Maybe she felt led to tell her because she is concerned about your health and the people you are associating with. Have she tried talking with you prior too her exposing to your mother what you are doing behind closed doors? Maybe she is someone that just "talks too much" or just a plain tattletale. Now that the cats out the bag sort of speak, maybe you should ask her why she felt the need to "spill the beans" about your business. Then decide from there on what to do. Is what she said the truth? I agree, it IS YOUR business of what you do and how you live your life, but maybe she felt by telling your mother, you would seek help or re-think about what you are doing and the people you associate yourself with.

Is this the only eligible female in your area? Why can't you just be friends with her? Yes, she does sound a bit childish and immature but regardless, the girl is TAKEN. You only going to create un-necessary drama because if her "guy" finds out, you are in for it. Why is she spending the night at your house? How old are the two of you?

Leave that girl alone and find someone who is SINGLE and don't play games.

Because you didn't "love" her she ended up in the hospital with an "illness"??

I seriously doubt you not loving her is the cause of her being admitted into the hospital? Maybe you didn't know her as well as you thought. There was definitely something else going on with her and she maybe didn't let on. Even if it was psychological issues.

I'm assuming you don't mean all, but obviously, they may not want to be "bothered".  Maybe some just "look" like that and it's no offense to you.  Maybe it's the sun in their eyes or they maybe having personal issues therefore creating this "attitude".  Do you smile and speak to them when approaching them?  Sometimes not knowing, you may give off a signal that you "want" something from them and the "frown" could be a automatic defense mechanism to let you know from jump they ain't the one to be messed with.  Could be a numerious of things it don't necessarily always have to do with your "looks" every time.

I completely agree with MRBrownJay on this one. She has made her bed, now she must lay in it. This guy isn't going to go away just that easily. He'd be like a strayed cat, once you keep feeding him, he will keep coming back for more and more. She need to confess to her husband her complete ultimate betrayal and try to savage her marriage and tell that fool to kick rocks.

Depending upon the circumstances the "depth" of your relationship, either way you go about it, you may offend them.  But if their calling is excessive and "annoying" then they need to know.  It's about being respectful and courteous.  I would kindly let them know how you feel.  It's not always about what you say, but how you say it.  Show compassion when you tell them.  Just let them know that you are not a phone person (or is, and not feeling it now) you are dealing with personal issues and you'd appreciate some space.

I would say we were pretty much equally happy. Although, I must say, Livedit was like 2 hours late to her own wedding. It wasn't intentional, but I know my husband-to-be at that time was wondering where I was just like everyone else. But everything worked out and we all had a good time so that's all that matters anyway.

Hey Mrs. Chima!

Girl, you are hilarious. I really think first dates should be kept fun and somewhat suspenseful so you two will want to meet up again. Many of what was mentioned is not a preferred subject that should be discussed on the first date. Although they are things you should know as the relationship continue on. But knowing their life's story in one night does not sound appealing at all. But then again, you should know the basics of your date for the night/day or whatever.

Some people lack common sense and self esteem that if your partner halt all contact with you completely months on end, unless something critically happened, it's safe to say this person is no longer interested in you. So instead of completely releasing that person out your life, they hang on with an inch of hope that you two will be back together. Because in their mind, it was never made "official". No closure was ever made. No one confessed or physically said through their mouth to the other person: " It's over or I no longer want to be in a relationship with you".

Huh? Lady-loving-lady? A lesbian? I surely hope he would not until she get herself together.

You have GOT to be kidding me!  I'm sure you haven't dated EVERY woman in your town and they all are like that.  Surely, you can find a decent, mature, independent, fun loving woman to date without resulting to lusting after underaged KIDS!  There is no way possible that you can convince livedit or any other moral minded person that a KID is "marriage or relationship" material.  These are children you are eyeing.  Children that's into video games, McDonald's and Transformers.  A "relationship" is the furthest thing from their undeveloped immature mind.  I think that is awful that you are stalking these young girls.  I'm sure their parents won't be too keen on some older guy hitting on their child either.  Here in America, it IS against the law.  It's not only legally wrong, but morally too.  I truly hope and pray that you will seek some professional and spiritual help so that you will leave these children alone.

kokoye:

^^^

I'm sure you know he was just messing around as always.

But guess what, some tribes do still kinda sell their daughters, although they may have another name for the trade

Definitely kokoye! He is hilarious!


