₦airaland Forum

What are you bringing along with you?

Firearm:
U see the problem?

What do u actually want?

Love or money?

I think u are more confused than I tot and actually lack focus

Where is dat my sledge hammer

Was it French I spoke? Why are you relating the question to me? Just answer the question.

A guy that cheats on you, not being so honest but spends on you most times without asking OR a guy that treats you very well, as in honest and respects you more than the other guy but does not really spend money on you or mostly waits for you to ask. Which would you pick and why?

Fhemmmy:
Thanks for rubbing it in oh.
I am sure if i see gala now, i might not even recognize it, i have not seen gala for over 5 years . . . . 

I'm not rubbing it now, just saying the truth

By the way where r u located? I have a friend I told that when his mumsy is coming, to bring some gala, he said he has people that come almost every now and then and I mentioned the gala to him, he said sure. So just in case that works out, you might be lucky to fulfil your long dream of eating some gala

@ Poster
I have a friend that came from Nigeria and brought lots of gala for someone so I was only able to get like 5 from her and have eaten 2 I wish i could help here but they are tempting.
noticed Gala changed the old wrapper.

Hey guys thanks for your opinions. The break according to him was to miss me and see what it was like without me but it wasn't more than a week and it feels much stronger than before the break. He seems to want me more.

They say friendship is the key to a successful relationship but at the same we know sometimes, not all we call our friends are also those we consider relationship materials or have chemistry with? So how does one maintain friendship while having an intimate (boyfriend/girlfriend) relationship?

Onchedu:
If I like a girl and want her to show interest in me I appreciate the interests she shows as long as it doesnt come off as too sudden, too good to be true or obsessive.

Men are more logical than emotional and I think I speak for most guys when I say we like to know what your interest on us is based and that we earned it.

If your interested in a guy, let him know why. unless he's only interested in getting in your pants a guy wants to know it's him U like not just the idea of "a guy" hanging around U.

How can a guy know you like him for him and not just the idea of a guy hanging around you? What is the difference?

MRbrownJAY:
the minute we meet women, we discover stuff about y'all. the minute you open your mouth to say hello, the minute you act, we discover more about you and all these instances can be a reason to back off.
you really think that men need to be shown your bad side?! some men can see it in you before you even show it by.

remember that how you see yourself might not be how he sees you.

you got mail!

Wow, So much to learn about men and keep learning. BTW U got mail again! Same 'ol issue.

Faher:
I think we're dragging the issue too far. It's all down to you, make it work or end the show

Thanks for your concern and help.

Faher:
What's the age difference?
are you older than him?
When you declared your feelings, how did he react?

He's older, about 12 yrs older. When I did so he wouldn't walk away, he decided to stay.

n-guage:
Not just men, human beings can be weird, especially in matters relating to the opposite gender. Maybe declaring your feelings for him made him more relaxed and now he's sure he has you in the bag already. Call him before stop asking us.

We are already on a break.

Faher:
Can you explain the words in bold? why was it not in your original post?
Seems you're misleading us, no?

I meant, we were dating, yes maybe he had feelings for me and I showed I did but just never told him. I took it easy until he wanted to walk away due to age difference and him not sure if I was really feeling him. I then declared my feelings to him.

MRbrownJAY:
@poster
what about if the guy realized that this gal wasnt what he had expected (wasnt all that) and that under all the pretense and make up, she had no substance. should he continue show interest for the sake of your ego?

its funny how some women think that if a man start to show interest, then he should do so for the rest of his natural life. . . . . . . . . . . . . .like it being some kind of unwritten contract. LOL!

That's not what I mean. Even before the woman starts showing the bad side, even while she's still good.

BTW MrBrownJay, pls check your email still concerning the same issue.

A-40:
How long did it take for you to reciprocate the interest cos sometimes its all about the timing! You might be saying yes when he simply got tired of holding his breath and is just about walking out the door. He probably may stay back to justify the time he's wasted cos men are logical by nature but things would not quite be the same

I'm not really speaking for myself but in general but speaking of myself now, there was no long timing neither did I play hard to get. I just never declared any feelings, was going with the flow until he wanted to walk out due to age difference not even more than a month and I expressed my feelings.

Faher:
@OP

It could be because of the "you played hard-to-get for too long" concept OR
because he wants you to like him more and so would behave uninterested
So that you'll fall madly in love with him due to his "I'm-ignoring-you" behavior which a lot of ladies seem to like.
It works sometimes, I've tried it.

cantell:
@Topic,
Accepting a guy sooner doesn't make a lady cheap, like some women would think.
Some guys hate women who play hard to get and when they see that kind of women, they either do everything to get them and then dump them later or they'll back out without trying.
Just like its difficult for women to get a man , so it is for men.
Men have a better advantage but it doesn't make things easier. Just a bit diiferent.
So if guys are leaving when you decide to go out with them, it probably means you made them wait for too long or the goods didn't worth the price.
Ciao.

