₦airaland Forum

*weigh

Hmm. . . Yetunde lemme help u way ur 2 options (since ur too scared to think)

Keeping the baby, this is my default choice but truth is ur bf is an irresponsible cow that can not be a good father so ur probably on ur own here. Raising a child isn't beans plus the stigma of being a single mum, it reduces ur chances of getting a husband in future. My advice, if ur choosing this involve ur bfs family. . . Don't make it seem as if u need their financial support but just to inform them of their sons latest "acquisition". . . Cos its easier for a man in future to want to marry u when he knows ur child's father has a relationship with his child. . . Truth is when we meet girls who's children dunno who their fathers are, we brand them as ex serial whorres. .

Aborting this pregnancy, yes u are killing ur own (but also ask ur self, is the baby still a developing egg or now a being?) U myt encounter a quack that wud damage ur womb or kill u but aren't there also good doctors too? I personally don't advice u to pick this option but from wat ur portraying here I don't think ur ready to be a mother. . . It wud be sad for u to have this child and something goes wrong, then u now spend ur whole life blaming this child for ur failures in life. . .

I have seen it work and seen it fail. . . The ball is in ur court

PS: Ur parents myt tell u to abort it, this is 21st century, some parents can't bear the shame

wandeok: By christian ozor
I have always been a good Christian. To me my faith permits marriage but I can’t just marry anybody. Marriage was already in my mind as at that time, age was not much on my side. I was just 35. Even though my finances was a little bit low I prayed fervently to God to give me the right person. I have always believe in my dreams because most of my dreams do come to pass. I once had this dream during were I went to farm. As I walked in, I saw a young lady with a paw-paw fruit on her hand. She was very beautiful and I could see the face clearly though I have not seen her before. She told me to come collect a portion from it. As I walked towards her, immediately I stretched my right hand to collect the paw-paw I woke up. I found out it was a dream.
Two weeks later I was returning from evangelism, I saw a very beautiful young lady preaching to some group of young men in the neighborhood. I decided to come closer to listen to her message very well. I began enjoying her message, she was so fluent. Her beauty didn’t attract me as such, what attracted me the most was her charisma and the way she preached. I decided to sit on one of the empty chairs at the back. After the message, I approached her, we exchanged pleasantries and introduced ourselves, I requested walking her home and she agreed. We chatted and talked as I walked her home. I got to her house and we spent over 2 hours talking. I really enjoyed her company that I requested if we could do a joint evangelism together , she agreed.
As we go to evangelism together we became closer and fond of each other. I was not comfortable with our relationship as just friends, I wanted us to go to a next level. I asked her to marry me, she appreciated my courage but she asked me to go and pray to God about it while she does the same too. In my mind I was very sure that she is the right one for me.
A month later as we were going to visit some of our new converts, she turned to me and told me that she has agreed to marry me. I was just so happy about the good news.
We courted for about 6 months and we started the preparations for the traditional rites. It proved a little difficult when we (me and my family) went to see her parents. They insisted that all the drinks we will bring will be alcohol (ogogoro, sepe), because they from isoko in Delta state. Isokos love taking alcohol a lot. I totally refused buying any alcohol because it’s outside my faith. I gave them my own option of what I will do. I told them I can’t buy them alcohol, I will rather give them the money so they can make do with anyhow they like. They refused my offer, they still insisted that I must buy the alcohol if I must marry their daughter. I myself refused too, I told them that in fact I wasn’t interested in the marriage any more if I have to buy alcohol as the drinks. Later on they called me back after 3 months. They said they don’t want anything to stand in their daughter’s happiness. They accepted my offer to take the money, and the traditional rites was completed. time about it. I wanted it to be a month after the traditional rites, even though I don’t have much money for the wedding, I have to make do with the little I have. My wife to be just graduated from the university about 3 months ago, she has not found a job. I myself an NCE holder and a class teacher , I only have about N50,000 in my account, I just have to manage it because I already told her we wouldn’t borrow or beg, we just have to spend N30,000 for that wedding while the other N20,000 will be for our upkeep after the wedding while I wait for the result of the interview I did which I believe and sure I passed very well because they had informed me that before a month time they will call me back for the appointment. It is a good well paying job. Not forgetting that my fiancé will look for job too to reduce the responsibility. I was so sure that we will have much guests even unwanted once too because is a village. I told her is either we give them biscuits and drinks or .rice and fish with water. We have to cut our coat according to our material.
On that wedding day, our guess was actually right because we had over 700 people as guests including uninvited once. The whole of the reception was full. We made a very beautiful small cake worth N2000 though we didn’t share it because it will not get to everybody, it is just for “cutting of cake” item between the bride and groom. Thank God we made use of rice and fresh fish, the people sharing just have to manage it little by little so that it will get to everybody. It was 2 bags of rice. We made available about 7 drums of water, after eating you take water, no drinks or meat, no high table or chairman.
Finally am happy I was married to the love of my life and the wedding was successful. To those who spent or are spending big budgets for wedding/marriage, borrowing for people to be impressed, at the end of the day all of us have one thing in common! Which is “We all got married”
www.hovabuzz.com
http://hovabuzz.com/myweddingstory.html

