₦airaland Forum

Come on, I asked for advice not insult

Am I crazy or what? My boyfriend and I planned to go to the UK for masters together and also know possibly further our relationships, get engaged and married this time frame. I hate long distance relationship, infact I do not want to try it again. He got an interview for Shell, which I am happy for but I now have mixed feelings, that if he gets it, he would not go again or start travelling about and I may be tempted to start another relationship close to me.

He said if he gets it, he would engage me or better still continue with the job, i'm presently working with that i detest and he also said he could get a study leave next year for his masters. I don't know if I'm crazy for having mixed feelings about this or what would you advise me?

I have about three very serious and good guys that all want marriage and despite the fact I'm dating and have known one of them deeply, family, nature, character very well and I do care about him, the other guys are still good men.

My question here is also for those that are married, what does one do in this case to assure no mistake is made and there would be losses in that it is only one of them I could marry.

slimyem: which is most def. hypocrisy ...and a lie.
Truth is most girls above the age of 20 have constant thoughts of marriage in their minds...among other things.
It is the girls whose only and sole purpose marriage is that i have a problem with...
...but saying you(as a girl above the age of 20) do not think about marriage even after Nysc...is a blatant lie from the pits of hell!
Op's just selling her self-righteousness...and i'm not buying!

You got it all wrong slimyem. I never said I didn't want to get married or don't think of marriage, as a matter of fact, I do. I am only referring to the rate at which people have asked me and has got me thinking maybe, that should be my next phase with my present job.

I am about passing out this present batch and when people ask me what next, their emphasis is always on marriage. One told me, now I'm passing out, when am I giving them invitation and another talked to me when I plan on settling down. Is that what most people do, after NYSC, plan on getting married? Not like I don't want to get married soon, of course but I was just surprised when both of them at different times after congratulating me talked about marriage being next.

@ Idowuogbo

u r the dang f0000l




@Franklinton
He does love me a lot. i was only here asking because I find out even when I try to be mean to him intentionally to see if he would react, he would be overly nice so I hae learnt to accept him that way. I was only concerned that I would also appreciate and want him to not accept being taken for granted.

Mr, Cork:
LAkusa they hate you                                    ,                                                              

80 views & only 1  response from slimyam  .

YOU NEED TO REPENT!!   .                                                                                                     

                                                                                                              

LOL Mr cork guess I'm gonna delete it then

Thanks slimyem for ur reply

tellwisdom:
Lakirikirissa, re u suffering from abortion syndrome?

I reject it

freecocoa:
Nna eh don't you ever get tired of this?btw this topic has been discussed before why post it again?

Ooop have I? Sorrryyy then topic deleted

You have this very good guy, kind at heart, financially stable and not bad looking but :

1) He's very emotional
2) Dress/fashion sense needs some improvement
3) Somewhat romantic

He has a good body structure but I'm sure would be more confident working out and looking fit, maybe that would boost his confidence but I don't want to keep repeating it so he doesn't think I'm trying to change him.

Ladies what's your take?

What are ways to deal with a very emotional boyfriend who loves you way more than you love him and is it really a good thing?

You have a very, very, very good guy who is very emotional and sensitive, is that enough to end the relationship or you would go ahead?

scottN:
^^^^^^^
Unfortunately a lotta gurls who proclaim 2 luv dia bfs will neva eva do it bt instead continue 2 complain.

That sucks. I'm not here complaining but asking how to go about it without hurting his feelings

~Killz~:
[color=#000030]That being the case, how come you are always complaining about your boyfriends? How come you always expect perfection from them even when it's very obvious that perfection is not obtainable? Are you a beauty goddess yourself? What is more important to you? A guy that cares about you, Or a "perfect" guy who cares less about you?[/color]

The previous was just about the distance, that's all and this, I'm not complaining but simply asking how to go about it without making him feel bad

~Killz~:
[color=#000030]Is it the LDR boyfriend, or the one you replaced him with? [/color]

Lol ldr bf and I have broken up since

Dyt:
bring him up 2 ur taste ma'am

How?

