₦airaland Forum

Hahahaha Omo this write up cracked me up

You stupid pedophile

Hahahaha what a funny tale, OP you seff must you eat? Them point you gun for head? If they offer you food simply tell them you just ate shikena nobody will force you to eat, sotay you go chop there 3 times see finish bad sha

Hmm well sha you no ask for advice so I no go talk much, sha stop having unprotected sex drunk or not, gold circle is #150 it'll save you a lot of trouble. As for your syphilis infection Omo, I no know cos the only sickness I don treat na malaria but I'm guessing it shouldn't be less than 10k. Good luck and speedy recovery also avoid most of these street girls them be carriers of different STDS if you can't avoid them always carry your raincoat.

Your babe na pagan

Lmfao this is so funny, those bandits na comrades

The guy say him wife no well na abi are you a devil? Why should she work when she's ill? God forbid for woman wey go marry your kind man wey go use house work kill am, lastly OP mind your damn business no be you go tell am how to run him home abi you contribute for the bride price?? Nonsense

Nicepoker:
And why did you flare up when the thought the statement was for you. She has a bad character. Don't worry with time you will understand.

Cos it's disrespectful to say that regardless of whom it was meant for, that doesn't mean she would date the Keke guy, but she shouldn't have said that

Them don come again, 2015 was Buhari will handle security while Osinbajo will handle economy, same script different actors, fvck APC, fvck Tinubu, fvck Shettima, fvck you too if you support them

At least no be medical check up he go for

Very stupid question, sex is sex, it's just body parts, preeq no get eye e no know whether na married or single pussy

This one na exaggeration he say flies gather, if you seff na neat guy why flies go dey your room? You come still say you vomit ontop am na she no slap you? Lmao oga no dey lie for us jare if the pussy stinks yes that's different no come dey buga say flies gather e smell pass dead body yen yen yen, go check your sister own whether e get odour or not werey

This one knowingly dey date single mother, kuku dig your grave na

The girl no even fine no come still Sabi spell or type properly, just forget her for your blocked contacts

Nicepoker:
A lady who says a Keke driver can't afford her. Op sorry for you.

Everyone has a taste and all fingers ain't equal bro, you have to know that

jagorinho:
He does not believe his luck, so he is trying everything to make the girl stay, seems he is a little naive about women " doings". Like you said , he should keep his options open, I sense the lady is far ahead of O.p " relationship wise" , if O.p keeps playing to her tunes, she go carry O.p handicap lass lass.

Naive?? Hahaha I laugh in Portuguese, dude go check my other posts in romance section, I only talk about my experiences with women, naive?? Maybe you can say yes I don't believe my luck with her cos it flowed so effortlessly but naive? Hell no

Sweetplum:
It's only to chop that's in your head. She probably doesn't want to appear cheap.
All of you boys always believe once you v sex with a lady, she's less attractive. So do the needful, make her feel more comfortable. Tell her you want her for real.

Quite the opposite she even became more attractive to me after it, and no I will not tell her I want her for real even if I do because it'll get to her head and she'll start misbehaving

Also gonna state this for all those who called her cheap, don't think cos a girl gives you pussy within a day or week of meeting you makes her cheap, it just means she fancies you or likes how you made her feel hence she gave it to you, do you know how many other guys have been asking for months and them never even see pant? Go ask your sisters how many guys they bleeped on the first date e go shock you. Don't term girls as cheap, you wey be the guy wey no cheap why you no reject the sex and tell her to wait a bit longer, nonsense and iranu

Akinfemmy:
Lol hypocrite. Please tell us how long should we wait before having sex that won't be termed lust/infatuation?

You dey answer the mumu

WonderManly:
I also have someone like that too. But just still thinking on what to about her.

My brother, just dey chop for now until e turn to relationship on him own

orisa37:
She wants to kidnap you.

