₦airaland Forum

How long are the separations? I can understand you feeling sad/depressed when he leaves, because if my husband left me for long periods of time I would be depressed. But to this extent I don't know. If this becoming a big problem within your marriage of you experiencing separating anxiety or whatever, you may need to seek professional help about these "episodes".

Yes, it's possible.  You two could be high school sweethearts forever.  Not to sound like a old lady in a shoe.  But the two of you are still very young.  You two have alot of growing and maturing to do.  Although you say you may "look" older, the fact remains, you are NOT older.  Entering in adulthood changes many things in a woman and a man.  I'm not saying that you two couldn't live happily ever after, but right now. It's still very early on to be worrying yourselves to rather or not she is "the one".  Enjoy your teenage years because you won't get those back.  What was meant to be will be.  I think it's great that the two of you get along terrifically and seem very compatible.  But as you two go threw the changes of life, that doesn't mean it will remain permanently that way.  Livedit is not being pessimistic about your relationship/friendship, just being realistic.  I truly hope all goes well and that you were blessed enough to find someone whom you get along with and connect with on so many different levels.

I've never heard anyone use that term in this kind of situation.  But my take would be that she is frustrated/disillusioned with your indeciveness of committing to her.

Oh definitely!!! Without a shadow of a doubt.

kunmibola:
@livedit,
Thanks so much but do u have any particular home pregnancy testin mind and whats the reliability of the result?

I've heard F*rst Response is a very good one and one of if not the best accurate home pregnancy test kits. But there are many out there. Just make sure she follows the instructions exactly as they ask.

He/they must be admiring the "scenery" considering men are extremely visual creatures. Although "staring" or "galking" is rude, some men can't help themselves and lose all other focus except what's before them.

You ladies pretty much covered it.  As African1 stated, the list is endless.  I love the femininity of being a woman, soft smooth skin, curves, the perfume essence, bone structure, daintiness, my voice, my walk, "assets", being able to adore my fellow King and the object of his desire, being the protected, my finesse, my intelligence of having my own mind.  It goes on and on.  God knew what he was doing when he created "woman."  We are the pearls of life, the other half and the final piece to man's puzzle.

It's possible, but like Rokiatu said, only way to be sure is for her to go see a doctor.  She can also go pick up a home pregnancy test at a nearby local drugstore or retail shop as well.  It takes less than 10 minutes to take a pregnancy test, so she can go to a neaby restroom to find that out.

MRbrownJAY:
^^^as much as your post makes plenty of sense you forgot to ask the poster an IMPORTANT question:"do you still live with your mama?" Dang MrBrownJay, I sure enough forgot. Even still, his mother shouldn't be dictating to him on who or how many women he should date. But she CAN dictate how many women he bring to her home if he indeed still live at home.


@poster
if you live in your mama's house then i would certainly understand why she expects you to only bring ONE gf around (unless you expects your mum to lie for you)

also, since you are clearly cheating on both gals, and cant even make your own mind, i suggest you sit down, and think very seriously about what you need and look for in this life. if you cant answer this question by yourself then there is not much WE(strangers) can do for you.

True dat!

I think this makes great reading material. I liked it actually.

I would advise him to take his girlfriend to the clinic to get checked out and politly let him know that you feel uncomfortable discussing this kind of issue so newly into your relationship.

If you know deep down in your heart that you couldn't NEVER see this person as a potential mate then why waste your time and theirs?  If you are "unsure", then give them a chance.  You may find out that they just maybe be a match.  If at that time you STILL don't find them as a suitable match, then end it and move on to the next person.  Last thing a person needs is to be someone's "pity" date because you don't want to hurt their feelings.  Then that's when you start leading them on.  And you know that's straight-up wrong.

Unless you plan on committing to one, then I say date and have fun.  That's what dating all about.  Are you becoming serious about one or the other?  If you are going to "quit" one, then make sure it's on your own accord and NOT someone else's.  Are you ready to just settle down and date just one woman?  It IS your life and you should live your life how you feel fits.  Besides my Lord and Savior, I live my life how Livedit want to.  Not what mom says, sister says, brother says, pastor says, teacher says and so on.  They can only advise you, the choice is YOURS.  You do what's right for you.

It means just that! You are NOT her type. You do not possess or meet the qualifications she is seeking in a friend/partner.

[quote author=Lord_Reed link=topic=700515.msg8602511#msg8602511 date=1309202191]Noo not that he considers those gifts as romantic rather he gives more of them than the traditional romantic gifts perfumes, lotion, lingerie etc He does give them but comparatively in smaller quantities to the other more practical gifts.

Would you still mind?[/quote]Thank you for explaining that Lord_Reed. Well, if he occasionally bought me "romantic" items from time to time that would be okay. Although wallpaper, dishes, utensils etc. isn't practically a gift, I would be thankful that he even at least thought to buy these items when needed. So that show's he is responsible and conscientious. So no, I wouldn't mind at all.

I guess I'm puzzeled to why my "significant other" would consider spoons, dishes, wallpaper etc. as "romantic" gifts since those items are everyday usable for the "house" for both him and I (and family) to use so how would that be a personal romantic gift for me?

I'm not picky or hard to please either, but that is pretty much dissappointing.  I'd prefer him to go to the Dollar Store and pick up a dollar card and a dollar balloon instead.

