts the way she always does, your wife still plays you emotionally and dictates how she wants things to run.

As the head of the family, take a stand. Call a meeting between both families. Before doing this, have another discussion with your mum and your wife separately. This time, let them know you are not having anymore bullshit from none of them. Tell them, henceforth, things are going to be done your own way as the head of the family. Tell them loving each other or at least pretending to love each other is non negotiable. Your mum should have access to her grandson just as your in-laws do.

The meeting between both families should go a long way in resolving these differences. Your wife's parents also have a lot to do in talking sense to your wife. If they want you to have peace, then they should plead with your wife to make peace with your mum.

Pray to God for guidance and remember to take a stand. Show a different and a much more manly and decisive side of you and watch both of them behave.

Women like that have zero regards for their own family

E685:
My wife and I have been together for 8 years now, married for 5. I am 33 and she is 30. We now have our first child, a son who is just turning 1. He is everything to both of us. Before our son, our relationship was strong, although to be honest I’ve always been frustrated with my wife’s way of handling issues. I’m the kind of person who is very hard to get angry, I hear people out, and I talk out my issues. I listen to all sides and I think logically before emotionally. I seek therapy when I’m stuck. My wife is the opposite. She reacts with emotions first. She is very quick to be offended by anything. She will shut down and refuse to communicate until she has had time to process. I do all of the work resolving issues we have. I sometimes wonder if I ever stop taking the high road and work through our issues, if anything would ever resolve itself. So that being said, conflict management aside, we are happy. We are passionate, have similar interests, and make each other laugh.

Then there’s my mother. Where to begin. My mother, while seen as incredibly loving and generous to many people, is also a person who has been shut out of so many relationships in her life that I really just feel bad. My father and her are divorced. She has a genuine phobia of being left out - of gatherings, of relationships, of family. She is extremely smart and knows how to manipulate people into doing what she wants. She also widely seen as a “difficult” person. She is difficult in that she finds great offense to issues many people would not notice or care about. If she feels wronged, she will overwhelm the person who wronged her with incessant questions trying to make them feel her side until they cave in. In her closest relationships, her absolute need for the show of love and inclusion and validation cause the very people she is trying to reel closer in to push her away, a self fulfilling prophecy. My Mom, while I love her, is her own worst enemy.

Needless to say, these two, my wife and my mother, clash. At first they liked each other. The very first issue involved our wedding planning. My wife had a very clear plan for the guest list, and my mom asked for a number of her friends to be included on the list. My wife did not want that, got immediately upset and the situation blew out of control. My mom called me nonstop asking why my wife could be so cold, unwilling to see her side, or give in even an inch. My wife felt my Mom was making the wedding all about her, and could not believe she was called cold. She was “done”. My mom wasn’t paying for a cent of the wedding either so this was another offense. In the end I brokered a compromise, much to the dismay of both women. Each held the grudge for a long time.

Occasionally my mother would do something that my wife disliked, and my wife would be pissed at me for not standing up for her. Admittedly I had never stood up to my mother, I always took the time to listen to her side and find reason behind her otherwise inflammatory ways. My wife and mother had a falling out right before the wedding, and forced me to choose sides. I struggled as I found both of them to be at fault. I chose my wife and my mother hated it. Ever since, basically anything that my mother says or does, whether good or not, offends my wife. Even the most genuine attempts by my mother to reach out to my wife are smacked down. My wife has never made any effort to release the past resentment. Over the years my mother has attempted to take the high road, only to be barely acknowledged by my wife. I have always pleaded with my wife to at least pretend to like my mother. She did a bad job of pretending because my mother would always call me and ask why my wife appears to never care or never let go of past feelings. So both saw through each other, my mother would continue to act happy and loving, while my wife never would.

Anyway now our son came into the picture. He is amazing and being the first grandchild on both sides, the grandparents want to be around him every chance they can get. My mother visit every weekend. I told my wife we have to let her do this. My wife dreaded this. I told my mother that one of the weekends, we wanted her to visit on a Sunday (staying over till Monday morning) instead of a Saturday because we had plans that Saturday. In actuality the day was a birthday celebration for my father in law, being held at her parents house. She just didn’t want my mother involved in everything so she put her foot down. My mother wouldn’t take no for an answer and pulled it out of me what we were doing that day. Well she took great offense to the fact that she was not automatically invited, and couldn’t believe how cold, unChristian, and I loving my wife and her family were.

This stuff affects me greatly so of course I share with my wife, and she exclaims she is done with my mother. No longer wants to be nice or pretend, she is tired of how much my mother always wants it all to be her way and then throws out insulting and hurtful words about my wife to get her way. I get messages from my moms friends telling me how I need to see things my moms way, they would never exclude their mother this way, and that my wife is causing all of this.

