₦airaland Forum

Freesia: At least you are now aware of how she rolls so it would be advisable to call her before visiting,it's kinda odd considering you used to be close but that's what she wants.
Generally it's rare to find a situation where women who used to be best of friends as single women and are still very close as sisters in law.Not sure what happens there but something changes.

WhiteOne: One of my husband friends was very disappointed with his sister. They are from a polygam family background; their father had two or three wife, a lot of girlfriend and 20 kids. Now this lady, herself second wife in her late 30, early 40, tried to convince her brother wife, which was leaving in the UK with their two son, to divorce him because, he was having a long-term girl friend in Nigeria.
Reason long –term girl friend became pregnant and was on her way to become wife number three.
When the brother was in money nobody said a word to the first wife, when he was taking number two back home, number two was from the same village, when number three came, the brother did not have so much money anymore and was on his way back to the UK.
What a mess, all of the men of this family have two to three wife ANS sleep around as, if there is no tomorrow. All the wife which are marring into this family, know this!
So why now the sister in low opened her mouths to the first wife of her brother, what is behind all this?

chaircover: If she wasnt like that from the onset, then it means that probably something has changed somewhere. Could be that she is going through issues with your brother.

Outstrip also asked a good question; was she aware of your arrival? and if yes, did you tell your brother or did you call her also? Maybe your brother forced your visit upon her. Since you have been on good terms with her in the past, then you could have contacted her too, to let you know that you were coming, thats if you didnt

On the other hand; what is one week for goodness sakes? Shebi na to just add one extra cup of rice to the cooking and to wash one extra plate in the sink. Many of us ladies forget that in days of trouble, it is these in-laws who have our husbands ear that can help talk sense into him. May God give us the wisdom to deal with our in-laws Amen.

Arlington: This is the 3rd time i am writting a reply i still cant see it!
Aladunni, i have used clomid i took the 50mg i responded well to it i have most times 3 good follicules mesuaring anywhere from 14 to 25mm .
Are you taking clomid under doctors orders or just over the counter? Please becareful so you dont hyperstimulate your self as you will need monitoring ie ultrasound while taking clomid.

Empadac yes i have done alot of tests even some i did not need to do and they cant find anything wrong. i have checked my blood to be sure i dont have blood clots that can cause miscarriages but still nothing , my doctor is a leading doctor in infertility and he has told me i should just be patient, as they cant find anything wrong why i am having miscarriages. but i am doing my own little research i have heard of something called natural killer cells that thinks a baby is a foreign body and trys to expel it before it grows. May that not be my portion.

mypeace you can still ovulate without visible CM .

armyofone: stay put in that house? i wouldn't. we will settle in court and you take your part and I take mine and move on. And If i can afford a good lawyer, you will get nada!
i wouldn't want to be part of the marriage.
did he stop to think that stress might have had a way for your inability to get pregnant? instead of reducing your workload
to make you rest and do less, he was busy servicing your store keeper.
[b]
mazaje, do you think the husband will be interested in ivf at this stage? [/b]I think IVF in the next marriage definitely not in this one.
OP, I hope you really know how to deal with that man. give him a bitter pill to swallow.

kkk17: I was thinking of what you should do to get back at your husband, all the while i read this. I couldn't think of any. If you are a christian just kneel before God and pour your heart. He has a solution.

Meanwhile, where are all the men in Nairaland? They can't talk again? Because they feel they can be in the man's shoes. Men self *sigh*

some-girl:
Your assumption.

In which of the above sentences was your point made? I seem to have missed it

WhiteOne: Have you heard the words assimilation and association
French assimilation and association far back 1800-1900 in Africa?
There are lot of Nigerian all over the developed Countries
Some time you have to ask yourself? This Dude or lady have lived here for over 30yrs
The state of being assimilated; people of different backgrounds come to see themselves as part of a larger national family.
as•so•ci•a•tion
Noun: 1. A group of people organized for a joint purpose: "the National Association of Broadcasters".
2. A plant community defined by a characteristic group of dominant plant species.

