₦airaland Forum

Dude, I speak for myself, the act of cheating on your spouse has different roots other than sexual prowess and lust. it may even be occultic

I wish i had a deep baritone voice boosted Bass with an electronic amplifier, cos when i talked to girls they always think i am joking and my sexy lines sounds like a cartoon character begging for candy, Man you do not know what you have  

samtoye:
Can you rename this post as "10 Lessons on How to lose a man",

No better yet 10 lessons on how to lose a[b] LOSER FAST [/b]

children are typically receptive to almost everything you teach them. they learn quick just make sure you have something to hold down their attention. hope she can manage the pressure cos children do not like pressure. wish her the best

my first attempt at toasting a chic (failed miserably)  
my first choook getting dis-virgined by Big Bose  
my first N80k+ cheque
my first N600k+ cheque
my first N1m+ cheque
my first N2m+ cheque
my first Mercedes
my first boy child  

Simple matter to resolve really, CommandClem simply go on National TV and present your claims I am sure Mobil will counter and we will know who the crooks and dumbasses are

The angel has started taking a survey of the lawmakers and that is why I have written to the Senate and the House of Representatives,

That is a tall order for one Angel alone, guys like OBJ who have 99 demons at his beck and call and Alao Akala who can hurl amala balls at the rate of 100 per second, the Angel will have his hands full, this is a failed mission already. NUPENG is on strike so tell me how the Angel proposes to cover ground

OLAADEGBU:
Lets see it in the proper perspective.

Touche, OLAADEGBU Touche,, but I don't believe in Evolution either and if anyone does, it is a matter of how they interpret the information with the facts presented.

https://i219.photobucket.com/albums/cc244/patrix99/1105-1.png

http://www.ipatrix.com/2862/do-only-atheists-believe-in-evolution/

I mean I don't think algae will develop brains in a billion years and design a battery

My Prayer for Nigeria

Almighty Father!!! (Tongue-speak) Shantarobooboob shinta kpes jamuraaa! Great God of Creation!!! (Tongue-speak) Jimbaroo boobo boobo shinkpess akwa-ibom effiong akala!!!
Ancient of Days!!! (Tongue-speak) Shekinaa bro ror obo bobo bomb-blast, sheee gbamgigigig gig gidid d Ebele farts in barf bag

Your Children are here before your mighty Throne of Grace (Yes lord) to render our endless supplications to your ever-merciful ears.
Although we have not deserved audience with you for the exceedingly wicked and sinful events we have passively or actively participated in over the past decade, We still crave your indulgence
Although you have deemed it fit to overlook our myriads of deep-set and unholy tribulations that have beset us since Independence, we continue to troupe en-masse to your hallowed places of worship
Although you continue to ignore our cries for good governance and release of the fountains of blessed democracy, we faithfully maintain the position of 3rd largest Christian Nation in the world.
Although you have deemed it fit to constantly expose our Prophets for the scandalous wolves they truly are, much to the embarrassment of the Christian populace, We continue to blindly ignore the facts and look upon your age-old instruction to "Do your Prophets no harm"
Although you choose to anoint questionable Presidents (with equally dubious Wives) to rule us, we praise your infallible wisdom and faithfully accept your choice and follow them wherever they take us to.

Father!!! Father!!! (Tongue-speak) descend on your Children this day and take cue from Retired Prophet and General; Rawlings of Ghana (PBUH) and wipe out our faithless followers and empower out yet to be born children to have the will and awareness to have a Discerning Spirit to ask question as you have instructed to seek knowledge and understanding and gain wisdom.

This we ask in Jesus Name. Amen

@Deepsight. you were very fortunate to have remained through the sermon without slipping into insanity. I had free Sunday-time to visit Our Lady of Lourdes in Aguda Surulere. (I had been guilt-tripped into going to church after 2yrs) I had little inkling that the Catholic Church have started engaging in questionable manipulations of scripture. As the sermon ended, I was relieved and preparing to exit before the Communion began only for the Priest to present Baskets of Apples to the congregation each imbued with essences of any of three JESUS, HOLY SPIRIT and GOD. Each Apple possessing the power to change one's destiny for good (details of activation to follow) I quickly sat up with keen interest as the call went out to the congregation to step forward and purchase Apples from N100K, N50K, N30K, N10K, N5K, N3K and N500 I could not believe my Eyes not understand what my Ears were subjected to. People slowly started trouping out and eventually an entrepreneurial lady came up the pews to personally sell the apples to the seated congregation.