First bold part - poster u dey mad ooooo. . . .

Second bold part - very true

deandavid: its like am in OYO state o.

so poster, u feel she allows u win the fights so u wud marry her. . . . then when u guys marry n u dare lift ur hands up, ur as good as dead

The demons that post on NL sha. . . . O girl, talk to him. . . If he can't father a child then he should advice u on wat u shud do. . .

You both conceived together, so solve ur problem together

chaircover: I'm fed up of hearing this all the time. Sometimes I am in the car with my husband and someone in front of him does something silly and he automatically says "women drivers" and then we go past the car and see that it is a man driving it

I think that us women are safer drivers, we dont race, we are careful and we dont get into ego scraps with other drivers (something I have seen men do time after time), we think before we act and so on.

Using myself as an example, I have only had 2 accidents in 10 years; one was when a lorry hit me whilst I was stationary at the side of the road (so not my fault) and the other when I choose not to believe my reverse sensors and reversed into a tree. OK that was my fault

Ok I have seen some lady drivers do some silly things but it is not as bad as people paint it.

I dont work for an insurance company, but it will be interesting to see the percentage of accidents caused by women against accidents caused by men.

Lie from the pit of hell. . . It's women that even started that

DonTonero: disvirgining a V is not easy bro cos we are in the same shoes i v dated mine for over a year now once we reach that line its mike tyson against hollyfield but it happened at the least expected time with no one getting hurt but she cursed me die and later accepted it was her fault.i dont wish you that but if you can endure plz do.do not ddisvirgin her unless she says so.i use Papa God beg you cos you may loose her.As for me mine was the best gift i v ever had.i love her so much now lolz [color=#006600][/color]

I tot ur girl had left u for a corper . . . . so ur one of those guys who form stories

Dyt: u must v skipped lunch

SHARRAP!!!

DonTonero: i have dated this my girl for over six years infact from childhood,we have known each other for long but we always quarrel and settle.all the family members of both of knows we are dating and are almost waiting for us to tie the knots.i had a problem with my girl, to me its not really a problem because i feel God wants to reveal something to me.she was posted to kaduna which i vowed i cant be alive and see her serve their so i redeployed her to lagos where i was and ask her to pay part of the money while i complete the rest of which she accepted.to my surprise she collected the money from the mum and refused to pay.when i confronted her she couldnt give any good reason.meanwhile the company where she is working now i sent her there and she is been paid.i decided not to talk to her for a while to see if she would have a change of heart.just barely two weeks i cut her off only to call her again she was comparing me with a corper in the company which i suffered to send her to.am so confused and have all the evidence of her moves with the guy which she accepted after face to face combat.should i go on with her or let her be.i love this girl so much and she is capitalizing on it to deal with me.i need advice pals useful one and not mockery cos am dying in silence.

