₦airaland Forum

I've learned alot from my past relationships. Have you ever heard of that expression: you learn from your mistakes"? Although I didn't appreciate it then or find anything positive in my past experiences then. As the saying goes: What didn't kill me matured me and made me stronger. So in a way, I'm kinda glad I went through what I went through. Apparently, there were areas in my life that I needed to grow in. And the only way to grow and learn is to go through life's experiences. It's all apart of becoming a responsible respectful moral adult. Some people may never learn and continue to keep going through the same motions repeatedly and so whatever that case is, they will continue to go through until they learn life's lesson. However, I know it's still alot more lessons to come but overall I've come to love myself more and appreciate the little things in life and learned life is too short when you are dwelling on petty things that don't really matter at all such as what could've been or what it has been. I'm focused on the present and my future. Any trials and tribulations that came my way I'm still grateful to my Lord for I know it was He who brought me through it and it made me more knowledgable and a better me.

I'm confused. Why would you to get your "ex" phone number again? That's what makes them an "ex". They are no longer apart of your life. If you are still trying to pull thier number or trying to make them jealous. Then you are not over them and they STILL have the upper hand. So the best revenge is forget about their phone number, forget who their with and what they are doing. What he/she is doing is none of your business and should not matter to you. That is, if you are fully moved on with your life. Life is too short as it is. Move on with your life and leave the past the past.

Ouch, this is a VERY sticky situation.  Your cousin versus your friend? I'm sure both of them mean alot to you and you don't want to create even more havoc/drama especially when it's none of your business. But this is hard. I'm in agreement with everyone else. I would stay out of this. In the meantime, maybe you can try persuading your friend to hook up with somebody else. Sooner or later, darkness will be brought into the light. He will soon realize that you simply can not "buy" love. Love is given freely and willingly. Give him time, he will soon realize he is getting played and hopefully leave her.

rawswagga:
dis hot afternoon am being dump by lover.i feel like killing myself.wat will i do

I'm so sorry to hear you and your girlfriend has broken up. I completely understand what you are going through. Many of us has experience this situation one time or another. As cliche as this sound, time will heal all wounds.  Just allow yourself enough time to grieve first before jumping head first back into a relationship. I'm not saying don't date or anything like that. But I think you should give yourself time to get over her.  I'm a firm believer in all things happen for a reason. As much as you care for her,she may not be the right one for you. What is meant to be will be. But contemplating to kill yourself over her.  She is not worth it. Then think, what's going to happen. She will still move on with her life despite of. The best revenge is to pray and ask the Lord for strength and guidance and move on with your life. What did you do before she came into your life? Your life didn't begin with her and it definitely shouldn't end with her. You never know what the future holds for you. If she feels she will be happier without you, then as much as it hurts, you have to release her. Some people think the grass is always greener on the other side and then once they get there, they realize it's not. There is someone out there who was designed for you and will love you, know what she wants and treat you right.

Wow! Interesting video. To sum it up, Jay Z is self contridicting himself. The bible says Satan is the minister of music. That is how God made him. It's sad that he don't believe in Christ. But like the bible says: it will come the day when EVERY knee shall bow and EVERY tongue will confess that JESUS IS LORD!

No, I do not believe in re-incarnation. I am a Christian woman and believe that when we die, your spirit man either go to heaven or to hell. There is no such thing as coming back as a child, grasshopper, opposite sex etc. or anything foolish of that nature. I also believe that all those who have accepted Christ Jesus as their Lord and Savior goes home to be with God. And besides, if you are in heaven, why would you want to come back here? Lol, and the non-believers spirits are sent to hell to wait on the judgment for when Christ comes back and then cast in the lake of fire. And the believers will be written in the book of life and live eternally.

Hello Nairaland,

I'm new here and been enjoying many of the various forums you have here. I am a 34yr. old christian African American female born and raised in Detroit, Michigan U.S.A. My parents are black and from the south (Tennessee). I'm currently engaged to a wonderful Yoruba man. I do plan on visiting Africa in the near future as I am curious about your culture.

Well, I think YOU have to decide if his appearance is a deal breaker for you.  Is this someone you can spend the rest of your life with. Besides his clothes, it's a lot of things you will need to take into consideration to settle down with this man.

Is he a caring and loving man? Is he willing to listen to your point of views? A provider for his family as well as helping others? Upholds great integrity, great personality with ambitions in life. Does he has his head on straight? Just to name a few.

I'm kinda puzzeled is to why you would break up with a guy just because of his clothes he wears. Was he treating you right and the issue was his outfits? To me, that's kinda superficial. However, I can understand you not wanting to be out on the town with your man with a torn stained t-shirt, faded flooding jeans with holes in it and some old beat up tennis shoes that talks back when he walks.  Maybe you can try talking to him and you too can come to a compromise. That when you go out together if he would consider dressing to the occasion. But at home or it's the two of you alone, that he can wear whatever he wants.