Wow! They still do that kind of stuff?? I don't know how people do that.

Wow! Only 3 months and the chic is living with you already?? You two definitely moved way too fast as you two don't even know each other. It's quite obvious she is already annoyed and don't want to be bothered with you so that's why she is keeping her distance. My thing is, if she is annoyed/mad/irritated or whatever, why not move out? Anyway's, just use this situation as a learning experience. Look before you leap.

Personally, I wouldn't go. No hard feelings. Above all, why would I even WANT to go? We are not together? I could careless who or what he's doing. Besides, I would feel awkward or weirded out as I'm sure HE would too. I just don't think that would be a good idea on either parts.

It should be however long it takes. Either that person just continue to wait or walk away. You can't or shouldn't put a time limit/frame on someone saying "yes". Why? Because it's a choice you make when you feel when you are ready. Not a choice pressured to make because the other person think you should and/or be ready. So my answer, however long it takes.

You so silly Mr, Cork. Black women or any woman is priceless. If you find yourself having to pay then you have definitely lost your way. You can't buy true love and happiness.

So she will be paying you a visit soon. I think it's a good idea at that time for you two to get away alone together and you discuss to her how you've been feeling about all this. This will truly be a very good time for both of you to lay all cards out on the table (sort of speak). Then from that point on, if no attempted change or effort has not be in order, then like I said don't continue to put yourself through this heartache. Not even for her. You too deserve to be happy. Just let her know how this really makes you feel and ask if she will try harder to work on those areas and you two to try to come up with a solution about your relationship moving forward.

Maybe because "looks" may not be necessarily be all that important of a attribute to have in finding a long term partner.  Outside beauty can only get people so far.  Being relationship material is more than just "looks", it's also about the substance of a person.  No one says you have to be or marry a super model or marry someone hidhideousBut "ugly" to whom is what I say. To this person or that person.  Maybe the "fine" guy don't think his woman is "ugly".  I've seen very fine-looking men, but their personality was so ugly that it made them ugly and that goes the same with women.  So it's the whole package, not just what's on the outside that defines a person.  To be "fine", you got to be fine IN and OUT.

How far is the distance between the two of you?  Long distance relationships can be very stressful and aggrivating at times since you can't physically be with the one you love.  Especially if it's been that kind of relationship throughout the whole time.  It's possible she just maybe losing interest in you because of it. Again, we can all only assume what's going on with her.  Maybe it's something personal going on in her life right now and this relationship may not be no longer at the top of her priority list.  Or maybe she could be dating someone else and this person is occupying her time.  Have you tried paying a visit to her or vice versa?  No matter how busy a person is, if you truly mean something to her, she will find some kind of time to keep in contact with you.  It may not be as frequent, but it will be regularly.  It takes sacrifices from both of you to make this relationship work (IF that is what SHE wants) and if things continue on like it has been.  I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news my brother, but you may need to just let her be and try to find someone else whom will treat you right and make just as much effort to be with you.

  You never mentioned how long you've been dating these two women.  "Graduate" seems to have her stuff together, independent and can take it or leave it girl whilst the other girl, is more emotionally tied and invested in you than you are in her.  How does emotional girl make you feel when you are together?  Is there any kind of connection or chemistry there?  Does emotional girl make you happy and make you want to be a better man?  If not, then I think your problem isn't so much a problem you are making it out to be.  If you have no feelings for emotional girl, then I think you should call it quits and let her go so that she can move on to find someone who will return the love back to her.

As for graduate girl, you can try strictly dating her and getting to know her more and find out of you two actually connect on other levels.  You seem like you have slight feelings for her, so I think it would be worth to try to persue her exclusively so you can get to know more about her and so she can get to know you on a deeper level.  You and/or both of you may find that you wasn't that all "interested" as you thought.  Or you may find out that she actually was "the one".  Only way to know, is to SPEND MORE TIME TOGETHER.  If graduate girl isn't down for it, then you may have to consider starting over from square one.

Unfortunately, livedit would have to say no. Just the thought of her dating someone who could be her parent or in some cases, grand-parent is a complete turn-off. Let alone a friend's parent.

  I find it very ironic that there is no kind of justice or legal system to report this man

This man has beaten you, used you, mistreated you, cheated on you and done everything else under the sun to you.  I know it has to be somebody where you reside at that could help and direct you.  Just know that once you begin this process, there is no turning back.  I'm sure you can contact some kind of immigration attorney to help you in divorcing this man.  He definitely need to be reported and I would advise you not to stop and continue pursuing this case no matter what.