Not always the case. I don't think so and I never played hard to get. I have always been real.

Faher:
Relationship issues have no time line, lady.
Go along with your heart, it's not the 100M dash nor the cross country race

So if your partner asks for a break and your heart decided to move on, would you just move on or give a specific time frame before deciding to move on?

You want a woman and show interest, she becomes interested in you too, then you begin to withdraw or back off? Why is this so? Let us ladies know!

Some say a week, 2 weeks, a month? What is or could be the best time frame to give him/her a break as they requested before getting together to talk or just simply move on?

bonnylight:
@Poster: what u did is a general trend that is pervading our society to that extent I will not blame u totally but blame the race to the moral bottom in our society. You found a guy that is older than you and loves you deeply. He has demonstrated his love for u time and time again. You acted immature - u were very selfish in your outlook on life. You only thought of what makes you happy. Did u think of what makes him happy? There is a law of Karma. Don't forget that what u sow today, u will reap 2 mrw. Men want wife materials not chics. It is obvious that you are still acting like a chic. But remember one thing, you have just lost a gem. Goodbye!!

wow!!!! Who says he loves me deeply? If he did, I don't think there would be a break plus what did I do wrong that deserves karma? I'm on here asking for help and advice so I don't lose him. What have I done? Are you sure you read my story well?

Absu:
:DJust having la1/2 day here.Think d poster is nt planning about settling down due 2 2much age on her side

what am I doing now that shows I don't want to settle?

Nenum:
hmmmmmmmmmmmm.

well said Tolutara.

but i dont tink she did wrong telling the guy the truth.
cuz if after cooling his heels they get back 2geda n he latter finds out (dnt wanna imagine the outcome)

@poster, if he is yours he would come back. (and trust me i adore your honesty, as lying is one tin i can never take)

if i am asked to choose btw a LovePeddler and a lie teller (trust me d LovePeddler has just got a new bobo)

Thanks for understanding, maybe yes it was unnecessary but my intention was harmless. All the same, I've learnt.

Missy B:
According to her, the man is 12 older than she is.
Little wonder the Dude wants a break. I'm sure he couldn't put up with her jejune behavior anymore. 

While You're in a 'break' process with John, You're sleeping at Peter's place.
Hello?!! One would expect You to be doing some rumination as well.

Why does he want a break? - Important question You shoulda been busy cracking.
You people sef!! 

Missy B please take it easy. I've learnt my lesson but my intention was for something else. It was a job offer in a different State. Maybe it did not occur to me that way but like I said, let me take it as a mistake and lesson next time but he is not even about the whole thing anymore. The break was something else and him reflecting.

tolutara:
MS B,

u No see wetin I see,  na we ladies go dey say, men this Men that, gosh!!!!!, no wonder Men are not being honest with ladies anymore.

Dude said he needed a break not a break up, !!!! What she needs to do is to have him define the break , how long and the rules that govern it and
determine a time when the will review their time apart and make a decision how to forge ahead either separately or jointly.

I understand you though no specific timing was concluded.

Missy B:
Ma Dear . . . . .  the poster, as well as her boyfriend, is confuse!!!
The Girl is always in one trouble or anatha, with her man. Na she get Boyfriend pass? 

You said it all in Your previous comment . . . .Welldone!

which girl? referring to me??

Faher:
Learn from your mistake

Thank you Faher, I would.

tolutara:
Lacrissa, Lacrissa, Lacrissa

I believe I have called you 3 times,

Girl, you are behaving like an unfinished and uncultured girl instead of being a lady.

A lady who respects herself and claims she loves this man will give him the time to think about his future with you. he has said as much,but you conveniently looked for an opportunity to hang with a dude that likes you and taking stuff from him (basically taking advantage of that Guy's feelings) but you want your feelings to be respected . No wonder he is cooling his heels with you. He can see he is not dealing someone matutre.

You are  not even smart enough to keep your mouth shut but you  told the man you are trying to keep you with another guy??( what exactly were you trying to achieve by tell him)?? , are listing to yourself at all . Then you have the audacity to ask him if he wanted to breakup. If he was smart, I hope he does.


I remember people here on NL told you give him the time he needs to make up his mind, but no, Lacrissa did not hang out with her girlfriends but instead a dude  or better yet, look inward and see if there was somethings she did to contribute to the issue at hand. She is there asking dumb questions .

Girl, you really have no business dating right now. You need to mature some more as you will only hurt yourself and others in the process, IMO.