And so here we are. I saw my mother the next day, and my wife removed herself from the situation by staying out for the day. It was incredibly uncomfortable. I told my mother how mad I was at her for always being so difficult and never just letting it go. I told her my real feelings about how I wished she could stop needing such inclusion and love. Her response was that she is justified in wanting to be included in everything, and that my wife has never shown her any love or effort and it was obvious, so what could she possibly do? I told her my wife is willing to work on this, perhaps in professional therapy. But in reality my wife wants no part of that and has no desire to mend anything anymore. I think she resents me for trying to mend things.

So what do I do? I’m frustrated with my mom for being difficult, always needing more and never letting things go, and saying inflammatory things when she doesn’t get her way. But I see that all she’s ever wanted was peace and love, and my wife never gave her that. I’m frustrated with my wife for getting so easily offended at everything my mother says or does, and I wish she could make any effort to see the other side and let go of such a grudge. My mother is definitely strong willed and manipulative but I think there is love there if only we could work through it. My wife is extremely assertive and refuses to let anyone wrong her twice. Both think the other has always been dead wrong, the entirety of the blame, and will never change. My wife is ok never seeing my mother again, yet my mother says she wants to let bygones be bygones and attempt to work through it.

What should I do? Forever stuck in the middle. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Brilliant write, good and clear english. IELTS SCORE 9/9

Please, was he not sent by the presidency ?

I wont marry again

Shot man , big temper.

hopefulLandlord:
Christians should be very watchful of their utterances against this pastor as what he wanted to do might've been commanded by Yahweh as he works in mysterious ways and his wisdom, as our Holy Bible said, looks like foolishness unto man.

Yahweh once told the Israelites to kill all midianites but keep young virgin girls as war booty. This sounds wrong to us but whatever Yahweh commands is wise even if it looks wrong in our limited knowledge he has his reasons

Yahweh figuratively destroyed Saul for not totally destroying the Amalekites

Yahweh once told Ezekiel to eat bread baked with human shiit

Same way Yahweh sent lying spirits to Ahab's prophets. This also sounds wrong to us but he has his reasons we aren't privy to and he answers to no one

Yahweh also hardened Pharaoh's heart while using that as opportunity to send more plagues and kill innocent people until all firstborn sons of the Egyptians are dead. This also sounds cruel but that's Yahweh showing us his loving power and nobody should question him

Yahweh struck Onan dead for refusing to cum into his brother's wife's vagyna


Yahweh's ways are not our ways. its possible Yahweh instructed to sleep with his church elder's wife. Yahweh might have his reasons so we should not use our limited knowledge to judge what a man talking to a being of unlimited knowledge does. Beware not to bring a curse upon your lives and future generations by attacking a true man of Yahweh

careful man

okomile:
Naira land no be hospital

Take her to the hospital pronto

fool

Damnnn

Iranian Government is the worst enemy of Iran, and not America

Na wa

Gbammmmm

Ghen ghen

These people and death
are like 5 and 6

Entrapment

Na wa. Softly softly

Damn

this guy thinks this is a joke

lazinny:
I dare you to show me when and where Obama gave Iran billions. Someone will tell you a dog has 6 legs and you'll believe. Learn to fact check outrageous claims especially when it comes from a serial liar like Trump.

see how lazy you are. Why are you like this. I followed the news then. Trump blocked the last payment plod a simple Google check.

seniormallam:
I will goto USA, France & UK to sign ministers that will head all agencies.........believe me, there's this natural progress that comes with white people been in charge.........expecting miracle from this our old fools politicians is just waste of time.........imagine Nigeria trying to buy arms through south Africa during Jonathan's regime, see mtn and dstv all in the hands of white south Africans.......even the GLO we claimed to be our own.......the whites are the engine room.....adenuga is just the financier.

you are right. Look at what they turned Australia to just in 65years

Pentasoft1978:
is not happening now. tweet that was done since early hours of today. are U just watching CNN. May be there was power failure in your area since morning.

exactly what is the point of your post ?

Everything is about leadership. Obama gave Iran billions, it is the same Iran Trump is trumpilizing

Jubrilllllllllllllll again

Afamed:
With the last N200 you suppose take buy Opa this morning?

Damn, savage you are

izzou:
[color=royalblue]The system Is working but that guy beat the system.

If he didn't get into crime again, he would never ever have been found.

Since 1979, and they are just busting him now. Imagine how many more that are out that haven't been found [/color]

My dear you missed the point, he did not beat the system, he was only hiding from the system. In other countries, people like this will be the lawmaker or executive deciding the faith of people that are far holier than them

tke dullard, never disaapoint

LordKO:
If you're a Mech. Engr. with at least 2 years previous work experience in the petroleum industry, send me a PM immediately.

As for your wife and her recent attitude, it's obvious that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women. Since she's of the small-minded stock, you've to master the art of treating small-minded people and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too.

Your qoute caught my attention...Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women..

and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too. This second one seems contradictory, I thought it was a small minded person that will pay evil with evil. Please kindly explain. Please

Happy new year