Lol the Kanayo O Kanayo picture would have finessed this your comment

Hmmm first of all this will be a long post so I apologize in advance. Also this is not fictional it all happened and all characters are 100% real. People that know me here know I don't cap about my life experiences.
The Beginning.
It was last two weeks Sunday, I was on my way home after Sunday groove, I entered a bike, as we all know Abuja rain get as e be, on getting to the last bus stop where I would enter a Keke heading to my estate it started raining but I had my sweet letterman jacket on. So I get to the bus stop and there's this fair sweet looking girl inside, mind you this was around 10:30 at night and that was the final Keke, the driver was tired so as soon as I came we set out, just the two of us in the back, there's been an increased presence of military checkpoints in Abuja due to the insecurity, anyway so we get to an army checkpoint and the officer speaks to the Keke driver then asks if we're together, we both say NO at the same time but she was closer to him, meanwhile I saw her eyeball me when I first entered the Keke, back to the story so the officer asks her why she said no in that manner and this girl replied that I wasn't her spec, the officer then flashed his torch in my face and says "ah ah this fine guy" all this while I'm just laughing but in my mind I'm just eager for them to let us go and I don't even care about their conversation, the officer probes further by saying no it can't be that I'm not her spec then the babe says "okay he can't afford me" at this point the spanner wey dey my brain knack the bolt gbainnnnnn, I then looked at her and I said "please don't ever say that again, you can say I'm not your spec that's fine but don't say I can't afford you cos you don't know me and it's not right to judge people that way abi shey na because I follow you enter Keke?" Then she says "oh sorry is it this guy you're talking about, no oh I thought it was the Keke driver" I could tell she was just chatting shit cos I don clear her asap then the officer says to me "make sure you collect her number oh" that Soldier na real OG I owe him a bottle of chilled Heineken. They let our Keke go and the ride is a silent one for about 3 minutes then she starts to apologize and say she didn't know it was me she thought it was the Keke guy BLA BLA BLA, being the eccentric guy I am I told her not to worry to cut the long story short I took her number and invited her out for a date the next day being Monday after I got home from work.
I know say my story long make una no vex.

The Date
So Monday night comes and we go to a spot in my estate, we sit and have drinks with sweet plates of Peppersoup while we get to know each other, found out she's a graduate from one of the private unis (name withheld) and that she's actually smart, so we spoke at length about ourselves and I saw that she wasn't materialistic as she gave off initially walked her back home and got a hug.

Communication
So we did a lot of chatting cos I'm not a call guy, she was fun to chat with so we fixed another date same location this time it was much more comfy we talked for hours like we had known each other for years but she kept bringing up the fact that she was single and not interested in a relationship so we should just be friends, as a bad sharp guy I agreed, walked back after the date then we sat under a tree in the park in my estate, that was where and when we shared our first kiss, it was a beautiful hot wet french kiss and it really made my night, few days later precisely when Man U played Liverpool and won she came over to my place and the rest as they say is history.

She still maintains the statement that we are friends even after the sex which I'm cool with but a few days back we were gisting and enjoying the cool even breeze when my phone rang, it was a girl calling and I had saved the girls name with 2 heart emojis and a peach (yansh) I could tell immediately it upset her but she covered it up by saying after all we're not dating, I just shrugged it off and answered the call, she went home by 9pm only for me to get a text by 10pm from her saying "so you left me to go and be with your madam, you're funny" but you said we're not dating na besides I never even left her to be with anyone, but tbh I think I'm falling in love with her and I think she's falling too if she hasn't fallen already, she's perfect, my type of girl, her shape is to die for, whenever we're out Omo men dey stare even married men with their wives, I don't want to tell her I'm falling tho so she no go misbehave but so far so good it's going well, I just don't know why females claim they're not interested in dating you but get jealous when it looks like someone else wants to get in the picture. Anyway she'll be over by the weekend and I can't wait to give her mind-blowing séx the type that will leave her legs shaking, to the point that whenever she remembers it she'll have to change her panties cos they'll get soaked...

So my fellow NLanders why do women act this way??