So to your question if you should end it yourself, Newsflash Girl, you already did. Hope you are happy

Faher:
^^^ You've said it all, Tolutara



You sound quite immature (no offense intended). What you should have done is wait, If you have to audacity to run off with someone else every time you have a dispute with your bf, then you shouldn't be in a relationship 'cos your future relationships will be tougher than this one. If you keep running off, you'll be forever single . ^{Just my 2 cents}

Ok as harsh as you both sound, I understand where you are coming from. It was a job offer I got, which I told him I would not be in town for few days but kept in touch all through and I am already back. I did not run off with any dude. I still assured him, it was him I wanted while I wait but at the same time unsure If I'm prolonging my disappointment. I agree I should not have told him but it is a mistake, never to be repeated again.

hollandis:
Are you a LovePeddler?

What sorta question? That's an insult1 and to answer, NO i'm not.

hollandis:
It is obvious she doesn't like her bf.She wants him to break up with her OFFICIALLY and FINALLY

If I did not like him, I wouldn't be here asking on what to do

big father:
Just becus he said he wanted a break,then you too a hike with another guy and you want him to to hug and jump all over you ? Gurlfriend, you've simply asked yourself out of the game.

I did not go to hike any other guy. He's a guy I've known that wanted to help me with stuffs and was I stupid letting him know. I was even still keeping in touch where I was.

makajibbz:
true spit, the break means,they're things goin on wit his life that he wants to solve or family trouble,
break doesnt mean vacation with a handsome dude who liks you, i hope he 4gives you!

I did not plan to vacation with some other dude. Afterall I pleaded I did not want the break and also he said because of some of the harsh things I said when we argued and could also be his resistance because of the age difference that he wants to think through. I told him, if he wanted to end it, he should just tell me now, so I could close this chapter and he keeps saying no, how do I know he wants the worst?

Faher:
Let's say you asked for a break and you still had feelings for me. Then I went and vacationed with another chick, that'll be insulting to you and would make you want to end the relationship (even if you never planned to).

put your foot in his Nikes and you'll see that what you did was wrong.

Ok so what would I be expecting you to do? Sit down in your room and be crying, while I make decision? Leaving you confused?

Faher:

You've just made it easier for your bf to end it with you. I hope that's what you wanted and you're happy?

^{Seriously, why would I be happy that my gf went to holiday with another dude, when it's not as if we're swingers, smh}

But you asked for a break right?

Wow!!! wish them the best.

MrBrownJay, sent you an email about my issue. Pls check

stuffs4me:

Hmmmmm! girls! one of a kind. did u actually expect him to jump up for joy because u went somewhere and 'rolled in the hay' with some other dude?
well, u cant always eat your cake and have it all the time

How am I eating my cake and having it? He wants a break right? Whjat am I supposed to be doing? sit in my room and cry after I had told him I didn't want the break, or if he wants he should just tell me once and for all, it is over, let me open a new chapter and heal faster.

SA Goddess:
The man wants you to leave him alone while he thinks about what he wants to do with you, he may have decided already and you missed all the signs, read between the lines girl. Your dude chose his words well to avoid breaking your heart but it seems you are not hearing what he is saying, leave him alone, if he is yours, he will come back to you, no need to chase after him, he is a grown man who knows what he wants and right now, it is a break from YOU! Don't contact him, deal with your emotions and anticipate he may be gone for good, prepare for the worst so you won't get hurt if he does not come back!

I hope the above will give you something to think about,

Thanks for the above but is is very difficult. At least I made it easier for him to just tell me it's over but he keeps saying why am I expecting the worst? That it may not be totally my fault but him also resisting maybe because of the age that I should just be patient. My fear is just losing potentials or at a cross road not knowing if it's positive or wait till eternity for him to come tell me "it's over" when he could have just said it now.

What does it mean if a guy tells you during a so called break that you are not even giving him time to miss you, yet was so upset because you traveled and spent time with another guy (friend) that happens to like you. He said he was not happy with it maybe if it was a girlfriend that's different and then I told him that I am ready to hear the worst, that he should just tell me he does not want anymore and let's break up, he keeps saying No, that let him think through and I am not giving him time to think or even miss me.

I am getting confused. Should I be patient or end it myself?

Tashaluv:
Nice one, gal, ! I understand ya point but what amuses me is the fact that the person in ? isn't a kid. She's 23! . . @y'all, thanx 4 d adv.

Has she been in love or had a boyfriend? Has she been close to guys or let me say attractive? Like I said I used to feel that way wayyyyyyyyy younger but man! Now is a different story.

I wouldn't say she's a lesbian or so. I used to feel that way before. Couldn't imagine a man's thing in me or how on earth people did sex or enjoyed it but as I grew and first fell in love, others followed

Nenum1:
@poster: does it matter who said i luv u first.

for me i would trip for any girl dat has got d guts any day

r u sure? Because guys can be difficult. Wouldn't you be thinking she's desperate or take her for granted?

Would you like it if she tells you she loves you first and also just after 2 months? What would your reaction be?


And girls have you done it before?

Is 2 months too short to fall and be truly in love with someone for real?