₦airaland Forum

Indeciveness is another factor, that leaves a sour taste in the mouth.

Some men date a woman for ages, and don't step up to the mark, or declare what they feel for the lady, or say what plans they have made for the future. They do not come out openly to 'define' that relationship or where it is heading. They are content to let things ride, or just wobble along.

So when another more straight-forward guy comes along to tell the babe, that he is ready, willing & able to make a commitment, the lady might weigh her options and decide to take a long walk, into the new guy's arms.

So who do we blame? The babe who left, or the guy who never gave her a reason to stay, by defining the direction he wanted the relationship to go?

Alarinka: , a tiger does not proclaim its tigritude, why the issue of first class in matters of relationship, humble yourself brother and ladies will flock to you,

You are so right. But the guy needs to know one thing, it is not so much what you have that counts, but who you are. Even if a guy has all the degrees in the world, including a first-class education, if he lacks honour, integrity, empathy, love, compassion & respect, women will keep dumping him for a guy who has those things. There are too many men who say one thing, while they mean another. It merely shows that they lack integrity. Its' a trait that puts people off.

I know someone who dated a guy with a first-class degree from a British university. The guy was an arrogant, self-centred character, who believed that he knew it all. He was always showing off, too full of himself and was hardly ever interested in trying to find out if his babe had any problems, or helping out with any personal issues she had.

When this same guy was a squatter in his friend's cousin's house, this girl was always by his side. Later, when he got a room & parlour, & was sleeping on the floor, she was also there. After he made some money, he realised she was no longer good enough for him. After dating her on and off for a couple of years, he used & dumped her, giving one pathetic, flimsy excuse.

What am I saying? A first-class education don't mean much in a relationship, if you are not ready to show you care for a babe, by staying with her through thick & thin. It takes effort to make a relationship work. So many men put too little effort into this area, that's why things hardly ever turn out well.

If a guy feels too big to work at a relationship now, is it when he gets married later, that he will automatically develop the skills to make that marriage work?

Some men have learnt the art of how to treat a woman well, and such men often have babes flocking round them, ready to do their bidding. Believe me, it doesn't take a first class degree to learn how to do that.

Cool: Quote from: Cool on Today at 12:26:35 AM
Next day, call your mum-in-law and while talking with her, just mention in passing that you called Sister Bleep y'day but she was busy then. Don't complain about her attitude at all. Repeat the process about 2 other times but on the 3rd occassion, request your mum-in-law to pleeeeaaassee remind her to call you when she's freer. Thereafter, if she doesn't call you, just call her once a while until everyone settles in because you both will settle to a rhythm at some point in time.

Best advice, ever! In fact, follow-up the calls with nice, short text messages. Make sure you also copy your fiance's mum & other sisters, too.

When your fiance's younger sister says that you didn't call her, just smile & tell her politely, that:
"Ah, but I did now! I also followed it up with a text, when I couldn't reach you.  I even sent similar texts on that same day, to Mama and Sis. X. Or have you forgotten?"

Make sure you have an audience, when you are doing it. Then calmly whip out your phone, scroll to the 'messages sent' folder & pick out the text that has her name on it. Show it to those around. Simple. Sense no dey finish for this world, make we come dey find am go heaven. Na proverb, my people.

Men who make such a big fuss about women combining their maiden name with their husband's name, seem to have an 'insecurity' complex. Guys with intact egos, are not really bothered about it.

Like I overheard a friend saying recently: "She can call herself whatever she likes, but at the end of the day, as long as she is in my bed & in my house doing what needs to be done to keep our family together, I really don't give a hoot."

Seun:
I guess I'll teach him Yoruba because it's required in the WASSCE exams. That's really a sad waste of their lives.

omogenaija:
i teach them my language only b/c i know some stupid ass yoruba people will want to talk shit to my kid and my child must defend themselves

Ehn? Why this resentment towards the language? Had to learn it in high school and even though it wasn't by choice, it was well worth the hassle. We all ended up discovering that it is a rich, lyrical, rhythmic, poetic language with a lot of loaded wisdom and depth. The student who won the first prize in Yoruba, in my final year in school was an Igbo girl, who grew up in the South-west just like I did. For a lot of non-Yoruba speakers, it was a good education. We learnt about the customs, mode of greeting, lifestyle, cosmology, proverbs, idioms, world-view, oriki, philosophical thoughts etc. of the culture.

Wouldn't trade it for anything. Looking back now, it was time well-spent!

ThoniaSlim:
what tribe got to do with marriage?

Well, to some people, a great deal!

earthtones:
Just a question, I know a nigerian guy who is 39-40years, no children, never married, he has money and great career, is that kind of old not to have settled down?

