₦airaland Forum

My sister I dey o!!! I dey try hold body and soul together. I tire for Intercontinental Bank and their wahala. If dem no kill us for this country dem no go rest!

Hey thanks a lot Jess,
I want to ask if any one knows anything about this mactay consulting people? Lately I hear all sort of stories about these 'consulting firms'. Don't want to take anything away from mimi's post, but i was just wondering, could this be for real? Anyway, i've applied.

Hey Nunu, what's up? Long time, I think say you don't travel abroad leave us here, dis one we don't see you around again. Abi you don dey run from us?

Just like MTN that claim they give free calls, only to clog up their network and prevent you from doing the free calls!!! Naija we hail thee!!!!

@ hrh,
It's just another way of telling you that they don't want to recruit. Just want to make noise like every other person but they end up not recruiting.

@ chinedu,
what the hell are you yakking about. You said about a million things, but made little sense. i hope you don't work for philips consulting, do you? If yes, I guess there's not much hope for us, is there?

@ Lauryn,

The age limit for oceanic bank is 27. This is authentic, heard it from the manager, Enugu branch himself. However, if anyone above that limit gets an invitation, be kind to inform us please.

U wan make im tell you the test venue, so you go go there go scatter the test like you did in the intercontinental bank saga. I no blame the guy sha!

I hear you, akonte

Does any one know the age limit of applicants for skye bank?

Abeg, make I ask a question. Is their anyone here that gives out jobs? Why somebody go come here dey cry for us say im need job? Who no dey 'seriously' look for job here? My sister, we're just like you. We don't give jobs, we only give info or look for info. So keep your eyes skinned, if you see what you think is good for you, you can apply, ok?

I guess in my own case, I was kinda lucky. I got my own text message around 4:00pm on friday! And I was supposed to write the test in Lagos, could you believe that? Well, I made efforts to go by night bus but discovered that transport companies no longer undertake night journeys, so I decided to chill back in enugu. I learnt my lesson from that guinness brouhaha. Thank God I stayed back! My guy in Lagos told me the place was complete zoo! Well, my sympathy to all those that went for the test but somehow didn't get to write. Shit happens. Things go better!

Guys, I just received this e-mail from a friend. It made such an impact onme that I have decided to post it here for others read. Hope the original writer does not mind!

*I am so passionate about the dilemma job seekers find themselves in this present day Nigeria. How many people are comforable with the job they have?
i really wonder if we are reaping from the past corruption or if we are just too sentimental to look forward to our realities.
I got a feedback from the just concluded intercontinental Bank recruitment test, especially the PHC test centre ( RSUST).

There were about 10,000 ( yes ten thousand) people around to write the test. Infact they had to reduce the exam test time from 1.5hrs to 1 hr in order to accomodate remaining candidates.
10,000 people!! in just one centre!!! i heard there were 4 other centres in the country.This is alarming.

Infact, there was so much struggle at the centre that mobile policemen had to resort to harrasment of applicants ( beating soon to be bankers!)
Some of my fellow engineers were also there, hoping that at least, fortune might smile at them in the banking industry.
Some people actually fainted due to the rush and another asthmatic patient got into crisis due to the rush and accumulated dust.
Hmm, i know more than anything that this is not right!!!!!

Little do i blame people that sleep at the embassy everyday even to enter kenya!! (http://www.careersng.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=757)
Will the brain drain ever stop

Who do we blame for this misfortune? What is the way out of this?
I think the irregularity in high places has brought us here ( most banking jobs have been mopped up by engineers and scientists because most engineering jobs are stil lunder expatriates and our govt keeps giving them visa, even while we get bounced from entering their country everyday!!) I strongly feel one man can not solve this whole problem.

Nigeria is the only country where the citizens do everything by themselves ( including provision of electricity, water, housing, SECURITY, everything) yet we pay tax to a government that pays lip service to our demands. Even in Afghanistan, the govt at least protect their citizens, even if they dont have money like Nigeria!!! Is it that we have so much problems that our government can not solve?? I dont wanna go into all that today, coz thats anoda topic i feel to passionate about.

SOLUTION
Like i advised the few people that i was opportuned to talk with at the IC aptitude test, Job seekers need to put on their thinking cap and let survival instinct generate the right hormones in them.
We need to put ourselves on the steroids of problem solving,
No governent or company can absorb the whole backlog of graduate, so before Darwin's theory of natural selection puts you into bottomless regrets, act now!!!
Remember that new universities are being approved and more graduates keep coming like never before,
Dont blame govt, dont blame your 2.2. or 2.1, look inward and come up with something!!

A word is enough for a wise job seeker.

Alinco, that was a bit harsh. I'm sure the guy does not need this right now. We are all in the same shit. If u have to correct him, correct him, don't slam him, ok?

@ Temmytany,
I don't know if they have any website, none was mentioned in the advert I saw. U can ask around though, NDE shouldn't be hard to find.

