₦airaland Forum

MRbrownJAY: [b]i thought you were intelligent, t[/b]he above statement clearly showed you are not.

MRbrownJAY: it doesnt really matter what THESE FEW MEN want, women should focus on men who want to respect them and the relationship they are in....... and if anyone finds themselves in such r/ship (which they dont approve of), then they should simply drop this man.

MRbrownJAY: ^^^i can see that it is NOT what i thought, IT'S WORSE!!!!

- you are jobless yet talk negatively about John, who HAS A JOB and treat her RIGHT?! you FAILED bro!!!!

- if you have NO MONEY then i was wrong, and you bring absolutely nothing to that r/ship. you FAILED bro!!!!

- so because you cant dance, means you cant go out with your girl? many people cant dance and yet go out with their partners. who said you MUST dance in clubs? you FAILED bro!!!!

- when people enter a RELATIONSHIP, they have to understand that its no more about YOU YOU YOU, but more about US US US. you sound so selfish thinking only about what is good for YOU. you FAILED bro!!!!

- you said:"anybody wey no fit accept me as i dey make she go die o".....with such attitude i understand why she left you. and btw, if you think this way, and she LEFT YOU, why come to NL to biatch about it then?! you FAILED bro!!!!

you definitely aint ready to be in a relationship. you need to work on yourself, your negative attitude and your issues. thinking the way you do , you will NEVER find someone that will stick with you (even if you look like Dbanj)

MRbrownJAY: any sane woman will tell you that you the above in bold makes NO DAMN SENSE......... and they would be right!

De~Blunt:
[b]My girl subjects me to a routine phone check on regular intervals, in which she checks my call logs, chats and texts. [/b]Last week I refused her from such checks and she got mad, I opted to leave her house but she insisted on throwing me out naked (it was abt 8am, I had just a boxer-short on). I refused and suggested to her that I dressed up first but she got violent and tried to push me out. After much tussle I decided to let her win cos she was creating a scene and she had scarred me badly with her nails. I was thrown out into the corridor with just a short on(embarrassed) and she kept releasing a piece of my clothing to me every 5mins (not funny) but she never released my phone and insisted i give her the unlock password.

I have decided to call it quits with her as this is the third time she has gone physical on me and I am afraid I might retaliate someday and get myself into serious trouble. The problem is she still has my phone. So I ask does a girlfriend have any right over her guy's phone?

Michelle22: Plz i need ur advice here.
[b] 6 guys has proposed to me 4 a crious relationship [/b]and nw am so confuse on how to make d right choice, cos dis is my first time of dating. I dnt 1nt to regret ever dating a guy. Help me out please.

Coldfeet: You can't do this on your own! Seek the[b] help of genuine men of God[/b]
Your pastor know you problem and star F you .
Before then start with fasting and prayers and it'll help to make a vow to God eg DO SOMETHING FOR GOD. Will put you in my prayers.

nwando: There are good men and bad men everywhere.
A friend in California married to a Yoruba man gets into fist fights with her hubby,does it mean Yoruba men fight their wives?
Men generally are controlling.
That is just their nature,period
The mildly controlling ones have been tutored by someone

If you like go find a man from Timbuctoo
I bet you he'll be just the same
It takes wisdom to know how to handle them
And make them eat off your palms.

Which one be inheritance as stated by the earlier poster ?
people can make a big deal of nothing.