Erm, my people this one get as e be o!

First of all, do some serious search, girl. Ask questions. Are you sure he is not divorced? And he doesn't have a wife or a fiancee back home in Nigeria?

Is he an only child or an only son? Tell us. Have you spoken to any of his family or friends? Have you met any?

Or is he the first child out of a large family? Maybe he had to take care of his siblings or extended family, and those financial commitments made him put marriage on hold. Dunno. Just asking.

If, like you say, he has a good job & spare cash, there might be various chics of all sizes hanging around him. So he could be spoilt for choice. Y'know, some girls believe 'finance is the lube that oils romance.' In fact, one or more of those girls would have made serious efforts to snag him, before now. Find out.

Or did he have a bad deal at the hands of some chic that made him vow never to get married?

ThiefOfHearts:
I think it's the girlfriend angle

Um, are you sure? Its' quite possible. Because the way xtycod & docokwy keep going on and on, its' obvious they harbour a deep-seated psychotic hatred for other ethnic groups. Hatred can shorten a person's life-span o! Make una tell them.

On the other hand, do you think this hatred stems from the fact that Lagos landlords refused to rent houses to these two, because of their insulting manner of approach? One can never really tell. Just look at the way they keep having a fit, each time someone mentions the name of the tribe, they dislike. Can anybody direct them to the nearest hospital for a psychiatric evaluation?

Ehen, back to the topic jare. Who is going to report Oprah to the broadcasting body, that disciplines erring broadcasters & networks?? Or who has the money to sue Oprah for making defammatory statements about Nigerians? Talk is cheap. People need to put their money, where their mouths are.

Nite Angel:
Diplomacy!

Next time she appears angry simply say "ah Mummy k'on se be o, ore mi or ore "your husband" (not your mummy, not your husband) kan ti send awon samples kan si wa won de nice gaan, t'eyin na ba ri e like e, a ti e ti fun ni balance. Mi fe ke tun fi stress aso ti wa kun gbogbo nkan to wa n'ile bayi. Se k'on se p'e bi nu o?

Erm, please kindly translate this part for other non-speakers of the language. Thanks.

But on a serious note, sweetthang why don't you guys settle in another city? If your mother-in-law lives in Lagos, I beg make una move go Abuja. If she lives in Ibadan, then choose Port-Harcourt as your base.

Finally, don't you have caller ID? Just switch your phone on to voice mail, when her calls become too frequent. If she calls three times a day, pick up the phone once, and let the other two calls go into voice mail. Chikena!

adconline:
Laudate
Why picking on oxytcod and docwytx  instead of  " Sweet T" who started  and tribalized this thread. Now you have some folks sticking out for their  people and you are  shouting crucify them. Now you have some folks who are bombarding fire to fire  For the record,     Igbos are not educationally lagging behind  in Nigeria.

Please kindly re-read my posts again. Did I ever state that Igbos are lagging behind educationally in Nigeria?    Look, just for the record, I made reference to only Xtycod & Docokwy, not the entire Igbo ethnic group. Please tell me, Sweet T that tribalised the thread, is he from Akpabuyo in Cross Rivers? So why did Xtycod make reference to Akpabuyo? Why didn't they just express their displeasure with Sweet T, instead of dragging entire ethnic groups through the mud, or denigrating a community in Cross Rivers?

We need to rise above this mentality of attacking a whole ethnic group, because of one person's sin.

Na God I take beg you, please if you have any dignity left in you as a woman, forget this guy.

He has nothing 'good' planned for you. He is only eating his cake with you & having it. Or is it the other way round? A guy who loves you will want to show you off to his friends & family. He will even be giving you 'close marking', like they say in football, not introducing you as a cousin. Which kind yeye non-existent family tie be dat?

Please next time he comes to you, act like he doesn't exist. And walk away with your head held high. Thank God for showing you the guy's true colours, early enough.

ThiefOfHearts:
laudate

oxytcod and docwytx are known for these kind of tactics. It's all they ever do really. Never have anything of substance to add. They just go around making everything and anything tribal. It's quite pathetic really.

Pity their Ogbuefi, isn't here to see this. But even if he did, he would turn a blind eye 'cos it isn't his ethnic group that's being attacked.

I guess the Yoruba folk took over the little shops owned by Dockwy & Xtycod on Lagos Island, that's why they are here, spewing obscenities all over this thread. How sad. Or did the Yoruba snatch their girlfriends from underneath their noses? Or maybe, it was a Yoruba man that denied them a chance to get an education, that's why they are bitter. Any guesses as to what really happened, anyone?