Am sure I have said it b4 here that NYSC is the time girls cheat the most. If a girl remains faithful thru out that yr, she is worth keeping for life. . . It's the most trying period of their life

Sorry to say, maybe u didn't impress him much. . . .

unbranded0029: My gud people of NL, i want 2 appreciate u all for ur contributions, suggestions and counsels over my situation i brought b4 u here last week. I told d story of my fiancee whom i hv bn assisting, but she finds it dificult 2 appreciate my little efforts. Here is d situation at present. As some of u suggested, I felt human, called her 2 knw d level as per her skul fees. She started playing pranks, posting me on two occasions that she would tell me d details later. After d second time, i said shooo, do i now need 2 beg her 2 accept my hard earned money? No way! 2 days later, i wrote her a text (since she would b reluctant to listen 2 me), pouring out my mind on d whole issue and opting 2 now retain my assistance until she decides if she wants my help or not. Since then i blackd out, havnt called her and wasn't ready to. Clearly i felt 2 help not because i expect 2 marry her, but because posterity has a way of remembering d gud we did unappreciated. Today, she sent me a text with d following content. "gud mornin, we re starting our exams on 14th of May. If u want 2 help me 4 my skul fees, u let me know. If u re not willing 2 help, tel me. I am with half of d skul fees now. Thank u" Guys in as much as i'm not a saint in all of this, is d above d tone to seek a fiance's assistance in such matter. I am sure, she was exploring other options wen she refusd to giv me update on d fees. But now it seems it wasn't succesful afterall, and that's why she now wants it. I tel u, if she had gotten d money frm elsewher, sh would hav told me that mine's no longer necesary. One thing i knw she thinks is, i neva wanted to giv her in d first place and that's why am dragging. I knw her wel 2 alwez find a way 2 acuse me of not willing to help wen it was clearly her impatience that brought up all this. At her 200 level she did same thing, acusd me of not wiling to. Has no idea wot it takes to make money in Lagos and pay all d bills. Hers is i want u 2 help me over this and now. Once it takes a litle time, u re no longer wiling. Am fed up and no longer interested in d relationship 4 d fear of d worst in d future. Bt i feel 4 her because she won't sit 4 d exams without d fees paid. Please, in ur humble opinion do u think i shld help her or run as far as my legs can carry me? Thanks 4 alwez being there?

If u help her ur the biggest fooool that ever lived. . . . I have a friend that did the same thing u did n he is now broke always begging for money. . . Take care of ur own business, invest in ur future with the money. . . Your not buoyant, u want to start helping ungrateful harllots. . . . Let her miss one semester, next time she wud be appreciative. . . Nonsense

Onegai: You meet a guy. He comes off as a player, you run. He pursues, you run harder and faster. You play all sort of tricks to get rid of him "come and meet my folks, be in a committed relationship with me before sex". He swears that he wants a good girl and you're it. You tell him "sure, but no sex." Afterall you've been celibate for years without him, and you assure him there's no need to spend his money, please don't try and buy you.

He chases you, and you meet a friend or two, or his coworkers. You begin to trust and let your guard down. The sex happens.

All of a sudden, this nigger realises you're childish. And gosh, so over-emotional. He asks for a break. You're in tears and you're begging and pleading, wondering why he won't even accept the fact that he's partly to blame for the fights, as it takes two to play with one's emotions. But no, if in a conversation, he says there's no problem in double dating and you tell him you will deal with him should he dare, he hears "She will kill me, omo, run". He's treating you like you slept with his bestie, rather than you just deleted him off your bb. He ignores you, you ask what's wrong, no answer. Then you try and move on. And he blasts you for daring such. You try and resolve this and he says it's always your fault.