lumideezle: My Name is Akin, I'm 40 yrs old and I presently live in Nigeria, I'm sharing this story to raise awareness about violence against Men because nobody talks abt it these days. My story goes thus, I left the shores of Nigeria immediately after my University studies to the Uk in search of greener pastures. Although the grass in the uk was indeed greener but only a few people were allowed to graze on it. I had to start as a toilet washer even though I had a first class in petroleum engineering, I later graduated to plate washing,security. Washing plates during the day and doing my security guard job at night in the cold, I could only afford to sleep for 4hours a day because of my piling bills I had to meet up with. All these meanear jobs I did for more than 15yrs and I managed to pay 80 percent of my house mortgage and also take care of myslf. My problem started when I came back to Nigeria to marry, I met a young nigerian girl and fell in love, married her and brought her to the Uk to live with me as man and wife OMG I was so in love. My wife started mixing up with uk women and started acting different. She wouldn't cook, clean the house or do anything and if I dare complain she would call the police and tell them all sort of lies against me. I once slept overnight in Jail because my wife and I had a slight argument and she called the police and told them I was treating her and the kids (how can I threaten my own God given children the only reason y I suffered so much was because I wanted to make dem comfortable in life and now u accuse me of threatening them ?? ) This continued for a while till one faithful night, my wife refused to cook for the children and myself as usual I was so angry because our first son has ulcer and had to eat at a particular time of the evening, I had gone to work and came bck late and my wife who does nothing but sit at home could nt make a simple meal for our child , I had to call her parents 2 complain Because frankly, I was fed up at this point . Her parents spoke to her and she promised to change her behaviour. That night my wife purposely sparked up an argument between us and she even slapped me!! It was only the fear of God that stopped me giving her the beating of her life that day all I did was grab her and slam her on the couch. She later called the police and told them I beat her and she wanted me out of her house (your what?? A house I paid for with many years of working under the cold?? Anyway I was in jail 4 2dys and my wife took me 2 court 4 custody of the our children. My life work was gradually being snatched from me and there was little I could do about it. I tried 2 apologise and beg her only for her to respond with a restraining order against me.. I almost blanked out when I got this. I couldn't see my own children unless I apply one week in advance? And I could see dem only in the company of other people?? I lived for one hotel to another for more than one year and when I couldn't take it anymore I had to move back to Nigeria to start all over again. My question is where did I go wrong?? Is it a crime to love? Is it a crime to bring your own wife to live with you?? Young men pls learn from my story, and those human right Organisations know that women also assault men physically and emotionally and the law turns a blind eye to this. My story (Akin)

andyanders: I think poverty is the cause of this problem of food. Where you are comfortable, food is the least thing you think of. I believe poster that you grew up in a family where meat is counted and food is treasure.

In a comfortable home, every matured person can go and take the quantity of food he or she wants. It is only when you are a stranger that you cannot dish food from the kitchen. Unless you have issues and also this man must have observed that you attached so much importance to minor issues. With this, you must have problem with your husband and sister in=laws when they come visiting or come staying with you.
Please try to accommodate everybody and do not allow worldly issues to destroy your home.

BABE!:
How many pieces of meat can one person eat? Nigerians? You people can eat up to 6 fist-size pieces of goat meat in one sitting.

I've typed all there is to type about the SIL. She needs some se[i]xua[/i]l healing. Moving on to the Husband.



To the extent of reprimanding his wife in the presence of his sibling(s)? Haba?

2mch: There is no wrong is wrong in this matter. Even the OP's friend can enter into her pot and eat without asking. Why not family? The husbands family has become your family, whether you like it or not. If you dont like the family, dont marry the man. Your family has also become his family. If at any time they are staying with you, you adjust and accomodate. Family is something you cannot throw away, so you better learn to live with it. If the crazy OP did not open way by insulting the sister first over something as small as food, the sister will not have the mouth to disrespect the OP. Respect begets respect. They way she treats her husbands family when he is there and when he is not there says a lot about how she respects him. The husband could have handled this very easily. Quite frankly the sister did nothing wrong. As long as we are not starving, why cant my sister eat when she is hungry. The man gave his sister his food, because a guy will rather starve than see his family go hungry. This includes his siblings and his wife or kid. Not because you are married, your own family becomes a distant memory. The OP has mental problems.

Outstrip: [b]Please abeg stop all this dry fast issues. The SIL has no spiritual problems. She is only a nuisance because she has been given the go ahead by her brother. [/b]It is normal human behavior to misbehave if you have an opportunity

Sisi_Kill: Read your post then go back and read OP's Post again, this time. . .SSSSSLOOOOOOWWWWWWWLLLLLYYYYYYY and tell me what is different between what you wrote here and what she did.

ibrahim007: @ luckgames,aw old are you son??.

Sisi_Kill: I have a question for the guys and I hope you answer sincerely. . .How would you react if your wife's younger brother comes to your house, not greet you or acknowledge your presence, I mean giving you serious attitude, after all the house belongs to his sister too. Ten mins later, you hear a car starting and before you can say Jack Robinson he has driven away with your car without asking permission.