Are you aware of the London Riots?
There is not much assimilation and association going on.
And even some of the 2 nd or 3 rd generation is classified with an immigration background.
There might be a lot of disappointment going on with those people.
That brings me back to Mr. Obama in the White House.
Sorry, what I have seen is shocking, broken family with no men in the home, parents working 24/7 to make a living, divorce, ect.


Sometimes, I feel like cry out, where is your shame, where is your partner, men and woman alike, what are you doing to your children, “why” oh “why” you take the bad habits, the arrogance of us and make it your own, if we hardly do it.
People are running to church praying for a good wife or a good husband, praying, crying, shutting and even screeming to god, and, then you hear, oh, I had somebody and I send him or her packing, because of he/she was not for my likeness or he/she make a mistake.

Chimezie198: How did u feel aftwards?
As for me, Never done such before.

harakiri: @Poster

First of all, your thread is misleading. It's not a "Nigerian men" thing. It's a global trend and it's much worse overseas. At least in Nigeria, most men do their best to get married before the age of 40. Out there, you'll see countless men who are way past 45yrs and the idea of being married barely occurs to them and the reasons aren't far fetched : NO ONE WANTS TO GET RIPPED APART IN DIVORCE SETTLEMENTS THAT ARE OBVIOUSLY TAILORED TO WORK AGAINST THE MAN FROM DAY ONE! Back to the issue, a lot of Nigerian are marriage inclined.

Second, there is a lot of joblessness in the land (like someone rightfully said before). Would you advice your lady friends to get hitched with a guy who has no job? Aren't you one of the feminazis' that beguile women who get married to jobless or less "affluent" men? And you are here talking. This is the same crass hypocrisy i keep talking about. The jobless men are trying to save women from the agony of hardship and you are here talking rubbish. If such men get married with their poor status, you'll be a forerunner in the bandwagon deriding that man. Hypocrite!

Third,Marriage isn't what it used to be anymore. In the days of our forefathers, it was all about a man providing for the family while the woman runs the home-front. Today, with education and "westernization",marriage is much more complex and fragile. Back in the day, it was all about mutual understanding and their marriages lasted. Today, there must be "love" (Whatever that is),understanding,"equality of the $exes",feminism and all sorts of hogwash that is the bane of today's ever skyrocketing divorce rates. Marriage is no longer as attractive as it used to be. Men no longer look at marriage with the same enthusiasm as they used. Most who marry do so out of societal and age pressure NOT "love".

Fourth, With all the "women empowerment", "down with men bandwagons" and "a man must be under your foot" education that is being used to brainwash women these days, Men have seen the wisdom of holding on to their single status for as long as they can coz they know that the moment they sign away their freedom via legal documents, it's all over. In no time, the woman will turn him into a living vegetable and the man will be forced to put up with all sorts of nonsense all in the name of "making the marriage work".

Nuff said!

Busy_body: The end result and ambition of every woman is geared into getting marrried and remaining married until they die putting aside their own needs, passion and self, even if it means dying at the hands of one's husband, AND YOU CALL THIS A BEAUTIFUL CULTURE.

A society whereby a man can beat his wife with reckless inpunity even till the point of death and the Police would not intervene and her folks would plead with her to stay put and manage to avoid bringing shame on the family, AND YOU CALL THIS A BEAUTIFUL CULTURE?

A society that looks down on single women, divorcees, bastards, women who don't give birth to boys etc, AND YOU CALL THIS BEAUTIFUL huh?


I could go on and on and on, bbut will rest my case. . .and say whatever floats your boat Missy.

beautybaby4me: I heard someone saying that three months to the wedding day,a calaber lady is taught how to treat her man right.If so,please share your views on what they are taught

bennyraz: your thread is really amusing you really want Nigerian single men to be put on the spotlight Whoa! You want a Nigerian man to whisk away single women who lack morales on how to make a good home. Interesting. There's one known fact, lets not deceive ourselves, good and homely girls get husbands before age 26.. Men will flock around them because they know that they are wife material. If any woman is looking for husband and no man is show signs of marrying her, she aint a wife material You get it right. If you are looking for husband and you don't do re-branding, re-packaging, re-orientation about whom you are as a lady you can't get any man to propose to you. No be curse. Your focus should be what are the traits a man is looking for in a woman to make her his wife? If it is money, they are alot rich guys out there without no GF's /wife. They are looking for a woman they can call wife. A home maker.

