₦airaland Forum

Please share your views and opinions. Where there any conflicts or obstacles? What are the set backs?

C'mon people please answer!!!

Ok I complained of twitter before but majority said it does not really matter. Now it is an ex he is tweeting "Night night lil mama. Hit me up". I know majority would say it is just twitter but this is how it starts and before you know it, something happens.

I dont know if this is a red flag or it is just me being unnecessarily paranoid also because of the long distance?

P.S.- He has not really done anything wrong for me to be suspicious and always proclaiming his love for me. he was even the one that told me about her, that she hit him up. I don't want to be left in the dark, as the saying goes, fool me once shame on you (pertaining to first ex), fool me twice shame on me (him now).

Na wa o, you peeps know how to turn one meaning into another. I'm not emphasizing on facebook, it was just a thought if it was your birthday, and he doesn't write on your wall but he does to every other person and even still calls some of them.

sexkillz:
Nawah o! What is facebook sef? What if the guy is not on facebook? Would your prefer him wishing you happy birthday on facebook? or calling to say Happy Birthday? But if he does it to other people, and doesnt do it to you, then i'm sorry, HE IS AN A.S.S!!!  https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/16.gif

Exactly my thought not like it's important but he or she does to other people but not you, a lil odd but not that serious as others are making it seem.

jay bee:
Lacrissaaaaaaaa
Oya come down to london lemme teach u some few thangs

\

Ticket money?

It's your birthday, does it matter to you if your boyfriend or girlfriend wishes you a happy birthday on facebook as he or she does to other people? Just a thought

Cuddlemii:
@op

There is stupidity with class and stupidity without intellect.

I can't believe you are asking this rubbish. I even respect the guy for giving you all the necessary signs and words. If you can not read between then I see why he is acting up. No one wants a dull brain.

Don't you have work to do or classes to attend? I think you are the one who made the guy to loose interest in the 1st place or you pushed him away, calling and demanding to be called back bla bla. You are a bugaboo. Get a life and stop choking the dude.

Geez r we fighting? Wat kinda insults r these? Oh well he called me to make things up so we have settled but I've learnt my lesson. Thanks

BABE!:
LMAO @ Fstranger.

OP: This your guy sha--Nawa. You're always here with his palava. Don't you think there' something wrong with y'alls relationship? You two need to get back to the drawing board and work things out.

Thanks we have worked it out.

sexkillz:
Lacrissa, Lacrissa, Lacrissa!!! How many times did i call you? I advised you some weeks ago to stop calling this boy frequently, else he wont really appreciate your worth!. . . That said. I know that you are in a long distance relationship. So i just understand how you feel. I'm sorry to tell you that your boyfriend is an A.S.S! Yes! Na me talk am, Quote me anywhere! But again you caused it. . . But you are not wrong Either, he is WRONG! Lemme explain! You see, he loves you quite alright, very much at that but the problem is that HE IS NOT MISSING YOU! That's why he forgot to call you! You were sick and he should have shown concern but he didn't. He feels you are bugging, tracing and monitoring him with your frequent calls! Here's what you'll do! Send him a text and Apologize! PLS DONT CALL HIM! JUST TEXT! Tell him you are ok with the break! After that, Remove him as your friend on facebook, twitter and everywhere! Just let him Be Girl! If he is truly Yours, he'll Call you under a week! If he doesnt call you means he is not yours and he doesnt deserve you! MAKE SURE YOU NEVER CALL HIM AGAIN AFTER YOU SEND THAT TEXT! You see, If you love a Bird, Let it go, if it comes back, it's yours, if it doesn't,. . . . . . I think you catch my Gibberish!

I totally agree with everything you've said. Advice heeded!


Thanks everyone, I've read your opinions and advice and would yield to them.

iragbijile:
Lets talk over the phone?

Where in America are you?

I will explain everything to you, pretty comprehensive analysis of your problem, I promise.

Mostly psychological though. But I will tell you more when we finally talk. How old are you BTW?

pls reply here so other people can learn too or if u want an email but would prefer here. thanks for your help

iragbijile:
^^^

You are wrong.


Yes, you are wrong. If I were you. i'd kill myself.

How am I wrong?

I was sick and called my bf a day before and the next day he didn't call me so I felt disappointed @ least to know how I was doing but then the convo turned to us taking a break. He apologised that he was busy that's why he couldn't and he was wrong but I was still hurt. I was hurt because even before he said sorry he kept saying I should outweigh his good and it was just once.
To cut the story short he said we should take a break that he is s free spirit to call when he wants to. I told him I never bugged him to call all the time but I was sick.

Who was wrong here and what should I do?

