₦airaland Forum

BUSH MAN: and also this cold winter weather here is not helping naija women, it make them look dry and rough, and also so their fake hair make them look horrible why? cant they keep their own hair no matter how small, i mean.. keep it real and natural!!

nubian22: A lady close to my office called me today after work and told me that a man and a woman came to ask about me today, she said they asked her about my character and if i was a good girl. When i ask her who they were she said that she does not really know them but from the way they asked about me and even called my name that it shows that they know me. I dont really know who is pple are or what they want. My question now is can a man ask pple about a woman that does not know him or a woman that he has not talk to.

2buff: You need to pray long and hard before settling with ANY woman, even if you guys have been dating for 5 years.
You need heavenly intelligence gathering so you know just what you have on your hands going forward[b] for the rest of your life[/b] because as someone said, a woman can form for a long time and then show her true face within 2 weeks of wedding.

Forming comes easy to a woman. It takes a lot of "that same energy" to be on make-up/wig/braz.weave all day everyday so you best believe that that energy could easily be used for other things as well if they have things to hide.

But if you have already made the commitment, you gotta deal with that creature so she never raises her wretched appendage to your face again. How you do that is totally up to you. No limits

xamphara: Oh Rokiatu...it is pathetic that such a question will come just so soon. You dont know how much of pressure married men get. More ladies want to hit them, more even want to bed them or untie their marriage and get the man over to them.Married men are generally under pressure. But yes, you can smell sex on a man. But if you are denying him something(offspring or whatever) as you once posited that you were nt ready for babies yet even though u were legally married then, dont blame a man when we choose what farm to plant his seedlings.
Not like you will always know, but if you are smart and meticulous you will be able to tell a change from his usual 'smell' when he returns from work or when he has just returned from some sexcercise, factoring out time of his arrival from work, the fact that his eyes may generally avoid urs, the fact that he is more tired or something. It is not like you smell his cologne-change to be sure. His mistress(that is if he has any)could be using the same perfume as you, that numbs your antennas. If you really are suspicious of ur hubby(which i doubt is the case here), get a new phone laced with a spysoftware that keeps track of his calls and sms. Word!

bisi16: For a woman to slap her husband in public, means enuf slapping dey go on 4 their house. Anywayz, na d man put himself for tyt corner. Am against hitting women but for me, sincerely, It can only happen once (u know d rest), even if she be d garri winner..

@austushi1, women are exceptionally good at concealing their true character for d duration of friendship (even if na 10yrs) and show it to u in just 2wks after weddn. So its not a question of being careful, its being LUCKY.

Rocktation: She prolly acted on impulse. Happens to the best of us.

chel-sy:
I met my my bf in 2006, he lives @lag while i live @ Asaba,wasnt ready 2 date him den..in feb 2008 he travelled 2 london for vacation and made no contact with me untill march 2009....said he wasnt in good condition dts y he didnt call...he continued 2 luv n care 4 me so i decided 2 date him... Our r/ship was a distance one cos i was schooling in d east while he does his biz @ lag...he was always der 4 me.. In march 2010 he traveled again 2 US and was mearnt 2 stay @least 3yrs yet no contact till dec wen he called wid a nigeria num....said dt things didnt go as planned dts y he had 2 come bk and dt he couldnt call...asked him if he contacted any of he family members said yes....told him dt @tyms i wonder if he truely travelled and dt wenever i visit him, dt he ll show me his int'l passport... Meanwhile, we ve met so many tyms in lag weneva i go on holidays bt he never took me 2 his house...he preferred visiting me @ my brothers place or lodgin in a hotel nearby...in 2011(my final yr) he visited me and in 2 occassions he beat me and changed my padlock, both of us were inside, he seized my fones and answered all my calls...was mearnt to go somewhere dat day wid my gf bt didnt cos i was locked inside and he didnt open d door wen my gf came knockin....my gf feared and safety and quickly called my mum and informed her, on seeing my mum's call he gave me d phone to pick bt i refused, so he picked it n my mum shouted on him to open d door for me......aft dat i told him to go his way dt am nt interested anymore.....dt ive really seen d devil in him...aft pleading, i forgave him. Now am serving in lagos and my so called boyfriend hasnt invited me to his house, i tried inviting myself bt always make up excuses,meanwhile he is staying wid his cousin and his reason is dt he doesnt wnt his cousin to know me yet... Am in a r/ship of 4yrs yet i dnt no my bf's house,shop,family n friends yet he kips telling me dt i ll know all dat wen d tym is ripe.....he has bin der for me financially.....am really confused ryt now cos i wonder wch bf will not wnt his gf to visit him...finally i told him dt am tired of d whole fin dt i need a brk, sinc den he has bin begging me to come bk and promising to take me to his relations in lagos except where he is staying now dt he ll move out soon and i ll b visiting anytym i want...d issue is dt i dnt love him again n i feel lyk an ingrate cos he has done so much for me......pls nlanders wat do u fink abt him?