[quote author=YOUNGDICE$ link=topic=46154.msg1067985#msg1067985 date=1177515585]OK FOR NOW THERE'S NO HAUSA THAT WANNA FUKIN DATE A IGBO OUR WOMEN'S PRETTY ENOUGH FOR US WE DONT WANT BITCHES THAT WILL PUT POISON IN OUR FOOD HELL NO,AND YOU WHATEVER YOUR NAME'S IGBO GIRLS LIKE ME I GOTTA HUNDRED OF THEM BITCHES BUT I DONT DATE THEM I USED THEM AS MY HOES,AND AS FOR EDUCATION ALL MY FAMILY ARE EDUCATED THAT'S WHY WE OUT THERE IN NIGERIA GETTIN $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ SO PLEASE LEAVE MY NERVES ALONE THEY DIDNT ATTACK U YET.[/quote]You need serious help. What you have just written here is totally ridiculous & the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Thank God, not all Hausa people think like you do. You have the IQ of a millet seed!

And stop talking about all your family being educated. There is nothing to support the fact that you received an education from what we can see here. A lot of Hausa who have had the benefit of an education, do not think, speak or write like you do. The Hausa folk who are educated (especially the Christians) are far more restrained and express themselves with more civility than you do. Only half-witted Almajiris talk like you. Were you one of them in your former life, perhaps?:

Abeg, all of una get time sef.     Why una dey beg am to marry di girl?

Oga Vesta, biko, leave di girl & your twins, you hear? Just follow yah mind.

Once the twins grow up, they will thank you for abandoning their mother & making her a laughing stock by impregnating her & dumping her. Then they will give you a chieftancy title, for allowing the rest of the world to see them as 'bastards'.

When both of you were sharing the same bed & doing the physical act that led to the conception of those kids, una dey compatible. No be so? You did not doubt her compatibility at that time. Afterall, 'cunny man die, cunny man bury am'. Abi I lie?

knotty:
laudate

second language acquisition start with abusive words, abi you no know?
to learn a few abusive words is to start learning a new language.
besides, butter like you that do not understand their native languages, a little tutorial will not hurt. else how will those guys calling olosi and were to mean a fool will ever get to know how wrong they were.

so when next i call you OTONDO, you will know i am saying ba wo ni o?

Don't worry, I do not need a tutorial. Am quite fluent in my own native language. I also understand quite a bit of Yoruba, as I have lived in the South-West for several years.

You claim that 'second language acquisition start with abusive words.'  Well, that is certainly news to me. I used to think that studying a language started with a mastery of the alphabets in that language, followed by a study of the vowels that make up the speech patterns. But what do you know? Knotty says its' different. I guess we all live & learn a little, everyday.

So let's assume, I was trying to study Igbo, would you recommend that I should start a new thread with abusive words in Igbo, like Anuofia, efulefu and Onye ara?

docokwy: Akpabuyo Village Fumes Over Election Materials In Shrine

http://www.independentngonline.com/?c=116&a=25322


Inhabitants of Akwa Obio Inwang village in Akpabuyo Local Government Area of Cross River State have alleged desecration of their shrine over a large quantity of election materials reportedly dumped there by an official of the Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC).

The chief priest said the community shrine had been desecrated and insisted that the INEC in the state should perform the necessary rituals before evacuating the materials.

He said the gods of the community were already annoyed and will start taking drastic actions against INEC staff any moment from now.

The materials were allegedly dumped at the Ekpe shrine during the governorship and House of Assembly elections held on April 14, 2007. They include INEC stamps, ink pad, voters register, bags, ballot boxes and papers meant for the elections.

We gathered that the presiding officer said he was going for the result sheets for the elections in the polling centres within the community and did not return until about 9p.m, about six hours after polling had ended. But at the polling centres, the voters and community youths were said to have insisted on him producing the result sheets before voting would commence.

We also learnt that when the presiding officer returned to the shrine to pick up the materials about 9pm, he was prevented from doing so by the youths, who have since been keeping vigil over the materials.

The chief priest of the shrine, who identified himself as Obong Ekpe, told journalists at the weekend that "this is the first time somebody can be bold enough to dump voting materials or anything foreign in our shrine without recourse to the terrible implications that can accompany such act."

Chief Ekeng Ewah Henshaw, who acted as interpreter to the chief priest, said the materials were dumped there by the presiding officer, who he said claimed they would be safe there until he returns with the result sheets for the elections.

When our correspondent contacted the INEC office in Calabar, no official agreed to officially comment on the issue. But a top personnel said they were not aware of any election materials dumped in any shrine anywhere in the state.

And the point is________ Just what exactly??   How does this post relate to what Oprah said about Nigerians on her show? I weak o! Maybe we should pull up an article about all the other shrines in your own neck of the woods, and place it side-by-side with this one you have posted up here, so that everyone can spot the difference.