190:
why do u keep coming up with weird topics

use the damn search engine

190:
^next would be the size of the length of his d[i]ic[/i]k

maybe b4 he left for 9ja his di[i]c[/i]k was 11' and since he came back it was 8'

that would be subject for another day

Do you know me? This is my first post ever lol

Araboy:
Smh Lacrissa always got some issues with her men sometimes age difference sometimes height or long distance just wondering what gonna be next

This is not really about me. It is general.

SIlknSteel:
Well l fink U shd just lay your priorities ryt: What do U really want? A tall guy n U wld be moiserable wt or a short one day wld always see U as d best thing to happen dat him n wl alwz be privilege standing bside U. Dere are sths dat shdnt really matter Swthrt bt if U knw dat U wldnt lyk what U see lying next to U waking up one morning,den let HIM be.Well l fink U shd just lay your priorities ryt: What do U really want? A tall guy n U wld be moiserable wt or a short one day wld always see U as d best thing to happen dat him n wl alwz be privilege standing bside U. Dere are sths dat shdnt really matter Swthrt bt if U knw dat U wldnt lyk what U see lying next to U waking up one morning,den let HIM be.

Someone that def makes you happy.

Ranging from height to blood group differences, what would you do? We know that true love can be hard to find but what if you do find and then the guy is very short (for the ladies) , different tribes, he/she is AS or SS or other conditions. What would you now do?

Rocktation:
^^True. Be elusive sometimes.

Seconded!

sexkillz:
@Lacrissa you are not allowed both. Why would you be keeping Tab on the guy? Checking his tweets like every 5 mins to find out what to be jealous or Angry about? Were you not going out the last time he called you? Are you the only one allowed freedom in the relationship? Why? Because u are the Girl? For wht reasons na? Lemme let u in on a secret. If u love Someone, Let them be. Them go miss you die,

I agree with you. Maybe I've been calling him too much, that's why i'm bothering myself. I need to stay away more often. This long distance thingy is frustrating man!

190:
Yes twitter is more important cos you dont know how to cook

I wonder what you AA's spend your time doing  

AA?? lol, i'm Nigerian

High_Chief:
Then why dont you tell him your findings and hear him out, maybe then you can come back here with his response

Don;t want him to see me as a stalker lol. I'll just stay away for sometime. I won't ask him anything. I want him to wonder what i'm up to too

ok i talked about the long distance relationship with this guy i've been seeing. I have never done this long distance but was willing to try because I know he really does love me but i find out, i always want to hear from him everyday, even more than once.
Today, we spoke twice in the day but I was meant to call him back as i was going out the last time he called, he picked up and told me he was driving. I then checked his twitter, and saw he posted his last tweet after i called him, of him going for a cook out. I'm not mad but does that mean twitter is more important than me? Maybe this long distance thingy is frustrating me.

P.S- pls no insults, thanks in advance.

Degrees in Engineering, medicine, business, an MBA, architecture etc look very enticing but what if your man was going to school (bachelors or masters) for maybe psychology, music, communication research and technology in communication studies etc, does it matter to you ladies/women what he studies?

This MOBO, in as much as most of your posts are silly I agree with you to some extent or perhaps I'm also wrong but I have some female friends that are married about 3 or 4 of them that never posted a pic of their husband and i sometimes wonder why. They put the kids and theirs but never the husband. I guess it's just their choices then.

Cuddlemii:
Whats wrong with you? Im just advicing u stop publicizing your biz plans in public. You have goals and plans would have been more appropriate. Whats our own with cosmetic shop from US, thats even a biz that is everywhere in naija.

Anyways best of luck with your choices and if the yankee guy makes u happy then stick with him cos happiness is what matters. If he treats you well then good for u cos a poor guy that treats u like a jewel is better than a king that treates u like a slave.

Oh ok, my bad. I thought you felt I was bragging, which I wasn't 'cos it was just a thought! Sorry.
Thanks for your advice, he really, really makes me happy but not the usual type my brother relates with- you know very rich and popular people.

tblacker:
OP
Your heading and contents got me confuse. The heading suggest to me that you are about to say yes to someone that is asking your hand in marriage but the content is only talking about a relationship. I'd go with the content anyway. I assume you are already double-dating with all you have said because there is motive. You can plan your life around the yankee guy if you feel safe with him and he is treating you just the way you wanted it. Giving another guy some chance into your heart is just what I can not fathom in this your case,the guy that is not doing well and you already have your fears for him.Have you imagine how miserable the dude would feel if your heart is a mirrior and he can see all the thought running in your mind as regards him?

My advice,if you are still going back and the yankee guy is for real,turn whatever you have for the modest 9ja guy into friendship and face the man after your heart.

As for the age,I can't imagine calling a graduate a kid,so that is out of picture for me.Getting married at early age is an advantage as far as am concern.