These just are some ideas to think about. But I'm sorry if I find a man that's good to me, clean and will make a really good match with me, that loves me and that I love wholeheartedly I would be with him. Nobody is perfect. Everyone will have faults.  You not going to find not one person woman/man who has everything together with no faults. Not in this carnal world. Open communication and understanding is the key. Just let him know the issues you have with him and how important it is to you. When you really love and care for someone, you want to make them happy and vice versa.

Just please don't go into this relationship thinking you can change him. He has to want to change. Understand that if he is not willing to change and you decide to settle down with him, then you can can not get upset or ghost on him because of this issue. It's better to tackle this right now before going any further.

Good luck!

Personally, I LOVE men with deep voices. I find that to be very sexy! Especially if he has a excellent etiquette phone voice. Lord have mercy!!! I look sometimes at the guy when he talks, but it's more like a glance and then a smile and then I continue chillin' or whatever I'm doing at the moment. So I say be proud of your voice. That's hot!

Lol, You all are cracking me up with your responses. I just thought of a few more deal breakers, if he stares or gaulk at other women and not listening to word I'm saying. I don't care if he looks, but be smooth about and not be obvious. You all mentioned body odor/mouth odor. I once met up with a guy and he smelled like he wet the bed. I take great pride in dowing myself up and make sure everything is tight and smelling good. First impressions are everything to me, and if he don't make no kind of effort in bathing or brushing his teeth or can't take hint that we are NOT going to be playing tongue hockey or bumping pelvises no time soon. I'm out!

I can only speak for myself. And that's a taboo. There is no way on God's green earth that I would prefer to date a married man versus a single man? What the?? That can't be true! There are women/men who does that and don't have a problem with it. But I do. I don't share my man and I wouldn't want him sharing me either. That's out! Holla

If I understand correctly, are you asking how would you be able to tell if your gal friend had a bosom job and lying about it? Normally, with fake bosoms, they are much firmer than normal bosoms no doubt and don't have the natural jiggle affect like natural ones. You stated she has gained weight, it's possible her bosoms has increased naturally due to her weight gain. Bosoms contains fat. For many women that's usually where the weight goes/leaves first. So yes, it's possible her bosoms increased in size without any surgery. That, or she has a mighty good padded push up wonder bra.

In my opinion, this guy is straight up wrong for putting that kind of pressure on his woman. Then to give her ultimatum if she don't fiance him then he going to leave her.  If she has the money and it won't put her into a financial bind, then I would do it. But since you stated she doesn't have the money and will have to borrow from someone else. Then he should understand that she does not have the money to give to him.

But to put conditions on "love" is NOT real love. Love is unconditional. And by him saying that, he is putting conditions and boundaries on his love.  I would say, she may need to rethink if this is someone she wants to marry anyway. Because who is he to make her prove her love for him by going into further debt just to marry him. She is willing to accept him as is and love him despite him not having anything to bring to this relationship. Then for him to throw a low blow like that, that's selfish, mean and careless in my opinion.

I don't think it's necessarily wrong for a woman to ask a man out. Some guys may find that flattering or attractive in a woman to go after what she wants. However, I myself wouldn't. I guess you can say I'm old fashion and prefer the man to ask me out. The bible says he who findeth a wife, findeth a good thing. So those are the words that I live by.

kulyie:
@ naijaboy so u min its very posible 4 a man 2 disvirgin a woman he doesnt luv or doesnt av any serious intentions 4 ha despite d fact dat he's aware dat d woman luvs him.so 2 him sex is just lyk any oda daily activity there's no extra sensation or hula bula bout breakin in2 a woman d way a woman takes it

I'm not a guy, but I agree with 1naijaboy.  It has been my experience that it's just that newness of a no other guy being there and being the first to take her innocence. And having that "tight" feel. But some not knowingly it will be just as good, if not better if the woman is in-tuned and educated with her body enough by knowing how to exercise those PC (pubococcygeus) muscles.

>>God showed me my husband,

He do not need to tell A PERSON TO TELL YOU,

He can tell you directly whether it through a dream, picture, voice, or whatever it is that HE need to do to get your attention,

A pastor can tell you in confirmation what you asked of God, But he SHOULD NEVER TELL YOU WHO TO MARRY,<<

Well put, I completely agree!

Hello,

I'm new to the boards. I've been a lurker for quite sometime. However, I decided to chime in on this discussion. But my deal breaker on a 1st date would be if he is talking on his cellphone if it's not an absolute emergency or asking inappropriate questions.