"Why did you delete me?? You're a child"

You finally agree on a break. You send messages during that time, he replies sporadically. Yet if he sends you a "Hi" and you don't reply, pepper will pour down the BB line. He strings you on, over and over, and you fall. After all, he knows you don't have experience in dating, whilst he's dated the whole world. Everyone advises you to blank him, but you reason "we're mature adults, we should be able to talk, we had no real problems". But one day, you've finally had enough, and you leave. Then one of two things happen:
He hears you're moving into a new relationship, sends you message to try and see if you are still keeping his spot open, then comes on NL asking how to get you back or
He comes on NL, to complain bitterly that there are no good girls

The reason I'm asking is that I know sooo many guys doing this, it's no longer funny. And it's always the same crap, and almost a year later, if they could put their pride away or confirm she still likes them, they would beg the chick. So why not focus on the job in the first place?

Well it happens the other way round too, i know a lot of girls that have done this too so its the same ol' shi**

i think they both have 5 each

ur bf wants to cheat on u, so he is wondering if u take note of things b4 he does it

makky: Saw him just this Sunday, and today I got a text on my phone from his friend, his marriage iv!

Ive been in shock since morning, dont know who to talk to cos I don't keep friends, i absolutely may go suicidal on this. A man that didnt even have a house, a job, no money when i met him. I cook for him, he spent virtually all his time at my place, even most times borrowed as lil as N200 from me. He cried at the bus-stop one evening begging me not to let go, that single tear kept me. I don't have a regular job, I buy & sell things just to keep going till a job comes. I've chased suitors away all in d bid to make this man feel save cos i believe in tomorrow. He is a divorcee, i didnt worry abt that. I stood by him since last year till he got a house dis February. By march I started noticing things. Ive asked him severally what d problem was but he said its just stress cos he got an event contract with a company. At a point he even borrowed some money from me, got to find out that it was cos of the girl he is planning to marry that came visiting bt he was too broke to host her.

This life and the men in it are heartless. Tell me how i can ever love another? Am dying silently, please i need friends to talk to or even a proper job to help me get over this hurt, am self destructive!

Sorry ooo, ur case is sad. . . Its not only men that do it, girls do it too. . . . Its just a case of falling in love with ur eyes shut. . .

Export1: Report Summary

Class: Mid Range Car - Standard
Engine: 2.0L I4 MPI
Country of Assembly: Mexico
Vehicle Age: 13 year(s)
Calculated Owners: 3

VIN: 3VWSA29M4XM051514
Year : 1999
Make : Volkswagen
Model: New Jetta GLS
Style/Body: Sedan 4D

This Vehicle's AutoCheck Score



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AccidentCheck
Reported accidents: 2

Title and ProblemCheck
Your vehicle checks out!

OdometerCheck
Your vehicle checks out!

Last Reported Odometer: 154,965

Vehicle Use and EventCheck
Specific vehicle use(s) or events reported
View Full History
AccidentCheck

Not all accidents / issues are reported to AutoCheck

A problem has been found with this vehicle. Information Reported! AutoCheck shows accidents reported to AutoCheck for this 1999 Volkswagen New Jetta GLS (3VWSA29M4XM051514). Below you will find the date and location reported for the accident. Not all accidents or damage events are reported to AutoCheck.

Accidents Reported on This Vehicle
Accident No. Reported Date Location
1 04/10/2003 HOBOKEN, NJ
2 12/14/2009 WAYNE, NJ

Reported accidents or damage events are a result of vehicle collisions or other non-collision incidents such as vandalism or theft. Not all accidents or damage events are reported to AutoCheck.
Title and ProblemCheck

checks_out Your vehicle checks out! AutoCheck's database for this 1999 Volkswagen New Jetta GLS (3VWSA29M4XM051514) shows no negative titles or other problems. When reported to AutoCheck, these events can indicate serious past damage or other significant problems, and disqualifies the vehicle for AutoCheck Buyback Protection. Check the Vehicle Use and EventCheck for reported accidents that can affect vehicle safety and value.

