Nice to know some Nigerian women are beginning to retain their last names.

Changing your name comes with all sort of headache and I cant be bothered right now.







Seriously, i'm not even interested.

Happy birthday buka and Nashville!

Please gimme me that cake.

Definition of a strong woman.

That man is a selfish bastard!

sassygal:


You mean apart from the myriad of infections and blood poisoning that would most likely occur, using knives and tools that are not sterilised, the serious bleeding that could occur - God help that the child won't have haemophilia and bleed to death. Most of them suffer mild to severe obstetric and gynaecological problems in future.

Depending on the degree or extent of circumcision, no circumcised female will enjoy sexual pleasure as the clitoris has been cut.

Read extensively on this subject while studying traditional medical methods and I believe no right thinking human will subject a child to this! Heck, after cutting they drop the slime from a snail on to the wound! #yuck

Yucky indeed. ANIMALS!!

Didnt know someone already created a topic for it.

I wonder why some human beings will want to mutilate a child all in the name of culture and tradition.

I cant believe this act is still being committed in Nigeria when there is a Child Right's law in place? Beats me.


She is better off not marrying into that family.

I hope she gets all the help she needs and if possible file for asylum in one of the Western countries. na dis kain matter dem dey like.

mods please close this thread.

nora544:
She sould try to get help in an europa country and she wil get help, when you know her I know where she wil get help that she could be free because this is barbaric and it bring more harm to a child that it helps her.

I know a woman from nigeria who life in my country and she help woman.

Very barbaric.Yes. It will be a good idea.

However,she needs to leave Nigeria before she can file for Asylum according to Canada's Refugee protection Act.

She could move to Rep of benin, Togo or some other West African country.

So sad.

I wonder why some human beings will want to mutilate a child all in the name of culture and tradition.

I cant believe this act is still being committed in Nigeria when there is a Child Right's law in place? Beats me.


She is better off not marrying into that family.

I hope she gets all the help she needs and if possible file for asylum in one of the Western countries. na dis kain matter dem dey like.

I don’t want my daughter to suffer the consequences of circumcision like I did –Mum
Her circumcision is a must as tradition demands –Dad’s family

Against the back­ground of a child Rights Law that guides against harmful cultural practices on children in Ekiti State, two families: the royal family of Olaoye in Ushi-Ekiti and the Oyenekan family are at loggerheads over the circum­cision of a 5-year-old girl. The once rosy relationship between both families has now turned sour following a disagreement over the circumcision of their 5-year-old daughter, (name of baby withheld).

Miss Olufunke Oyenekan, mother of the 5-year old girl and fiancee to Mr. Emmanuel Olaoye, son of the Olaoyes, a royal family in Ushi-Ekiti, Ekiti State, had disagreed with the Olaoyes over their decision to perform the traditional circumcision rites on her daughter. The woman, sensing that her husband’s family wanted to perform the rites by all means, fled with her child from the Olaoye’s family house in Ushi Ekiti in 2012 and her whereabouts has since remain unknown.

Recently, the Olaoye family again raised the alarm through a representative, identified as Chief Olu Olaoye over the sudden disappear­ance of Olufunke and her daughter. The family said that their son’s fiancee did not mean well for the family by preventing them from per­forming the circumcision rites on the child. Their explana­tion is that it is a mandatory cultural practice to have all their children circumcised, moreso that theirs is a royal family whose duty it is to preserve the cultural heritage of the people of Ushi Ekiti in order to set an example for the people.

“She (Olufunke) is not helping us, neither is she helping our daughter she has taken away. There are certain cultural practices that we adhere to in our land, some are avoidable while others are not. This practice of circum­cision is part of the unavoid­able ones. Olufunke cannot prevent us from carrying out cultural and traditional rites on our own blood. It is a must that we do the circumcision rites for the girl. Moreso, that the child is a princess, a daughter from the royal fami­ly of Ushi Ekiti and possibly a future regent!.

“We have told them (Olu­funke’s family) that they must ensure that they produce her because she cannot prevent us from performing our tradi­tional duties. She must bring our daughter for the circum­cision rites, “ he said, fuming with anger.

Meanwhile, Olufunke has vowed not to allow anyone, even if it is her husband, to carry out any circumcision rites on her daughter. A mem­ber of her family, who spoke to Sunday Sun on condition of anonymity because of the sensitive nature of the matter, said: “As for the Oyenekan family, we have no problem with whatever the Olaoye family wants to do with their daughter. In our part of the world, it is the man who owns the child and has the final say over him or her. But our daughter, Olufunke is more western-oriented than many of us. She has vowed not to allow any circumcision for her daughter. She says the practice might have an adverse effect on the girl in the future. We would have been able to intervene in the matter to ensure that peace reigns but right now, I can swear to you that we do not even know the whereabouts of Olufunke and her child. In fact, we learnt that her older son has also joined his mum where she was but we do not have any idea of where that is. There was a time she took refuge with their pastor in a church in Abeokuta. The pas­tor assisted in getting the hu­man rights group to intervene for peaceful resolution of the matter, but the fiance’ family became violent about the mat­ter, they wanted to get their daughter by all means. We learnt that Olufunke narrowly escaped the attack on her and ran off with her daughter. We can only appeal to our in-laws to exercise patience on this issue till God makes Olufun­ke to come back, right now, there is nothing anyone can do.”, the man said.

