₦airaland Forum

[quote author=Latrice699@gmail.com]I'm a Nollywood fan also...I'm a Yankee and love the movies and I always wondered the same thang...makes the Najia women look weak an desperate....I have a lot of africian friends here in the States and they dont play that beggin stuff....[/quote]They don't have to play the begging
But they will play the single game

dkings101: You want me to mention a profession?? Tell me ur profession and I would tell you where u cheat. All those profession you urself highlight taken bricklayers, plumber, mechanic and all in consideration, they all cheat on daily basis. Not that you won't make profit out of your profession bt you would imagine they wanna milk you dry.

Watever you like u termed me but I challenge you to tell me ur profession and I would tell you hw you cheat on daily bases. You sin outside of this context and a Yahoo boi...to God, we are sinners. Am not here to drag a long tab neither am I here for insult. If Obasanjo, GEJ come to your house today, I wonder if you won't give them red carpet to walk with. Sin is Sin...na 1 person we go answer to and thats GOD. If God can forgive U of ur sin why not a Yahoo'er??

Other case for support 419 and Yahoo
Carry on with the BS

booqee: My sister just got a job offer in d same company her fiance works. She's confused on accepting d appointment because she thinks it doesn't make sense to work in d same company with her would be husband, but then its been a very long time she's been searching for a job, and she doesn't want to lose dis one opportunity she's finally got. Besides the salary is a REALLY fat one , infact bigger dan her qualification. She asked for my advice, but i was just moping, as i was confused as well.
Pls guys what do u think she should do??

Is the company small?
Are they going to work in the same depart?
I know it can be a big issue down the road, if they work in the same depart

Three some
Congratulate!!!!!!!!

dkings101: Yahoo or No Yahoo....all profession Got Yahoo in it. I have seen a Pastor preaching the bible on Pulpit and the next day I see him in Cybercafe throwing Job. Wen you look at every business of the day, be it petty traders, marketers, bankers, doctor...just name the profession, there is no how they don't cheat daily to make profit. Where would you classify this kind of theft? All is still Yahoo. Little sin, big sin...all na sin.

Am not justify or defending the act but every day of man's life is cheating so make una no paint Yahoo red. It is a game to me and not theft. We play Brain game. If Tinubu or Obasanjo pikin wan marry una or una sister...U won't object cos ur first reasoning wd be you have landed in cash not knowing how the cash came into being. Get rich and die trying. Lets leave matter for matayas.

Justifying

Ruthabokoku: Thank you all ever so much.
I have been reading all day and smiling but at work so could not reply.. CC you are not my aunty but my mother,some of the things you have said on here, my folks didnt even say to me. God bless you and yours.
I remain positive.

I just feel the need to defend him a bit in light of what the thread has become. Just for the sake of the future, what if he sees this someday?.

He is not lazy or relaxed about the whole situation, infact he worries day and night and I catch him looking into thin air all the time searching for what is not lost ...lol. I only feel he is in a wrong environment, one that he is not used to and has been unable to penetrate.

Years ago, before I met him he ran a successful business that went down the drain. He still has the company papers and some documents he shows me to prove it. Things went the order way and he lost all (long story). His longtime girlfirend left him and he sold what he had left and moved to another city thats where we met. Infact we joke about it and I say so you have made money before and I have never enjoyed your money and he replies that you would soon enjoy it and be tired. He started hustling and doing all sorts of business to make money (nothing bad) and by the time I met him he had bought a new car (toks o..lol) and was saving money to get a place. According to him, he bought the car first in order to move around easily. At that time he was staying with a friend. As for me, I would not lie I met someone with a bit of potential that I fell in love with and married him. He got a small place before we got married and we moved in. After a few months we moved to a bigger place. I was working and he was still hustling,selling all kinds of things, doing middleman for businesses etc. I would not say all was rosy because we were still managing but at least we were fine.