@ Unc femmy,
That was exactly what I thought to myself when I saw the advert. Well, let's hope we get a job, before it comes down to asking NDE for a job!

Oh Dear! I also applied for a job thru' them. U mean they could be fake. Well thanks for the warning guys!

Hey guys, The National Directorate of Employment (NDE) have come up with a new scheme called Graduate Attachment Programme (GAP). The scheme involves registring unemployed graduates who are unattached for a minimum of 3 years after NYSC. They attach these people with certain companies affliated to them, depending on what course they read in school. They also pay the graduates an allowance. If the person performs well in the company, he/she stands a chance of being retained on a permanent basis. So if you know anybody that has been unattached for 3years after NYSC, tell him/her to contact their nearest NDE office. Cheers!!!!

welcome to the world boy! It's not about 2.1 or 2.2 or 1st class, it's about who you know, or how lucky you can get

Hey, Enugu guys chill!!!! Seems they ave not started inviting for the south-east region. If U would get an invitation, it would come, u don't have to rush it. Also for guys that are fond of screaming for help here anytime they don't get an invitation and others have got, remember intercontinental or any other employee does not post threads on nairaland, just guys like u. Wait for your own chance, if u don't get an invitation, it is not the end of the world, ok?

Like that.

Please could anyone here provide us with springbank test format, urgently. I hear they have a test in Enugu tommorrow.

I'm happy this topic came up. The other day I was discussing with my friend and he raised an interesting issue. he complained about not having got any invitation from applications he sent by post. That got me thinking. I realised that all the tests I've been invited to (not much anyway), guinness, p&g, UBA, FCMB etc were applications either done online or submitted in person. Not even one that I posted has come to fruition. So I ask this question: do you think those applications get to the people they are intended for when they are posted? Or maybe they don't get there in time even when you post it 2 weeks before deadline. Wait for this: my guy even suggested that NIPOST might even be behind some of the adverts in Guardian in order to get more customers for their stamps!! It really is a crazy world, right?

I agree with africaface, better grab the first bank job with both gloves! Moreover, first bank is a better bank than UBA, believe me. They have one of the best welfare package for their staff than any other bank in Nigeria. I hear they even undertake to train up to 2 of your kids up to university level and also they have a pension package for their retired workers, something the other banks don't know wat it means. Go for !st bank, UBA might disappoint you!

Hey, below is the latest info on celtel recruitment (as of 16th september,2006). The available positions on their website are:
Administrators Database Application Support
Auditor : IT & Network Support
Manager Core Switching Planning

Please visit the Celtel website for more information on how to apply. The URL is www.ng.celtel. om

Guys, u should note that the address given is an e-mail not a website. I guess the website should be something like www.celtel.com However, if you want to apply via e-mail just attach your CV to the e-mail you want to send.
@ abakinola,
What i meant by cover letter is simply a letter of application you are going to send with your CV. Normally if you are applying for a job you send an application letter with your CV, abi? So simply type an aplication letter and attach your CV before sending to the above e-mail address,ok? I strongly suggest you use the e-mail since its the one they indicated.

@ stillkay,
I was only just passing on the info I got from a friend, i guess people like you will always have something negative to say about everything, I'm not bothered.
@ funfavour,
I suggest you just send your CV to the e-mail you never know. For God's sake, don't forget to send a covering/application letter with it

A man meets a fine lady in an aeroplane. Not knowing how to strike up a coversation he says, "Let's play a game, you ask me a question, if I don't get it I'll give you $500, I ask you a question if you don't get it you'll give me $500." "Not interested'" the lady answers. The man says, "Ok, I ask you a question, if you don't get it you'll give me $5, then you ask a question, if I don't get it I'll give you $500" the lady agrees. "You go 1st", the man says. "what goes up a hill with 4 legs and comesdown with 3 legs?" the lady asks. The man thought and thought, checked the internet on his laptop, called his friends, but couln't get the answer. Defeated he hands over $500. Not able to conceal his curiousity, he asks, "What is the answer?" The lady sighs and hands over $5.

Holy cow!!! What a laugh

A boy wants to make love with his girlfriend. Immediately they got into the bedroom, the girls suggests, "Let's do 69." "What is 69?" asks the boy. Sensing that the boy was inexperienced, the girl explains, " You put your head between my legs and I put mine between your legs." Still not understanding, the boy agrees. However, as he put his head between the girls legs, the girl lets out a loud smelly fart. Startled, the boy withdraws his head. The girl embrassed, apologises, "Sorry, that won't happen again." As the boy again put his head between the girl's legs, the girl lets out another loud smelly fart. The boy immediately gets up and starts dressing. "Where are you going?" the girl asks. The boy replies, "If you think I'm gonna stick around for the other 67, you must be bleeped up in the head!"

well guys, I don't know if they recruit anyone, my guess is since they don't specify they probably take anyone regardless of your course as far as you have a good university degree.

Jeez!!! This is the best stuff I've heard all day! The kid is good, they should make him the chairman