Speaking on phone to the Sunday Sun, Mr. Emmanuel Olaoye, fiancé to Olufunke, narrated how the trouble over the circumcision rites started, his words: “My fiancée, Olu­funke Oyenekan and I met in February14,2006 and we love each other but haven’t mar­ried legally. We were co-habit­ting and eventually had two kids. A boy and a girl.

“Things went on smooth­ly between us till I lost my father who was a traditional ruler in Ushi Ekiti, my home town. I received the message of the death of our royal fa­ther and was told I had been picked as his successor. So, I went home for the burial rites and took my wife-to-be and our children with me, actually to ensure that my extended family get to know her. We travelled to Ushi Ekiti in Jan­uary 1,2012.

“However, we didn’t know that a shocker was awaiting us at Ushi-Ekiti. My family demanded that we submit our children for circumcision rites.

Funke, my wife-to-be, didn’t like this arrangement at all. She didn’t particularly want our daughter, who was then two years and four months old to be circumcised as she said she didn’t like what she experience as a woman who was circumcised by her par­ents when she was young.

“But my people won’t be persuaded to spare our daughter of the treatment because our tradition forbids any of our blood not being administered the circumci­sion rites.

“My fiancée has since fled with our daughter since the disagreement in Ushi-Ekiti. As I’m going to succeed my late father as the traditional ruler of our town, it becomes more mandatory for my children to be circumcised. Here in our land, it is part of the prerequisites of a king-to-be to have all his children circumcised. We really do not have a choice here. But my fiancee sees the practice as barbaric and outdated. She won’t have any of it for our daughter. “ “That is why she ran away with our daughter. Our son has also joined her where she is. I want to be­lieve her people arranged her escape and know her where­abouts but they are claiming ignorance of it. We once heard she was in a pastor’s custody in one Bethel Love Church in Abeokuta, Ogun State. My people went there but she escaped from them and fled to an unknown place with the children and hasn’t been seen since then. I’m just confused about the whole development, “ Olaoye said, wearing a defeated, melan­choly look.


Source:http://sunnewsonline.com/new/?p=85914

Very true. Creepy Nigerian churches ! I stay away from them. They only preach about miracles, enemies and the devil.

Gosh! I want to look like that when I'm 50! Damn! She looks damn good. .

Why are you taking panadol for your uncles headache?

Whats so special about visiting the village anyway?

You never know. It could be that she had a bad experience the last time she was there and has decided not to tell anyone about it.

Lol. This thread funny die.! .



Lol. @alutacontinua. Bad azs combo. you will be a good money manager o.

I bet kanwulia is from space.

The stereotyping is worse amongst ekiti people. Even my Dads driver(an ekiti man) will tell you he can't stand ijebu people.lol

Awww! Cute cute

cococandy: If you don't know the details don't assume.

That is ehn. Assumptions! Smh

@hispinkolo. You have said it all. I think she is just giving excuses.

@diegs. Do you also remember billionaires advice? He was the very first person that told you to leave and let your husband deal with the fact that you are not always going to be there. (At home).
Shock his balls out by leaving to regain your sanity.

May God give you the strength to do so.

ileobatojo:

Lady gogo! Your tea don finish ni? I miss seeing you sip tea (with those hilarious comments)

E Neva finish o. Sometimes nairalanders can make you forget your tea.lol

Keep sneaking in and out you hear. Lol. I dey see you o .

edwife:


They are your siblings,there is no disturbance when it comes to family.They know your ordeal and they should be able to help,especially your sisters.
With her moving in the same town,my dear things will get worst than before and the way they are going about it,he will make you a baby making machine while he keeps her as a lover.You really need to decide on what next.

I really feel for you,and will never advise anyone to stay in a loveless marriage.It ruins one and makes one lose self esteem.

God is your strength.

Thank you @edwife. You've said my mind.

Sophyrocks:

#Moonwalks back into thread#

Seriously, why would you attend a church that creates distinctions of its members according to status/ unfavorable circumstances? Are christians in a church not meant to encourage one another? Why such negative atmosphere? the moment you notice such in a church, you are to leave ASAP and find a more befitting and spirit filled church that focuses on having a close relationship with God. That is what a church should be all about. All these churches that emphasize on ladies getting hitched at all cost are helping to fuel the desperation among ladies. Nobody is saying you cannot go to church to seek help. but the way pastors have turned the whole thng to a joke is nauseating.Nigerian Women are too gullible for my liking. THEY ARE MORE LIKE TOOLS TO THESE PASTORS. see as all of them dey full church because of husband matter. Both the ones wey never marry and the ones wey don marry. After marriage, same ol problems about husband palaver dem they face. Women, una no dey tire to worry about Man? HABA!! I no fit live all this kind typical nigerian woman life biko!! its mentally and physically exhausting! I love my non-chalant self!! Thats why i am from planet jupiter!!

#moonwalks out of thread#

That's why I stay away from naija churches. They further add salt to injury.

