₦airaland Forum

ogugua88: What's the issue? Men always return home to find a wife. I don't see any reason for a woman not to do so.

which means u're still coming. I'll wait. Okay?

Crap

sholay2011: OMG! My thread got to the FP! This is a new year gift for me! I am very grateful for this, mods. I also thank my parents who have been in support of my nairaland endeavours, through thick and thin; God bless.

My friends who have always encouraged to keep creating topics- both meaningful and the less meaningful ones that with the hope of one getting to front page one day.

Finally, I thank my darling who whispered to me that 2013 is my year of excellence. It's nice that the excellence starts from here.

the psycho ward is over there sir
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ijebabe: Nice one

Let me read first

lmao ooooo. So, u neva evn read before sayin nice comment. This one na new leaf?

Anybody read ds thing?

gwas: hwuyqzaiewkoislrenmsabcvsetaxopeytinsefjsz.

alien, how far? Na so u wan begin?

Talk for yourself only, i dnt get hyped. At least not since yrs back. One tin for sure, the night came on the 25th or 31st of dec, and d day will come the next day. No eclipse, no earth, jes a normal night and day. Wotz d hype for.
Thank ur God and do the rest.

duni04: Funny thing is I'm yoruba and I prefer Igbo girls to Yoruba girls. Yoruba girls are lousy, very material and always disrespectful. Most of the Igbo girls I know are either staunch catholics or very serious pentecostal Christians. Its easier to find a chaste Igbo girl than a yoruba one.

okay, my turn:
Funny thing is i'm an igbo guy and i prefer yoruba girls to igbo girls. igbo girls are so unfaithful, full of themselves, uncivic, lousy and too materialistic. They pretend a lot and will never allow u do anythin for ur family except hers.
Most yoruba girls i knw are so respective, they undstnd wot a man is, very supportive and so educative and thus alwys tryin to b independent.
A yoruba adage says:
Oloriburuku eda lo ma nfi owo osi juwe ile popsy e. Iwo were yiii

igbsam: This will cause some heads to roll!!
And am sure mine is the first. But before you yab me, i copied it from somewhere and decide to post it here to know if this is true! Some it seems some are true as i have witnessed quite a few and i no just fit shout! I even tire to seperate fight. To those who would want to cut my head all in the name of comment, please cut my head and leave my neck standing, bikonu!

Now, take note of the following, dear friend:

1. Forget Authority: If you were marrying a Yoruba woman, she would have come to your house with her mother’s voice ringing in her ears that a husband’s house is a place where life’s lessons are learnt. It’s a different story for the Igbo woman. She comes from a long line of ‘unruly’ people who traditionally have no concept of a central authority figure. Prepare to be stared down eyeball to eyeball in an argument. Prepare to be laughed at when you attempt to assert yourself as the ‘man of the house.’ When she’s done laughing, she’ll measure you, up and down with her left, and sneer: ‘Hian! See this one o; who do you think you’re talking to?’ She’ll clap and shake her head, then she’ll add something in Igbo and then saunter away, wriggling her backside. It isn’t for nothing that the legendary Aba Womens’ Riot happened in…ABA.

2. Prepare to be Called Names: No, I am not referring to endearing (more like puke-inducing, actually) names like Baby, Darling, or Nkem. I’m talking about names that qualify your lineage and ethnicity in terms that are not exactly complimentary. If you are Yoruba, you and your people will be Ndi ofe mmanu (something about too much oil in your soup and fried things in your life); If you are a Northerner, you and your people will be Ndi beribe (something about possessing a mumu gene). Find solace in the fact that if you are truly Yoruba, you ‘know’ that Igbo people use kick to wake their mothers up from the mat in the morning.

3. Say Goodbye to your Waistline: Your waistline will increase in proportion to the years you spend with an Igbo woman who knows the well-beaten path to her mother’s kitchen. Gone are your days of adding stew to ewedu and okro, or eating egusi soup that was blended with tomatoes. Tufiakwa! The introduction of Ofe Akwu, Nsala, Oha, Onugbu, Ofe Owerri and Oporoko will ensure that when you sit, you fill up the chair. That’s what is called a man, a DIMGBA! Not one that looks like something some hungry wind blew in. When the husband of an Igbo woman stands, people must see that a man is standing. Size matters. Don’t be deceived by the looks of people like Ebuka Obi-Uchendu and that six-pack nonsense; he’s not a proper Igbo man. Look more at people like his elder brother Ugo or imagine Noble Igwe a few years after marriage; now, those are real Igbo men! Size matters to an Igbo woman.