This man surely will NOT get away with all that he has done to you.  My prayers goes out to you.

BOTH are bad. But I would say the pain of "wondering" which translates to contstant worrying wondering if, how, where, when, why, who, what and so on. At least by knowing, you can make a decision of what to do and try to mend and get through rather than sweating bulletts all the time wondering what's going on. But regardless, like I said, both are bad to know and wonder about. Because then when I think about after knowing, you wonder and/or worrying if it's still happening. Too devastating and cruel for anybody has to endure or go through. I'd rather not have either!

Sounds like she has some psychological emotional issues going on. Have she always been this way? If so, that could just be how she deals with any stress or problems. Either way you go about it, this is a subject you want to approach gently and calmly. As it been known, she has problems controlling her emotions and the last thing you want is to create or give a bad vibe that will trigger one of her emotional breakdowns.

Have she always been this way? Is she like this every waking day of her life or occasionally? It could a hormone imbalance, PMS (as someone pointed out), and/or just overly emotional and little to no patience. Who knows? If this is affecting your relationship, then you definitely need to try some kind of counciling or something together maybe to learn how to better deal with these emotions.

Well, speaking as a BBW, obviously, weight plays a huge factor in your relationship and it appears to be a deal breaker. Like someone mentioned earlier, if you are the type who doesn't like "big" women, then please do yourself AND her a favor and break it off.

Livedit will be honest with you, if my husband who came at me or someone I know with a question like that and then came at me like this. Livedit wouldn't have married him. You are going to love AND accept ALL of me, regardless of what I could or look like. So considering she may have a weight issue now, it's a strong possibility it can be later on even if and/or when she chooses to lose the weight. So you either accept her how she is, or break it off and keep stepping. Why continue to waste your time as well as her time if you don't plan on accepting and marrying someone with a "large" stature. Believe me, you have every right to be concerned about weight due to the health issues that can be associated with it. You have every right to be with whomever you want to be with. And weight is an issue, so don't settle for anything less.

Well, I'm praying to God for 3 children with my Nigerian husband. He actually only wants two. I think he happy as long as he has a "junior". Unless it's in God's will to have 5+ children, that's not going to happen if we can help it.

Both in my opinion. Because either way it goes, man or woman need another volunteer (man or woman) to be promiscuous with anyway? Can't be promiscuous solo.

I agree with Mrs. Chima and kokoye's response. But at the same time, I do believe you two need to deal with the issues and not just keep sweeping it under the rug. Like Mrs. Chima suggested, maybe you can try writing (email or a letter) to discuss the issue sanely and calmly. Most men don't like that confrontation of arguing as they feel it won't solve anything anyway. But if it's an issue that hasn't been dealth with and resolved, that same problem will keep resurfacing bigger and worser each time. Communication is the key and avoiding it all the time is only setting yourselves up for something more horrifically devastating in the future.

Another touchy subject. It's possible she is still unsure. This is why you two would go to the pastor for marriage counciling first to determine rather or not you two are suitable partners.  Livedit not the one to seek the "pastor" rather than "God" about MY life.  Your pastor is praying to the same God.  Maybe you can try explaining that to her. Just let her know the both of you can ask the pastor to pray over your marriage, but leaving it up to the pastor for the final judgement is not a good idea.  Pastors too can miss it.  That definitely was the case with my now husband.  If she is still reluctant about it, she just maybe scared and/or unsure that you are meant to be her future husband for in which case, you either know or you don't.  You want to be 100 percent sure this is your wife and vice versa before entering into something so sacred.

Is your real issue because she is eating too much in general or just eating up all of YOUR food?  Have she always over ate like this?  If not, it could be something physically or psychologically going on within her that's causing her to over eat like this.  It could be that she is stressed out or maybe she is pregnant and don't know it.  Who knows.   I suggest you letting her know that you are concerned about her eating habits so that you two can try to come to a solution for this problem.

Pweety4me:

All he needs is to change his bottom  lip!!

Yes perfectly correct, they all think using lip balm is for females or a homo thing. . .people need to educate themselves and stop pushing us away with their dry cracked lips.

Pweety4me?? Lol What the?   Stop it!  

Mrs.Chima:

Hey Mrs. Livedit!

Hey girl!!!!