Why people cannot make rational, logical, illuminating, civilised contributions to a topic, without digressing or descending into the mud to pull out utter gibberish, still beats me.  Anyway, those who said 'common sense ain't common', were right!

Ah yes o! There are 'cliques', and there are cliques. If you make the mistake of saying one word, that they do not like, they descend on you like a ton of bricks. Members of their own clique however, can do no wrong. Such members can post any nasty replies, he or she pleases. All the others will either hail him or her or will simply look the other way. But if you are not a member and you dare pass a comment about one of them, ah, watch out! WWIII will erupt.

It doesn't bother me, sha. I shrug it off & respond to them in kind. And then, I move on. Afterall, wetin concern agbero wit overload? I no sabi dem and dem no sabi who I be. Life goes on. Period.

oyb:
NO!!!

Nigeria is a country in which 99% of citizens are unable to reach their full potential.

In my last year in school, a friend of mine was telling me about his friend who was in yankee.she'd been his classmate in secondary school, and she'd always wanted to read elect engineering, but she was bad at math.anyway, she'd just started work at an engineering firm in yankee. and there was her friend, a year below me, and both of us were still struggling in school.thats Naija for you. a country where you are robbed of opportunities and your dreams die.

our leaders are always so fond of pointing at successful nigerians in the diaspora.but they all seem to forget that the nigerians are outside. what would they have become, if they'd not left these shores? Lemar came to perform some weeks back.if he'd been in naija all his life, he might still be struggling in university or maybe he'd be a wage slave in a bank.

Can't believe I just read this!! Are you saying that no one can point to Nigerians who have lived in Naija, studied here, worked here, spent their whole lives at home and have become a success story? Take a look at the Tony Elumelu's of this world - the chap who runs UBA bank, the likes of Fola Adeola that established Guaranty Trust Bank, the Femi Otedolas, the Raymond Obieri's of Intercontinental etc.

Listen, I have seen several Nigerians abroad, who fell through the cracks in the system and were unable to make it there. Yet, they continue to stay in Yankee or Jand, because they are afraid to come back home. Why? They have nothing to show for all their long stay in those places. Some dishonest ones, resort to all sorts of illegal practices in those places, just to keep body & soul together. Others manage to eke out a living doing menial jobs, despite the degrees they have, because they have not been able to retrain & get a white-collar job or simply because their residency papers are not legit. For every Naija that made it abroad, there are still several others that didn't make it, in God's own country!

Abeg, gold does not grow on the streets abroad, neither do high-flyin' opportunities. In the same way you have disillusioned Nigerians back home, you also have disllusioned Nigerians in diaspora who have watched their dreams take a flying leap into the dust.

I weak o! What on earth is ALL this ment to achieve?

Tornadoz: @ThiefOfHearts
I was saying those accusing the Ibos of giving Nigeria a bad name should know its not only the Ibos.
You're such an arrogant cow its unbelievable.

Na wetin? Name calling doesn't add value to the points being made. All this 'Yoruba' did that and 'Igbo' did this, isn't going to get us very far. How I wish people would sit down, think deeply & give logical solutions to the issue at hand.

With the exception of very few folks in the house who see crime as a vice that cuts across all cultures, most of the other posters have left the issue at hand and are just slinging mud at everyone else. Na real wa!

OBJ for 'what'??  Oh please, tell me you are kidding. His only achievement was the deregulation of the telecoms sector. Se fini.

And to the chap who cited the 'railways' as an OBJ achievement, na God I take beg you, don't let anyone in Nigeria hear you saying that! We do not have a functional railway system. Are you referring to the colonial relic that was left behind, when the colonial masters decided to bid us farewell?

So what are these articles from PM News & co. designed to achieve?? Chrisokw/Docokwy etc. seems to be a specialist in posting articles that denigrate every other ethnic group, except his own. Xtycod delights in doing the same thing. For every article posted in this thread, with a slant that casts aspersions on another ethnic group, there are more that can be called up, which would also put your own ethnic group in a bad light.

Its' sad really.  People hardly ever learn.

gbeborun:
because the other communities are too patronizing and have failed to see the craftiness of the igbo man. very crafty set of people! Eze ndi gbo Calabar indeed!!!!

docokwy:
Shut up.

You should be more concerned with how yor brother Gorrila Obasanjo has Yorubasanjonised Nigeria. Never mind, soon every nonsense he appropriated to his lazy people will be reversed and Oduduwa abi Odukpangolo will go back to square one. Nonsense and ingredient

Mmmn, the tribalistic cabal is back on the block! What a pity!