4. Be Aware of the Oriaku Syndrome: You have not heard of the Oriaku Syndrome? Don’t worry, I will tell you. You see, when you marry an Igbo woman, you work for her. Your glory comes from seeing her shine. When she steps out, people must SEE your money on her body. If your wife looks like the dried fish she uses in cooking your soup, you are not a man! If she’s dressed like something that was sent to Lagos along with discarded wares, you have failed in your duties! The Oriaku Syndrome posits that your wife is the chopper of your money, simple. Don’t take this to mean that you are her provider and therefore she isn’t independent. When the Igbo man was planting yam, the Igbo woman was planting and harvesting cocoyam, and as every Igbo household can testify, the cocoyam is more useful than yam. Yam is only the king crop because the Igbo society, like others, is phallocentric. Don’t get it twisted.

5. Beware of the Illuminati: Do not marry any Igbo woman that is the first daughter of her father. All first daughters in Igboland are members of the real Illuminati. They sometimes call it by another name: Umuada. They are the most powerful group in Igboland and can do and undo. No one uses small spoon to measure their food. If you marry one and misbehave and she reports you, you are doomed. Even when you don’t marry one, you are still doomed if your wife ever reports you to them. They may decide that all the first daughters from her village will come and live in your house for a month. You may wish to consider suicide if that ever happens to you. It is the Igbo woman who has forgotten the path to her father’s house that suffers in a man’s house when she has the Umuada waiting.

6. The Catholic Church Intervention: When an Igbo woman is tired of you and your nonsense, she’ll simply pack her bag and return to her father’s house. If you do not run after her and collect your bride price back from her father, whatever child she bears anywhere she goes will bear your name. Yes, I’m serious. This is why there are no bastards in Igboland. But thank God for the Catholic Church, this doesn’t happen often. The average Igbo woman is Catholic and the Catholic Church has issues with divorce. Be smart: if you’re going to marry an Igbo woman, marry one who is a Catholic; it reduces her chances of leaving you by about 50%.

You may wish to ask why none of the above is often the case when an Igbo woman marries an Igbo man… well, I don’t know. Perhaps the Igbo man knows how to be ‘oga’ over the Igbo woman and has refused to share the secret with aliens.

+100,000,000

kerzakov: i believe this is so becos the yoruba men are seeing the wonderful features in an igbo woman which they can't see in their own women. do you know that 95% of divorced cases in nigeria today are westerners? the igbo woman who is more tolerant will want to uphold her marriage no matter what. secondly, the yoruba man knows the igbo woman has no competitor when it comes to cooking. he can tolerate the food served by his mother but wouldn't dare tolerate the rubbish a yoruba lady will cook. and thirdly, the igbo woman in a marriage is less of a flirt. we know how a yoruba lady can on a regular basis be getting serviced by her neighbour.

see stupidity at it's highest rank! This is so simple, most yorubas are generally carefree and tolerant. They jes dnt choose or care who they fall in love with. the guy WAM? Is so on point saide the usage of cream. Biliv me, they're almost not usin the right cream. Tryin to tone is a world wide issue. Only unmyopic ladies cherished been a swarthy. evry girl wanna b lite, evn d light igbos 'maintain' the skin.
Now, bk to topic, if u check most of the cases where a yoruba and igbo get a long, there will b notin special except they met, and fell in love. Lobatan.

Teejayphillip: All i ask from God is 2 b COMFORTABLE.... I dnt wanna acquire the whole wealth n stil fall short ur glory...

Being COMFORTABLE is wat i craved for,so as to torch mani lives n help d widow... So help me God...

hypocrite

This list is incomplete! Where is baba suwe?

WTF!!!!

faithme22: Hello dear,
How are you today, I hope all is well with you ,My name is miss faith, I was so impressed to came across your profile today which drag my interest in you, I will also like to know more about you,reply directly to my personal Email ID (faiithfalli@ymail.com) so that I can send you more details about my self including my pictures. I believe we can move from here. Bear in mind that friendship and Love has no colors barrier, or distance barrier, the only important thing there is love. hope to hear from you soon email me direct to .( faiithfalli@ymail.com)
Yours Sincerely
Miss faith

ezechukwe, abi wetin b ur name. Ur fakeness is written all over ur profile. Rangin from the pix to how u are following yourself.
hey yo mod, i'm proposing a life ban to both this fake handle and the real owner who is the follower. Thank u

larrymoore: Men are fake, next time, they should nt only abandon d food bt also go on sex strike.

that wld be easy. It doesnt look like her vag's got infrastructures like tarred roads and street lights. hence, not even diff from the house maid's. #just sayin ni o#

[quote author=mondi_cheeks]With the type of monkeys I see on NL it's better if some of these women die single than die from hypertension all in the name of marriage[/quote]bitterness

Avoiding food poisoning