Please be honest and don't say it is not the same thing. . .we've already established that this is about being territorial.

ibrahim007: @ poster,out of all the men in the world u tied the knot with a retard.Honestly,ur hubby is a boy jor.My advice,u're in a deadly position ma'am u either bi their bitch(very dangerous option) or toughen up with the support of your husband.Naw that your hubby is acting like a boy "double wahala.My mum was a victim,believe me I know what your situation is like.Plus,my father protected my mum.He lost when he was bedridden for 7yrs before his death.Try to win that boy over to ur side,if not it won't be an easy ride ma'am.Ur sista inlaw is a bitch,a good sista inlaw relate with mutual respect not power play.And of course you started a war which is not going to go down well since all the sisters have their heads in the same basket.And ur hubby who is suppose to draw lines or better still be a mediating factor is acting like a boy.If u were my sister I'll make sure that boy doesn't see his child till he's 94 that's if he can make it

Outstrip: Sigh.[b] I don tire. There is never any excuse to manhandle your wife especially when she is nursing a child. He is not a man. I[/b]f he was a man his sisters will not have the liver to call the house and chastise his wife. Your husband does not realize that he has screwed up majorly. All you need is to give trouble makers an inch and you are finished. In my opinion do not apologize. Absolutely not. If you apologize you are just giving him the go ahead to continue that bahavior. Physical agression only progresses over time. This is nothing compared to other trying issues that can happen in a marriage. What will he do then? Come at you with a matchete? Nip this in the bud. I don't like the idea of you moving to your parents home. It gives the impression that that is his house not yours. I would defintiely move to another bedroom though and continue with life. Ignore him until he decides to be a man and apologize. You guys have to set the rules together for you home. I personally do not care if someone who lives with me dishes their own food but I know with the culture thing it is almost a taboo for someone to go dish food from another womans cooking pot. Pele my dear. take it easy. Focus on the baby before you run mad.

obasijoy: @ op. I have been married before but now divorce with a son. I know no matter how good you are to your husband people and him, what will happen must happen, still that continue to be good because there is a great reward for it. MY ADVISE to you which I know it must quench that fire in house is simple, as for now your husband's mind is poisoned that you don't love any member of his family. Please just call your husband and his sister together *TOGETHER* tell them this please I don't like how devil wants to destroy this happy home because of food or something else. If food is the problem, chioma or whatever your sister inlaws name eat and honey depending on what you call your husband please we don't have to destroy our own home or generation pls we are all one. I am part of your family *you are now answering there name* I am chioma's elder sister if she wants to respect me let her do but if she doesn't want to respect me your wife and you are in support of it so be it. Please all I want in my home is peace. Honey I love you so much and also your family we are all one please. N/B: make sure you talk to them together. I promise you this must restore your joy and respect in your home more especially your hubby love for you. I believe the have sense. Please don't you ever revenge. IF REVENGE IS SWEET, WHY DOES IT LEAVE A BITTER TASTE.

jennykadry: Listen to me(I still need your answers to my questions) but sit your husband down and talk to him, order him to stop being silly else the next time he handles you the way he handled you the previous night, he will have to eat sand and garri to see his child again.

Don't you have sisters that can come to your house and throw those girls out? what is this? why are you acting so soft? they declared war on you the minute they decided to wanno take over your child. FIGHT BACK DAMMIT >:(

This is why women need to be doing something that brings them income, I don't know what you do for a living but step up your game cos right now? it's You and God against the world

obasijoy: @ op. I have been married before but now divorce with a son. I know no matter how good you are to your husband people and him, what will happen must happen, still that continue to be good because there is a great reward for it. MY ADVISE to you which I know it must quench that fire in house is simple, as for now your husband's mind is poisoned that you don't love any member of his family. Please just call your husband and his sister together *TOGETHER* tell them this please I don't like how devil wants to destroy this happy home because of food or something else. If food is the problem, chioma or whatever your sister inlaws name eat and honey depending on what you call your husband please we don't have to destroy our own home or generation pls we are all one. I am part of your family *you are now answering there name* I am chioma's elder sister if she wants to respect me let her do but if she doesn't want to respect me your wife and you are in support of it so be it. Please all I want in my home is peace. Honey I love you so much and also your family we are all one please. N/B: make sure you talk to them together. I promise you this must restore your joy and respect in your home more especially your hubby love for you. I believe the have sense. Please don't you ever revenge. IF REVENGE IS SWEET, WHY DOES IT LEAVE A BITTER TASTE.

some-girl:
Some through no fault of theirs are not very clever
Sad