Not to be seen as vindictive, I told my friend that it was surely a gimmick since the Harvest was on the horizon and this was a way to raise funds until i heard how to "Activate" the Apples for release of the Powers therein.

1: Take it home (Do not wash it)
2: Take it to a quiet place preferably a Shrine (Not to be confused with Juju-Shrine) Catholics know what i mean
3: Pray?Meditate on your needs and ask God to fulfill them
4: Eat the Apple

At this point i had to be held down by my friend to stop me from raising my hands (Class-room Style) to ask questions.

Nolly Movies continue to steal my hard-earned money and degrade my intelligence further. I see a movie poster with hot chicks almost buck-naked and when i buy the movie, there is not one inch of skin and the girl is uglier in the actual movies. This stinks, I want my money back, that wack director lance must stop parading himself as an Epic Director/Producer. his movies are pure con. I cannot continue to fall for 419 directors who use misleading posters and trailers to sell their movies I demand satisfaction

OLAADEGBU:
It will be a good idea to post only as the Spirit of God leads us making sure we pray that His Word will fall upon good fertile grounds. It is not everyone that asks questions that really wants to do the will of God when their questions get answered, they actually have their minds made up and do not want to be confused with the facts, so we have to learn not to cast our pearls before swines and to be wise as serpents but harmless as doves.

You have to cut "them" (us) some slack haba! OLAADEGU our minds are made up as far as the quality and objectivity of the answers/statements you are fronting.our fertile minds are always open to reason and constantly questioning not out of rebellion but simply because God created the faculty for man to seek insight and wisdom like a hungry wolf (not swines) seeking a supple rabbit.

This is a real pain, but a rather crude and clever method my old time electronics dealer in Alaba employed is simple really
1: Any profit made from products sold above the retail price belongs to the salesperson (receipts must tally with Cash register entries)
2: 10% Commissions (on retail price) are given for repeat sales on a customer within a month
3: Daily submission of sales figures must tally with count in store and on shelves otherwise short-fall is deducted from Salary until reconciled
4: Daily prayer sessions and salespersons must go to church at least twice a month in the shop-owners church (usually catholic or chosen)

The crude part which i do not subscribe to is this.
1: Each sales-person must swear an oath and hanging-curse at a shrine to prevent them from stealing failing, they will be cursed to work till death for people without making any progress in life or receiving a profitable FREEDOM party

Wumine:
If your soul go hang for road as you dey soul travel, na die be dat o! Na to carry u go bury be that? Then what will u tell God?

If and only If and it has not been proven that the "Silver Cord" can be broken by any means other than general decline in health (disease) and old age. If you are less-informed stop making subjective statements

OMG!!! Oh MY FCUKIN GOD!!!

Everyone who is angry with his brother, Sorry you are not my brother. It is only those who are geuinely born in christ here that are my brothers. You are an atheist heading down the highway of hell.

Please tell me not all Christians are like Mr. alexleo. if so we are indeed in the ENDTIMES foretold. how can you a whole zealot for Christ maligned the Bible so viciously for the sake of your argument Every human is your brother (lost as they may be) in-case you have forgotten

u guys must be vibrantly young I guess i must be getting old, I only code (software/web apps) on request and it must involve a lot of money (at least over N500k) and it must be sell-able to hundreds of Nigerians for an affordable (quarterly subscription) cost. the rest of my time is spent, learning the guitar and sequencing loops on FL or studying reusable components in .NET rather than facing the rigor of implementing the feature from scratch. in all at least 2hrs in one week