Well said. It needs to make front page.

diegs:

Things haven't improved yet. I think it is getting worse. My dad is stil angry i got married into anothr tribe. so he won't listen to anyone. Infact he told my elder sisters to sort my problems since they supported me. My mum can't go against my dad.

Are your sisters married? Can any of them allow you stay with them for a while or assist in helping you get some form of accommodation?

Can you also contact Project Alert? Although your case is different, but you never know they may be able to accommodate you for the time being. You can just give it a try.

Again,I hope your situation improves soon.

diegs: I dont know what to do. i have tried separating from my husband but my dad refused to allow me come home. i honestly tired of my marriage because my husband is not nice to me at all. it is as if i forced him into this marriage. This is someone that pratically joined me in begging my dad to allow me marry him. I just feel hopeless and useless. i dont even have a job to allow me move out and stay on my own.

i know my husband is also cheating on me. he keeps denying it and he is also a wicked liar.
I am am always depressed. My mum came visiting some weeks back and she asked me what happenes to my smiles. That she can see am not happy.

I am to be blamed, i married him against my dad'S wish and cause of tribe differences

Hello dear. I remember you from your original post. It looks like your situation hasnt improved.

Since your Dad doesnt want to meddle in your marital affairs why dont you pour your heart out to your mum? She can in turn seat your Dad down and let him know what is going on.

Let her know your plans and also ask if she can be of help in sorting out a place for you to stay in the mean time.

A break is definitely needed as depression isnt something to joke with.

You dont need to blame yourself at this time. These issues can still be experienced by couples of the same tribe and even of the same State.

I hope everything works out well for you in the end.

Godspeed.

SAMBARRY: So as I was saying

Kulyie,this pic definitely brought tears to my eyes.

agbeke58: On the issue of stigmatization, some couple of mths back, we went for my brother's introduction. Now d time for introducing groom's sibling came, d woman doin d intoduction(my mum's very good friend) called my younger siblings one after the other, with their hubby, wife and children. Overlooked me, and my dad was trying to tell her she hasnt recognised me, d woman seems not to care, i just waived to my dad to let her be.

I thought that scene was over, i was dazed when d pix came out and i was not sited in any of d pix. My married younger folks were captured with their families and I was like, where was I when all these where going on.

But I had made up my mind not to let anything of such get to me, because, my own time too will definately come.
I rejoice with those dat are engaged already. God will surely perfect it.

This isht is real. smh@ the nigerian society.

Please remain strong.

BABE3:

to save face. Some even lie to freinds and family that their husbands bought the cars, built the house, pays the kids' fees. They paint him as a 'perfect' husband to the world, but deep down they're dying.

It's a thing of shame for them; house husband kwa? Tufiakwa.




So.men and women are not equal? If the man is the head, what does that make the woman? Tail or neck?

Hmmm. Na wa o. Thats why you see so many emotionally repressed women taking out their anger on their kids and house helps.

This our do or die mentality when it comes to marriage isnt helping us at all as a society.

"Just kidding . But seriously, where did the African women learnt this theme. 'divorce is not an option ' . Na ebe kwanu. This one life wey I come after how many centuries that has passed. I never existed, and here am I...trying to enjoy myself before old age catch up with me na him person go wan kill me early. Lai lai. This is survival of the fittest. Kai! I dey kamkpe."




[/quote]


lol @ divorce is not an option when you are constantly being disrespected.

I was just reading this article on another website and I was just nodding to myself that it further buttresses the point Aisha made yesterday about women that still stay with cheating spouses regardless of their husbands socio-economic status.

I wonder why these women are still enabling their husbands though. Chai.

effisyman:

They are countless women who have killed their husband cos he cheated or take a second wife.

How many men have killed a woman cos she cheated? Abi wives no dey cheat?

Even God forgives the most heinious crime, why kil or rejoice in death of a spouse....you can simply walk out.

Because in the Nigerian society,God hates divorce and men find it easier to walk away and not experience the stigma that comes with being divorced.

Yes . women do a lot of cheating.

aisha2: Well[b][/b] from what I have noticed around me most people prefer losing a spouse to leaving a marriage.[b][/b]

There is an almost vindictive edge to it the s a me way some will wait for their mother in laws to die before enjoying their marriages

We like to keep up appearances so even though we ate unhappy we swallow it and pray that death or something evil should bring a person down to their knees, sadly religion has been diluted to support this act.

To some who loose cheating spouses feel relief because it seems they can now have a life without judgement and also remarry if they choose too without the fear and threat that they will go to hell should they leave an unhappy marriage and remarry

Do you think the bolded mostly happens amongst the rich? Because I think some women will leave their cheating spouses if they were poor.

@op I'm not even surprised at your post.That's why I keep saying there are very few marriages in Nigeria.
Most are only living like housemates.

Kanwulia is obsessed with zebra prints.

Na wa o. All in this bid to remain in the husbands house.

Aisha abeg to each their own. You have said my mind.

Make we dey suffer and smile dey go. That's our stock in trade.

I miss kobojunkie.

Phema: And who/where is Harper??

Hello Phema.