0 Problem(s) Reported: 15 Title/Problem areas checked:
image No abandoned title record
image No damaged title or major damage incident record
image No fire damaged title record
image No grey market title record
image No hail damage title record
image No insurance loss title or probable total loss record
image No junk or scrapped title record
image No manufacturer buyback/lemon title record
image No odometer problem title record
image No rebuilt/rebuildable title record
image No salvage title or salvage auction record
image No water damaged title record
image No NHTSA crash test record
image No frame/unibody damage record
image No recycling facility record
OdometerCheck

checks_out Your vehicle checks out! AutoCheck examined the reported odometer readings reported to AutoCheck for this 1999 Volkswagen New Jetta GLS (3VWSA29M4XM051514) and no indication of an odometer rollback or tampering was found. AutoCheck uses business rules to determine if reported odometer readings are significantly less than previously reported values. Not all reported odometer readings are used. Title and auction events also report odometer tampering or breakage.
0 Problem(s) Reported: Mileage Date Reported
image 23 03/24/1999
image 65,000 07/31/2001
image 101,000 06/04/2003
image 153,913 09/26/2006
image 154,965 08/15/2007
Vehicle Use and EventCheck

image Information Reported! AutoCheck shows additional vehicle uses or events reported to AutoCheck for this 1999 Volkswagen New Jetta GLS (3VWSA29M4XM051514). This includes reported vehicle uses such as rental or lease, and events such as whether the vehicle has been reported to have had a loan/lien or duplicate title issued. Other events show if the vehicle has a reported accident and how many calculated accidents or if it has been reported stolen or repossessed. It is recommended to have pre-owned vehicles inspected by a third party prior to purchase.
1 Event(s) Reported: 6 Vehicle uses checked:
image Fleet, rental and/or lease use record(s)
image No taxi use record
image No police use record
image No government use record
image No livery use record
image No driver education record
1 Event(s) Reported: 9 Vehicle events checked:
image 2 Accident record(s) reported through accident data sources
image No corrected title record
image No duplicate title record
image No emission/safety inspection record
image No loan/lien record
image No fire damage incident record
image No repossessed record
image No theft record
image No storm area registration/title record
Full History

Below are the historical events for this vehicle listed in chronological order. Any discrepancies will be in bold text.

Report Run Date: 2012-04-30 11:16:37.037 EDT

Vehicle: 1999 Volkswagen New Jetta GLS (3VWSA29M4XM051514)
Event Date Event Location Odometer Reading Data Source Event Detail
03/24/1999 FL

Independent Source VEHICLE MANUFACTURED AND SHIPPED TO DEALER
03/24/1999 FL
23
Motor Vehicle Dept. ODOMETER READING FROM DMV
04/02/1999 FL

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL (Leased Vehicle)
04/06/1999 FL

Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLE (Title #:76288417) (Leased Vehicle)
07/31/2001 NJ
65,000
Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLE (Title #:WN200121200000352) (Leased Vehicle)
07/31/2001 NJ

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL (Leased Vehicle)
04/10/2003 HOBOKEN, NJ

State Agency FRONT IMPACT WITH ANOTHER VEHICLE (Case #:03-14841)
06/04/2003 BELLEVILLE, NJ
101,000
Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLE (Title #:GS200315500000173)
06/30/2003 BELLEVILLE, NJ

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
06/30/2004 CLIFTON, NJ

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
06/30/2005 CLIFTON, NJ

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
09/26/2006 GARFIELD, NJ
153,913
Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLE (Title #:OK200626900000344)
08/15/2007 HALEDON, NJ
154,965
Motor Vehicle Dept. TITLE (Title #:WN200722700000159)
08/31/2007 HALEDON, NJ

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
08/31/2008 HALEDON, NJ

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
08/31/2009 HALEDON, NJ

Motor Vehicle Dept. REGISTRATION EVENT/RENEWAL
12/14/2009 WAYNE, NJ

State Agency RIGHT REAR IMPACT WITH ANOTHER VEHICLE (Case #:09-30451)
12/14/2009 NEWARK, NJ

Police Report ACCIDENT REPORTED (Case #:09-30451)
12/14/2009 WAYNE, NJ

State Agency VEHICLE WAS TOWED

Thanks

1.1m nko?