Ladies what would you do?

[quote][/quote]How old are you? You sound so pitiably lopsided & discombobulated! Is it safe? WTF!
What's the distance between Enugu and Imo state? And why is it so hard for you to go to Mbaise and make your research, or better still send someone more "matured" to go?

Is it safe for a lady from Mbaise to marry a dumb guy from Enugu?


Sexkillz, you used to be one of the best posters alongside Mrbrownjay and a few others but now
There is absolutely nothing wrong with the question this poster has asked. I have also heard that too and people always talk about Mbaise people. Instead of insulting him or making people look like fools, try and reason and understand sometimes and offer advice if you have to.

freecocoa:
Ah Op finally?thank God for your life atleast no more my LDR this my LDR that,what a relief for you.

@Topic,is there anything like the one? Cos me I never see am.

Well it's both sides, a relief but I'm also hurt. And as for the one, I mean, husband/wife.

sexkillz:
[color=#000030]Wait a second! Loving genuinely means your heart must be broken? Is that what you meant?[/color]

I'm not inferring it's a must but it's nature. You would naturally feel hurt/broken or is there any remedy/solution you have not to?

claremont:
It has absolutely nothing to do with strength, he has chosen to walk the path of common sense. Long distance relationships defy common sense, normal human beings should date/mate with people who live/work/play around them.

I agree with you but he was the one who insisted on it since I was going to come back after a year. I wanted to end it initially but he kept insisting and then few months, he chose to walk the path of common sense? I see

sexkillz:
[color=#000030]It's subjective to individuality, therefore, no one can give you a definite response!. . . By the way, some hearts NEVER get broken![/color]

Then I guess it meant they NEVER LOVED genuinely.

r231:
453 times

And you are still breathing?

bekay911:
Never for once and will never

Are you or have you been in relationship(s)?

Dyt:
wow
finally babe?
well dere r sm we meet n dey give us reasons y d previous ones neva worked

Yeah finally though it hurts but it will be fine, I believe.

I have just broken up with my long distance boyfriend. I guess he wasn't too strong enough to deal with the distance as I have been dealing with it especially since we agreed on a year but the bottom line is I genuinely give love and still end up getting heartbroken. Not like there are no guys at all but I try to be very careful by selecting the good ones.

My question here for those that have finally seen the one, as in engaged/getting married, how many times did you get your heart TRULY broken before finally finding the final one?

jay bee:
smh

Why now? it's a serious question.

There is this guy I met and told him about my distant relationship and all but he still agreed to date me that he really likes me and then asked me to be his girl. I felt it was too fast but agreed because he is really a good guy. On my bb display pic, I had put a picture of myself in a flowy dress above my knee and my legs were showing not all the way to the top, innocently and then he sent me a message that there are some pictures to be shown between lovers and the outside world. If I was really dating him and would someday be his wife, this is not the kind of pic to display that it would attract boys. He now said maybe we should just date since he feels he doesn't know me too well because of the picture.

I told my friends who said he was right and I should do all not to lose him so nairalanders, am i in the wrong here and what can I do. Thanks

Please I seriously seek opinions and advice in this particular matter. Aside having a relationship far/near and even those that are very serious and want commitment, why do I find it out to help my friends get men of their own. For example, I have a lot of men in my life, not men as in random men but those that want commitment, maybe three of them even though they know of my long distance, yet when friends I have that are single tell me to hook them up, I always pretend like I would but would never do so. There is an atom of jealousy, that the guy I would give them would be better than mine.

A friend of mine was telling me how a guy that was trying to woo me but I was talking to others asked her out and she is already in love, instead of me to be happy, I started feeling jealous even though I have others. I kept telling myself it's bad, you cannot have them all to yourself.

Please how do I get to stop this negative feeling? I know it's not good.

How does one deal with annoying parents or rather an annoying parent especially the mum? They say honor your father and mother so you live long but how do you do it when this is beyond correction or wanting the best but rather it is done in a way where there is comparison, always being brought down, false accusations and lack of appreciation almost everyday even when you try to avoid them or change for the better.