deal_ordea: Would you go to the police and confess, or would you hide the body somewhere and don't say
anything?

kaynik: I hate to generalize but I find myself stereotyping cos of the hurt I have been through. I have known this guy for almost 10 years. We started a serious relationship beginning of 2008 and he left the country at the end of that very year. We found our selves in a long distance relationship, something I hated and had told him before he traveled. In 2010 we got engaged and later that year we did our introduction. The distance continued and I also had to leave the country. Now that he was my fiance, things were worse between us.Last year, he insulted and abused me emotionally. He kept accusing me of cheating. One day he wanted to show that he cared and was not really abusing me, so he sent a chat between him and his friend. Unfortunately for him, he copied and pasted the wrong part of the chat as the cat he sent revealed that he was cheating on me with women. He begged and begged and i didnt listen. Not because he cheated but because he was cheating and was also abusive. Please anyone reading his should take note, any man or woman who keeps accusing you of cheating without any proof is actually cheating. Its what they call projecting in psychiatry.
Well, 2012 came and I stupidly forgave him. he promised never to insult me again and he was true to his promise. He also added that he had broken off with the girl. Just yesterday a lady got in touch with and revealed that this my fiance has been dating her since 2008. I always sensed it but this guy kept lying for four straight years. He is manipulative and smooth. Besides the cheating, he has put me through hell.
Now the problem is I can never forgive him but we are planning our wedding. We are supposed to go for counselling next week. I know I have to cancel the marriage counselling but what next. I loved him at some point and I wasted my life with him as i am not young. I have heard stories like this before but I never knew this evil man can be like that. He has also wasted the time of the girl he was cheating on me with as she isnt young too.
How can he get punished, how do I announce to the family what this man has done. am confused and disappointed. please help.

kaynik: I hate to generalize but I find myself stereotyping cos of the hurt I have been through. I have known this guy for almost 10 years. We started a serious relationship beginning of 2008 and he left the country at the end of that very year. We found our selves in a long distance relationship, something I hated and had told him before he traveled. In 2010 we got engaged and later that year we did our introduction. The distance continued and I also had to leave the country. Now that he was my fiance, things were worse between us.Last year, he insulted and abused me emotionally. He kept accusing me of cheating. One day he wanted to show that he cared and was not really abusing me, so he sent a chat between him and his friend. Unfortunately for him, he copied and pasted the wrong part of the chat as the cat he sent revealed that he was cheating on me with women. He begged and begged and i didnt listen. Not because he cheated but because he was cheating and was also abusive. Please anyone reading his should take note, any man or woman who keeps accusing you of cheating without any proof is actually cheating. Its what they call projecting in psychiatry.
Well, 2012 came and I stupidly forgave him. he promised never to insult me again and he was true to his promise. He also added that he had broken off with the girl. Just yesterday a lady got in touch with and revealed that this my fiance has been dating her since 2008. I always sensed it but this guy kept lying for four straight years. He is manipulative and smooth. Besides the cheating, he has put me through hell.
Now the problem is I can never forgive him but we are planning our wedding. We are supposed to go for counselling next week. I know I have to cancel the marriage counselling but what next. I loved him at some point and I wasted my life with him as i am not young. I have heard stories like this before but I never knew this evil man can be like that. He has also wasted the time of the girl he was cheating on me with as she isnt young too.
How can he get punished, how do I announce to the family what this man has done. am confused and disappointed. please help.

baldman: Been officially single since late 2005. Wow! its been 7 years already. My problem is that I have this fear of starting something I am not sure I can follow through with. When you break a woman's heart, you can't escape without some cracks in yours too.

LesbianBoy: everybody knows nigerian women lie more!

nubian22: It not really because i saw him with a girl that made me what to quit, before now he use to be all over me, he did not want me to keep friends both male and female and every day when i get to work i must let him know that i have gotten to work. It was not actually a street thing because he use to come to my house. He promised me marriage and i believe so much that marriage is holy when the bed has not been defiled, so at that point i felt he leave because of the sexual part of the relationship thought we discused and agreed on it. So right now i dont know what him wants by coming back and what of if he did not see me on the day he saw me will he be talking of coming back to my life.
I agreed that i offended him but what he is saying now is that i spoiled it and that i should have made sure that i fixed it. Was i suppose to go on my kneel before he will know that i was sorry and beside the pains that i went thru dat first month i dont think i want to go thru such pain again. So dats why i think that am not ready to go back to him.

baby-mi:
Who lies more? Men or women? As for me I trust myself

Victor joseph: Will you still love her,kill her,send her to the guy that got her inpregnated then after delivery you take her back or simply divorce her? I need your advice guys! cus am presently passing through the situation

lumideezle: It is not a lie o which Naija woman go toast u, I pray o! even if she adores d ground u walk on she wld rather die in silence than come up 2 u. Naija babes are nt romantic in dat area o won o raye oshi. I can relate 2 d Op if a babe comes up 2 me and sends me all d ryt signals I wld just get scared and shy away from d challenge bc I'm really nt used 2 being hit on by a babe asper Naija boy concerned mayb I need 2 upgrade my OS 2 d american version 3.5 lol