We relocated due to some reasons (I wont be tempted to share..lol) and obviously he is not used to this UK system, hence the position he is in. I encourage him all the time to think of what he can do to supplement the income but he tells me he is thinking, but if you ask him of what he can do in Nigeria, he has a long list. The not wanting to be seen in places issue as to do with people he knows back home, he has friends and past clients that visit and all that kind of thing (to be honest, I don't blame him)

Therefore, I came on here to seek advice on how to move ahead so we can at least increase our income and save enough money to return to Nigeria where I know he can excel.

To the law degree and accountancy, thanks for your advice but it did make me chuckle. Infact it made my day, I am my hubby's PA as he calls me o, I fill all his forms and pay all the bills. He is no good with computers and books o.

Once again guys I really appreciate the prayers, something +ve happened today, I received an invitation to a test from one of the coys I have been applying to and I believe this is due to all that happened over the weekend. I am someone that believes God answers some people's prayers more than others and he must have heard the cry of you guys. I am positive about this job.
God bless us all.

Your husband can let people know that he can do handyman work
My handyman has made over 250 for three visit that is really cheap ( just from me for the 10 days)
The dude don't ask me for lot of money

Ogosoga: What a man can do
A woman can do even better

Great
So "A woman can do even better" women need to come to the table with equal contribution to the family
Not my money is mind money but my husband money is for our money

keepingmum: To the poster, I can relate wit u. A few months back I posted my similiar challenges on here n I got the good advise, d insults, d sympathies etc.
My situation hasn't changed yet. My hubby still hasn't got a job ( m d breadwinner of d family 7yrs running). I'd like 2 have child nos 2 but can't afford it even our son has been bugging for a sibling.
You myt b struggling, but take solace dt u r not struGgling alone, ur hubby is struggling with u. I happen 2 carry d family's burden on my shoulders as well as dealing with my inlaws belief that I am controling their son because I am earning.
I do believe nothing lasts forever and things do change. Even the clock/time is never static within the same hour. So have faith, work hard n stay +ve.

Sorry for your headache
I hope your husband appreciate you
Your husband might take any thing you said as controlling cos you are the breadwinner now
You need to be careful how you talk to him, he is still a man
Good luck

monkeyleg: People are taking a very simplistic view about this issue, You can have all sorts of grand plans, but believe me, that is not how life works. Dont get me wrong, it is good to plan, but that is not all it takes. I think what is required here is encouragement and helpful suggestion. I am also a believer that it is never too late, there are always options, you might need to dig deeper. For instance, I would always advice older folks who want to change or enhance thier careers to look for professions which are professional with a rapid growth rate (Law and Accounting) For instance there are Law conversion course which take 1 yr to achieve and can set him off in that direction. I have a friend, in his mid 40's, after years of working as an engineer, went back to do law and was called to bar in the uk last year. Guess what, he is a Barrister now, and just figure out what they get paid. There are also many Nigerian legel firms in the UK, where Nigerians are making a lot of money. So thats one.


Another is accountancy, he can start his acca, which if serious should take him 2yrs to complete. As he progresses and and becomes part qualified, he can get jobs which will pay him significantly more than he is getting now. Once fully qualified, he can work for himself as a Chartered Accountant and can work for himself.

So these are 2 good options, besides going through the business route. Research suggests that most of us in our working lives would at some point have to retrain at least 3 times. it is all about how you re-invent yourself. See link to one of the course below

http://www.allaboutlaw.co.uk/index.php/non-law/conversion-courses/

Law degree big student loan?
I have seeing Lawyer want 65,000.00 fed job and I said WTF
Life is luck, hard work and never giving up
Growing up as a kid I have always wanted to be a lawyer or degree in International Relation
I left the country and I started think what type of job, can I have with out race been an issue
I was thinking of Accounting or my present Job
I am not the smartest dude around keep B's and C's and some A's but I have been luck,done the hard work of scarify and position myself
The lord has been good to Me
I will always be grateful to God, I have had set back
I have come back Better and stronger

monkeyleg: People are taking a very simplistic view about this issue, You can have all sorts of grand plans, but believe me, that is not how life works. Dont get me wrong, it is good to plan, but that is not all it takes. I think what is required here is encouragement and helpful suggestion. I am also a believer that it is never too late, there are always options, you might need to dig deeper. For instance, I would always advice older folks who want to change or enhance thier careers to look for professions which are professional with a rapid growth rate (Law and Accounting) For instance there are Law conversion course which take 1 yr to achieve and can set him off in that direction. I have a friend, in his mid 40's, after years of working as an engineer, went back to do law and was called to bar in the uk last year. Guess what, he is a Barrister now, and just figure out what they get paid. There are also many Nigerian legel firms in the UK, where Nigerians are making a lot of money. So thats one.


