₦airaland Forum

PTBNaija:
I think the OP already mentioned that they are not having a sexual relationship, I think?

I have to agree with what a lot of people are already saying, and suggest that you really think about it. I know you said that you are not sure, but it comes across to me like you are attracted to him. You mentioned that you are enjoying the closeness, but you really have to think if it is the closeness of just friends. Is your relationship strictly like the one you share with your other friends?

Are you guys dating already (wasn't sure about that part)? You have to ask yourself what exactly is holding you back from a relationship from this guy. Are you afraid of something? Have you had other bad experiences? If you are dating, and you enjoy his company and the time you are spending together it is only normal that it would escalate into a relationship.

One more thing that you need to think about is the implications of continuing, or discontinuing. Would you be able to handle the fact that he may pull away from you if you say no? Or would it bother you if he started seeing someone else? What exactly would change if you were in a relationship with him and would you be okay with that?

When he met me and approached me, he was hollering. So it was more like we went on dates to know each other and he was falling but he was still healing from his relationship and said he wants nothing serious, that we would just be friends which I agreed because I wasn't ready. Though we did kiss on some occasions but that was about it. Now him telling me he does like me and is attracted made me confused. I just smiled and told him I didn't know he did. I would not want to lose him in anyway but how do I even go about it? maybe I am too comfortable the way we are.

livedit:
How long has your friend been broken up and how long have you two been "hanging" out together will play a big part in this.  Because if he is recently broken up, then more than likely you will become a rebound.  So you truly want to be extra careful with this.  It maybe possible that he do "love" you, but it could be only as a friend. 

He told you in the beginning that he is fresh out of a relationship and isn't looking for anything "serious" right now.  That don't necessarily mean that his feelings can't change too.  How do YOU feel about this guy in YOUR heart?  Are you comfortable leaving things as they way there are or do you want to try escalating this into a "relationship"? 

In my opinion, I would just go with the flow.  I'm not sure if you two had "relations" yet, but that will also cloud your judgement and his too!  If you two are intimate right now, I say you may want to chill on that until you figure out exactly what you want out this relationship.  I'm not saying yall can't go hang out and kick it in that sense. But the intimacy definitely needs to be placed on hold until you figure out what you want and if either of you want to keep things as they are as good FWB or turn it into a romance.

No we have not had sex yet. I do like him but I feel I have gotten too comfortable with the friendship part but at the same time, he is someone I could date. maybe i just wasn't expecting it especially when he has over emphasized on the being friends part.

mediatrix8:
Listen to your heart and follow what is telling you, remember great friendship from the start is a good foundation of deeper relationship.

Lol, I don't know what my heart is telling me. All I know is he is very good looking and above all, he treats me sooooo well!

MRbrownJAY:
@Poster
it doesnt matter what HE wants, if YOU are not ready or willing to have a relationship with him then say so and let HIM accept it or bounce.
if he has a problem with it then this friendship was not meant to be, et voila!

I didn't tell him anything, just smiled and we are still talking but have not brought it up again.

iice:
[color=#9900ff]Did you break up with your guy?[/color]

Yeah i did.

y me:
in this case the decision is your's dear
do you really feel you want to take that friendship you two both has to a relationship level?
because you said you weren't ready for nothing serious

you need to sit down and answer that question

I'm even confused. i'm not ready for anything serious doesn't mean I would welcome one if it happened at the right time. Maybe I feel we are too close or is he ready and all that.

Carolece:
It is said and have proven that, when you include sex (relationships) in a friendship it changes the whole friendship thing, and it will never get back to what it was. No one can tell you what to do or where your heart is leaning to most. Think it out carefully and make your decision.

Osama10:
I am very sure that when sex comes in the whole friendship thing would never be the same again.

Are you ready to give up the friendship?

Yeah i know sex def changes everything. The most we have done is make out as in just a passionate kiss but we were both confused if we are ready and if it's the both of us. Right now I am still thinking are we already too close? We make jokes, tease each other and open up at the same time, he is a dateable guy.