P.S if you have a doubt in your mind about the yankee guy,roll on with the 9ja guy and ignore all the drama from your brother and encourage your guy to brave it out. Good luck dear.

I'm not giving any other guy my heart. And yeah I do think of it a lot, Someone that loves me very well and genuinely, knowing that I'm thinking twice just because of who he is? That's bad. That's why I have not ruled him out, i keep fighting myself, this guy makes you happy, so what?

Thanks a lot for your advice!!!!

Cuddlemii:
Too much details madam. I can see the mouth thing runs in the family. Why not keep it in the family and marry the top shot brother.

What mouth thing? I stated that to emphasize a something to him so what are you talking about? Go take a hike somewhere please.

tellwisdom:

Na wa oO! So people like me who eat ones a day due to no money, no food, no go fit marry pple wey come from OBODO-OYINBO(America), oh oh A question for you: Where is your brother working??

He works in a good firm. We are doing well, we may not be the president's children or Dangote family but we are doing ok. He just sometimes want to bite more than he can chew. I know it's good to think big but man! to some extent.

Cuddlemii:
@poster
I always discuss the undiscussed. I dont even care about money, your brother's tantrums and your age. I care about the long distance thingy where you date via skype etc. Babes please its better you get a church rat here in naija that you can see and date.

Forget all those yankee based fiancee or relationships oh, its a 70/30 chance and you might end up wasting your time to the age that your "wealthy and classy" brother might be your only resort. What steps has yankee lover taken towards your marrying you, have you met his people?

Was mentioning you being pretty necessary at all. Anyways, thats the more reason you should quickly get a stable guy here now that u still got it.

Ummm I was in the US for years and still returning back. I'm not doing skype relationship or so, i already started dating him before I came to Naija for a short period. And as for marrying, his people etc, I am still young plus the relationship is not that old. As for guys, they are everywhere yes, I would never say never, but i have not seen anyone that has treated me better than him (guy abroad) at the moment.

Nekai:
OP, don't put the cart before the horse. There are so many things a gal like u can be focused on instead of hypothetical scenarios.  

Listen 2 the wise words of jay bee.

jay bee:
I have advised you numerous times on this board to focus more on other things cos you don't seem to be able to hold your own in relationships.
Just sort of wondering why that solid advice is being met with deaf ears.


You seriously need to take a break

I understand what you both are trying to say but why would you think my relationship is the center of my life? And yes I am young but I am also a UNI graduate. Graduated even last year and how old must a girl be, before she starts having people in her life to know better, date, court and eventually marry? When she's 30 or what?

ogugua88:
Well, ignore parents to an extent. After they have pushed you into marrying a wealthy man who turns out to be a wife-beater, they will push you to leave that same man with lightning speed and then tell you "I'm sorry". Crocodile tears and apologies.

You are living your life for you, not for anyone else. Parents and siblings are just as human as you are. Just because they are old doesn't mean they aren't capable of making mistakes. Just because your parents have married doesn't mean what they did is best for you. Everyone is different. You are the one in love with this man, not your parents, your brother, or anyone else.

Yes, as the saying goes, the old man can see sitting down what the young man sees standing on a tree, but it doesn't mean the old man has 20/20 vision. Take everything with a grain of salt. Consider what they're saying, but do what you feel is best for you. A man doesn't need money to prove how much he loves you. A man does need love, for you and from you, to be willing to go to any length to provide for you. Do keep that in mind.

It's not even my parents, it's my elder brother. Everytime, class, where they are from etc and it's bothering me, but yes I agree with you.


P.S @ Jaybee, I got other plans of my own, not just the relationship aspect. I am even trying to set up a mini store here in Naija (Cosmetics from abroad)

jay bee:
@OP
u and men problems at this tender age of urs

Do you know i could be older than you?

ogugua88:
Since when is being normal a problem?

Money can't buy you love or happiness, as he has proven to you.

I agree with you a 100 percent. It's just that since i came back, see the way they all are treating me, my uncles, family members, friends that the man that would marry me with the way I look, they would enjoy, drinks and all that- I know they all are joking. Then my brother now. I am still young and so is the guy but he is not from a very rich family.

190:
[color=RED]Lacrissa have u ever dated a REAL MAN   [/color]

Lol yes i have

There is this guy in the US I was seeing before coming to Naija so basically doing long distance or so, but the problem is he is just a normal guy. When I say normal, i mean not really rich and of course does not have the "wow" factor. I on the other hand, I am really pretty and my elder brother is always talking of class, wealth, name etc

Today he went to my laptop and saw my skype and the guy from the US and started telling me what kind of funny name does he have and all that, If the person isn't the president's son or from a very rich family, then nothing.

I am already thinking twice, if eventually our relationship grows, how i would introduce him to the family and all that or if i should just start with another person.