WhiteOne: So Nigeria People see the White Culture only from the distance ?
How come? If I walk the streets of London, Dublin or Austin Texas, Nigerian on mass, they have been there, since 30, 40 or even 50 years.
They work along side white people, their children go to the same school and universities, some of them are even are married to white folks or have Obama like grand children.
They are not back in the village back in Nigeria and do not have access to the main road.
C’mon Nigeria, not all your people are Oga’s with a Harem or Dogs.
Even, if you think about it, believe Now are days Nigerian might be just mix’ed.
When reading about this beautiful culture you guys had a good social system of doing things and managing them, well.
When it all did went wrong?

some-girl:
A ridiculous mentality.
The reason why some women would rather be co-wives than be single.

Your "respect" may as well increase with the number of children a married woman has.

ftmom: @olamide123

A resounding "amen" to that.
In this day and age!!!!
And what was that bit about how to talk to a married woman. Next thing we will hear is how unmarried females are genetically inferior to their married female counterparts
Seriously? I thought I had seen it all!

Btw, I have been happily married for almost 20 yrs so this is not sour grapes/frustration/jealousy. I'm inclined to believe your assertions are rooted in your upbringing and your marriage but even so, all i can say is "nkan mbe"

taryour: am glad my hubby is also a member on naira land so he knows all abt me.
i was raised to b submissive to my husband just as my mother was to my father n my grandma to my grandfather and dat is why dey remain in thier husbands house till date. So it will be unwise of me not to follow their steps.

On d issue of a sencond wife, no woman would ever be happy to allow such,so God helping me i will not give my husband any reason wosover to look outside not to talk of bringing in a second wife. I am legally married n av kid for my husband so for dat reason alone we are stuck togeder till death do us part. No woman prays to share her husband with other women. But if dats d way God wnts it den who am i? Althoug it will realy hurt me to my bones.

WhiteOne: The family is the foundation of our society.
No wonder Nigeria is in such a bad stage!
Mummy believes the children “belong to the wife or to the mother” and “use” them against dad and dad punish mum by taking another girlfriend or wife.
I am wondering “why” Nigerian only copies the rubbish of the white folks and not the good things.
Is it because, they watch American TV show and believe that is the real living?

Jojo Armani: De way we Nigerian youth re going about in marriage really scares me expecially the girls. It makes me to ask my self wat is the main reason for marriage.

girls always desperate to get married while those dat re in it complains everyday. Marriage should be a tin of joy but is turning out to be de opposite.

please wat did u think is de main reason for marriage. Ur opinion is highly needed.

ronkebp: You are right, that some women let out their frustrations on their husbands, for example last sunday, I was so ffrustrated, had too much to do, my job, my school work, my home, my kid, myself, my hubby, I was so mad at the situation that I was moody all through, that day,my hubby kept asking me what was wrong, I was too overwhelmed to voice anything out, he just let me have my peace and I gradually left that mood, almost ruined my Easter though.

charles316: what kind of advice is this? u think u are an iron lady? You will realise that you just know how to talk.

OP,the truth is that u women dont learn. Like ronke said,he is seeing other women and comparing them with you. he is probably not happy with ur looks. have u gained so much weight? i can bet my life that u have. just look at how our single ladies have grown out of shape not to talk of someone who has had 3 kids. The truth is dat giving birth isnt a reason to be out of shape.Look at yourselve and do something.

lopon: Divorce is not an option. you can wake him in the middle of the night to discuss the issue

Ridwan O: hw will u feel if u try to make love with ur house wife but she resist to no,wath will u do?