There is this friend of mine a guy who got out of a long term relationship so when he met/approached me, he was trying to holla. But as we got closer and hung out more as friends, he kept emphasizing on the fact, he was just dating, no relationship, he wants to take his time and all that. I told him that was fine with me because I was not even interested in a relationship yet so we got closer, you know friends.
Then one day, he asked me if I liked him, of course I laughed like it was a joke especially when everyday he would be emphasizing to me "we are just friends" which I fought with him on numerous occasions because I wasn't even doing anything with him to suggest other wise, we were just friends.
He later admitted to me, he has started to have feelings for me and is very attracted to me and even one day sent me a message "I love you".

I don't know what to do now because I love our friendship, closeness, maybe like him too but am i really ready for a relationship, I am not sure yet. Was just enjoying the way we were. What do I do in this case, in order not to lose him totally in this case?

zubeyr:
Mafe your story I think is genuine I will be glad to offer you a Job in N Y City if you are interested Good luck

If I may ask, what kind of job? I might be interested.

There is a guy I have known for few months that offered his friendship to me and even offered to help me with a job I have been trying to get. At some he made his interest known to me about settling but i told him we should be friends even when he knew i was already in a relationship that was not going so well, I told him I was not ready to jump into another or give him what he is looking for at the moment. He kept declaring his love and i told him, i do appreciate but he should look somewhere else as i needed to just take my time.
Of recent, i did not hear from him as much and just decided to check upon him. he now told me to please stop calling him, that he loves me and wants to forget about me. he wants to see if he could love someone else and settle down and marry and all that talk. my reply to him was just like that? and i told him ok.
My question here all, is his action justified? or totally unnecessary and childish? Did i act wrong?

E! confirmed she is. Or is she?

http://www.usmagazine.com/momsbabies/news/source-beyonce-is-pregnant-20102010

Mr-Cork:
Big Deal, She aint even light skin, She not gots Nyansh and she look IBO (no oofeinse)

You suck!!!!!! n definitely tooo dry. This is irritating. R u trying to be funny or sumthin?

Mr-Cork:
BUT WHO ARE THISESE IBO PEOPLE?? (no oofeiinse)

This guy u r toooo dry. Not funny @ all.

MRbrownJAY:
^^^^^dont you think that it all depends of what that person's aspirations are? how can someone miss something they have never experience and have NO chance of experiencing?!

automatically believing that a 30yr old woman is more mature and ready for marriage than a 20yr old would have you fail because some women at 30 (or even 40) have also YET TO SEE WHAT THE WORLD HAS TO OFFER
btw: is a woman who've "seen what the world has to offer" better than one who hasnt?!

as for your 99% claim, its all down to maturity. some people marry at 18yrs old and live wonderful lives, just because most 20yr old you meet want to sell their coochie for a BB, doesnt mean they are all like that. i would rather say its a 60%.

Good answer. Exactly. Those saying that 20 year old are immature, how many older ladies/men have failed marriages?

Creamish:
Ul prolly have tall kids . .xcpt uv got short parents . .


finally finally sha. . .make una do, born first.

lol, yes my parents are tall.

Tink_sh:
No, it doesnt mean anything. Im a shorty and my son is very tall. Taller than me already. It in the genes. My grandmothers side was tall. 5,9 isnt short anyway, well not to my 5,2!! hehehe!!!

Trust me, when your children are here you wont care anyway!

What's your boyfriend/husband's height?

Specialist900:
what's your point?na wa o

No need to even answer them, I ignore people like that.

na_so:
For a guy 5'9 is average, definitely not a short person. For a lady 5'9 is above average in some cases could pass for a tall lady. In most cases a lady that is 5'9 should have brothers that are 6+. It is very very unlikely that you  guys will have short kids. The worst is that they will be of average height.

Na 5.6 dem use dey join police and army o.

Yeah all my family members are tall, brothers, I am actually the shortest in my family at 5'9"-5'10".

fubiluv:
Its all about the genetic factors.
Surprisingly,you guys make give birth to very tall children.(if tallness is in your gene).
Ordinarily,its not very advisable  b/cos of the future of your kids, lo!

what is not advisable?