How would you deal with these?

Cuddlemii:
Babes, you still dey this same level with this your LDR guy. Why do you keep stressing yourself all the time. Its either you don't love him or you do. Its either you want to be with him or you don't want to be with him.

Every time you keep posting the same thing. Your happiness and peace of mind is what is important, just find the guy that would give you those two lovely things and if your bf is giving them to you then stick with him and please reduce the stress because you are too young 4 it. Hope this is not how you stress him, I am just asking because you need to chill and enjoy life. Life is a risk, what would be would be. Try and concentrate on your own development and do things that makes Lacrissa happy and fulfilled (be selfish like that), every other thing would fall into place.

I'm still on the same level only because of the distance at the moment. And then I cannot keep rejecting the good guys I've seen so far all because I'm trying to depend on my ldr bf, that's why it seems complicated. I want to or I'm actually focusing on me but I also know time waits for no one so now they are coming and rushing for me, don't want to make the mistake of shutting the door

I know I am somewhat young but I do have friends that already have stable relationships. I'm dealing with my long distance relationship in which he is indeed a good guy and focused but I have also come across other guys here, though I've been able to pick about 2 I've gotten to know (don't want to put all my eggs in one basket before I get disappointed) and they seem so far like very good men. How can one be able to choose the right one to settle with if they are all good and you seem to like them all?

iice:
[color=#9900ff]lol at these stingy topics.

When someone doesn't have, he/she doesn't have. What's there to differentiate?
A stingy person is miserly. Unwilling to spend even if they want the thing. Sometimes to the extent of forgoing basic comforts in order to save and hoard his/her money.[/color]

The reason why I am asking is that my long distance boyfriend who I'm beginning to lose feelings for is working two (2) jobs but still saying the money has not started coming in well, that he is struggling, that's why he even got a second job and that is the reason why he has not been able to spoil me or give me nice things which he wishes he would be doing. I'm not complaining but every now and then I think about it, 2 jobs and yet, you don't have enough money to even at least send me a small gift or what?
I don;t want to believe he is stingy, that's why I'm trying to differentiate as soon as possible.

If I have for example 1000 naira and you as my lover needs like 200, just because I don't really have a lot, it would stop me from giving like 150 @ least so my question is how can you really differentiate between a boyfriend that is just plain stingy and one that perhaps does not really have money to give to you at times?

Dyt:
well dis s happenin cos one jobless dude s givin u attention

No word for u

jay bee:
Lacrissa again?
Take that flight down here and lemme rescue you

Are you abroad too at the moment?

It's been more than 6 months and he is still showing me love over the phone, skype etc but I'm beginning to lose feelings and sometimes feel like just ending the relationship and start a new one but my fear of not finding another or a good one keeps me in. I don't know if this is bad I'm feeling this way.

sexkillz:
[color=#000055][size=14pt]Lmao! I'll choose how to answer you! Insulting or not! You arent the only one in a long term/long distance relationship! I've done it all, and i as hell know what i'm ranting about, so listen! And you are quite popular with your childish questions and way of reasoning. . . If you dont understand the semantics of a relationship, and the sacrifices needed to hold it strong, you have NO business, being in one!

Now, grow the hell up! And stop the bickering. It's becoming a bore. I wonder how that dude puts up with you![/size][/color]

Yawns go and sleep abeg You know what is funny, people like you that come on the internet portraying mr perfect and all that, in reality most times, you have the worst type of relationship or not really who you are.

claremont:
Long distance relationships has its own unique challenges, it's not for the faint-hearted. I for one would rather date the devil who is located around where I live/work/play, than date the angel living miles away. A guy/lady who can be patient enough to indulge in a long distance relationship is a rare breed indeed, I don't understand the reasoning behind long distance relationships though.

It all depends but this instance being talked about here is you dating the person for quite a while and then circumstance arises and one of you has to move far away.