Another is accountancy, he can start his acca, which if serious should take him 2yrs to complete. As he progresses and and becomes part qualified, he can get jobs which will pay him significantly more than he is getting now. Once fully qualified, he can work for himself as a Chartered Accountant and can work for himself.

So these are 2 good options, besides going through the business route. Research suggests that most of us in our working lives would at some point have to retrain at least 3 times. it is all about how you re-invent yourself. See link to one of the course below

http://www.allaboutlaw.co.uk/index.php/non-law/conversion-courses/

N/A

chaircover: My dear, please dont be fooled; so many people abroad live from hand to mouth and that is the honest truth. From what you say, you both are in employment; yet another reason to be thankful especially now that there is a recession and so many people are out of jobs.

Now the good news; the two of you focused on your goals makes you so much stronger and the love that you have for each other and the peace that you enjoy in your home is priceless. Money cannot buy that. By your own admission you are married to a wonderful man. . . . these kinds of men are in short supply these days.

You are both hardworking and I believe that this will eventually pay off. Spend wisely and all you need to do is to pray and be focused and please stop worrying but enjoy your family and the breath of life.

Dont be tempted to look at other peoples watches to set your time because you dont know what problems that they too have in their lives that they too are covering up under smiles but what you can do is to try your best to put aside a little every month; even of its £50 a month; it may seem small to start with but that adds up to £600 a year.

Great comment
I am glad you appreciate your husband and his hard work
He must be lucky to have you
As long as you keep working hard things will turn around
Like she said don't look at people
Set a realistic goal

Chrisbenogor: Life my dear friends is a war, sometimes its hard to swallow because we are all brought up thinking we have to be nice and we have to carry other people along that we tend to forget that our primary instinct is to survive. One of the biggest and the most fought war fronts since the history of man is in our “romantic” relationships, personally over the little time I have spent in this world I have found this war to be very ferocious and fought with so much passion but with very little tactical awareness. The main reason is that most of us ignore the main rule of warfare which is know thyself and thine enemy, today that enemy is the Man and we are going to try and understand how this man fights his “romantic” battles.

You see a man is a very straightforward creature, if men were to be a programming language we would be a basic machine level language that understands just zeros and ones, a man does not need a valid reason to want to have sex with another woman aside from the fact that she looks “hot” on a very basic level. A man does not need to do any permutations and think is she good enough or is she smart enough? Maybe to have a real relationship or to settle down with yes he might consider that, but in a very basic and primal way a man is moved by what he sees. So when I hear ladies say “what I cannot stand is cheating, if he does it once I will kick his ass to the curb” , I ask is that what the real problem is?

During one of these spats recently I asked my friend which scenario she thinks would hurt her the most:

- You find out your boyfriend went to strip club with his friends and ended up having sex with a hooker

- You find out your bf has been secretly having lunch with his EX for the past month

Nine out of ten times they have a damascus moment and realize that it is emotional betrayal that is much more important than a man having sex, but she says, why is it that when a woman goes out to a club and ends up sleeping with a guy she is called names? Well that is because women usually have to cross that emotional barrier first before it gets to sex. I like to look at it from an evolutionary point of view, you see a woman’s child is always her child, and as such her own issues are things like will this man be able to take care of this child, provide food and shelter for us or is he just going to run a way ? In that light a woman has to be a lot more careful and scrutinize who she is getting into bed with. The man on the other hand has a bigger dilemma, he does not always know for sure if a child is his own, so he wants to “try as many times as possible” to make sure that his own genealogy continues to exist.