Omolola1:
u dnt need to bother yourself about height, their welfare should be the most important thing~

I understand, of course I would be concerned about their welfare but c'mon, I also want the best for them. No one really wants short kids.

queeneve:
Inkie,

You just reminded me something, there this one chick who only dates asian men because she said that she doesn't want her children to have nappy hair and she didn't care if they weren't healthy as long as they had "GOOD HAIR" whatever the fucck that mean,

I swear people worry about the DUMBEST THINGS, and wonder why they don't have the blessings they deserve, Appreciate what you do have AND MAKE THE BEST OUT OF IT,

How is this dumb? So because you don't want your kids short, that's not appreciating them? C'mon.

In response to the girls disliking short men, if a woman is 5'9 and her husband or boyfriend is also 5'9, would the children be short?

maedan:
20 yr old girls should date 20 yr old or 20-24 guys. Unless you are in for a serious relationship ie marriage, then you 29 and above should leave such young girls alone. Huh!

Where did you get that info from? or conclusion? A 20 year old girl can date even a 30 year old man and above, nothing wrong with that.

Most people would say prayers and you would find the right one but we have seen that also sometimes even pastors divorce or beat their wives or commit some other atrocities, so before marriage or even long term relationship, how can you really tell a good man from those that deceive?

Most people would say prayers and you would find the right one but we have seen that also sometimes even pastors divorce or beat their wives or commit some other atrocities, so before marriage or even long term relationship, how can you really tell a good man from those that deceive?

TheCongo:
Someone had replied to a similar post with the question "Are you a marriage material ?"

Nevertheless, check this post to get some insight:

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-350090.0.html

ifyalways:
@Poster,Are u male or female
For Females,i say YES YES YES over and over again,howver if u are a Male . . alot of things have to be considered.

I am a female, Thanks

boy1:
There's no specific age 2 get married(but it would be nice if u start a family b4 25 with d right guy)
Do it when u r matured enough and ready. . (divorce is not healthy)

Thanks all,

@ poster you got it from media take out.

I am in my early 20's and most people around me tell me there's more to marriage, hardships and all but I really want to settle down at that age and most especially have my first child by 25. Am I just fantasizing? I don't think I am, that's just my wish. Is it wrong to be thinking this way?

I am in my early 20's and most people around me tell me there's more to marriage, hardships and all but I really want to settle down at that age and most especially have my first child by 25. Am I just fantasizing? I don't think I am, that's just my wish. Is it wrong to be thinking this way?

from few sources

olas2u:
It body is still tear rubber now and you are very attractive i guess,but i know very beautiful women that are now 30 something,they were once like you,they must have ignored all the guys then in there 20,s and now nothing is coming up.

That's my fear, I see lots of old single women even competing with the younger ones. I don't want to be like that.

Onchedu:
Be smart and hang on to the best of them till U are ready. In the mean time work on whatever it is that's making them come to U. If it's a character strength, polish it and they won't go away till one of them or someone else has U.

Many girls your age usually feel they are too young for marriage. Three to four years later they wonder where the marriable men went to. 7years after they settle for anything in pants.

Be smart. Talk to your mum about it. Hopefully she wll give U good advice.

I agree with you

petebor02:
well at 21 u aren't too young, some are married at age 13,so 21 is three good year above the right age of 18 under law.but the problem is they are many who are after u like u said.

Yeah and I know a few of them are good, that's why i don't want to lose them. Who says there's a guarantee later on, there would be guys like them or better?

jennykadry:
Lacrissa again?

Have you finished fornicating?

SA Goddess:
That is very harsh!

SA Goddess, Leave the I%DIOT! She is prolly worse than the devil! She isn't worth paying attention to.

People always say God has that special person for you that you would know who God has for you. My question is how would you know since God is not going to come down or tell you, this is the one especially when there are more than 5 caring and special people in your life, that they care and vice versa, How would you know the one amongst them?

I am 21, wouldn't say too young for marriage but i have started meeting guys, not just any guy but guys that want to settle down and most of them are good men. I am a little bit nervous and scared though it feels good they see me as a wife material but is it better to wait and keep meeting people till a certain age or what do I do?

@post
Umm let's just say I'm guilty of that. I sometimes give my number out even if I know I'm not interested to keep 'em coming, leaving my phone occupied. Even though I don't answer, as long as it rings.

Damn!!! I remember her too. This just shivers me. Death is for everyone Rest in Peace.

It's a lie!!! I remember this woman. RIP