Abuse reign supreme on Nairaland Politics section because majority of posters are neither active in Politics on any level (Arm-Chair) politicians or are simply good at exercising their right to be heard and not disagreed with. so they abuse you to high heavens to make their point stick or their views adopted, sadly it will always remain in Nairaland not on the front where their voices will carry the necessary weight

[quote author=Omo_Tier1 link=topic=536650.msg7004470#msg7004470 date=1287928380]Do not mind those pointing to Nigeria's obvious problems as a justification for ALL glorified fraudstars to insult Nigerians as they see fit. Many at times, those who enumerate nigeria's problems have never in themselves done any MAJOR thing to improve the image of Nigeria nor the lots of Nigerians. I cal people like that "wet-mouth"[/quote]Clearly the picture (Nigeria's image locally and internationally) fits the description pointedly; across Sports, Business, Health, Energy, International Trade, Telecomms, the stories you hear are always the same, a lot of potential hindered by stupendous levels of corruption by the very institutions setup to make sure things work like they are meant to. It is not a matter of the UK executing a smear campaign against Nigeria, it is a matter of Nigeria's smearing themselves with SH.IT nearly every opportunity they get. As for having every individual make a meaningful contribution rather than complain, let me give you an example. At my work-place, I was shocked to discover that most of our security personnel are graduates (Diploma and Universities) each one is qualified to get a good job. but where are the jobs!? they get cheated by the very company that hired them to risk their lives as security men. they live in squalid conditions and can barely afford a day's meal until the next payday. Now if this is happening to graduates, imagine the mindset of social miscreants (Area boys) do you suppose they will willingly contribute to improving the lot of Nigeria when they cannot guarantee food in their stomachs! haba, the way a country works is that it appoints leaders who in turn build a sustainable environment where everyone must work to fulfill their aspirations. not the otherway round buddy

^^^ will keep my observations to myself then won't i

edited and removed

@posters, it does not matter whether the religion is islam, hindu or christianity, it is still the same, (Black) Africa continues to reel in the throes of babarism and illiteracy (inspite of modern times), let us come close to home and see little children in traffic running after cars in the (baking) hot sun, yes you might not like them and go on to accuse their parents of subjecting them to child labour for their own selfish gains. The problem with Black Africa is that we are always magnifying symptoms and trivalizing the disease. (It is like living with a Dangerous Cancer of the brain and trying to treat frequent memory-loss instead of the Cancer)

Our leadership (From Family to National levels is rotten to the core) rather than address BASIC issues of Standards of Living, Education and Human Rights, they hyperventilate over Ethnic-Politics and Religion while massive amounts of National Wealth is wasted over fighting symptoms and allowing the disease of illiteracy and corruption to grow. We often wonder why our wards fail WAEC and NECO exams woefully. Some Emir even attributed it to watching EPL matches the streets of Lagos is testament to the fact the Child Labour is ignored and widely accepted as nothing out of the ordinary in Nigeria

Maggot! there is a fresh one born everyday

oluwagream:
oge4real, , we cheat because we are MEN, thats our nature babie, no offense

That is too general and oft misleading. The act of Cheating on your Spouse is rooted in 3 primary causes
1: [b]It is in your Character to Chea[/b]t (low self-esteem, too much ego, playboy immaturity
2: You are undergoing Emotional trauma which can be gradual slip into cheating or sudden, e.g you have lost your job and owe a lot of money and some kindly chic comes into view offering emotional succor
3: Your Spouse is a real BIATCH

Mikel Obi,  I dey beef you seriously man, all that money, all that money, all that money  Man I gats to beef you anyhow,  man wish i had a smiggin of that money, just a small smiggin. I will sell my soul to chelsea  Man, what a crib (e neva even reach to be house) damm!!

wonder why our standards in ed are fallin

It has become painfully clear that GEJ has hired facewashers or PR Consultants who think they can hoist their inane whims on the Internet-ready populace of Nigeria. GEJ himself said this to Obama, "Elections are central on the minds of Nigerians" why not concentrate on that instead, or better yet visit the victims of the ABJ Blast and show you r concerns rather than antagonizing them by fraternizing with the terrorists to add salt to injury, buva please!

nigerians, ever so predictable