₦airaland Forum

;d ;d ;d ;d ;d

@ Baby - Her name is Adunni not Kemi

I will love to call my spouse - agbalumo

@ Nelson - Then you will become the Father of the Nations, after impregnating all the gurls.

Thanks

@ Boss - Why the quarrel

A couple that has been married for 20 years were both recently diagnosed of having diabetes.

*Findings later showed that they both contacted the disease as a result of names they called each other like: Honey pie, sweetie, sugar cakes ,etc.

*So please prevent diabetes by starting early by calling your spouse names like: Yoyo bitters, chloroquine, agbalumo, pepper fruit, alabukun, atawewe, opa-eyin, kasapreko, Swedish bitters, awo-pa, bitter leaf, dongoyaro, koro etc.


*Have a healthy & sugar-free romantic life.

A Nigerian mother asks her pregnant teenage daughter ''Adunni how did you get pregnant?? ''i told you, if a man touches your breast say 'DON'T' and if he touches your virgina say 'STOP', The girl says "But mamma, i did, He was touching both places at the same time so i said "DON'T STOP,

@ EFCC -
Hope u not coming to arrest me now

Dear good people. Isn't it a reality? It is simply a local call (nija = hell). Apology to the theocrats.

Wat is the prove that they are Christians

Queen, Bush & OBJ die and go to Hell.

Queen say "I mis UK, I wan cal UK". She make 5 mins call and ask"devil, how much? Devil say, £800.

Bush say "meself wan cal US" Him make 3 mins call ask how much? Devil say na, $2500.

OBJ self vex "meself wan cal 9ja, I wan talk 2 Gudluck, Atiku, Every1" OBJ talk 4 about 15hrs, ask devil,how much?

Devil say 5 naira. OBJ dey surprised and ask "why 5 naira now?" Devil say "Hell 2 Hell, na local call".

Didnt get wat I needed dis year, guess 2011 will be AWESOME!!!

Kinda, received only 13th month.

It is true

Yes, I notice it too.

Many of them are always hooked to MUCH OLDER & FAT UGLY WOMEN. Why

Tragedy struck in Agege area of Lagos State, South West Nigeria when a staff of Fidelity Bank PLC was burnt to death while trying to switch on a generating set which caught fire when a call came in his GSM handset.

We gathered that the victim, Mr. David Adeogun, got married not too long ago and had a new baby.

Investigations revealed that Adeogun, a staff of the Ikosi, Ketu branch of the bank got home after work and wanted to switch on the generating set with the torchlight on his phone when the phone rang,

The generating set was said to have exploded immediately when the phone rang. His body, it was learnt, was seriously burnt by the explosion.

He died later in the hospital after being hospitalised for a week.

Some staff of the bank said the death of their colleague came to them as a shock.

A staff, who craved anonymity lamented the death of Adeogun and called on Nigerians using the torchlight on their handsets while putting on their generating sets on at night to desist from doing so as it could lead to an explosion when a call comes in.

Another staff of the bank described the deceased as a cool and easy going person who would not look for people’s trouble. A similar incident occurred two weeks ago when a man was killed while trying to put on the generating set for his family at night using the torchlight on his handset. The generating set was said to have caught fire when a call came in.

Ayowumie is dat very true?

1. Nigerians love football. (Almost all Nigerians support a foreign football club, and half of them support our national team).

2. Nigerians love money; they really, really like making money. (If you know who doesnt like money, show me pls).

3. Nigerians love God. (Check out how many churches/mosques we have around).

4. An average Nigerian loves music. (See how rich we have made our musicians).

5. A true Nigerian will never, ever be a suicide bomber. (Forget Abdulmuttalab, he's not a true Nigerian).

6. A Nigerian would always be known wherever he or she is.

7. A true Nigerian loves his local delicacy. (Even when abroad, they find ways to eat it).

8. Nigerians love to party. (Check out how many parties are held on weekends in Nigeria, especially in Lagos).

9. An average Nigerian is a hustler! (Nigerians wake up as early as 4a.m. to resume their daily business every weekday).

PLEASE NOTE:
If you dont have atleast four of these qualities, then I'm sorry, you are not a Nigerian. You have to check your nationality.

Happy for him

I was speechless for 15mins now, just dont know how to describe her, hope u got wat I meant.


Loads of Kisses 4u Mama

r.i.p

Sorry, will come back to read this long story.

R.I.P man

@ lysaa - meant for the new landers. Guess we have new member(s) joining everyday.

I was a very happy person. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating over a year, and so we decided to get married.

There was only one little thing bothering me, It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate because she never did it when she was near anyone else.

One day her "little" sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well, I was in total shock, and couldn't say a
word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.

Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in their eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our[b] little test[/b]. We couldn't ask for better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family!"

And the moral of this story is:

, Guess what, I was heading for my car where I kept my condoms.

They just want s3x & money from the working class who they think are desperate looking for hubby.

Okay

@ Poster - u indeed funny

Huh! So I heard