Now like I said I know this is probably hard for some of you to swallow and some might look at this as a justification for a man to cheat but it is really only an explanation of how a man works. No amount of wishing away would change the fact that men will cheat regardless of what the stakes are, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, JFK, Tiger Woods………the list is endless. The trick is to know when the man crosses the emotional line and from then onwards the gloves come off, protect yourself as much as you can, betrayal is the real pain in any heart break.

I am a staunch believer that a relationship is 40% love, 40% commitment and 20% of sacrifice, as a man I often remind myself of this and it keeps me from straying. This does not mean that we should hide how we really see things, I think embracing who you are and comparing it viz a viz what you want from life or what you have committed yourself to goes a long way in dealing with this “demon” we carry inside. The world is fast changing and one of the big tenets of evolution is the specie that fails to adapt ultimately goes extinct.

In the words of the famous Sun Tzu:

1. Therefore, I say: Know your enemy and know yourself; in a
hundred battles, you will never be defeated.
2. When you are ignorant of the enemy but know yourself, your
chances of winning or losing are equal.
3. If ignorant both of your enemy and of yourself, you are sure to
be defeated in every battle.

As always I appreciate your comments. Have a nice weekend guys.
http://leenigma./2012/05/18/rules-of-engagement/

Thanks

hardbody: is love synonymous with sex, if no, cant a man love his wife and still do the thang with someone else, i am inexperienced, so i am just ventilating my curiousity

Men have sex with other women with out loving her
Men don't do what women do emotion
Sometime for men it is all about sex

Alleinad: recently, as i talked with friends and acquaitances alike,i got scared by the number of ladies who have decided to stay off relationships for a while due to different heart rending stories of what they have suffered in the hands of guys...i thot my case was unique but i see that there are so many ladies going thru worse things than i am. Even lesbians have used this opportunity to lure innocent ladies into such awful act. Guys,wetin we do una? Why are you guys hurting us now at such an elevated rate?? Sleeping with our friends and sisters? Beating us black and blue? Demanding excessive sex and refusing to commit?? We deserve happiness too,our hearts are turning to stone o... Abeg,wetin we do??so that we go amend...

Back to you
Women why are you hurting us?

opokonwa: Nigerians are not doing badly in this marriage thing

Please repeat that?

solidbroda: now that im ok, and even souring higher, they all wanna date me. well, im just gonna bleep y'all till you have no walls in your heart and cry that men are wicked. no be my fault, cos when i had nada y'all girls use me wash. And i dont giv a Bleep if you be witch or ogbanje, my granny self, be ur oga.

Time to eat
for sure women will be there
Some don't want to be part of the hard work

joanana: @ op They cheat because its their nature and Its a Mans World Total rubbish!!!! I don't really know y they cheat seriously. Yesterday on Inspiration FM, a married man openly confessed that he cheated on his wife after listening to an inspiring word on the "Importance of Family n Marriage" from a pastor on air!!!

If ur wife can pledge her undying love to u forever, y cant you the husband do the same? Na wa oooooo

Nigerian women are becoming better cheaters than Nigerian Men
Nigerian women use to know how to hid the BS
But now it is all over the place
So stop playing

janyj: My boss has a terrible breath and he smells badly,words can't describe the way he stinks. He has been so nice to me ever since I got employeed and he uses every opportunity to come close to me. His "stinking" problem irritates me. when ever he comes to my office to give instructions sometimes I feel like passing out because the smell is not a joke, my colleagues have noticed it but they are not bothered because he is not their immediate supervisor, he doesnt come in contact with them as he does with me.He is my immediate supervisor and always has this stupid excuse for coming to my office, like asking for my pen, when he has a pen in his pocket. he wants to use the phone in my office when he has a phone in his office. he always comes to my office every now and then with his smelling body. I really got tired and I told him if there s anything he needs he could send me a mail and I would respond instead of him going back and forth, but he said its fine, he doesnt mind.I even bought him a big bottle of mouth wash and perfume on his birthday, but I dont think he used it because he still stinks as usual.

Last month, he had the guts to open his smelling mouth to tell me, he wants me to be his woman and he wants to start a serious relationship with me, the only reason why i didnt slap him is that he was my boss. Well,I politely turned him down, after that day, he started acting strange he shouts at me, embarassing me everytime. I was about to quit the job but I didnt becos i need the money. I need the job, what should I do?