Kindly help me check 3VWSA29M4XM051514

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Kindly help me check 3VWSA29M4XM051514

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Kindly help me check 3VWSA29M4XM051514

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Bitter truth, ur husband wants to cheat on u

TisaBone: Exactly! That's a choice that the women make. a woman doesn't have to be wife number two. no one makes her. just like you can't only blame these men with all these bm's. That woman chose to lay down with that man. I choose not to lay down with a man until I have a ring on my finger, therefore I'm saving myself a whole lot of heartache and pain. Now as far as any potential husband having multiple children by multiple women, that's the equivalent of saying that a woman with a "past" doesn't deserve love and marriage, because of what she USED to do and who she USED to be.

Gosh!!! So ur planning to be the woman he marries and the other baby-mamas would just be looking at u. . . Be like say u dunno shittt about nigerian families. . . Safe journey

TisaBone: you guys act like its some sort of sin to be attracted to someone. I am a woman mind you, with desires like any other woman. the key is, with God's assistance, I can and will control them. Also, what makes you think that I would ever allow myself to be alone with him?

you just want me to fail so you can say "i told you so", which does nothing but give me the strength to push even harder, and fight with renewed vigor to do what it is that I say I will do.

We are not pastors, we can't pray or deliver u. . . We are NLers we can only advice u harshly

TisaBone: the bible says that a wise man listens to instruction, so yes, I do acknowledge that two wrongs don't make a right and I probably should not have told their business like that over the internet. But I'm not perfect. I struggle daily with the pain and anger that is within me, and I try to forgive my family for what they have done to me. but sometimes it's hard. I WILL NOT go into detail, and it wouldn't make a difference anyway, because there are some on this forum who are hellllbent on making me the villain.

I am trying to live my life in a way that is pleasing to God. If a man is not willing to wait until marriage for intimacy, then he does not truly love me. If I never have sexxx again that is fine with me.

This is exactly what I am talking about; this world is such a judgmental place. The way this man looked at me when he told me about the amount of baby mamas he had....it was as if he almost expected me to run then and there. My cousin knows him personally and said that he has an attitude. I understand this; alot of times underneath anger is pain. Maybe we will never become more than friends, but God help me, I like this man. Where it will lead only He knows. Obviously he has made plenty of mistakes, but so have I, so has everyone. But he is a survivor, I respect that as well. Sometimes this world can bring you down to the GROUND, that getting up doesn't cross a person's mind. But this man got back up, he's not making excuses, nor is he apologetic. Why should he be? A saint is nothing but a sinner who fell down to his knees, and asked God for forgiveness, then made a CHOICE to lift himself up, and attempt to not only talk the talk, but walk to walk as well.

Seems ur so in love with this guy. . . You have concluded he has changed and ur always saying how he has gotten back up (without explaining fully). . . You can go ahead and marry him. . . But let me warn u, if u marry him, ur marriage wud never know peace. Not a curse but a fact. . . Man kills the destinies of 3 ladies (how many of this ladies wud have it easy in future) and u now think u can be his Mrs without repercusions. . .

You know when they say good girls fall for bad guys, they were talking about u.

I seriously advice u to date him, maybe u can maintain his sexual urge without actually having sex wiv him.

TisaBone: do you think being a Christian means I'm perfect? It means I'm trying to become a better person. and if you knew the 411 on my family, you would be thinking [i]them [/i]the bad people. I am working of forgiveness but it's a day to day struggle.needless to say, it doesn't matter what you think or don't think of me. kick rocks if you don't like what I have to say.



No, I don't enjoy heartache. That's why I'm reaching out to people for help on as what to do. it's a shame, but I don't trust the advice of my family.


and we are just in the friendship stage, because of course i have reasons to be wary. I have been praying on this, and I don't want to dismiss him as of yet because we all fall short of the glory of god. I want to get to know him a little more to see what he thinks of his past actions, and whether he is learning from his mistakes or not. not one of you on this forum is sinless or without fault! I know I'm not, and I'm woman enough to admit that.