4wardever: We have been in the relationship for a while now and are both focused on it. Recently, she expected me to pay for an ASO EBI and I told her that I could not though jokingly but she didnt take it as such and poured out her mind that I do not like "taking charge" when it comes to money matters which she had noticed on several occassions and blah blah blah. Because of this, she said she is gradually making up her mind to live as an independent woman when we eventually get married.
In the middle of her rantings, she said that she had even seen her father treat her mum like that on several occassions.

I tried many things to make her see otherwise and even went as far as reminding her of a particular gadget that I had promised to her cos she needed it badly and could not afford it. Pls house, what should I do?

Thoughtful responses pls.

lumideezle: Hello plp i need you advice on this. I met this Igbo babe while fell in love with her @ first sight, on getting closer I found out she had a lot of bad habits she gets very abusive when she is angry I hate any1 abusing me cuz I respect myslf 2much, I also think she does Aristo cuz she has this" Friend" she told me abt she said he was 60, the guys sends her 15k credit every week, sends his driver 2 pick her anytime and on her BD sent her 3diff cakes and a trunk full of gifts. The truth is I think sh knw feelings 4 me 2 buh she just cannot leave this man I've confronted her several tiimes and she keeps promising 2 cut off alll communications only 4 me 2 find out she has just deviced more secretive means 2 communicate.

My main prob now is that I am seriously in love with her and even when I'm terribly angry all she has 2 do is smile @ me and my heart wld melt instantly what can I do pls!
I am not usually like this infact I'm OG 2 d core never falling in love kynna nicca buh this 1 don catch me o !!

Cachez: Well guys,

What if the married woman is not happy in her marriage and the husband is not appreciating what he has?

Is it still a no go?

Gbam. Well said.

ijebabe: I would suggest the children stay with their mother (I don't know how she is with them) but I feel a mother will take care of her children better than a stepmom would. Just my opinion based on the sad stories I hear. File for a divorce since you have made up your mind and arrange an accommodation for her and the kids. Talk to her about it first and do it when the kids are not around because there is bound to be a fight. Involve the family in ur decision if you think she'll get really violent and just end it there. have a talk with the children afterwards clearly explaining with any insult why you have decided this. They will understand in the future if not now. Kids are not dumb they might even be praying for this divorce.
A monthly allowance can be arranged by you and sent for the her's and the children's upkeep. If you would rather they stay with you then fine but i don't see that happening with your work schedule and studies. Don't pull them out of school let them finish where they are unless you have other reasons for doing so. If she goes back to her first husband then you are no longer entitled to take care of her just the children's expenses. You will have to make time to visit the children as much as possible they shouldn't grow up thinking they were abandoned by their father.

KOYA-INT.:
I thank you all for all your comments.

Pastors of many Churches, Elders in the Church, Elders in the community had intervein in our matter. But she will never listeaned, I have on many ocassions called her at mid night to call her to order, all she will say was I am very sorry I will never do it again and believe me the next day another one will come to play. She had so many tricks, the tells a lot of lies that I had alway got cut up with her.

There was one time I had to take her to the Lagos State Mediation Centre for counselling and pre-caution, since 7 year ago but all the same.

I decided to luck her in Palour because I do not trust her any more with all her attitudes. When I notice that she keep on traveling every time, I had to force her to go back to School early this year to attend NCE Part-time programme thinking that all will be resolved later when she is well educated. She is in the programme now and I have decided to sponsor her throughout the four years because of the 3 children that she had for me. I am not intrested in living with her any more and I am always afraid of her because she always put her Phone in silence and receiving calls secretely.

I am very sure that she is still in close contact with the first husband. It is better to cut it short now, esle she may end up poining me to die and collect my Pension and Gratuity all to run and go back to former husband in Ibadan.

My decision had been a rational one before my conclusion but I am still worried because of the children future, education and upbring. That is exactly what is keeping me on with her else we would have parted since.

I have Bsc (Adm), PGD, MBA and now writing my Professional Marketing examination.

If I could get a big job offer it will be difficult to cut her off because she will claim that when I am now successful that is when I want to leave her. I agree to send her to school as far as she so wish ever since but she will never listean to me.

It is better to do it now.
Please advice me on approach the Children future, education and upbringing.

I am fed up. That is my decision. Base on rationality, physcology and phylosophy.

Please further advices on next step of strategies to impliment the cut off peacefully.

DONkollione: bro! u talked about charcoal in ur mouth abi? hv u qwestioned her at all? no wait till jungle mature b4 u go for prayers
ioo!

DONkollione: not all pastors bro!

sorry @op re u christian sef?