You should have told him
You like him but engaged
You have to know how to win

buchibabe: NEVER!!! NEVER!!NEVER!!! Anyway dat part of my life is history npw cos we r no longer togeda.my life was a miserable one with him. He came in d guise of a "man of God" and decieved me and I tot I was gettin married to a saint.not knowing he's even worse dan all d bad guys in naija put togeda. I was just to naïve and young to understand dat not all who call d name of d lord does so with a clean heart.he had nothin wen we married,he's not good looking,we barely managed to do our wedding,I never had all d comfort n luxury but yet I loved him wit my heart. I lost my dad at a very tender age so when I met my ex I was happy because I tot[b] I found a replacement for my dad,u know someone who wil treat me like a daughter and younger sister but I was so wrong. I wasted 3 yrs of my life with a pastor" dat drinks and womanizes.[/b]I dnt wish any of my friends to go thru wat I went. Bt I hv no regrets,my God is a God of Consolation and compensation

Sorry
Husband are not replacement of Dad
Husband is a man that want to share your life with you
Can we hear your husband side of the story
We want the whole true not half ass story

popkid: We met 2009 and he asked me to date him then, and I say no cos I was not ready to date anyone. We parted and lost contact. 2years later we met again and dis time he want to marry me after another girl has given him a son. Pls I need help house, should I marry him now. Yes or No. (He loved me so much and I now love him too)

Do you have issue with him having a son?
If he love you, why not?
Love is a two way street?
it is unconditional , unselfish, Respect , fairness and consideration
The first priority to both of you is your maariage

sosoluv: why do men expect women to dedicate to them what they are not ready to give back in return?

Men are always giving
Things are changing because some people don't know how to appreciate the kindness
If people don't appreciate your kindness stop

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]WARNING - IF YOU ARE GOING TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION HONESTLY, MAKE SURE YOUR SPOUSE DOES NOT. . .I REPEAT DOES NOT KNOW YOUR NL USERNAME.

You are now free to open Pandora's box.

Thank you!! [/quote]I did
So what now?

stanikechi: Pls what will u do?

Move out ASAP and put the house in the market

Vikin: See as everybody dey shout yes yes...

Naija! Even the ones suffering and smiling.

Great O

My present spouse YES. YES
EX- HELL NO with two of my legs, I will run far

sosoluv: why do men expect women to dedicate to them what they are not ready to give back in return?

Did you cheat on your man?
Please respond

[quote author=Risky_mallam]Ladies and gentlemen, friends and foes. Here is a scenario: An imaginary dude/gal, sits down or stands up, whichever one you deem fit and creates/writes about what he finds bothersome either in NL or the society at large.

Expecting to get positive and helpful comments , what does he get for his labour, energy and time? Nothing but hateful and vile comments filled with so much vitriol, not forgetting the childish posts and criticism that trail many posts

And the culprits are [/quote]Why do you have issue?
People writing about your dumb ass

[quote author=Mrs.Chima]Were these ladies dumb as hell?[/quote]I hope she read it and you know what? why it's so sad
She goes to church too
That is why you start asking "where do moral values come from"

Their are ladies in the home who think 419 or Yahoo is not a crime
The question here is do you want to deal with individual that is criminal?

The thread is from a lady who pussy cannot close
Dumb B
If 7 feet can provide for you
Good

booggy: i'm 27, i love this girl but she's just 16.i've decided to be faithful to her but the sex urge comes at times. she's a virgin. should i go ahead n disvirgin her?

27 year old man with a 16 year old girl
Please call the cop
JAIL

[quote author=Nn-a-Nn-a]a man shuld be able to take care of his family
save for rainy day when u are working
put ur wife in business while u have the resources
now u dont have anything to fallback to because u didnt make plans for it
if job's wife culd curse him and leave. who are you.not her fault. she is only not descipline to respect and not curse.
get a job and get your wife back.ofcourse she is not working n you r not working so if she remain.bros na DIE.[/quote]You sound very dumb
The only good comment was all men need to ensure that their wives can contribute