Please have hot spicy unprotected sexx wiv him n become his fourth baby mama. . . Instead of u to learn from the baby-mamas, u wanna interview him. . . Do u think he didn't promise the other baby mamas heaven on earth? Gosh u girls underestimate the sweet mouth of a male sha. SMH. . . For a christian, your level of wisdom is low. . . Let's assume he has repented, his old ways wud still come back and hunt him one way or another. . Do u plan on sharing the karma wiv him? Pls let him do something as dignifying as marrying one of the baby-mamas n look for ur one that compliments ur upbringing. . .

Move on

Onegai: Sit her down and get a full explanation from her. Don't jump into the relationship like that and don't break up like that. All these guys saying move on, plenty fish dey sea, true, but[b] how many of those fishes are not poisonous[/b]?

True but as Killz said its too early

TisaBone: There is this man that I am extremely interested in. I respected him, because he was able to bring himself out of the gutter, and free himself from the bondage of crime and jail and has become a successful businessman. He has a lot of ambition and drive, which I love , as well as this magnetic power emanating from him. The attraction was definitely mutual.

I went by his shop, and we talked for maybe an hour about many things. He knows that I am a Christian. He wanted to know what my dreams were, my goals for the future, and where I saw myself once I graduated college. He wanted to know why I was not in a relationship, and I told him because I was not willing to settle for just any old man. I made him laugh, and he made me laugh. He told me he was 32 with four kids, and 3 baby mothers, which scared me. I mean I was ready to run for the hills. But as he began to talk of his children, I could see the love he had for all of them, and I began to soften up once more, but at the same time my guard was still up because I know that sometimes men will talk of their children, to make themselves appear more wholesome than what they really are.

He knows how old I am, but as we were talking he picked up on the fact that although I was young, I had lived a little. He asked me why I went to church. I told him because I had problems, and I was trying to work them out with and for God so that I could become a better person.

As most men tend to do, he got a little fresh and asked could I come over and cook him dinner, once I revealed to him that I was a guru in the kitchen. I told him absolutely not, and he wanted to know why. I said because I was not ready. He said that he could respect that, and that was the end of that particular conversation. Once it was time for me to leave, I stood up, and couldn't take my eyes from him. He asked was I ready for a hug, and I sort of melted and said that I was. He took me in his arms, and his hands roamed all over my lower back, and my hips, and I could feel his hands hovering over my behind, but he stopped short. I never knew that just a simple hug could arouse not only my body, but my mind as well.

Fast forward to a couple of days later. I am talking to my aunt and cousin, about this new man I have met. I asked for prayer from my aunt, because I need to stay strong and the lady always. She wanted to know what his name was, and once I said it, my cousin turns around and is flabbergasted. According to her, this man is quite the player around town, and is known to dog women out. He may even have a girlfriend, but my cousin said she didn't know for sure. She told me to stay away from him because he was too old, and the only reason older men talk to young girls ( I'm always a child when its convenient, at other times I'm a grown up when it suits her purposes) is so that they can feel like they are doing something. My aunt chimed in and said I should ask him to pay my light bill and take me out to an expensive restaurant. She said that would get rid of him quick. It's ironic that she would suggest this considering that her own husband is an invalid who hasn't worked not one day in their ten year marriage. My cousin is a thirty something, unemployed, and bitter woman, who awaits the release of her on/off again boyfriend from prison so that they can be wed. She ridiculed me because he is shorter than me, but I don't care! according to her I'm "settling." I mean for God's sake I'm 5'11! alot of men will be taller than me, but he told me he loved my height, and that if we were ever to go out, that he definitely needed me in a pair of heels.

In my opinion both are bitter, but I can't totally discard what is being told to me. I'm scared and confused. He not once disrespected me in anyway, and seems to be accepting of all that I have told him. Is this information that I have received from my cousin a sign that I should leave this man alone? Should I walk away and never look back?

So u just finished ur cousin and aunt on a public forum cos of a man that has 4 children from 3 women. . . . You need psychological help. . . period

Hit and run scenario

Don't think tribalism can end (sorry to say). . . When parents brought up in Lagos still insist their daughters must marry from their tribe, it wud be hard to end this horror