P.S he is really good to me and loves me sooooooo much but he is not all that rich compared to my family.

Please no insults or critique, I'm only asking for your thoughts, opinions and advice. Thanks

This is really a serious issue especially leaving a country with 24/7 light to nothing at all. What do you think can be done to solve this issue people?

Thanks guys for your replies

Ms. Potato:
Lacrissa, for me I will get angry cause I would feel that he is not making anysacrifices and its like what? He seems not to miss me or what is it or has he given up on this relationship since he knows that I am moving to another country. So I know and understand how you feel. For me, I would tell him how I feel on the phone and I will ask him if he is still serious or not cause if he isnt he should tell me now and dont waste my time thinking that there is hope between us two in the coming future.

Yeah I spoke to him and expressed how I felt even yelling lol but I understood where he was coming from and also felt for him though still a lil angry but i've agreed to give him some money to come see me.

Ranoscky:
You dont have to wait until he opens his mouth and ask you of the money. You already knows things are not going well for him, why not send the money to him 1st and see if the lack of money is the reason why he havent come to see you, or something else?. . .some guys are NOT good in askin, u know? Send the effin money to him jare, make im com giv u "safe journey sex!"

I offered to give him the money without him asking and told him i was upset he didn't ask, if he wanted to see me badly and lol @ safe journey sex. (I'm a virgin o )

Akinagirl:
Did it work?

Yeah he is coming tomorrow. i offered to give him the money.

LadyT:
No you should of offered. He shouldnt have to ask if you know his situation.

Hmmm, ok guess I'll try that, Thanks

otokx:
yeah, why did she not send him transport & lunch money? She got no right to be angry.

I was waiting for him to ask me even though at the back of my mind, I'm willing to do so but why I'm angry is him not asking me if he wanted to see me sooo bad as he claimed before I leave for another country

Deep Soul:
^^

@OP:
Yes you have a right to be angry. But what if he REALLY COULD NOT come. . .did you offer any suggestions?

Have you guys talked about what's going to happen to your relationship now that you're leaving?

Is the relationship going to continue despite the distance or are you guys giving it a breather?

His ONLY reason which he told me was the situation happening presently, money wise and i was waiting for him to ask me. I wanted to see if and how bad he wants to see me but he did not even come up with such option.
Yes we had talked about our relationship and what we would do but it doesn't top it all like us seeing before I leave as we had agreed.

Tee_Jay:
I guess the poster is more aggrieved at the "one for the road" sh-ag she is not going to get, I mean how can he be so insensitive? Does he not know she has needs?

Nah sex isn't the issue here and yes my needs are to see him before I leave, same day.

LadyT:


Why didn't you offer to give him the transport money if you know he truely is broke?

I was waiting for him to ask me and unfortunately he didn't. He could have asked me if he wanted to see me soooo bad.

jay bee:
You and all dis your bf palava evidenced by the number of posts you've opened up lately on this same issue.
Why don't you just take a break and have as much fun as u can. Time is greatly on your side

I'm having fun but emmm it's also wise if you've seen something good or that seems good enough for you at the moment, you keep it now lol

M M M:
op
just go 2 9ja with his pics, so u can have him on your mind.

but dont worry u will still c sharp guyz in 9ja.

Safe journey in advance!!

I have zillions of his pic but it doesn't or cannot compare to him being there with me as i leave especially when the distance is not that much.

Pweety4me:
[color=#550077]It's a tuff 1, can't really speak for your guy it's tuff but u ave to ave this convo with him dear.[/color]

I did already but same old story (sighs)

Pweety4me:
[color=#550077]Hmmm it's not the worst hunny your in for a long-distance relationship?poor you [/color]

yea unfortunately Is that not why he should make all efforts to see me now we are even in the same country, even though different states that's like 4hrs drive before I leave for another country??

Ok i would be leaving for Nigeria very soon and my boyfriend/guy i'm dating who is now in a different state (He moved recently from my state) agreed to come see me as i leave. I understand his situation, things are not really going so well for him at the moment even though his state is like 4hrs drive from mine, which one could catch the train, drive or even bus.

I spoke to him today and he gave me the bad news that his situation cannot let him come see me before I leave even though the money is not much but I am asking myself, wheres the sacrifice here? I am moving to another country not state. I was speechless and told him I had to go and hung up.

Please people, do I have a reason to be mad here?

Ms. Potato:
I dont believe in that. My father and mother are not that tall but my brother and I are quite tall and only my sister is short.

Oh nice

obowunmi:
Wait until you find someone that has both. Why settle for less.

Wait for how long? What if you never find one with both? What next?

Ms. Potato:
A short man that makes you soooo happy

So no worries or fear if your kids come out short too?