Yes. Because I know my husband is trustworthy and also "financial prudent". So why wouldn't I?

I'm not understanding what you mean by your question. (Men are afraid of a married woman) In general?

I'm American and my husband is from the Yoruba Tribe. So I voted "yes" for him.

Aawwll, you're so sweet!   Livedit is a BBW and appreciate the positive motivational kinds words.  

I have family members who are also big that are obitual liars and very "loose".  What's sad is that I can't even have a close relationship with most of them due to their disloyalty and cheating ways. Because I don't need to be wondering why she/they are hitting on my husband.  Livedit repells "drama".  

With that being said; honestly, faithfulness, loyalty etc. come in all sizes, shapes and colors, not just BBW.  These traits are either in you or it's not.  Don't matter the size of the "frame".

 That's so sad to hear Phate07.  Not all women are selfish and careless like that.  That's a dog on shame to be asking someone for money after only 2 dates.  I would feel like a a pathetic loser if I'd ever done anything like that! But then again, that's just livedit. You can have a beautiful woman who won't try and use you for your money.  Don't lose faith.  Your Queen is out there waiting,

Oookkaayy.  Then politely confront her about the "secret".

[quote author=Mr, Cork link=topic=697549.msg8577198#msg8577198 date=1308850052]madam can i love you like Kolonto Ice cream? [/quote]What the? I love your sense of humor.

What is meant to be will be regardless of school or not.  Right now,  your main focus is your education and bettering yourself so that you will be able to have a future later on in life.  College is serious business and it's going to require alot of your time with studying and so forth.  Therefore, with any relationship, you two will have to take that into consideration and find ways to work around that in the meantime.  I know you two have been together for some years now and you truly care about each other.  But you have to be realistic and realize life ain't no joke and the only way to get ahead in life is with a good education.  So both of you should be taking this seriously.  You just have to plan your time together responsibly and in a orderly fashion. I assume your relationship is pretty much solid now, so worrying about something down the line you may or may not be able to control is irrelevant right now.  Just stop wasting time worry about the "later" and enjoy the available free time you two have together now.

My take would be that she lacks maturity, insecurity issues, lack of self-esteem/respect and/or some loose screws.  Why would I even want to be with someone if I had to "control" them?  What kind of real validation or sincerity would I get in their actions if they only did what I "told" them? If I'm worrying they going to cheat all the time, then why be with anybody then.  Your "power" can only hold so much or for so long.  Livedit think's it's quite pointless and loco too.

I would think meeting someone who doesn't have an "ex" would be a disadvantage.  How would a person mature and grow if they don't get out and socialize and date?  Although my past relationships didn't work out, I've learned alot from those experiences and what it did was taught me about myself by strengthening me so that when I finally met my now husband, those experiences made me into a better woman.  Then to, like someone else pointed out, somethings just don't work out.  If I were single, I really wouldn't care for meeting a guy and he had no kind of social life at all.

Livedit lov'em both.  I'm called a marshmallow all the time because I'm so sentimental.  But if I had to choose personally, I think love letters are a bit sweeter than an text message.  Then again, so are those "greeting cards" or "e-cards".  Gotta lov'em all!  

Just because she doesn't answer each and every time you call doesn't necessarily mean she is cheating. It's always a possibility, but this isn't criminal evidence to prove she is cheating. How often do you two see each other? What are your conversations like without the "accusations"? Only way to know is to truly observe ALL her actions. If you are truly bothered by this, then I suggest you asking her. If she say's no, then it's no point to keep harassing her with that same question. You simply let her know how that makes you feel when she doesn't answer your calls. If she cares for you, she will take your feelings into consideration and try harder to answer the phone when you call. If not, then you have to decide if this is the kind of relationship you want. We all can only assume or guess what she's doing.

There's nothing you can do but pray that she gets her life right. Because eventually, what is done in darkness will be brought to light. So some people have to hit rock bottom and learn the hard way to learn. It's quite obvious she is not ready for marriage with her still playing the field but with sin, comes repercussions. And the repercussions could be up to but definitely not limited to her losing her fiancee.

Where is her integrity for God's sake!?? Livedit couldn't even see herself going to her parents asking for 20k let alone a "friend". The girl really have guts to be asking a "friend" for that kind of money or money at all for that matter. The nerve of some people.

Just because you are "beautiful" does not excuse you for using people. So sad,

So what they are looking at him.  If the guy got it going on, then he got it going on.  Why be intimidated though?  You have to understand that there will ALWAYS be someone out there more handsome, smarter, taller, bigger, successful etc. more than you.  And believe it or not, there is another guy out there better than HIM.  Last thing you need to be doing is comparing yourself to other men.  You will only continue to make yourself feel bad, worthless and as you put it "intimidated".  Finding the perfect mate isn't always about looks.  And believe it or not, not EVERY woman will find that guy appealing.  It's all a matter of taste and it's way too many other people in this world to be worrying about this guy.  You don't have to be most handsome man in this world to have "swag".  It's all about how you feel, think and carry YOURSELF that will attract good women.  Looks can only get you so far.  I'm sure it's plenty of positive things you can highlight about yourself to help build your self esteem back up.  If you don't believe in yourself, who will?