Image 1 is before... Image 2 is after

yemite100:
I know say I be mumu
They need to plank me 2 by 2 for head

Where you dey stay make I come help you

Spat on it to do what? Lol oga you no get anyy

GoldenJAT:
I no go fit advice this kind person!! Na to slap am de hungry me!! See wetin human being de vomit because of woman.

My brother e tire me oh na why I give am this advice normally I no dey even send such posts but this one my heart weak when I read am finish

Kobojunkie:
He will get peace by proving to himself that he is no different from the girl? What kind of reasoning is that one abeg?

This kind of "attachment" described here by the OP is instead intended to reveal to him that he has some deep psychological chains he needs to break within himself and until he does that, he will only keep finding himself in these messed-up situations where he is having to stomach what he obviously abhors for the sake of it.

Anyone who finds themselves dealing with relationships in a similar manner as OP needs what is serious mental intervention and fast. And none of that simping/redpill nonsense you lot like to drone on about all day in here.

Oga mental evaluation bawo? He just needs a reality check and fvcking someone else will help quicken that check, he's already dating himself so there's no need for saying he's cheating cos there's no relationship

Profperfect:
Thanks bro. This is a real life situation no lies . I accept all the shades , I swallow all the insults , a person that is always open to correction . Thanks once again . I have heard you

Bro please I beg you in the name of God please cheat on her fvck someone else and see the peace you'll get, I won't lie I get very attached when I love someone but the moment I fvck another girl it's almost as if that one I was crazy about is just a wallpaper. Why? Because I don't cheat and when I do it's final, I kept telling my ex she never listened until she fvcked up big time by cheating and I caught her, I didn't break up immediately tho because I still loved her but the moment I made up my mind and cheated that was the end of it

Profperfect:
.


No sir not what you think. The thing is I won't lie too, I will be very honest she has been very very nice , she was all there for me in my darkest and lowest times , ever supportive , wanting to see me make it , she can sacrifice her grain to see that I make a tree or even a forest , its just this aspect of her. You won't believe she is all am saying if you meet her for the first few times in person I am the only one who knows her secrets

Oh Lord save a brother, the earlier you know and understand that women are deceptive and vindictive the better for you, they always act nice and sweet. I don already talk plenty for up but I will give you one golden advice my nigg@. NEVER EVER TAKE BACK A WOMAN WHO CHEATS ON YOU NOT TO TALK OF TO WIFE HER. Yes you can just keep fvcking her if you want but never take her seriously. Your girlfriend is a chronic cheat surrounded in her room by bunch of joysticks.

I for like give you advice sha bro, I for also like call you simp but olohun if I call you simp that's me being very very generous, babe tell you say she no fit submit to you and you still dey dream to wife her?? Babe insult your mama and papa and you still dey with am lol I laugh in Swahili this your story get as e be and e be as e get, then to top it off she cheated on you and you are aware and it was even countless times with her boss and now the boss misses her pvssy and wants to give her a new job..... Now back to you, it's either you're a very stupid man or you're ugly, but even ugly people no mumu like this, you have low self esteem and you love toxic attractions because I see no reason why a full grown man with hairy balls will come to NL and spew the trash you just did, you have seen enough red flags better call it quits because I can 100% assure if you marry her you fit no live long. Run away, flee with all the strength in you. No matter what she tells you better leave that woman alone she's evil and only after your life, yes the breakfast wey you go serve her go pain you pass cos obviously you're dating yourself but it's better than dying young, look for one small Shima wey you go dey knack first to hold body, maybe you should even cheat so your mumu eyes can open, sometimes cheating helps you realize you're with the wrong person. ... I know say I don insult you well well but you deserve am, take the advice sha and may God be with you. If you like read am finish still go follow am like zombie, it's your funeral.

Urgent tookay

Lol OP your step bro na Mr Knackason

LyfeJennings:
What U guys call ice is crack bruh
Hmmmm
and U know
it only shows the kind of person U urself are
Ur last born dey smoke crack
U never tell ur parents or beat nonsense from him body

Ice is not crack uncle ITK ice is crystal meth crack is crack cocaine